Between You and Me
by angel-leigh
Summary: [meteor garden cast] [completed] post-mg2. after ah si has been reunited with shan cai and mei zuo found love for himself too, it's xi men and lei's turn to deal with their own unresolved relationships.
1. Between Fate and Destiny

AN: ok ok, i admit i'm weak. i had finally succumbed to my urge to write a MG fanfic. . .

Disclaimer: MG and all it's characters doesnt belong to me, if it's owner ever decide to give away their characters, i'd be happy to marry dao ming si!!!!

"How beautiful."  
  
Yang Xiao You was staring at a shadowy portrait of a woman. The woman had her face turned on one side but with long ebony curls tumbling down her shoulders, a Grecian nose, a pair of perfectly-shaped lips and a long slender neck, the woman was no doubt a beauty beyond compare.  
  
Xiao You's brows creased into a frown. 'Weird but she looks familiar.'  
  
Of course that couldnt be so. For the last two and a half years of her stay in Toronto, Xiao You had not gone out to a single social event where she could have met some new people aside from her classmates at the university.  
  
And if her Design 402 professor had not required her students to see this art exhibit by the graduating Fine Arts students, Xiao You would never had gone. As it was, she was more than perplexed how uncanny the woman in the painting looked to her. Xiao You was positive she had seen this woman before.  
  
'But where? In one of my classes? In my neighborhood?'  
  
"Or maybe she's from Taipei," Xiao You said, noticing some hint of Chinese features in the woman. Xiao You had not realized she had talked out loud until a voice interrupted her thoughts.  
  
"Whose from Taipei? This woman?"  
  
Startled, Xiao You turned to her left to meet a pair of chocolate brown eyes. It was a man about six feet tall with medium built body and a slightly tanned complexion. He had a very good-looking face and a smile that could warm the loneliest of hearts.

Xiao You began to blush a light scarlet color as she realized what she had just been doing. She was checking the man out! What was she thinking?  
  
For but some reason, Xiao You couldnt turn her eyes away. Something in this man attracted her at once and no man had ever attracted ever since Taiwan. . . ever since Ximen Zhong er Lang. . .  
  
Finally noticing the expectant smile in the man's face, Xiao You blushed a light scarlet color. "Yes," Xiao You managed to answer, "I noticed that the woman looked Chinese and looked awfully familiar to me so I thought maybe she's from Taiwan too."  
  
The man's smile grew bigger. "From Taiwan too? You mean you're from Taiwan too? What a coincidence, I'm from Taiwan myself." The man turned his head to examine the painting.  
  
"Well, you're right this woman is from Taiwan."  
  
"You talk like as if you drew this portrait."  
  
The man turned back to face Xiao You. "Why? Don't I look like an artist?"  
  
Xiao You thought for a moment. Actually, the man looked very much how Xiao You always thought artists ought to look like. Mysterious. Strange. Eye-catching. The man looked so much like an artist that Hua Zhe Lei's image suddenly came into Xiao You's mind.  
  
"No, it's not that you don't like an artist, it's just because this exhibit are works from the graduating Fine Arts students and you look. . ."  
  
"Older?" the man supplied.  
  
Xiao You smiled apologetically. "Yeah. You look like you're twenty-five."  
  
"Twenty-six actually. See back in Taiwan, my parents, especially my father had forced me to take a business course instead. Now I'm here in Tornoto and I'm taking Fine Arts to indulge myself."  
  
Xiao You stared at this man, both amused and confused. Amused that he had easily talk to her about his life when they haven't known each other for more than five minutes! Confused too that this man's parents would force their son to take business.  
  
Unless this man was a heir to a big business empire like Dao Ming Si and Mei Zhou Ling and needed proper education on the market, Xiao You thought there was no need for parents to force their childrento take such a course.  
  
Suddenly, a smile appeared in Xiao You's face as she remembered how Mr and Mrs Dong had forced Shan Cai to take business too. But then again, their intention was to have  
  
Shan Cai meet a young and rich bachelor to marry that's why they had send her best friend off to Ying De University.   
  
"What's wrong?" the man in front of Xiao You asked as he noticed how her face furrowed in thought.  
  
"Nothing. I just remembered who this woman reminds me off. She looks a lot like Teng Tang Jing."  
  
The man didnt say a word, he just turned back to stare at his painting.   
  
Xiao You could sense reluctance in the man and it made her thought of Ximen. How he too was once reluctant to tell her a story from his past, the story of Xiao Gen.  
  
Ximen. Xiao You still thought of him every day. Still reminisce those brief yet wonderful moments when he had held her in his arms. Like that time at the rooftop after she showed him Xiao Gen's message. Xiao You knew Ximen was thinking of Xiao Gen then, but it didnt matter, Xiao You had only been aware of her pounding heart.  
  
Xiao You was pulled from her reverie as she heard the man ask her a question. She shook her head, trying to clear off any more thoughts on Ximen.  
  
She realized that was futile though when she noticed once more the man's warm smile. Xiao You could have sworn it was Ximen's! Just as the man's eyes mirrored Ximen's brown orbs.  
  
"I said I'm getting hungry, it's way past lunch time. I would be very happy if you could join me, Miss. . .?"  
  
Xiao You stared at this man, debating whether she should give him her name and accept his invitation. Before she knew what she was doing, she heard herself answering him.  
  
"Yang Xiao You," she said extending her hand. "Thank you for the invitation, I'm a bit hungry myself."  
  
The man took her hand. "Tian Li. Ximen Tian Li."

AN: so that's for the prologue. dont know when i can update next so as to not drive you guys thinking who this man is, i'll answer it now. ximen tian li(tian for our dear ken and li from my 2nd fav ccs male[yukito is my 1st fav]) is ximen's older brother. that's why he kinda look like ximen. in ximen pian, he had said something about an older brother that's why i suddenly came up with this idea. that's all i can say for now. hope to hear some  
  
comments, xie xie in advance!


	2. Between Homecomings and Welcomes

**Disclaimer:** i dont own MG or Hana Yori Dango.

**piglet:** of course, the other characters are here as well. i have been dying to write something with my dear ah si so how can i let this chance pass now? anyways, tnx for the review. about the thing with ximen's bro, i dont know it just popped into my mind when i when i was staring at vic's wallpaper in my pc.

**Amyranth: **i'm sorry for not reviewing your story yet but i would, i promise. thanks for reviewing mine though.

**derksil:** thanks for reviewing this story dont worry i'll update 'my only love' in two days or so.

Shan Cai bit her lip as she looked at the mansion before her. She pulled at Dao Ming Si's hand to stop him from entering the front doors of Hua Zhe mansion.  
  
It has been two weeks since Shan Cai and her Ah Si had been reunited. Two weeks in  
which the couple had spent roaming Barcelona together, just as they did that first time six months ago. The two had happily lived in the present, forgetting everything else but their happiness. Their love.  
  
But the moment they stepped back on Taiwan grounds, reality came rushing back in. Dao Ming Si leavinbg home. . . facing Dao Ming Feng. . . facing Hua Zhe Lei. . .  
  
Lei. Just thinking about him caused Shan Cai's heart to pound hard. Her heart had always pounded for Lei, ever since that first day when Lei stopped to pick up that trash can.  
  
Her heart bleed to be beside Hua Zhe Lei then. To steal glances at him while they sat beside each other on that rooftop and know he'll never see her the way she saw him.  
  
But more than it ever bleed before for Lei, Shan Cai's heart bleeds even more now. Lei had been so very good to her. . . he had stood by her through out that painful period when Dao Ming Si had forgotten her. Rejecting Lei had been the hardest decision in her life. . .  
  
A warm hand squeezing hers brought Shan Cai back from her musings. Looking up, she finds Dao Ming Si staring down at her with so much concern her heart lightened up a bit.  
  
"Shan Cai?"  
  
Shan cai hung her head and refused to meet Dao Ming Si's eyes. "I. . . I'm nervous about facing Lei. . . I know he promised me that it was okay and he even gave you the tickets but I. . ."  
  
Cupping her chin, Dao Ming Si forced Shan Cai to lock eyes with him.  
  
"I understand," Dao Ming Si started. "All our lives, Lei had stepped back to let me have what I want for he had never really wanted anything for himself except Jing. . . and you."  
  
"Dao Ming Sii."  
  
"When he lost Jing, we saw how much it had hurt him. Now with you, I dont think it's possible not to see he's hurting but we could prevent him from getting mad. And he'll surely get mad if we walk into that door and see you unhappy."  
  
With those words, Shan Cai was reminded of what Lei once told her more than two years ago.  
  
'In this world, there are two types of people who are mentally suffering from regrets. One are those who are not able to get the person that they love. The others are those who see their loved ones not being able to get any happiness.'  
  
How ironic those words turned out. Lei, back then, didnt want Shan Cai to give up so she wouldnt regret. And now back together with Dao Ming Si, Shan Cai would never ever regret giving up. But by not giving up on Dao Ming Si, it leaves Lei himself regrettng.  
  
Turning closely, Shan Cai stared at Dao Ming Si and that bedimpled smile of his.  
  
Once upon a time, she had craved for nothing more but to have Hua Zhe Lei smile at her like that. But looking at Dao Ming Si's loving face, she knew as long as Dao Ming Si was at her side, everything would be all right.  
  
Right now, all Shan Cai could do was believe that one day, everything would be all right for Lei too. One day he would be as happy as she was now. And that day would come when Lei finds that right woman for him. That woman who he can love as much as he wanted to love her. Surely that day would come for Lei. And when that day comes, that woman could surely erase every regret from his past.  
  
Her mind cleared, Shan Cai finally returned Dao Ming Si's smile. It was truly a wonder how this pig head simple words could make so much sense to her.  
  
Taking her hand, Dao Ming Si lead her into Hua Zhe mansion. They stopped suddenly when they ran into Lei himself.  
  
"Ah Si. Shan Cai." Lei greeted in his normal tone, Shan Cai immediately noticed something different in him though.  
  
Apparently Dao Ming Si didnt, he greeted Lei back in his usual way. "Lei, surprised?"  
  
"I'm afraid Tian Li had beat you to it, Ah Si."  
  
With the mention of Ximen's brother, Dao Ming Si's whole expression suddenly changed. He turned to look at Lei with an expression Shan Cai couldnt well point out.  
  
"Tian Li?" Dao Ming Si asked still looking at Lei in that weird way.  
  
"Yes. He called this morning and announced he's coming home tomorrow. His announcement caused quite a surprise on Ximen mansion," Lei explained expressionless.  
  
Perplexed how odd the two were acting, Shan Cai went on and asked. "But shouldnt  
  
this be some thing good? He's been gone for what, six years?"  
  
"His coming home is not the surprise, Shan Cai." Lei smiled but Shan Cai noticed how it never reached his eyes. "He's getting married."

"Dated? Jing and Tian Li dated?"  
  
Mei Zhou couldnt help but smile at his girl friend's incredulous reaction. She was so cute that Mei Zhou couldnt help leaning over and giving her a peck on the lips.  
  
Xiao Qiao glazed over for a second then she realized where they were. "Mei Zhou! You're driving!"  
  
"It's a red light," Mei Zhou explained but he couldnt help but wonder about his action though. He'd never been this affectionate to any of his past girlfriends. But then again, he's never been in love before.  
  
Love. This feeling was still all new to Mei Zhou. These past few months of dating Xiao Qiao were the best times he had with a girl and when he had thought about losing her to her 'cello boyfriend' he had been insanely jealous. Now, two weeks after finding out the truth about the cello, Mei Zhou was pleasantly happy. He knew he was in love, only problem now was how to express that to Xiao Qiao.  
  
Stealing a glance at her as he started the car forward again, Mei Zhou found Xiao Qiao deep in thought.  
  
"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked worriedly.  
  
Xiao Qiao turned to Mei Zhou and smiled, "Nothing, I'm just thinking about Tian Li."  
  
"Tian Li? Why are you thinking about Tian Li?"  
  
Xiao Qiao laughed at Mei Zhou's outburst. "Mei Zhou, I know F4 has issues with him but-"  
  
"We do not have issues with Ximen's brother," Mei Zhou corrected.  
  
Xiao Qiao smiled at her boy friend's silly face. "Oh yeah? Let me remind you. Let's start with Dao Ming Si. I remember him throwing a fit when Dao Ming Zhuang said Tian Li should be F4's fifth member and replace Ah Si as leader."  
  
"First of all, she was just teasing him. Second how did you even know that?"  
  
"Let's just say I'm very interested with F4 ever since," Xiao Qiao said smiling. "Anyway, back to F4's issues with Tian Li." Mei Zhou snorted but Xiao Qiao chose to ignore it. "Ximen couldnt deny there had always been sibling rivalry between him and Tian Li. People have always compared them in every way."  
  
"And Ximen's had always came better than him."  
  
Xiao Qiao shrugged. "And there's Lei. Everyone knew Tian Li's feelings for Teng Tang Jing. I never knew till today that Jing actually went out with him but I'm sure that created more tension between Lei and Tian Li."  
  
Reluctantly, Mei Zhou had to agree on that one. "Yeah. They started going out a year after you left. Jing was like Tian Li's first girlfriend and back then he was the only guy Jing ever dated seriously. They went out for three years! Before Jing never went out with anyone more than three times."  
  
At that moment, the two arrived at Ying estate. Xiao Qiao turned to Mei Zhou just as he stopped in front of the Victonian-style mansion. Xiao Qiao asked if Mei Zhou would like to come in for a while, Mei Zhou shook his head, saying it was okay they'll be seeing each other again early tomorrow anyway.  
  
"Then I'm going inside," Xiao Qiao said. Just as she turned the knob to stepped out of the car, Mei Zhou reached to grab her wrist.  
  
Xiao Qiao felt her breath mingling with that of Mei Zhou's. He was that close. . .  
  
"Xiao Qiao, I. . ."  
  
Xiao Qiao could feel her heart beating wildly. This was it. Mei Zhou was finally going to say the words she had been dreaming of him saying to her since they were twelve.  
  
"I. . . you. . . didnt tell me why you were thinking about Tian Li," Mei Zhou said instead, disappointing Xiao Qiao greatly.  
  
He was obviously jealous. Xiao Qiao felt a little pleased that she could make Mei Zhou feel this way, she thought it meant he must care too at least. That's why she had tried teasing him about her 'cello' before. But now Mei Zhou knew the truth about her feelings, couldnt he go and say what he was feeling as well?  
  
'Maybe his feelings arent as deep as I hope they are' Xiao Qiao thought sadly. Suddenly, feeling the tears forming at her eyes, Xioa Qiao lowered her head as she tried to free her wrist from Mei Zhou's grip.  
  
"I was just thinking how lucky Tian Li's fiancee is. He loved Teng Tang Jing very much, this girl who replaces Jing in his heart must be just as special to him or maybe even more."

Hua Zhe Lei watched the clock announced the hour of nine that night. Dao Ming Si and Shan Cai had long gone, saying they had to go and 'surprise' Mei Zhou and Ximen as well.  
  
Mei Zhou would be surprise for sure but Ximen had so many things in his mind right now that he wont probably concentrate on their return.  
  
After all, Tian Li was still Ximen's brother. He had been gone for almost seven years. Through out those seven years which he would call once in a while, every time just for holidays and such.  
  
Tian Li. Lei thought how much he used to see Tian Li as a rival. He and Jing had quite a history together.  
  
flashback  
  
"Eh Lei why do you look so strange?" a twelve-year old Dao MIng Si asked.  
  
Hua Zhe Lei didnt answer. He had just continued staring at the wall.  
  
"Eh Lei?" Dao Ming Si tried once more.  
  
"Ah Si, stop hounding Lei," Mei Zhou interjected. "Havent you heard the news about Jing and Tian Li?"  
  
"Eh, what news?"  
  
"They're been going out lately."  
  
"Going out? What's that?"  
  
Mei Zhou rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Are you twelve or are you two? Going out means they're dating," Mei Zhou said, emphasizing the word 'dating' lest Dao Ming Si still couldnt follow.  
  
"Mei Zhou, I didnt ask for your opinion."  
  
Mei Zhou just shrugged. He turned to Ximen and asked, "What do you know about this? Does Tian Li say anything at all?"  
  
It was Ximen's turn to shrug. "It's not like we're close, Mei Zhou. I didnt even know about this until I heard my mother asked Tian Li about it."  
  
Mei Zhou nodded. And F3 all turned to Lei. He was still sitting there like a statue. They could tell how Lei must be hurting. After all even at twelve, every one knew how much Teng Tang Jing meant to Lei.  
  
But even then, Dao Ming Si had a unique way of cheering up someone.  
  
"It's okay, Lei. If Jing likes Tian Li, then she must not have that much size than we originally thought."  
  
Mei Zhou erupted in laughter, Ximen, on the other hand, was a bit annnoyed.  
  
"Hey, he's still my brother, Ah Si! Besides, it's sense, you idiot! Sense, not size."  
  
Dao Ming Si glared at Ximen then. But even as a friendly fight started, Lei was oblivious to F3. All he had been thinking was Jing. Jing dating Tian Li.  
  
end of flashback  
  
For three years, Lei had to-do with being second to Tian Li. When he and Jing, started going out, he had always consoled himself that it might not last. That maybe next week or so, Jing would break-up with Tian Li.  
  
But the weeks had stretched to months and the months went on for years. Jing had continued seeing Tian Li that some people thought that the two might end up marrying each other after college.  
  
Finally that long awaited news Lei was hoping for came mid-January 1993.  
  
flashback  
  
"Eh, Ximen, I heard Jing broke up with Tian Li."  
  
Hua Zhe Lei, who was seated by the sideline while F3 played ball, suddenly perked up.  
  
"Oh yeah," Ximen answered Mei Zhou while he makes a jump for three. The ball hit nothing but net. Then he turned to Lei's direction, "Lei, did you hear? Jing broke off with my brother. I had meant to tell you guys."  
  
Dao Ming Si, taking the rebound asked, "What broke off?"  
  
Mei Zhou effortlessly stole the ball from Dao Ming Si's hands. "You really are a blockhead. Breaking up means Jing wont be seeing him anymore."  
  
Dao Ming Si growled, annoyed that Mei Zhou took his ball. "Mei Zhou, I didnt ask for your opinion!"  
  
Mei Zhou ignored him and just made an impressive lay-up. Ximen quickly high-fived Mei Zhou, Dao Ming Si on the other hand marched towards Lei.  
  
"I'm not playing anymore!" he announced. Sitting beside his best friend, he offered an encouraging smile, "Lei, Jing broke off with Tian Li, that means she wont be seeing him anymore."  
  
F2, who appeared behind Dao Ming Si, errupted in laughter, earning a death glare from their leader. But Hua Zhe Lei remained silent. But he, who was fifteen then, wouldnt deny how this news made him happier than he ever had in the last three years.  
  
end of flashback  
  
Lei thought back to all things that happened next. Just a little more than a week later later, news of Ximen Tian Li leaving home became talk of the town. Jing showed an almost flippant reaction to Tian Li's departure but there had been something in her looks that didnt escape Lei's observant eyes.

But Lei had been contented enough to have her by his side, to have her spend more time with him than any other men around. This small-found happiness Lei had quickly died down though only after a few months as this time around it was Jing's turn to say she was leaving.  
  
lashback  
  
"Lei, you knew I had been thinking of studying in France before, right?"  
  
A sudden pit formed in Lei's stomach. "Yes."  
  
Jing smiled. "Well, I've called Paris University and asked if I could apply again. They said I could still study there though I have to repeat my first year."  
  
Lei stared at Jing and wondered if Tian Li had anything to do with her decision. After all Jing had always wanted to study in France before she started going out with Tian Li. Dao Ming Si had even off-handedly commented that Jing probably changed her mind about France before since she didnt want to leave behind Tian Li.  
  
But now Tian Li was gone, was that the reason Jing wanted to leave too? Was France just an escape? But of course, Lei couldnt ask any of this to Jing. Partly he was scared of her answer, partly it must be that he was just plain coward. So like before, he had sat back and hid the misery he felt all to himself.  
  
end of flashback   
  
Until now, Lei never knew about what happened between Jing and Tian Li. He had long decided to forget about it all but Tian Li's surprise homecoming made Lei think about the past. . . and his past, every thing about it, had meant Jing. . .  
  
'Tian Li's finally coming home.' Lei thought as he watched the clock once more. In a few hours, Tian Li would land back in Taiwan.  
  
_'I wonder if this means you'll be coming back as well, Jing.'  
_

Next morning, Ximen stood at the arrival area of Tapei International Airport at exactly 10 AM. His brother had promised he'll be staying over at their home but Tian Li didnt know about their parent's divorce yet; and when he does, who knows what he'll do? Rather stay in a hotel? Run off again? That was why their mother begged Ximen to fetch his brother and explain the situation before hand.  
  
Of course, Ximen knew his brother resented their father, just like he used to before. But after finding out the truth about their parents, Ximen had found himself understanding his father at last. He wished his brother could do the same too.  
  
But then again, his brother's drift with their father wasnt probably the only reason he left home. For during that time too was when Jing finally called it quits with him. Tian Li probably wanted to escape Taiwan because of that too.  
  
Ximen frowned. His brother was getting married that means he's over Jing, right? Because even though he never showed as much closeness to Tian Li than he did to F3, Ximen still cared for his brother, so it would be hard to see Tian Li and Lei fighting over Jing again.  
  
Because eventhough Lei is still recovering from Shan Cai's rejection and say he no longer love Jing, he did loved her for almost 20 years, if Jing turned out to be his brother's mystery fiancee, it would be a big blow on Lei's soul.  
  
_'Please. Anyone but Jing, Tian Li.'  
_  
Just as that thought came to Ximen's mind, he spotted his brother. Of course, it was not hard to recognize him at once even after seven years, for his brother was like an older version of himself. The hair, the eyes, the facial features. . . all of it they both inherited from their father. But personality-wise though, the brothers were as different as night and day. His brother inherited their mother's artistic abilities and quiet nature, while Ximen took after their father's shrewd business mind and "playboy" ways. Anyone who didnt know better might even say it was Tian Li and Lei, not Tian Li and Ximen, are the siblings.  
  
Raising his hand to try to get his brother's attention, Ximen suddenly froze.  
  
_ 'That girl. . . it couldnt be. . .'  
_  
But it really was her. It was impossible not to recognize her fpr she looked just the same as before. The same hair though a lot longer, more mature. . . the same lips though they were smiling happily unlike its sad curves before. . .  
  
She had once called her pretty, but looking at her now, Ximen thought she wasnt just pretty. . . she was absolutely beautiful. . .  
  
With her face glowing like that. . . but suddenly her happy expression froze as her eyes connected with his. That was when Ximen realized the man beside her, holding her hand.  
  
Ximen could only stand there, unable to do anything as the couple came towards him.  
  
Finally reaching him, the man. . . Tian Li. . . his brother smiled at him.  
  
"It's been a while, little brother."  
  
Ximen nodded dumbly while the girl in his brother's arms offered a small smile of her own.  
  
Tian Li looked at the girl beside him and back to Ximen. "I know that you guys have met before, but let me introduce her again, Ximen." Pulling the girl closer to him, he continued, "Ximen meet Yang Xiao You, my fiancee."

AN: hope no one gets mad with the cliffhanger! this chap happens two weeks after that final episode of mg2. last chap actually happened 6 months ago, i hope no one gets confuse. pls review minna!


	3. Between Friends and Lovers

**piglet: **blush thank u for reading my fic again. Sorry if I made u wait long for the update.

Disclaimer: insert some really witty disclaimer here

Chapter 3: **Between Friends and Lovers**

Xiao You stood by the windows of new room, looking out to the beautiful gardens below.

Who would have ever thought she would be once more standing in Xi Men mansion, more than two years later, engaged? Not to the man she once bravely faced the last time she was there, but to his brother?

Her hand shaking uncontrollably, Xiao You pushed back the curtains further. She could almost see herself, two years younger running out of the mansion and stopping by the gardens for a while to catch her breath.

She had just came from telling Xi Men she wanted the whole service. . . so that he may like her. . . she was willing to learn everything. . .

Biting her lip, Xiao You stepped back from the windows.

Why was she here? Why did she let herself be persuaded into coming back to Taiwan?

She should have known that back here, painful memories would still be fresh and old wounds would still be raw. Here, where each sight, smell and sound were more vivid. . .

Closing her eyes, Xiao You thought back to that time a few days ago when her Tian Li asked her to come back to Taiwan.

"Get married in Taiwan? Why? Can't we hold the wedding here?"

Tian Li smiled in his special heart-warming way. Taking her hand, he cajoled, "Xiao You, I haven't been home in seven years. Besides, don't you miss Taiwan yourself? You kept telling me you miss your best friend. And I would really like to meet her too."

Xiao you did miss Shan Cai. But coming back would complicate a lot of things. Averting her eyes, Xiao You wished Tian Li couldn't read her mind.

But that was a futile wish, with one look at her, Tian Li always knew what she was thinking.

"Is it my brother?" he asked softly. "Are you scared of facing him?"

Turning her eyes back to him, Xiao You answered honestly. "No."

It was true, she was not scared of facing Xi Men, instead she was scared that memories of their own past loves could haunt and destroy their newfound happiness.

For within this mansions' walls, lived painful memories of her fiancée's past. As a young kid, unhappy memories of his parents' failing relationship. . . as a teen, pressures on inheriting his father's vast business empire. . . finally, as a young man, his heartbreak on his failed love. . .

"On my third birthday, I wished on my cake that my father would come home more often and we could eat dinner like those happy families I see on TV," Tian Li had said suddenly one day. They were watching some soap on TV when he suddenly spoke up that Xiao You became very surprised. Her fiancée had never talked about his family that much.

"For a time, I thought my wish came true because dad had always came home after but I soon realized it was only because of my mother's unexpected pregnancy. I asked my mom what it was and she explained to me that I would soon have a little brother. He was given the name Xi Men Zhong er Lang and I nicknamed him Ah Lang."

Xiao You had quickly felt uncomfortable when Tian Li mentioned his brother. Quite honestly, she rather that he never mentioned him but still she could feel how special Xi Men was to Tian Li.

"Ah Lang but everyone calls him Xi Men." Frowning Xiao You asked, "Tian Li, why is that people call Xi Men with your surname?"

Tian Li laughed as he pulled Xiao You closer to his side, Xiao You immediately buried her head deeper to the crook of his shoulder.

"Well you have Ah Si to blame for that."

"Ah Si? You mean Dao Ming Si? Why is that?"

Tian Li smiled as he lovingly let his fingers touch Xiao You's silken hair. "It was their first day of kindergarten, Ah Si had announced he's forming F4. He had looked around the room, picked Ah Lang, Mei Zhou and Lei and said from then on they are the four handsome heirs of their father's company. But what Ah Lang told Ah Si infuriated him, he explained that he was only 'second-born' thus he isn't his father's heir."

Xiao You laughed. "I would have loved to see Dao Ming Si's reaction."

"It was indeed priceless, later when Jing and I visited Ah Lang. Ah Si marched to me and demanded I give up my claim. Then I told him, I don't want it anyway so he calmed down a bit. But then he announced to everyone one from then on, I was no longer the heir of Xi Men Corporation. After, he strode to Ah Lang and gave him our surname to use, saying it'll remind everyone that he was now the heir."

"And then what? How did everyone reacted? How was F4 finally formed?"

"Well, Ah Lang was happy enough to oblige. He was five and thought that one-day life would be so cool to be the leader of a big company. It was Mei Zhou who had asked what F4 would be for? But after earning a death glare from Ah Si, he quickly quieted down. Everyone else in the room was just nodding. They were all still kids, probably thought it'll just be a game that Dao Ming Si master wanted to play. Only time had proved how serious Ah Si was."

Xiao You nodded. As much as she wanted to bury the memories of F4, she had to admit that tales about them were really worth listening for. "Hey wait! You forgot about Hua Zhe Lei. What did he say? Had he wanted to join at once?"

Something in Tian Li's eyes flashed. Looking away, he disengaged his arms from Xiao You. "Nothing. He was too busy with something else." Turning back to Xiao You with a small smile, he added, "You know what? That first day F4 was formed, it was also the first time Lei and Jing met."

Jing. . . actually she was whom Xiao You was most scared of. . . there was no doubt in her mind that she had fallen deeply in love with Tian Li and she was scared that his memories of Jing could tear the wonderful romance she shared with him. . .

Suddenly, the gentle rapping at the door brought Xiao You back to the present. Gathering herself, she opened her door.

She wished she didn't though.

It was too soon for her – she had planned to be alone with him after she had adjusted – but here he was, standing two feet away from her was Xi Men Zhong er Lang.

Forcing a smile, Xiao You asked. "Yes?"

"Um, I just wanted to tell you that I prepared a surprise party for Tian Li tonight. I decided to tell you now since I of course invited F3 and it seemed Shan Cai-"

"I understand," Xiao You said, cutting him off. "It's true, I haven't told Shan Cai yet. The past six months had been really hard on her and I didn't know how to tell her. But now I think I should or else, she'll be shrieking and scaring the other guests the whole night."

Xi Men smiled but he didn't say anything. He just continued standing there, staring at Xiao You that she felt uneasy.

"Is there something else?" she asked, wanting to hurry him up so she could close the door and stay as far away as possible from him.

"Huh? Oh yeah. . . I wanted to congratulate you on the engagement. . . my brother is a good man, he'll take care of you."

With one last small smile, Xi Men turned and walked away.

Xiao You stood on her spot, staring after Xi Men. He was her first true love and for the first time in months, Xiao You felt her heart tugging for him again.

Slowly, Xiao You closed her door. Leaning her back on the door, Xiao You thought how she didn't expect that memories of Xi Men could also threaten her newfound happiness.

But the memories. . . her heartbreak. . . they were all coming back to her with a force that scared her. . .

_ "I like you Xi Men." _

Those words from her heart were let out and were forever lost in the halls of Ying De University together with F4's famous playboy's callous reply.

"I like you too Xiao You. . . I could be a good lover for one week but what you need is a good man."

Hugging herself, Xiao You remembered the words Xi Men had just said.

_". . . my brother is a good man, he'll take care of you."_

"You were right Xi Men, what I need is a good man. And truthfully, you're brother is a good man. Too bad though that you'll never know much I used to wish you were my good man."

"Ok. See you later then."

With that Shan cai hang up her phone. Turning back to Dao Ming Si, she explained. "It was Xiao You. Apparently, she's Tian Li's fiancée."

"Sure, I heard," Dao Ming Si said as he shoved another forkful of Italian pasta that he cooked himself into his mouth. "Everyone heard you. Ye Sha back in Bu Dan probably heard you."

When her boyfriend first opened his mouth, she wanted to retort but the mention of Ye Sha's name stopped her.

Ever since their reunion, Dao Ming Si's issue with Ye Sha had not been opened. Yesterday, she and Dao Ming Si briefly talked about Lei and Dao Ming Si didn't seemed affected at all.

Of course, that meant she shouldn't as well be affected by her boy friend's casual mention of his ex-fiancée, right?

But sitting on this table. . . to be here in the balcony of the apartment Dao Ming Si once shared with Ye Sha, Shan Cai couldn't help thinking of the past 'Ah Xing' shared with Ye Sha.

Her thoughts instantly disappeared though as her taste buds gloried on the food Dao Ming Si prepared for their lunch.

"Wow. This is delicious. How did you learn to cook like this?"

Dao Ming Si smiled. "Da Xin taught me."

"Da Xin? Oh the man from the breakfast café?"

"Yeah," he answered. Refilling his glass of juice, he continued. "See, I wanted to do something special for Ye Sha last Valentines so Da Xin, Ah Lun and Yi Ling suggested that I make her dinner."

"Oh."

With those words, Shan Cai pushed her plate of pasta away. She was actually ravenous but the information about Dao Ming Si learning to cook the pasta to please Ye Sha ruined her appetite. A deep pit formed at her stomach.

Her action didn't escape Dao Ming Si's eyes. 'Ah Xing' thought him a bit about sensitivity.

He smiled at her amusedly, "Stupid woman, why is your face so ugly? Don't tell me you're jealous."

Shan Cai's head turned to him so fast she was surprised she didn't break it. She glared at him, refuting he actually learned something about sensitivity.

"Pig head! Who are you calling jealous? Moreover, why should I be-"

Shan Cai never finished what she wanted to say as Dao Ming Si suddenly leaned over and gave her a quick kiss.

As Dao Ming Si pulled away, Shan Cai stared at his amused face, annoyed that ever since that day in St. Pons Church, he found an effective way of silencing her.

But if he thought that short kiss could distract her, he was dead wrong. And as she opened her mouth, he went right on.

"I love you."

He said that in a simple and direct way but still Shan Cai could feel the corners of her mouth tugging into a smile. Dao Ming Si loves her, chose her, gave up his master's title for her, was there really a need to be jealous?

Ducking her head shyly and pretending not to notice his expectant look, Shan Cai slowly took a bite from her food. He was smiling sweetly, dimple perpetually appealing.

_ Annoying smile. . . annoying dimple. . ._

Then as she watched amusedly, as Dao Ming Si realizedg she wasn't planning to speak soon, his smile slowly faded.

_ . . . annoying pout. . . annoying pig head. . ._

Dao Ming Si opened his mouth but before he could whine, it was Shan Cai's turn to cut him off.

"Pig head. I love you too."

"Maybe we should get you to a hospital."

"Mei Zhou, don't be ridiculous. Cramps are normal for girls. Didn't any of your past 100 girlfriends ever tell you that before?"

Turning away from Mei Zhou after she said that, he noticed the strange tone in her voice.

And he had enough girlfriends before to know what it was.

Xiao Qiao was jealous – probably even annoyed.

But didn't she know that not one of his past girlfriends could hold a candle against her? Not Lulu, not Gina and not even Senda Aisha who was the first girl he ever had came close to liking.

As Mei Zhou wondered how to take away her insecurity, he saw Xiao Qiao pulling her falling nightie strap up. Suddenly, he realized that it could possibly _that _that was annoying Xiao Qiao.

For a while ago, he had crept into her room, hoping to surprise her. The surprise turned out on him as she caught Xiao Qiao sitting on her bed, still in her nightclothes at two in the afternoon.

She had quickly dropped her book. Her face turning a beautiful shade of crimson, she hauled her blankets up and hugged them to her chest.

"Sorry."

Relenting, Xiao Qiao turned to Mei Zhou. "Sorry for what?"

"For whatever I did to make you angry."

A small smile finally graced Xiao Qiao's face and Mei Zhou was pleasantly reminded of the time Xiao Qiao first smiled at him.

For after finding out Xiao Qiao was way back from his childhood, Mei Zhou had spent many an hour during the night, thinking back to those early time. He didn't have that good of a memory but he was pleased that at least he could recall some important times like that first time he ever saw her.

It was on Xi Men's ninth birthday, Dao Ming Si had been fooled around and his some of the girls' bags. Xiao Qiao had been one of Dao Ming Si's childhood pranks and she had frantic searching for her bag. After watching her for some time, Mei Zhou finally pitied her enough and returned her bag.

"Thank you," she said, bowing lightly at him. Back then, he didn't care how she smiled happily at him.

But now, to bring smile on Xiao Qiao's face has been the very meaning for his existence. To have her smile at him happily was what completes his days.

"You're not mad anymore?"

"I'm really not mad anyway. I'm just a little cranky, I guess." Smiling teasingly at him, she continued, "Your girlfriends also didn't tell you that girls are a bit cranky on their time of the month?"

Mei Zhou returned her smile. "I thought girls are naturally cranky," he said in mocked seriousness.

"Mei Zhou!" Xiao Qiao said, hitting his shoulder playfully.

Mei Zhou laughed. "Ok ok." Then stealing a glance at his watch, he asked her, "So I'll pick you up at seven tonight?"

Xiao Qiao's face turned apologetic. "I'm sorry, Mei Zhou but I'm afraid my cramps wouldn't let me." Leaning over and giving him a kiss on the cheek, she told him, "Go on ahead and enjoy yourself without me?"

Mei Zhou's eyes widened with surprise. Was she joking? How could he enjoy anything without her now? It was bad enough that they couldn't be together 24/7, now he can't even see her tonight?

Pouting, he asked hopefully, "Well, if I heal your cramps, would you promise to go with me?"

Shrugging, Xiao Qiao agreed.

"Fine."

With that Mei Zhou grinned wickedly. "I remember something from school that said heat helps with cramps," he whispered to her ear.

Slowly Mei Zhou let his lips travel from her temple to her lips. When finally his mouth claimed hers, he reached out to touch the curve of her neck. Then expertly parting her lips under his, Mei Zhou deepened the kiss as his hand slid along Xiao Qiao's shoulder.

Just then, their moment was broken as Xiao Qiao pulled away.

They stared at each other, their heart pounding, their breathing heavy. Finally, Xiao Qiao turned away, pulling her nightie's strap up.

A stab of guilt then overwhelmed Mei Zhou, realizing he had just treated Xiao Qiao the way he would treat all of his other girls. Getting intimate without making his feelings clear. He didn't have any feelings for any of those girls before but Xiao Qiao was different. He loved her, she deserved better than this. . .

"Xiao Qiao."

"It's okay, Mei Zhou," Xiao Qiao said without turning back to him. "I really want to rest now."

Mei Zhou nodded, feeling guiltier as he could sense how upset she was. Getting on his feet, he stole one more look at his girlfriend before walking towards the door. Midway, he stopped as Xiao Qiao called out to him.

"Mei Zhou, seven o'clock would be too early. Rather pick me up at eight. Don't be late."

"Pretending. He's obviously pretending to be happy."

Shan Cai looked up questioningly at her boyfriend. "Whose he? Don't tell me you're talking about Tian Li. I think he really does love Xiao You."

Dao Ming Si sighed exasperatedly, "I'm not talking about Tian Li." Motioning towards where Xi Men was standing moodily at the side, he added, "I'm talking about Xi Men."

Dao Ming Si watched Shan Cai's eyes widen in surprise to see Xi Men's cloudy expression. He was intently staring at the dance floor, where his brother and Xiao You were pressed intimately, their bodies moving slowly in time with the music.

"I think he's jealous," Shan Cai said, amaze and at the same time amuse. "I've always thought Xiao You meant something to him but he's too stubborn to admit his feelings."

"Hmm, that reminds me of someone," Dao Ming Si said, staring pointedly at Shan cai.

His girlfriend glared at him and continued, "Anyway, now she's engaged, there's no way of denying his feelings anymore.

"Definitely reminds me of someone," Dao Ming Si teased. Smiling sweetly, he put a hand on Shan Cai's waist, "What was it you said you felt when I was engaged with Xiao Zi?"

Shan Cai stared angrily at him for a second before she smiled sweetly. "You're one to talk. Jealousy is a very common emotion for you?"

Dao Ming Si opened his mouth to defend himself but no words came out. Shan Cai smiled triumphantly.

Staring down at Shan Cai, Dao Ming Si wondered not for the first time how this woman could have so much hold on him. Was it her cute angry expression? Her annoying stubborn personality? Her sweet gentle smiles? Her never faltering courage?

Relenting, he smiled at her, knowing he just loved her. That was that simple. He loved her and nothing can change that.

"Well, I am F4's leader," Dao Ming Si said, playing along. "How else do you think Mei Zhou would get jealous with a cello? Because of me, he got the idea of love equals jealousy."

Shan Cai blushed lightly at the indirect meaning of his words. "Pig head," she muttered under her breath, turning away for a second. Then catching sight of another member of the pig head 4, she turned to Dao Ming Si and sighed.

"Now, you go and teach Xi Men the same thing. Teach him that idea of yours and make him realize his feelings before it's too late."

Xi Men cursed the damn band as they started once more slow song. His eyes darkening more each millisecond, he watched as his brother pulled Xiao You closer to himself. Not even a molecule of oxygen could be squeezed in between their pressed bodies.

Engaged or not, Tian Li should know better than grope a girl like that. Especially a girl like Xiao You, she was a girl to be respected with high reverence.

But as he continued to watch on, he realized Xiao You didn't seem too unhappy with her situation either. Instead, she looked blissfully contented and serenely happy.

That thought suddenly darkened Xi Men's eyes even more. He could feel Shan Cai and Dao Ming Si's curious eyes on him.

For sure, they were thinking he was jealous.

Jealous? Ridiculous.

True, there was some tightening in his stomach but he had come from an operation not that long ago, right? Just because he felt sick in his guts doesn't mean he was jealous right?

Just like those old cartoons, Xi Men could almost see a little devil landing on his left shoulder. But instead of looking like him, the little devil looked a lot like Dao Ming Si.

_"If you're really just sick, it's weird that it started right after your brother told you Xiao You is his fiancée."_

Another devil landed on his shoulder. It was a miniature devil Shan Cai.

_ "So maybe you really are jealous."_

Annoyed that Dao Ming Si and Shan Cai could be across the room and already get into his case, Xi Men literally dusted off his left shoulder. He glared at Dao Ming Si and Shan Cai, who were both standing by the buffet. They eyes widen in confusion.

Xi Men sighed and turned away. He was crazy; no doubt that was what Dao Ming Si and Shan Cai probably thought of him now that he glared at them without any logical reasons.

But truthfully, he wasn't jealous, right? He was just. . . uncomfortable. Right. He was a bit uncomfortable.

After all he was really in some awkward situation. How many guys can claim after rejecting a girl, she comes back engaged to his brother?

Xi Men sighed. It really was ironic. He had spent great deals to make sure he never get involve with girls from Ying De because as he said before, they were too near and it would be a lot of trouble. He also told Xiao You he couldn't date her since she was Shan Cai's friend and that would be even more trouble. Now, not only was Xiao You Shan Cai's friend, she was also her brother's future wife.

Future wife. Another set of weird feelings assaulted Xi Men's stomach.

Jealous. . . he couldn't really be jealous, right? He was Xi Men Zhong er Lang and Xiao You was just a friend to him.

True, maybe for a time he felt bad when she first left. He would admit that he had missed her, but he had resolved that it was probably just a phase he had went thru.

After all, Xiao You was the first girl who had told him she liked him. Okay, maybe not the first. She was the first of many firsts but the point was when she told him those words, her voice had been sincere and her heart was in her eyes.

Flattery. He had brushed his unusual feelings when Xiao You left was as flattery. It was just a phase he had to go through before.

"Just a phase," Xi Men repeated out loud as he watched his brother bend his head lower to whisper into Xiao You's ear.

Xiao You. . . he once told Lei, she was to him as Ching Her was to Shan Cai, they would be better off as friends. He didn't need a permanent girl in his life and Xiao You needed a good man. . . and his brother was a good man. . .

He should be happy. . . that's right. Happy. He should be happy for his brother. . . happy for Xiao You. . .

But as his brother leaned over and pressed a kiss to Xiao You's lips, Xi Men knew he was not one bit happy at all.

Xi Men Tian Li pulled back after giving Xiao You a kiss to stare down at her fresh innocent face. His heart was beating steadily inside his rib cage and he felt happier than he ever had been in years.

He had never really known how wonderful love could actually be. His first love had left him broken hearted in more ways than he could count but Xiao You showed him a whole new meaning not just to the word love but happiness as well.

In two months, he and Xiao You would be exchanging their vows on the altar. But before staring their new future together, Tian Li knew he had to close that one chapter in his life he had left unfinished.

"I'm leaving Jing to pursue my own dreams. One day, I know you'll leave to pursue yours too. But when the time comes that both of us would have to come back, I hope we could both say we're happy."

Those were his last words to his first love – Teng Tang Jing before he left. Unknown to everyone, his relationship with her had been far more complex and at the same time far deeper.

He had wanted to come back to Taiwan to accept everything from the past. His seven years of running away was over. To be able to finally move on with his life, he needed to face the one thing he had been escaping from all these years.

Smiling at Xiao You he whispered, "I need to talk to someone for a while."

Xiao You stared at him, trying to read behind his impassive eyes. After a while, she nodded in understanding.

"Okay. I'll just be over at Shan Cai and Dao Ming Si."

With that, Xiao You walked to the direction of the buffet. Tian Li stood there for a moment, watching his fiancée before finally walking towards one corner of the party area.

"Lei?"

Just as he remembered him from before, Hua Zhe Lei showed no sign of surprise on his face. Tian Li smiled. Contrary to what everyone else might believe, he actually likes Hua Zhe Lei a lot. Jealous of him for many years, yes; but throughout those years, he truthfully liked him just as if he was his brother.

Lowering his voice, knowing everyone's eyes were on them, he went on "I wanted to ask you for a favor. . . could you possibly tell me how to contact Jing in Paris?"

AN: Sorry for the late update, min'na. I was a bit depressed. My computer crashed and all of my jerry's pictures were erased. It's so sad, I know, I've been so used to staring at his pictures every night for the last year that I had been lethargic for days, anyways, I still haven't recovered so forgive me if this chap turned out to be a disappointment. sigh oh well. . .

Next chapter: The woman Shan Cai once envied returns home and just as Xi Men faces Xiao You, the woman he had rejected before, Jing must now face Tian Li, the man she had hurt years ago. Between confused emotions and jealous hearts, where would Hua Zhe Lei fit in? Find out in Chapter 4: **Between Then and Now**.

Oh, sorry too if I didn't start with the part I had ended chap 2. I'm afraid I'm that kind of writer. I leave some things for the readers to fill up. Anyways, I think even if it's this way, the story is still understandable, right? And sorry if I had taken libetries in telling the story about how F4 was formed and about Xi Men's name. well, it's writer's prerogative, right? Oh well that's it, xie xie for reading this far. Please leave a review and see you for the next installment(probably in a week or two).


	4. Between Then and Now

**piglet:** ah yes, thank u for pointing that out. In chap 1, it was okay since there was only one pov. When I did chap two, I used double-spaced but it didn't work so in chap 3, I used but for some reason, that didn't work either. Oh well, hope this time the ---- works. :p Anyways about lei, jing and tian li? I wont spoil it for you, but the secrets of their pasts would only be let out little by little. Hope that'll be okay with you.   
  
**Serenity's Angel in Heaven:** hi! Tnx for reviewing this fic too. Hey have I told you that I really like your username? Hehe, it's really cute. Anyways, could you possibly tell me my mistakes? I'm not Chinese, I'm Filipino and 1/16th Spanish so you see I really don't know what was wrong in their names. Though I know I wrote Ching Her's name wrong, I think it should be Qing He but in my country, we were used with the 'ching her.' Anyways please point it out to me and I'll be happy to change it.  
  
**Disclaimer:** Neither Meteor Garden nor Hana Yori Dango belongs to me. If they were mine, I'll be soooo rich, I can stalk jerry yan all my days rather than be sitting through boring lectures at school. :D  
  
Chapter Four: **Between Then and Now  
**  
"You look like hell, Xi Men."

The dark circles under his eyes and their red-shoot color were dead give-away of his sleepless night. And to think it has only been the first night since the shocking news of his brother's engagement, he could not even think what he'd look like after a week.

Groaning, Xi Men turned away from the mirror.

Here he was, dressed completely for work at five thirty in the morning. The servants don't even get up until six! But Xi Men knew he would go crazy if he had continued laying on his bed thinking about Xiao You for even another second.

Xiao You. During his long sleepless night, memories of their short acquaintance had come to haunt him.

How extravagant yet cute she seemed the first time he saw her at Jing's party. . . how sad yet lovely she appeared when he saw her crying and squatting by the street. . . how brave and pretty she looked when she had came to tell him she liked him. . . finally how happy and beautiful she was standing beside his brother. . .

After much denial, Xi Men was almost about ready to admit feelings of jealousy for her engagement with his brother. Almost. . . he was not quite over the edge. . . but he sure was getting there. . .

Sighing, Xi Men walked out of his room. Taking his time with the stairs, he decided to get himself a cup of coffee before going to work. After all, if he leaves now, he'll probably end up opening the building himself.

On his way to the kitchen, Xi Men was surprised to see the French doors leading to the indoor pool slightly open. Frowning in confusion, he walked towards it.

Suddenly he stopped as he came face to face with Xiao You.

A very wet Xiao You. . .

Xi Men swallowed hard. Xiao You's long hair was pasted all over her forehead, neck and shoulders.

Also, through she had on a white robe, she had not bothered tying it in the middle thus giving Xi Men a pretty good view of the creamy white skin of her bare midriff and legs.

Jeez. For a girl her height, Xiao You had legs that went on forever.

"Xiao You," Xi Men said, his voice coming out an octave lower.

"Xi Men."

Turning her eyes awkwardly away, Xiao You quickly did the tie on her waist. Xi Men sighed, feeling both relieved and disappointed.

Then Xiao You turned back to him and they a long pregnant silence soon followed.

_Say something, Xi Men_, his mind shouted out at him.

"What are you doing so early in the morning?" He and Xiao You asked at the same time.

They stared at each other in surprise for about three seconds before breaking out in laughter.

"No really," Xi Men finally asked after his laughter subsided. "Why are you up so early? Couldn't sleep?"

Xiao You turned away slightly before answering. "Yeah. . . jet lag, I guess." Finally she turned back to Xi Men and for the first time since she came back smiled with genuine warmth. "I woke up about an hour ago and I couldn't fall back sleep. Since I'm no longer accustomed to Taiwan's weather, I feel so hot so I decided to swim a little to refresh myself." Xiao You examined Xi Men from his polished shoes to his perfectly combed hair. "You're not going to the office this early, are you?"

"Actually, I had a bit of a hard time falling asleep."

_Oops. Did I just say that? What if she misunderstands? _

"Anyway," Xi Men continued, quickly changing the subject. "I'm making some coffee, want some?"

Xiao You shook her head. "No, that's okay. I'm making breakfast myself." The two started towards the kitchen. "You want some?"

Xi Men was pleasantly surprised at her offer. He was afraid the awkwardness between them would get in the way of their new relationship.

As to what exactly their relationship was, he'll go figure out later.

"Really? You'd make me some?"

Xiao You shrugged. "Sure why not?" She stopped, letting Xi Men pushed the kitchen's double doors for her. Walking in first, she added. "I'm making myself and your brother anyway."

The smile that was in Xi Men's face froze. Of course, she wasn't doing this for him. She was doing it for his brother.

Of course, their relationship was like that from now on. She was to be his sister-in-law, and this is how sisters-in-law are.

He watched in nagging disappointment as Xiao You make her way around the kitchen. Finally shrugging off his disappointment, he pasted on a cheerful smile. "No, that's okay. The coffee will be enough for me."

Xiao You looked up from making a freshly squeezed orange juice to Xi Men. "You know, no wonder you got those holes in your stomach. Don't you know breakfast is the most important meal of the day?"

In spite of himself, Xi Men found himself smiling inwardly. Xiao You would make a wonderful mother one day.

Moving on to making some toast, Xiao You added, "Your brother's just the same. If I'm not there, he'll never eat breakfast as well."

Xi Men nodded absentmindedly as he watched Xiao You set to make some blueberry pancakes. Something in her words bothered him.  
  
_ . . .If I'm not there, he'll never eat breakfast as well. . .  
_  
_What does that mean? Of course she can make breakfast for him now since they're living in the same house but does that mean they've been living together before?  
_

Xi Men's eyes went wide as saucers. Were Tian Li and Xiao You living together even before? Do they have that kind of relationship?

Walking to where she stood, Xi Men tried to open his mouth but no words came out. Xiao You glanced up at him.

"What? What is it?"

Xi Men swallowed. How could he ask this? But the curiosity was killing him.

"Um. . . so you made breakfast for Tian Li before?" he asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

Xiao You nodded without looking at him.

"Okay. . . does that mean you guys. . . I mean. . . "

Xiao You looked up at Xi Men in confusion. Then seeing the questioning look in his eyes, she lightly hit him in his chest.

"Mind off the gutter, Xi Men," she said, turning back to making pancakes.

The obvious blush on her cheeks indicated that she and Tian Li don't have that kind of intimacy. Xi Men couldn't help feeling greatly relieved.

A small smile on his lips, Xi Men lied, "I wasn't thinking anything."

He watched as Xiao You roll her eyes but she didn't say anything. They stood there in silence as Xiao You finished up the pancakes.

After setting up the tray of food for Tian Li and herself, Xiao You proceeded in placing a toast and some pancakes in the counter. Taking the tray in her arms, she turned to Xi Men.

"Could you make your coffee yourself? I need to bring this up to Tian Li before he wakes up."

Xi Men nodded. "It's okay, thank you." Xiao You nodded and turned to walk out. At the doorway, Xi Men called after her, she turned back to him expectantly.

Looking at her eyes, Xi Men asked, "Xiao You, what are we?" The surprised look on Xiao You's eyes made Xi Men quickly add, "I mean I know you'll be my um sister-in-law soon but what are we right now?"

Xiao You didn't say anything for a while. She stared thoughtfully back at Xi Men. Finally she smiled lightly. "Friends."

"Friends?"

"Of course. What else could we be?" With that she turned away and walked out.

Xi Men smiled sadly down at his pancakes. Xiao You made him two pancakes while she did three for his brother.

"Friends. . . Right. What else could we be?"

_-------------------_

_ ". . . when you can't stop your tears from flowing out, then you can do a handstand. That way, the tears that wanted to flow out; will not be able to."  
_

With that, Teng Tang Jing's eyes slowly fluttered open. Memories from long ago drifted back into the past and a smiling five-year old boy's face faded as her vision was filled with the image of her ceiling.

Bringing a hand to her face, Jing was not surprised to touch wet tears there. For the past six months, tears seemed to be always ready to come to her eyes.

Before when she was very young, she had been actually a crybaby too until a wonderful boy came along and taught her the 'handstand.' The tears had stopped coming then, not as much as because of the handstand, but more because how infectious and catching his sweet smiles were.

Slowly getting out of bed, Jing walked over to her windows and looked out. It was barely dawn in the city of Paris.

_"At dawn, all the angels would go and pay their respects to God. If at this time, you can set fireworks and call out to them then the wishes that you make will be especially easy to come true."  
_

Another smile. People used to say Xi Men Tian Li reserved his best smile for Teng Tang Jing alone but she never did notice, always thinking Tian Li's smiles were nothing more than genuine friendship.

If maybe she had known then of the truth behind Tian Li's smiles, then maybe she could just have returned his feelings and avoided what seemed to been inevitable.

But she hadn't known. That's why when four cute little kids came along; she got distracted away from her best friend.

F4. They were adorable now. They had been adorable then too.

There was Dao Ming Si. Even at five, he was overwhelming. His 'I-am- perfect' narcissistic ideas had attracted little girls and older girls alike.

Then there was Ling Mei Zhou. He too had always been as lively and energetic as he was now. Girls of all ages were all too fond of him because of his fun personality.

Of course there was Xi Men Zhong er Lang as well. With baby teeth and all, he knew how to make girl's heart flutter. He had his brother's smile after all – heart melting and oh-so-sweet.

Finally there was Hua Zhe Lei. He was such a strange kid, always so quiet and melancholy. Yet his mysterious aura drew many girls to him.

And Jing admitted she was one of them.

At first it was just a longing to bring a smile to his always sad face. Just as Tian Li had brought smiles to her face, Jing had wanted to be the one to bring smile in Lei's face.

But through the years, her infatuation with Lei had grown stronger and stronger. Too late she had realized the extent of her fascination for the quiet F4 member, she had already hurt her best friend.

Clutching the drapes, Jing bit her lip. She had never known just how much she had hurt Tian Li until six months ago when it was Lei's turn to reject her. . .

Closing her eyes, Jing thought back to the message on her answering machine hours ago. It was from Tian Li.

_ ". . . I'm getting married. . . I really wish you could be there, Jing. . ." _

She had not expected a call from Tian Li after such a long time. Even more, she had not expected to get a call from him saying he was getting married.

Tian Li wanted her to be at his wedding but could she really have to courage to go? Go and face not only Tian Li, but his fiancée as well? There's also her parents. . . F4. . . Shan Cai. . . Lei. . .

_". . . I'm getting married. . . I really wish you could be there, Jing. . ."  
_

Opening her eyes, Jing decided then. Forget about her pride. Forget about Lei. It was time she put the man, who gave her more than he gave himself, first. . . the man she had adored best of all. . . her best friend. . . Xi Men Tian Li.  
  
----------------

"So how come you never called me about this before?"

Shan Cai watched as Xiao You let out a deep sigh.

The two of them were sitting by Xiao You's bed, unpacking her luggage. Shan Cai had arrived at the mansion about ten minutes earlier and they had been having small talk ever since. But now Shan Cai decided it was time to get to business, she was ready with her interrogation.

"So I'm waiting," Shan Cai added when Xiao You failed to answer her question.

Heaving another sigh, Xiao You finally turned to Shan Cai's way. Smiling apologetically, she began.

"Shan Cai, don't be mad, okay? It's just that every time I would call to tell you about it that time, you always seemed so far away. You wouldn't tell me what it was bothering you that finally I had to resort to asking Qing He."

Shaking her head, Xiao You continued her story. "Of course, he misunderstood my intentions at first. He kept telling me that he can't return my feelings especially that time when you needed him the most. Then without meaning to, he had let out the fact that Dao Ming Si had lost his memories and gone missing."

At the mention of that lonely time when Dao Ming Si was missing caused a sudden prick of pain in Shan Cai's heart. The feeling quickly disappeared though, knowing that was all in the past.

Reaching over, Xiao You took Shan Cai's hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. "I just didn't know how to tell you my good news when you were going through such hard time."

Examining her friend's expression, Shan Cai asked slowly. "So you're really happy? You're really in love with Tian Li?"

Sighing, Xiao You pulled her hand away.

"Shan Cai-"

"I'm just asking," Shan Cai quickly added. "I mean after all you even asked me about Xi Men not more than four. . . five months ago?"

Xiao You remained quiet, instead she took out a framed picture of her and Tian Li from her luggage. Still staring at the picture, she began her story.

"I meet Tian Li exactly six months and 22 days ago. It was for an art exhibit and I noticed one of his portraits and we got to talk a little. Then before I knew it, he was asking me to lunch and I just found myself saying yes. But then I was completely shocked when he gave me his name. I didn't even have to ask, it was so obvious that he was Xi Men's brother."

"But a lunch is just a lunch, I thought. . . but it didn't turn out that way. I found him so interesting and by the time the lunch was over, I realized just how nice he was. He asked me for another date and I said yes. We went out to one fun date after another fun date, and before we knew it, we've dating for almost two months already. If we wanted to really have a serious relationship, I knew I had to tell him the truth." Turning to Shan Cai, Xiao You smiled. "That time I asked you about Xi Men, it was the day before I told Tian Li the truth."

"What was his reaction?" Shan Cai asked when Xiao You suddenly stopped telling her story.

"Well, of course he was shocked at first then he understood as to why I knew Jing. Then with some hesitation he told me about himself as well. About wanting to pursue his own dreams. About feeling very sad for his parent's situation and about. . . Jing."

Placing the picture frame down on her nightstand, Xiao You continued. "The truth could sometimes be hard to face but by being honest with each other, my and Tian Li's relationship became deeper. We continued dating and then finally last week, he asked me to marry him. I accepted of course that's why here we are now." Xiao You finished her story with a sweet smile.

Shan Cai nodded. She could see that Xiao You was truly very taken with Tian Li and she was willing to support her one hundred per cent but she had to know first if Xiao You was completely over Xi Men. Because Xiao You shouldn't marry Tian Li if she even have the slightest feelings left for Xi Men.

Trying to sound casual, Shan Cai asked, "So how's the situation between you and Xi Men?"

Warily, Xiao You turned her question, "What do you mean?"

Shan Cai shrugged. "It's just that Dao Ming Si, this pig head noticed something weird in Xi Men last night. He told me about it and I realized he was right."

"About what?"

"That Xi Men is jealous."

With that Xiao You's face took on complete surprise. For a hundredth of a second, Shan Cai thought she saw a spark of soft hope in Xiao You's eyes.

"You see," Shan Cai went on. "I was surprised myself. After all, I had been against the idea of the two of you from the very start but you know what? He's changed after you left, Xiao You. He's no longer the playboy Xi Men from three years ago. I think deep down, he actually likes you. Why a few months back when I told him about you asking him, he smiled and-"

"Shan Cai, don't," Xiao You interjected. "Please."

"Xiao You. . . "

"We're actually having a good new start now. Just this morning, we were laughing together. The awkwardness between us has died down a little." Getting up from the bed, Xiao You walked to the windows. Without looking at Shan Cai, she continued softly, "I like just being friends with him now. I'm happy with it." Turning back to Shan Cai, she stared directly at her. "I'm happy Shan Cai. I love Tian Li and I'm happy. I really am."

I wonder if you're trying to convince me or yourself, Xiao You? Shan Cai wanted to ask her friend but decided to keep it to herself instead.

Watching Xiao You turned back out to the windows once more, Shan Cai decided Xiao You was in denial just like Xi Men.

But they needed to face the truth. That was what Shan Cai had learned best in her whirlwind romance with Dao Ming Si. Before she didn't want to admit that she was actually in love with him, and it only brought more heartache for her.

Shan Cai knew Xiao You had already gone through a lot, that's why she didn't want her to suffer anymore. She desperately wanted to help her friend but Xiao You was absolutely unwilling to cooperate.

Biting her lip, Shan Cai made her mind. Since Xiao You wouldn't budge, she should resort to other ways.

Fingering her meteor ring, Shan Cai decided to talk Dao Ming Si later. They needed to talk. They needed a plan.

And Shan Cai knew just what the perfect plan was. Just as Dao Ming Si's persistence finally made Shan Cai admit her feelings. They needed to push Xi Men to pursue his own happiness as well.

Problem was just how do you break through Xi Men's stubborn wall?

--------------

The next morning, Xiao You was up early once more. She woke up around five and after swimming for more than half an hour she decided she had enough; she was so distracted anyway.

Toweling off slowly, she thought back to the words Shan Cai told her yesterday.

It wasn't possible, right? Xi Men couldn't possibly be jealous, right? He had made it very clear before, he only saw her as a friend and nothing more.

Putting on her robe, Xiao You sighed. Why was she thinking about this anyway? She had been like this ever since Shan Cai pointed out those things about Xi Men changing after she left. . .  
__

_ Stop it, Xiao You!  
_

Sighing, Xiao You knew it was no use though. She had liked Xi Men for so long that maybe the thought that he actually feel the same way was making her think of 'what ifs' and 'what could haves?'

But she was engaged now. To Xi Men's brother no less! She had to stop thinking about the past and concentrate instead of the present and future.  
__

_ Two months, Xiao You. After two months, you'll be married to the man you love and can forever leave the past behind. As for now, just try not to let the past get to you so much. There's no use of asking those questions anyway.  
_

Shrugging off thoughts of Xi Men and Shan Cai's suggestive words, Xiao You proceeded towards the kitchen. It was time to make breakfast for her fiancée.

But as she opened the kitchen doors, Xiao You's heart did a stop.

"Hey! You're here, took you long enough."

Xiao You stared at him. "Xi Men, why are you up so early? And what are those?"

Xi Men smiled widely, proudly. "This is breakfast. I made breakfast for you. . . to thank you for yesterday."

Xiao You walked up and stood next to him. The counter was filled with all kinds of breakfast dishes. Pancakes. Bacons. Toasts. Cereals. Eggs. Everything.

"You did all of these?" she asked incredulously.

Xi Men's smile went up another notch. "Yeah." Dropping his voice secretively, he added. "But please don't tell anyone, okay? Ah Si is actually proud he learned how to make fried eggs now but I don't want anyone to know I'm a bit of a chef myself."

Xiao You smiled. Xi Men Zhong er Lang, playboy extraordinaire a chef? There really was a lot she didn't know about him.

"Why not? Some girls think it's a plus point for guys to know how to cook," she asked, pouring herself a glass of milk.

Very softly, Xi Men's voice came to ask. "Are you one of those girls?"

Confused at his tone, Xiao You turned to him. "Huh?"

Xi Men stepped closer to Xiao You, leaving about three inches of space between their bodies. For some reason, Xiao You felt her heart began to pound harder and her breathing shallower.

"Do you like guys who can cook?" Xi Men asked, staring directly at Xiao You's eyes.

For a moment, Xiao You couldn't speak. Why was Xi Men standing so close to her? Why was he staring at her eyes like that? Why was she feeling this way?

Xiao You's hand tightened around her glass and suddenly she was jolted from her trance. The pain caused by the pressure of her engagement ring of her left fourth finger, snapped her just in time.

Taking a step back, Xiao You answered as if nothing happened. "I guess it's nice." She smiled slightly at Xi Men. "Your brother is a great cook. He would sometimes make dinner for us himself. See, how fat I'm becoming?"

Xi Men smiled lightly. "You're not fat, Xiao You," he took a step away too. "You're perfect," he added, barely in a whisper.

But Xiao You heard him perfectly. And once more her heart began to pound once more. She stole a glance at Xi Men and wondered what he was thinking?

Was he just flirting? Or could it really be possible that he felt something for her?

Xiao You sighed. It was going to be the longest two months of her life.

------------

Standing outside her room, Lei stood, prepared to knock.

It has been more two years since he last stood in front of this door. A week ago, the thought of being there would probably not even cross his mind. But the last few days suddenly changed the world upside down for him.

Three days ago, in time of Dao Ming Si and Shan Cai's arrival was also the news of Xi Men Tian Li's return. He couldn't stop thinking about the past ever since then.

Then two nights ago when Tian Li walked up to him and asked for Jing's number. For some reason, Lei had found it hard to sleep as he kept wondering what was on Tian Li's mind.

Finally about an hour ago, when he got Mi Mi's call. He was annoyed to have been disturbed from his fifteen-hour sleep but her message quickly woke him up completely.

_"Hua Zhe Lei Senior, Shan Cai Senior gave me your number and asked me to call __you and report to you that Teng Tang Jing Senior has just arrived in Taiwan. Shan Cai Senior is talking to her right now."  
_

Staring at Jing's door, Lei readied himself. It has been six months since he last saw Jing. At that time, though she wished him well at the airport, there was evident sadness in her eyes. When he enters her room, will that sadness still be there? Does he want it still to be there?

Taking a deep breath, Lei knocked on the door of his first love.

"Come in," Jing's voice came from inside.

Quietly opening her door, Lei entered Jing's room. He stood there by her door, waiting for her to notice his presence; but Jing was too busy with her bags, she didn't even looked up.

Then after about five minutes, Jing finally realized she was not alone in her room. She slowly looked up from where she was sitting in her bed, long strands of silky hair falling down on her shoulder.

"Lei."

For a moment, she looked uncertain as to how to react before finally smiling amusedly. Turning back to her bags, she said. "Shan Cai sure didn't waste time."

Lei shrugged even through he knew she couldn't see it since she was intently arranging her things. A long silence followed between the two of them.

Surprisingly, it was Lei who broke the silence with his simple question.

"Jing? What are you doing here? Why did you all of a sudden decide to return?"

Looking up at him, Lei knew Jing was trying to read behind his thoughts. She was very good at that. Since they were young, she knew exactly how to translate his every word, his every move.

"The truth is you're asking why I suddenly came back after Tian Li's return," she said. Right on the mark as always.

Lei didn't answer. He continued to stare at her, waiting for a reply.

Jing looked at him in confusion. "I don't know why you're asking me this. In Tian Li's call, he told me he got my number from you. He wants me to be at his wedding and of course, I want to be there too. Why do you seem so surprised?"

Eyes impassive, voice dull, Lei said simply. "The wedding is still two months away."

Lei watched as Jing took a deep breath and smile. "I know that but I haven't been home for more than two years. In four days, it'll be Christmas, I miss my parents and want to spend the holidays with them too, you know."

Lei didn't say anything. There was something Jing wasn't telling him. Though he knew their relationship would forever never be the same after Barcelona, they once meant a lot to each other. Just as he said, he'll always be her friend. If anything was bothering her, he wished she could open up to him.

But did he really want to know? It had hurt to see her shed tears for him in Barcelona. Would it really not affect him anymore to see her cry for someone else now?

Because unlike whatever else think, Lei suspected Jing had actually loved Tian Li. It wasn't a one-sided love like what everybody else thought.

Whatever happened between the two of them, maybe he'll never know but there was one thing Lei was sure. It wasn't entirely Jing's fault. Jing might have broken Tian Li's heart but when Tian Li went away, he had left Jing in pain too.

"It's Tian Li, isn't it?" Lei's voice came low and soft. "You've come back because of him. You came back because-"

"Lei," Jing interrupted him. "Whatever you're thinking, you're wrong. Please don't say anything else."

Turning away from him, she said, "Now if you don't mind, I really need my rest right now."

But Lei didn't want to leave. He could hear resentment in her voice, he wanted her to understand; he just wanted her to share whatever she was feeling with him.

"Jing, he's getting married. I know a lot has happened between us but you must know how much I cared for you-"

"That's just it, Lei. Cared. Past tense," she whispered.

Even before turning back to him, Lei knew that there would tears in her eyes. It was only the second time he ever saw her cry. First was six months ago and during that time, he felt a small tugging at his heart. Now, the same tugging was there and it was almost overwhelming. He felt a sudden urge to run to her and brushed her tears away.

"You made it clear in Barcelona that it was possible to forget me. If you could, then maybe Tian Li could too." She smiled slightly, "Thank you for worrying about me but don't worry; I'm not here to try to do with Tian Li what I tried to do with you in Spain. I already know that I've lost Tian Li years ago. I came back because we're best friends. And I really do wish him the happiness he deserves."

Throughout her talk, Lei could only stare at her.

Who was this woman and where was Jing? The Jing he knew was a woman of calmness and only had smiles. The Jing he had put in the highest pedestal, the Jing he adored throughout the years, couldn't possibly be this broken woman in front of him.

Probably seeing the incredulous look in his eyes, this woman turned away. "I really do need my rest, Lei," she said softly; voice so different from the Teng Tang Jing he knew.

There were so many questions running inside his head, but Lei didn't ask them.

After all, you never know just how much the truth could hurt you.

Quickly leaving Jing's room, there was only one thought going on Lei's mind. Whatever he and Jing shared between them was obviously nothing compared to what she and Tian Li shared.

Jing and Tian Li was actually a good couple but people never saw that because Lei was in the picture. Of course, perfect princess Jing deserved the best prince of all.

Xi Men Tian Li had given up his title Xi Men Company's heir, compared to Hua Zhe Lei, a F4 member, he was no match at all.

Teng Tang Jing and Hua Zhe Lei. It was a match made in heaven. The perfect fairytale romance that everyone admired and envied.

As Lei walked out of the house, for the first time, Lei realized everyone had been blind. He wasn't Jing's prince. . . no, he was not the prince she wanted. . . and maybe he never was. . .

-------------

Ying Xiao Qiao sat back from her seat and sighed. For the first time in years, she was in no mood to play her cello.

And for the first time in months, she had not seen Mei Zhou for more than a day as well.

But for some reason, she didn't quite feel as sad as she thought she would.

How come she wasn't sad? When she was in the States, she did nothing but think about Mei Zhou.  
__

_ Falling in love at twelve, aren't you a bit too soon to mature?_ Mei Zhou once asked her.

Xiao Qiao bit her lip, did she really mature too soon? Right now, she didn't feel mature at all. Right now, childish insecurities were eating at her.

When she came back, she had been determined to win Mei Zhou over. After some time, she thought she really did win him completely but now she wasn't at all sure.

What if she was wrong? What if Mei Zhou wasn't in love with her? If he didn't love her was it fair to continue pursuing him? Did she even want to pursue him after this?

Shaking her head, Xiao Qiao prepared to play her cello again. Not having enough inspiration to play something classic, she found herself playing Doaremon.

Doraemon. Mei Zhou was obviously just trying to embarrass her at that time but now she couldn't help thinking that maybe Mei Zhou really did like the music.

Maybe in wasn't her. Maybe it was Mei Zhou. Maybe he wasn't mature enough to fall in love.

Xiao Qiao suddenly stopped playing, realizing what she was just thinking. What was wrong with her? Isn't she supposed to be in love with Mei Zhou?

Supposed to be in love? Her mind echoed. The way she sounded, she doesn't seem in love at all.

The ringing of her cell phone shook Xiao Qiao out of her reverie. She glanced at her phone and sighed. It was Mei Zhou. Again.

He had been calling her since yesterday after she had refused to meet him, using the excuse of cramps making her grumpy and irritated all day.

For some reason, she wasn't thrilled at the thought of Mei Zhou worrying over her. She was actually even annoyed at his incessant calls and routine check-ups.

_Falling in love at twelve, aren't you a bit too soon to mature?  
_

Like a sudden insight, a thought came through Xiao Qiao's mind. What if she wasn't really mature at all? What if she had mistaken a childhood crush with love? What if all she really wanted was just to make Mei Zhou notice her?

And now he had. . . she just doesn't care anymore.

Without the slightest hesitation, Xiao Qiao reached out and hung up Mei Zhou's call.  
  
-----------

"So how have you been?"

Jing only smiled. Then Tian Li watched as she elegantly picked up her tea and took a sip.

"Fine. Law school is a lot harder than I originally thought though."

Tian Li smiled at Jing. They were sitting in their favorite Italian café late that afternoon.

He was not surprised when she called him of her return about two hours ago. Of course, he was the one who wanted her to come home after all. What he wasn't prepared was actually meeting her again after this long seven years.

She was still as beautiful as before, maybe even more so. He had always been fascinated with her beauty. As an artist, he looked up to her as the embodiment of perfect beauty that all artist wishes to immortalize with their work.

He smiled to himself, remembering those long hours Jing would pose for him, portrait after portrait.

Taking a deep breath, Tian Li tried to focus. He shouldn't let memories of the past distract him to what they came to do. And that was to conclude that unfinished chapter in their lives.

He stared deep and long into Jing's eyes. "I'm happy."

Jing smiled slightly. "Well then I'm happy for you." Her smile faltered a little as her voice shook a bit. "I wished I could say the same thing but. . . "

"It's okay, Jing," Tian Li said. On impulse he reached out to touch her cheek and immediately felt his hand fill with warmth.

Jing on the other hand was completely taken by surprise. Then her features softened as fat tears slowly made its way down her slender cheeks.  
  
Tian Li had always hated to see her cry. He lightly brushed her tears away.

"Please stop crying, Jing," he whispered gently.

Jing nodded as Tian Li pulled his hand away. They were quiet for a few moments before Jing whispered softly.

"I'm sorry."

Tian Li smiled sadly. "It's okay, Jing." Leaning over, he kissed her cheek, tasting the mark of salty tears left on her skin. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry too."

Then for a long long time, the two of them just continued staring at each other.

------------

Meanwhile, by the door of the café, stood a frozen Xi Men. He had been watching the scene between his brother and Jing unfold before him.

What was going on here? Why was Jing here in Taiwan? When did she return from Paris? What was she doing with Tian Li?

Well, the answer was quite obvious. They were reacquainting themselves. Reacquainting themselves with ease, he might add.

Xi Men couldn't believe it. Here he was, feeling guilty all day for his innocent incident with Xiao You that morning, while his brother go around touching his ex-lover's face as it was as vulnerable as glass? Had Tian Li completely forgotten he was engaged while Xiao You feels guilty for even talking to him?

It was true. Xi Men had seen her touching her engagement ring. Then and there, he realized Xiao You really do love his brother and she was guilty for even befriending him again. Fire, after all, is still fire.

But those brief moments when they stared at each other, it was nothing compared to the way Jing and Tian Li was gazing at each other now.

Feeling anger rising in his stomach, Xi Men started towards Jing and Tian Li's table. After two steps, he suddenly stopped though.

How does he explain to Tian Li why he was there? How does he explain why he was so affected?

Could he really just go and say that he was there because memories of his 'pretend-date' with Xiao You was haunting him and he wanted to go to the café he once brought her before?

Could he really confront his brother without letting his secret feelings for his fiancée known?

Xi Men stared at Jing and Tian Li. They were still staring at each other, lost in their own worlds.

The power of past's memories was definitely overwhelming. If those two continued their staring session, they'd probably go back to the time when they meant the world to each other.

And if that happens, where does that leave Xiao You?

A spark of hope lightened Xi Men's heavy heart.

_ Perhaps she'll find her way back to me. . ._

_-------------------_

**Next chapter:** Xi Men is in a dilemma! He saw his brother and Jing exchanging a gentle moment! What to do now? Confront his brother and risk letting his feelings known or tell Xiao You and risk hurting her? Between his problem and Lei's questions, could one pig head and a stupid woman come up with a solution? Find out in Chapter 5: **Between Matchmaking and Fooling Around.  
**  
Well that's it for now, I'll try to update next one or two weeks. Hope to hear from you, dear readers! Any comments, suggestion and criticism would be greatly appreciated, thanks in advance!  
  
Oh sorry too that the chapter was soooo long. I just didn't realized it until I was finished. I don't know if you guys like long chaps. If you dont, sorry po talaga! 


	5. Between Matchmaking and Fooling Around

**piglet: **glad u like long chaps.

**Serenity's Angel in Heaven:** there'll be a short moment between sc and dms here but i guess the their best moment in the fic will happen in the next chap. :D

**Disclaimer: **sigh This is the hardest part in writing fanfiction. . . admitting that MG nor HYD isn't mine.

Chapter 5: **Between Matchmaking and Fooling Around**

". . . that's why I think we should play matchmakers for Xiao You and Xi Men, what do you think?"

Dao Ming Si, lost in thought, only nodded silently.

"So you would really help me out?"

"Uh-huh."

"Pig head! You're not listening at all! What is wrong with you? You didn't go and hit your head again, did you?"

Slowly Shan Cai's loud voice invaded Dao Ming Si's consciousness. He turned to his girlfriend, who was seated next to him, and muttered as intelligently as he could manage.

"Huh?"

At that, deep lines appeared on Shan Cai's forehead. Leaning forward, she examined Dao Ming Si's face.

"Dao Ming Si, tell me honestly you didn't have another accident, right? You do know who I am, right?"

While Shan Cai continued looking for any signs that may indicate something wrong with him, Dao Ming Si on the other hand, suddenly felt his breath hitching up. Shan Cai was so close; their faces were mere millimeters apart. She also had this incredible cute worried expression in her face that caused the corner of his lips into a smile.

"Shan Cai, I'm fine. I was just thinking," he reassured her.

An even more frantic look came over Shan Cai's perfect features.

"Eh then you really are not yourself! You're thinking?! Maybe you have a fever?" She playfully put a hand over Dao Ming Si's forehead. "Is it the flu? Do you have it?"

Dao Ming Si took her hand away and glared at her. "Stupid woman, stop joking around, okay? I'm serious."

As Shan Cai pretended to choke, Dao Ming Si cut her off by pulling her towards him. "Look, I'm really serious," he said, his voice clearly indicating that he really was.

Shan Cai nodded as she settled her head more comfortably on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," she whispered softly. Closing her eyes, Shan Cai thought that nothing could destroy their moment then; for enveloped in Dao Ming Si's arms, she felt so much at peace. . . so much in love. . .

"So what were you thinking?" she asked, wanting to share whatever was on his mind.

Dao Ming Si couldn't answer right away. He didn't want to worry her, she looked so serene right now that he hated to ruin her mood. But in the end, Dao Ming Si realized it would not do any good if he kept _this _from her.

So clearing his throat, he nonchalantly blurted out, "Ma has found me again."

Shan Cai's reaction was immediate. Her head snapped back and her eyes turned questioningly to his. "You've seen her?"

"Not exactly but Butler Lau came to my apartment this morning. Ma is at New York right now but through the news of Tian Li's engagement, she found out that I am back as well."

With that Shan Cai's pale face turned even paler. She turned her head away sadly and asked, "Is she trying to break us up again?"

Cupping Shan Cai's head in his hand, Dao Ming Si forced her to lock eyes with him. "It doesn't matter. Ma could try but she won't succeed." Leaning closer so his next words kissed Shan Cai's lips, he continued. "I love you, Shan Cai."

Shan Cai's lips smiled against his. "I love you too, pig head."

Those words were the key; every thought of his mom vanished as Shan Cai said those precious three words. And since their lips were already pressed together, Dao Ming Si thought why not make the best of it?

So closing his eyes, Dao Ming Si tilted her face further so he can kiss her deeper. He was delighted at Shan Cai's response, quickly wrapping her arms around his neck and meeting him kiss by kiss.

Finally the demand for oxygen became overwhelming and the two simultaneously pulled apart. After catching his breath, Dao Ming Si leaned over again but Shan Cai lightly pushed him away.

"Dao Ming Si, this is no time for this. . . we need to plan. . ."

"Plan what?" Dao Ming Si asked, not giving up and leaning closer again.

But Shan Cai quickly retaliated by leaning back herself, keeping a good five inches of distance between their lips. "Xiao You and Xi Men's things. You promised to help me out."

"No I didn't," Dao Ming Si said. He inched closer once more.

Shan Cai glared at him, "Yes you did!" Dao Ming didn't answer as Shan Cai leaned back some more, trying to put a safe eight inches of space between them; at the end she fell on her back on the sofa. Now there was no more room for escape; Dao Ming Si's wicked grinning face quickly came to hover above her. She tried covering up the fluttering butterflies in her stomach with her annoyed voice, "Remember your very eager "uh-huh" a while ago?"

Dao Ming Si frowned at that. "But why don't we just let them straighten out their relationship on their own?"

"Dao Ming Si! Have you forgotten how Xiao You and Xi Men helped us before too? Moreover have you-"

"Okay okay. I'll help out."

Completely forgetting their position and how close he had come, Shan Cai smiled happily. "Really?"

"Yes. I even have a plan now." Swiftly, he gave his Shan Cai a peck on the lips. Such a short kiss yet it still caused his lips to yearn for more. And if Dao Ming Si guessed right, Shan Cai felt exactly the same way.

"So do we have the time now?" he asked, captivated with those incredible soft lips of hers.

But whatever answer Shan Cai had was just lost in his next kiss.

---------------

_Okay so I have to tell Xiao You what I saw because if I tell Tian Li he'll think I'm jealous which I am not. _Xi Men stared at the funny way the fried egg seemed to be sarcastically looking back at him. _Really I'm not! Why would I be jealous?_

Xi Men sighed; it was no use anyway. He had been debating with everything for the last hour. The bacons. . . the toasts. . . the cereals. . . all of them were convinced that he was just jealous and was just making a big fuss over nothing. It was not like he saw Tian Li and Jing kissing.

Xi Men glared at annoying pancakes. _That's just it! I saw Tian Li kissing Jing! Sure it was just on the cheek but still he's engaged and he's. . ._

His next thoughts were rudely interrupted as the kitchen doors began to open. Jumping to his feet, Xi Men pasted a smile and prepared to meet Xiao You.

And yet instead of Xiao You, entering the kitchen was one of their maids. As she bowed politely at him, Xi Men stole a glance on the clock. He had not realized how long he had been actually waiting for Xiao You.

Xi Men knew there was not like they had plans but he had thought about surprising Xiao You again. For the second day in a row, he had prepared breakfast for them to share. It would be too bad if his efforts would end in vain.

_Maybe she's still swimming_.

And with that Xi Men went off to find her. But by the French doors of the indoor swimming pool, he stopped. Two mornings ago, he had almost lost his breath after seeing Xiao You clad in nothing but a robe and a swimsuit. Now, not only was she clad in just a swimsuit, she was also in the pool _with _Tian Li.

The scene between them very innocent; actually they even looked like kids splashing each other with water like that yet Xi Men felt his moral side shouting how indecent the situation was.

Goodness. Swimming together? Wearing only swimsuits and trunks? Wasn't that a bit too intimate?

Who was his brother anyway to force Xiao You this way? Xiao You isn't that kind of girl!

Who cares if they were engaged? Engaged or not, it wasn't right. . . it wasn't. . .

Who cares if they were looking at each the way Shan Cai and Dao Ming Si look at each? That lovers' kind of gazing each other that make Xi Men sick?

Who cares if they were. . .

Suddenly, Xi Men groaned as a traitorous voice inside his head answered.

_I do. . . _

_--------------------------_

"I wonder where Ah Lang is? We haven't seen him the whole day." Tian Li asked as the servants serve them their dinner's dessert.

Xiao You suddenly felt her cheeks redden and she wished her fiancée would think it was only because of the half glass of wine she had already drank.

Actually she had already seen Xi Men for the day. She had caught a glimpse on him that morning hightailing away from the doors of the indoor pool while she and Tian Li were playing with the water.

At first, Xiao You had not understood by Xi Men had gone running off as if the very devil was at his heels; but when she and Tian Li went off to the kitchen for breakfast, she had a bit of an idea what could have caused Xi Men scrambling off like that.

Xi Men had prepared breakfast again for them and maybe went off to find her but when he saw her, he saw too that she was with Tian Li. It was hard to believe but it was possible that was the reason why Xi Men had gone off with such a hurry.

_". . . Xi Men is jealous. . "_

At that Xiao You's face flushed even brighter.

Noticing, Tian Li took her hand and gave it a loving squeeze.

"Xiao You, what's wrong? Are you alright?"

Xiao You turned to her fiancée, her heart tightening with guilt. The warmth of Tian Li's hand rivaled that of the heat in her stomach caused by the alcohol. Nothing and no one can affect her, the way Tian Li could to her. Just a simple smile from him and every other thought disappears.

Looking into his concerned face, Xiao You wondered why would she even think about Xi Men when the perfect guy was right here, holding her hand? For even if Shan Cai was right. . . that Xi Men was indeed jealous. . . his feelings couldn't possibly be as sincere and deep as Tian Li's.

Jealous? Xi Men was probably suffering from busted male ego. Xiao You didn't need Xi Men's self-interested feelings; as long as Tian Li loved her, she could definitely put the past behind her.

Smiling reassuring at her Tian Li, Xiao You returned in squeezing his hand.

"Everything's fine. Everything is absolutely fine."

----------------------------

"So how's your plan coming along?"

Shan Cai listened on as Dao Ming Si let out a weary sigh over the phone. "Not good. I can't find Xi Men. His phone is turned off and the people over at his house say he's still not home. I thought that maybe he's still in his office so I called there too but Secretary Xu said Xi Men had never returned after lunch time." Dao Ming Si sighed again. "I'm tired," he complained.

Shan Cai smiled. She could almost imagine Dao Ming Si pouting right now as they talk on the phone. He had the most adorable pout that Shan Cai almost wished he was sitting next to her instead of having him over the phone.

Leaning back on her bed, Shan Cai teased, "Well you don't have the time to be tired, go now and find Xi Men. Remember you promised you would help out."

Dao Ming Si grunted in response. "I don't remember."

"Dao Ming Si!" Shan Cai warned. "You're lucky I'm not there or I might just hit you. You don't have amnesia so don't you go and tell me you forgot!"

But there was only silence that followed. Because he failed to answer, Shan Cai became worried.

"Dao Ming Si?" Shan Cai called out. "Dao Ming Si?"

"It doesn't matter," Dao Ming Si finally whispered. His soft and low voice sent an unexpected shiver down Shan Cai's spine. "I don't care if you hit me. . . as long as you could be beside me now. . . Shan Cai, I missed you."

Once more Shan Cai felt the corners of her mouth pulling into a smile. She could also feel her whole body blushing all over. The truth was she really wished she was there with him now too.

"Pig head," she said, her voice full of endearment. "It's been only a day."

"I don't care," Dao Ming Si whined.

Shan Cai continued to smile happily. Even after this time, she could not believe her old Dao Ming Si was back. The Dao Ming Si who always knew what he wanted and would do everything to get it. How could Shan Cai deprive this desire of his when she wanted it that much too?

"Don't worry, okay? I promise to see you tomorrow and. . ."

"And what?" Dao Ming Si asked hopefully.

"And. . . and you can spend Christmas and New Year with me," Shan Cai said in a rush. Realizing Dao Ming Si might mistake her words, she quickly added, "I mean me and my family of course."

But of course, Dao Ming didn't hear any innuendo. . . he was still the naïve Dao Ming Si he had been three years ago.

"Really?" he asked with much childlike glee. "Then I really do promise to go and find Xi Men. It's already late so maybe I'll try catching up with him tomorrow." He paused for a while before continuing, "By the way, Shan Cai, I need you to do one thing."

"What?"

"I need you to go and see Lei tomorrow."

------------------------

Lei watched as an already drunk Xi Men downed yet another glass.

After Xi Men had suddenly showed up and disturbed Lei's fifteen hours sleep, the two of them headed over at VS for some drink. After drinking two bottles of wine almost all by Xi Men, Lei thought Xi Men had had enough; he put out a hand as Xi Men tried to poured himself yet another drink.

"Xi Men, that's enough."

Xi Men turned to Lei and complained. "Aw come on, Lei. You know it's like tradition that we drink two bottles of wine when we, F4 are celebrating." He looked around and laughed. "But since it's just you and me. . . and you don't want to drink no more, then I have to finish the wine myself." Even drunk as he was, Xi Men was able to pull away from Lei and drank the glass of wine.

"Xi Men," Lei began.

"It's not like it's my fault," Xi Men protested. He turned bloodshot eyes to Lei and continued, "Blame Ah Si and Mei Zhou. Such buddies they are."

"What do you mean?"

"What do I mean?" Xi Men repeated loudly. "This is what I meant. . . that Mei Zhou, I called him so he can join in our celebration, but you know what? He said he's not feeling up to it. Why? Let me tell you. . . apparently he has not seen Xiao Qiao in three days!"

With that Xi Men let out a sarcastic laugh, Lei could only watch his friend helplessly.

"You know Lei, I was annoyed at first but what can I do huh?" Pouring another glass, Xi Men laughed once more. "I thought about calling Ah Si too but realized he'll be busy with his hardworking virgin too." After those words escaped his mouth, Xi Men began to frown. He turned questioning eyes to Lei.

"Hua Zhe Lei, tell me the truth. Do you still like Shan Cai? Or did Jing's sudden return woke up back many of those feelings that you thought were long buried?"

To say Lei was surprised with Xi Men's question was an understatement. He had not thought Jing's name would be brought up in this conversation; for after all, Lei knew behind Xi Men's ranting was feelings of resentment about Xiao You's engagement. What had Jing got to do with Xi Men's bitterness?

Apparently, Xi Men saw the question in his eyes. He laughed mockingly, "Right. I haven't told you what I saw yesterday."

A feeling of uneasiness began to form in Lei's stomach. He knew instinctively that Xi Men's next words wouldn't be good.

"Jing and Tian Li. I saw them together yesterday." Xi Men poured more wine for Lei. "You should have seen them, Lei. They were staring at each other like there was no tomorrow."

Lei didn't respond instead he took his glass and drank his shot in one gulp.

A good few hours had suffered from Lei's fifteen hours sleep because he had been trying to figure out the weird feelings he had had around Jing yesterday. All throughout the night, his mind kept wandering back to the past to try figure the complex relationship he shared with Jing. Even now, Lei still have no answer, but things just kept getting more complicated.

Jing. After asking him to leave her alone yesterday, she had gone to see Tian Li?

His thoughts were interrupted though as Xi Men began nudging him.

"Lei, lost in your own world again? I thought you've recovered from your autism?" Xi Men snickered and turned knowing eyes at Lei. "That's why I'm telling you. . . decide if you like still Jing or not. . . don't wait until Tian Li steals her away too."

All thoughts of Jing disappeared at that moment. Very softly, Lei asked his heartbroken friend. "Steal her away too? Xi Men, stop torturing yourself. Just admit it, you like Xiao You and you hate the fact that she's now engaged to your brother."

Xi Men turned his head away but not fast enough for Lei not see the pain in his eyes.

"Xiao You is to just to me as Qing He is to Shan Cai.

After that, throughout the rest of the night, Xi Men didn't say another word.

----------------------

There was a loud roaring in Xi Men's ears. . . try as he might, the sound kept getting louder and closer.

Groaning in frustration, Xi Men reluctantly opened his eyes.

And no he was not in the middle of a highway with an eighteen-wheeler truck ready to hit and kill him; the stupid ringing in his ears was nothing but some damn hangover effect. The pain in his head almost made him wished he was instead in the middle of the road.

Pulling himself into a sitting position, Xi Men stared down at himself. He had been so drunk that he only had the time to take off his shirt and socks before crashing into bed. Glancing at his watch, Xi Men groaned some more, seeing how late it was. Except those days he had been hospitalized, today would be the first be would be absent from work. After a few minutes, Xi Men finally had enough strength to get up. Staggering to the bathroom, Xi Men was surprised he didn't go knocking some furniture along the way.

As he wash his face, Xi Men heard knocking from the bedroom door. Thinking it was probably one of the servants, bringing him coffee for his hangover.

"Come in," he called out from the bathroom as he wiped his face.

As the bedroom door creaked open, Xi Men hurried along stepping out from the bathroom as well. He stopped on his tracks as the cause of his hangover stood in the middle of his room, a steaming cup of coffee in hand.

"Xi Men. The servants told me about last night, so I brought you black coffee to help with your hangover."

Xiao You smiled at him but Xi Men could only stare back at her dumbly. Who needs coffee when she was there to bring up his slow heart rate? His fogged-up mind was already clearer and his weak pulse stronger too.

"So I'll just leave your coffee then," Xiao You added when Xi Men failed to answer after a while. She walked over to the bedside drawer and placed the cup on top of it.

Xi Men, on the other hand, had walked over to the bed as well. He suddenly grabbed Xiao You's wrist when she turned to walk away.

"Xi Men, what are you doing?" she asked, her voice edged surprise more than annoyance. She looked from his impassive face to the hand holding her up, and back to his face.

"I need to tell you something," Xi Men said urgently, stepping closer to her.

This time Xiao You's expression took on only surprise. They were inches apart and Xi Men felt her breathing in short gasps. She stared back at him for a few seconds before nodding.

Xi Men took a deep breath before releasing his hold on her wrist. Even though he was pretty out of it last night, he had already thought it out well. He had decided to tell Xiao You what he saw. Just like Lei, it would give her the chance to sort out her feelings. If Xiao You knew Tian Li had seen Jing behind her back, she might not be so eager to marry his brother then, Xi Men thought.

"Tian Li and Jing. I saw them the other day. . . they were together," Xi Men said almost robotically.

For the next few moments, Xiao You only blinked at him, wondering if she heard right. "What?"

Feeling his blood rushing all over his body giving him adrenaline, Xi Men grabbed Xiao You's shoulders. "I said I saw Tian Li and Jing together."

Xiao You stared at him strangely before shaking his hands off her. "Xi Men, what exactly are you implying?" She took a step back from him, her face filled with pain. "Please don't tell me it's what I think you're thinking."

Frustration eating at his insides, Xi Men yelled out. "It's exactly what you're thinking! Xiao You, my brother is che-"

"Cheating on me?" Xiao You asked, eyes hurt and voice broken.

Seeing her looking so vulnerable. . . so hurt was like stabbing Xi Men's heart with a warrior's sword. Why did Lei let him drink so much? The alcohol had probably killed all of his logic!

"Xiao You," he began remorsefully, stepping forward to touch her again. He hated himself for causing her this much pain.

But Xiao You quickly stepped back, evading him. "Save it, Xi Men. I don't want to hear it." With that, Xiao You walked off. At the bedroom door, she stopped but didn't look back.

"Drink your coffee. You're obviously still very much out of it."

And with that she closed the door, leaving Xi Men wishing that he really had been in the middle of the road.

_Kill me now. Anyone, please just kill me now._

_-----------------------------------_

Ling Mei Zhou watched fondly as Xiao Qiao finish off her lunch.

He had appeared in the Ying mansion early that morning to see her. After all, enough was enough. A day he could live with. Two days would be pushing it. Three days made him go absolutely crazy. The moment he woke up, he decided he would not let the day pass without him seeing his beautiful Xiao Qiao.

And there she was, more serene than any Yamato Nadesico could be.

"Xiao Qiao." Her name had just suddenly rolled off lovingly from his lips.

Xiao Qiao looked up to Mei Zhou and smiled. Mei Zhou sighed. How he missed that sweet smile.

"Yes?"

Taking her hand and squeezing it affectionately, he motioned for the remains of her dessert. "You didn't finish your food."

Xiao Qiao rolled her eyes. "It's okay, Mei Zhou. I'm full." She pulled her hand away from his grip and took a sip from her juice.

"But you didn't even eat half! You also only ate a little from the main course and soup." Looking over at her with worried eyes, he added. "Are you sure you don't want to see the doctor?"

Xiao Qiao turned back to him; probably reading something good from his expression, she smiled once more. Reaching to touch a hand to his cheek, she whispered. "Thank you for worrying so much about me, Mei Zhou."

Mei Zhou smiled happily back at her. The last torturous three days all vanished as the warmth of Xiao Qiao's slender hand started something warm inside his heart too.

_I love you_. Those words had been hidden inside him far too long, Mei Zhou thought. He wished one day soon, he could have enough courage to say it.

For now, he let his kiss speak for his feelings.

-------------------------

Shan Cai smiled at Lei as he gave her a glass of juice.

"I'm sorry for coming over without warning. Did I disturb your sleep?"

Lei shook his head as he sat across from her. "No, it's okay."

Shan Cai smiled again as she took a sip from her drink. Dao Ming Si had asked her to tell Lei their plan of setting up Xiao You and Xi Men. Shan Cai had asked him why; did he want Lei's help as well but the pig head said she'll find out herself anyway.

She turned to Lei who was watching her expectantly. Taking a deep breath, she told him her reason for visiting.

"Actually Lei I came here because Dao Ming Si told me to." Her nose wrinkling in confusion, she continued, "He wanted me to tell you our plan of setting up Xiao You and Xi Men." Turning questioning eyes to Lei, Shan Cai added, "I don't know why he wanted he though. I don't think he wants to recruit your help. Lei, do you know why he wanted you to know?"

Shan Cai stared as Lei's face slowly gave into a smile.

"Ah Si," he said, shaking his head. "Being subtle is never really his style."

"So you do know why?" Shan Cai prompted.

Lei smiled then nodded.

"So? What is it? Come on, don't keep me in suspense, Lei."

Lei stared at one of the framed pictures in the coffee table. The one with F4 in their early teens while Jing was already on her middle teens.

"I think Ah Si wanted me know because if you set up Xiao You and Xi Men, then that could mean Tian Li and Jing again."

Lines appeared in Shan Cai's forehead.

"Excuse me?"

Lei laughed. Shan Cai thought it was probably because of her puzzled expression.

"I'm sorry, Shan Cai. I guess it just never occurred to us to tell you about Jing and Tian Li. That they've been dating before."

Shan Cai felt her eyes widen as big as golf balls.

"Excuse me?" she repeated three volumes higher.

Lei only shrugged and went back to looking at the framed picture.

Shan Cai's mind was running a hundred miles per hour. So that's why Lei was acting strange from Tian Li's return. That was the reason too, Dao Ming Si looked so concern for Lei at that time when he told them the news of Tian Li's homecoming. It may also be the reason Dao Ming Si was so reluctant to help her out with her matchmaking plan.

If only she knew about this before! Stupid pig head four! Not even once did it cross their minds to tell her this information? Geez. She had known them for three years yet not one of them had bothered to tell them about it.

And now this information makes everything even more complicated. She had not known that by helping with Xi Men and Xiao You, she could end up hurting Lei. Again.

But if she pair up Lei and Jing, then Xiao You and Tian Li would really get married in two months thus leaving poor playboy Xi Men in pain.

Groaning in frustration, Shan Cai dropped her face into her hands. This was not good. Not good at all.

"Shan Cai," Lei called her.

She raised her head and looked at him. "What?" she growled. How could he manage to smile when he was causing her a headache? Annoying pig head Hua Zhe Lei!

Lei's smile grew wider. . . more nonchalant.

"It's okay. I don't care."

Shan Cai stopped at that. Inside her head, a flash of recognition played. That nonchalant smile. . . she had seen it before. . . she was sure of it. . .

Lei's smile. . . his laid-back attitude. . . it was the very same one back then when Lei came had back from France.

A smile graced her lips as a sudden insight dawned into her.

Her pig head Dao Ming Si had wanted her to tell Lei their plan, not to prepare Lei the endless possibilities the plan could cause; and it's definitely not to give her a headache either.

Dao Ming Si wanted her to see. . . what Lei wouldn't be willing to admit himself. . .

That in reality. . . there could be unseen feelings deep inside Lei too. . .

------------------------

Xiao You sat silently crying on one of the benches in Xi Men mansion's garden.

Just then she heard Tian Li calling her from a distance.

Quickly, she tried wiping her tears away but it was too late. Tian Li was already seeing next to her. He had seen her tears.

"Xiao You what's wrong?" he asked her, lifting her face. He brushed away her remaining tears.

Xiao You stared at his eyes, wishing she could read what he was thinking. Does he still love Jing? Why didn't he tell her that he had seen her?

_It's not like you told him that you had been seeing Xi Men in the mornings, _Xiao You's conscience nagged at her.

Hiding her eyes from him, Xiao You felt her guilt eating at her heart. What right does she have to accuse Tian Li when she had been doing the same?

And what right does she have to get jealous when just hours ago she had felt her heart beating wildly in her chest when Xi Men had stepped closer to her. For a moment there, she thought he was going to tell her he had feelings for her.

And for a fraction of that single moment, Xiao You knew that's what he wanted to hear from him.

But as always. . . Xi Men Zhong er Lang only ended up causing her pain. . .

Not only had he disappointed her. . . he had tainted the perfect love she had for Tian Li.

Now there was insecurity and doubt in her heart. . . she knew in her heart that she loved him. . . but does he really love her? Or had she been wrong again in thinking she finally found the one man who would love her completely?

More tears formed in Xiao You's eyes.

"Tian Li," she sobbed, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Her fiancée returned her embrace, warm arms holding her close.

"Xiao You, please tell me what's wrong. Please."

Pulling back after a while, Xiao You gazed upon his beautiful honest eyes. "Tian Li, please tell me the truth. Is Teng Tang Jing really back in Taiwan? Did you really go and see her?"

Tian Li looked surprise at her question. "Who-"

"It doesn't matter," Xiao You interrupted him. "Please. Just tell me the truth."

Tian Li nodded slowly. "Yes, Jing is back in Taiwan. I told you I want her in our wedding."

Xiao You turned away but Tian Li quickly turned her head back to lock him.

"Xiao You, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it, I didn't know you would be so upset. I only saw her because before I left that time, I told her we should pursue our own happiness. When we met again, it was only to tell her the truth. That I've found mine now. You."

Xiao You felt her heart wrenching in guilt. How could she suspect Tian Li? He really was perfect.

Wrapping her arms around him again, Xiao You pressed a soft kiss on his lips. "I'm sorry. . . I'm sorry for asking."

Tian Li shook his head as he held her once more.

"Ssh. It's okay. Don't cry anymore, Xiao You." Locking eyes with her, he kissed her forehead. "I love you, future Mrs. Xi Men Tian Li."

Xiao You smiled. She had overreacted. She had let her annoyance over Xi Men get the best of her thinking. They may be brothers. . . but Tian Li isn't a player like Xi Men. . . he really was perfect. . .

Resting her head on his shoulder, Xiao You whispered back.

"I love you too."

----------------------

"I bet even if you leaned more, you won't hear what they're talking about."

Dao Ming Si watched as Xi Men start in surprise.

When he came in, he found Xi Men leaning over the balcony railing so much that after he speak up, Xi Men almost fell off.

Xi Men turned to him in annoyance. "Ah Si, why did you speak up so suddenly? I could have fallen off, you know."

Dao Ming Si snickered mockingly. "The way you were leaning so eagerly, you would have fallen off anyway."

Xi Men rolled his eyes and walked to take a seat. "Whatever," he muttered under his breath. He examined Dao Ming Si from head to feet. "You're not working to sneak up on people now are you Ah Si?"

Dao Ming Si laughed. "Don't be ridiculous, Xi Men. I'm working at the breakfast van again." He smiled cockily, "What about you, you didn't tell me you like spying on people." He watched as Xi Men's eyes flash with annoyance. He smirked inwardly and turned to look down on the gardens, where Tian Li and Xiao You sat holding each other by one of the wooden benches. He turned back to Xi Men with all innocence, "You can't hear them from here, but if you want to know what they're talking about, I have a pretty good guess."

Xi Men rolled his eyes once more. "Ah Si, with permission to use your copyrighted saying, but I didn't ask for your opinion."

Dao Ming Si laughed heartily. He was enjoying annoying Xi Men immensely. "Loosen up, Xi Men; I was just teasing." He looked back towards Tian Li and Xiao You. "But really, they looked very much in love, don't they?"

Xi Men's response was a loud grunt. Dao Ming Si turned back to see his friend as white as chalk. "Cut the sap, Ah Si, you're making me sick."

Dao Ming Si nodded seriously. He was trying his best to remain impassive outside but inside, he wished Shan Cai could there to see how he triumph over Xi Men's stubborn wall.

"Okay, fine. I'm going to tell you now why I came over," he said gravely. He looked so serious that his sister would probably gag if he saw it. He took a pause to make the situation more dramatic.

"So? I'm waiting," Xi Men prompted impatiently.

"Don't be so impatient ok?" Dao Ming Si said, going back to his true bossy character. He breathed before looking seriously at Xi Men once more. "Well, here goes. I'm here to inform you that Shan Cai and I are planning to set Jing and Lei together and-"

"And you want my help?" Xi Men supplied dryly. "Sorry, Ah Si you know loving couples make me sick."

At Xi Men's interruption, the Dao Ming Si who hated being cut off flared again. "Would you let me finish first? That's not what we have in mind."

"Then what is it?" Xi Men asked, his impatience flaring up too.

Dao Ming Si stopped at that and tried to hide the smirk forming at his lips. This was even easier than he thought. Xi Men was so close to the breaking point.

"Well, all I'm trying to say is if Lei and Jing really get back together then Tian Li and Xiao You's wedding would definitely carry on. . . "

"Huh?"

". . . because in reality, there's some big chance Tian Li and Jing could resolved their relationship but if Jing gets to be with Lei, then probability of Tian Li and Jing would disappear. . . "

"What?"

". . . in addition to that, your chances with Xiao You would go from zero to negative. . . "

"Ah Si. . ."

". . . so tell me honestly now. . . do you or do you not love Xiao You?"

Xi Men stared at Dao Ming Si; the directness of the question turned him completely white. He looked down on the table before answering softly. "I guess I like her."

Dao Ming Si raised an eyebrow. He guessed? Geez. Xi Men is more thickheaded than he thought. "You guess? I don't think Shan Cai would accept that kind of answer."

Xi Men moaned; he raised his head towards Dao Ming Si's way. His eyes were full of vulnerability that Dao Ming Si never saw before. He got up from his seat and stared down at Xiao You and Tian Li.

"I don't just like her. . . I love her. . . I really really love Xiao You," Xi Men finally admitted.

Dao Ming Si smiled. Mission accomplished.

"About time, Xi Men Zhong er Lang."

So now that Operation Bring Xi Men and Xiao You Together is along the way, Dao Ming Si wished Operation Bring Lei and Jing Together could go along smoothly as well. But Lei had always been a lone player, Dao Ming Si knew they had to let Lei do his thing by himself. In the meantime, he and Shan Cai should concentrate on helping this big fool Xi Men.

Patting his friend comfortingly on the back, Dao Ming Si reassured Xi Men confidently.

"Don't worry, Xi Men. With my help, you'll get to experience too that most wonderful feeling I was telling you and Mei Zhou about years ago."

----------------------

**Next Chapter: **Now that Dao Ming Si had finally pushed him into admitting the truth about his feelings, Xi Men is now determined to fight for his love; but could he really break through Xiao You's defenses? And what about Lei, could he really just sit around and watch Shan Cai and Dao Ming Si pair up Xiao You and Xi Men, and thus leaving a possibility of Tian Li and Jing once more? Between the romantic air of the holidays and everyone's troubled love lives, would the relationship of a certain bickering couple move on another level? Find out in chapter 6: **Between Ah Si and Shan Cai.**

To all DMS/SC lovers, the next chap is dedicated to you guys! So I promise to update sooner(maybe instead of 2 weeks, I can update in a week!) this time coz in reality I'm a DMS/Sc lover best as well. Anyways, any comment would be greatly appreciated, so please do leave one, min'na-san!

**Cultural note:**

**Yamato Nadesico – **the embodiment of the perfect Japanese woman(like Maria Clara of the Philippines). I wanted to write the name used by the Chinese but as I've said before, I lost all of my files and I can't remember what the article on Jerry once called the perfect Chinese girl. I think it was Xiao Shun, I think. . . but since I'm not too sure, to be safe, I had used my knowledge on Japanese culture instead. Hehe, if anyone knows the right word/name, please tell me! Xie xie in advance!


	6. Between Ah Si and Shan Cai

**AN: **Sorry for the late update, guys. I know promised but somehow the past three weeks, with all of jerry's activities, has left me distracted all the time. I had actually devoted even more time daydreaming about him than studying for prelims. Hehe. And to add to that, I'm getting obsess with Inu Yasha. So please don't hate me, instead blame ABS for bringing back that great series by Takahashi Rumiko-sensei.

**Disclaimer: **Neither Meteor Garden or Hana Yori Dango belongs to me. Hehe, do you guys even have any idea the things I had in mind if I owned Dao Ming Si? naughty grin

Chapter 6: **Between Ah Si and Shan Cai**

"Let's wait until dawn breaks."

A startled Jing turned to Lei. He and Jing were sitting on the Teng lawn, looking up at the stars. He could feel her inquisitive stare on the side of his face, but Lei continued staring up at the sky.

The whole night had been awakward for both him and Jing; it had been painfully obvious how her parents were trying to set them up. When they invited him over, Lei anticipated it all yet as the night dragged on, Lei had began to doubt agreeing to dine with them. He decided then to ask Jing out for a while to make it up to her.

So when he was at the door, ready to say goodbye to Jing, he had just blurted his invitation to do some stargazing. Though Jing looked surprised at first, she of course agreed.

Sitting down on the lounge chairs, that was when Lei first realized that the two of them might end up in uneasy silence as well since he knew nothing of astronomy.

Thankfully Jing knew her heavenly bodies. So with her naming some stars and some little talk, the uncomfortable silence that was always looming over them had been avoided.

But just because it was avoided didn't mean the situation between them had improved. The two of them were still on some muddy ground of uncertainty and awkwardness.

Then as he gazed up at skies, an inspiration came to him. He was old enough to know Jing probably told him about the angels and fireworks at dawn to interest him, but inside him, Lei knew there was still a kid who wanted to believe her every word. Who knows maybe this time, his wish would really be granted.

Finally, turning to Jing, he smiled. "There's something I need to wish for the angels."

Jing stared back him for a while before smiling wistfully. Looking back at sky, she whispered. "I guess it's okay. I needed to ask something from the angels too."

Lei's smile grew wider as turned back to staring up at the stars. It relieved him to know she knew he wasn't mocking her and the special bond they used to share.

"Lei?"

Confused, Lei turned to Jing but this time, it was her who kept staring up at the night sky. The blue moon illuminating her face in a surreal way, Lei thought she looked too perfect to be real.

"What if I fall asleep?" she asked softly, her eyes fixed on the North Star.

"Then I'll just sleep myself."

Jing turned to him. "Why?"

"Because I wouldn't want my wish to be granted if yours wouldn't he heard," he said. He wished she heard the sincerity in his words.

And she did seem to hear it. She gazed back at him softly before finally smiling too. "Thank you," she whispered as she turned back to look up at the stars again.

Lei turned back to the sky and stared at Polaris too.

Then as he was thinking of another way to start a conversation, he saw Jing begin to close her eyes. There was satisfied look written all over her face. After another few seconds, she was asleep.

Lei shook his head, smiling amusedly. He peered closer to look at her face and suddenly sucked in his breath.

He had never seen Jing sleep before. And he never knew she looked younger than her age. When she was awake, Jing always seemed to be in a woman wiser than her years. . . but right now, she appeared as fragile as a child.

Also when Jing was awake, she was a breathtaking beauty; but her beauty was that of a woman of power, a woman who didn't need a man. Like Venus who captivates every mortal and immortal alike; but the power of Venus's beauty was overwhelming that sometimes even the gods had rather not touch it and just silently admire it from afar. And because no one had dared to risk the chance of getting burn, even as the goddess of love and beauty herself Venus never had found her true mate.

But at that moment, as Lei watched Jing sleep, he was not reminded of Venus. . . instead he was reminded of Psyche.

Psyche. She was a mere mortal who was fabled to be even more beautiful than Venus. Yes. . . Lei didn't think it was possible but Jing really was even lovelier asleep. So peaceful. So serene.

Staring down at her innocent and vulnerable face, Lei wished he knew this side of Jing before. If he did, then their relationship may not have been as complicated as it was now.

Pulling back away from her as if she burned him, Lei sat back again. He knew he had yearned for Jing all his life; but never had he felt an overwhelming desire to feel her right until now.

What was wrong with him? Wasn't his wish was to finally resolved his relationship with Jing? But the way he was feeling now, things might never be settled between them.

He once told Mei Zhou and Xi Men that love and friendship cannot exist at the same time.

That was why things never worked between him and Jing before. He loved her. . . but she only saw him as a friend, a little brother. . .

That was why he had decided to give up on Shan Cai completely too. In order to continue their friendship, he had to give up his love. . .

But was that what he really wanted now? Does he really want Jing to give up on him so they can finally move on and start anew with their friendship?

After all, he loved her dearly once. Lei knew in his heart it would not be hard to love her again. It was impossible between him and Shan Cai, why not let himself this chance of happiness?

Lei then frowned. He was thinking way ahead. He didn't even know if Jing still felt the same way for him.

_Or if she ever really had felt something_, Lei's mind added as Tian Li's name flashed through his mind.

Glancing at Jing, Lei realized it was a good thing she fell asleep. For what would happen when he wished on the angels and ended up regretting? He needed to sort out and make sure of his feelings first.

Slowly closing his eyes, Lei thanked Jing silently. Then right there, under the starlit sky, he fell asleep too.

Something bright was irritating Jing's closed lids. Turning her head to hide away from the source, she found the light was still shining on her. At the back of her mind, Jing thought that her room didn't have this much sun. Realizing that, Jing reluctantly opened her eyes. The sight that greeted her startled her and she quickly sat up.

_Lei!_

Though her heart gave a sudden jump to see Lei's angelic face, her logical mind quickly squashed that thrill as it wondered how he ended up sleeping next to her? Looking around, Jing breathed a sigh, remembering what has happened last night.

The two of them had been lounging out on the yard, he had asked her to stay and wait for dawn but she must have fallen asleep. Jing smiled, thinking how sweet Lei was. Not wanting to disturb her, he had fallen asleep on his chair next to her too.

But still didn't her parents wonder when she didn't return to her room? But then again, they probably thought she was with Lei and had let them alone.

Pushing the hair away from her eyes, Jing stood from her seat to scoot over to Lei. Leaning over she examined Lei's face. She had not have the chance to watch him sleep in years and it gave her a small happiness to be able to experience it again. He was cute and angelic awake but asleep he has three times more so.

Jing smiled; the saying was right, time does heal all wounds. For though her heart still feels very heavy every time she would gaze at Lei, the feeling was slowly getting better as the months had passed. One day Jing hoped she could stare at Lei even up to hours and not feel her heart shattering into pieces.

Yes. . . one day, her heart would heal. Though she wasn't able to wish upon the angels last night, Jing needed to believe that one day she could really set her feelings aside. When that happens, then she and Lei could finally move from this awkward position they were in now to become the friends they were actually ever only meant to be.

Straightening her back, Jing debated whether to wake up Lei or not. The sun was rising and it would be hard for Lei to continue to sleep out like this. Reaching over to wake him up, Jing was suddenly startled when she heard a noise of a car.

Who could possibly be driving to Teng mansion this early morning in Christmas Day? Jing's brow creased in confusion but her eyes quickly widen as a thought entered her mind.

_Could it be?_

Completely forgetting Lei and waking him up, Jing ran towards the front of the mansion, her heart thumping in anticipation.

And she was right. There he stood about to ring the bell.

"Tian Li!"

He turned around in surprise, smiled when he saw her then walked up to her.

"What are you doing here?" Jing asked him incredulously though deep inside her, she knew exactly why.

Tian Li smiled, he reached out to tuck hair behind her ear. Jing thought she must look horrible; she has not even wash her face nor brush her hair yet! "I should ask you the same thing, why are you out here this early?" He looked her over and laughed, "And yet you're dressed completely too."

Jing returned his smile; her ear was still tingling where Tian Li's hand had brushed. She opened her mouth to say that she and Lei fell asleep out in the yard but stopped herself. For some reason, she didn't want Tian Li to know. Shrugging, Jing said instead, "I fell asleep out in the yard while watching the stars." Self-consciously, she tugged her skirt to smoothen it a little, "Sorry if you have to see me in such a state."

Tian Li shook his head. "Don't worry, Jing. You still look great," he said sincerely. Then a look of concern passed over his face, "But you look a bit pale." Touching her cheek, he asked "Weren't you cold? It had been a cool night."

Jing shook her head, indicating she was okay. For a moment, she was tempted to say his hand was warm and it was very nice; but as Tian Li pulled away, Jing decided to just keep that thought to herself.

"Well," Tian Li began as he showed her a nicely-wrapped box. "As tradition, here's your Christmas present from me."

Jing gingerly took it from him. Hugging the gift to herself, she looked up to her best friend's honest brown eyes. "After all these years, you remember?"

Tian Li nodded. "Of course."

For the next few moments Tian Li and Jing stared at each other softly until Tian Li turned away and broke the silence.

"Well, I have to go. Ma's arriving in an hour and I wouldn't want to miss my first breakfast with my whole family in years." With that, he leaned over and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

As Tian Li walked off, Jing continued to stand there, clutching her gift to her chest. Why was it that her last meetings with him, it had always ended up with Tian Li walking away from her? And why, after all this years, does it still hurt when he does?

After Tian Li's car had been gone for a few minutes, Jing finally sighed and turned to go back into the mansion. Her heart jumped in surprise though when she spotted Lei a few feet away.

"Lei, you've frightened me."

Lei shrugged and walked over to her. When he was standing in front of her, he looked down at the gift she was gently holding against her.

"First thing in the morning, Tian Li had came over just to give you a gift?"

Jing nodded. Lei had asked his question with his characteristic monotone but Jing heard an underlying question in it. It was the question that Jing didn't want to face the most. She smiled simply at him and pretended not to hear his tone.

"Come inside to freshen up," Jing cajoled, already stepping away from him and his questioning gaze. After she had walked a few steps, she stopped as Lei called out to her once more.

"Jing, you used to come over my house first thing in the morning in Christmas Day to give me my gift."

Jing stood there with her back to him; his words had poked needles and pins right into her heart.

"Right," she whispered, not turning to face him. "After Tian Li hands me his gift, the first thing I do is run over to you."

Xiao You squeezed her fiancée's fingers lovingly.

"Are you happy?"

Tian Li smiled. Pulling Xiao You closer to him, he whispered against her soft hair.

"Yes. I was afraid to see how my parents would interact with each other but ironically the divorce actually did well for them. Though some part of me still wish that they could have resolved their relationship, I'm contented now to see they're getting along fine."

Xiao You nodded, leaning her head on Tian Li's chest and wrapping her arms around his waist.

Though he was mature than most men, Tian Li was actually a kid inside. He was a kid who wanted to have a happy family more than anything.

And as if reading her mind, Tian Li tilted her chin and smiled down at her. "Yes, my wish is to have a happy family." He leaned to kiss her softly in the mouth. "Xiao You, we'll have the happiest family in the world," he promised.

Xiao You nodded, pecking him on the lips. Then she placed her head once more on his chest, contented in listening his steady heartbeats.

She believed him completely. Xiao You knew Tian Li could make her happy. He was the first man to hold her hand with the warmth she had always longed for. The man who whispered loving words in her ear everytime she needed to be reassured. The man who showed her that love wasn't all supposed to be bitterness and sadness.

Closing her eyes, Xiao You savored those precious gentle seconds she shared with Tian Li on Xi Men mansion's balcony.

But just as quickly, their moment was interrupted by none other than Xi Men Zhong er Lang himself.

"Sorry to bother you but Xiao You my mother wants to see my brother for a while." Xi Men said, appearing suddenly out of nowhere.

Xiao You rolled her eyes. Disengaging her arms from Tian Li, Xiao You felt a little annoyed. Ever since that morning in Xi Men's room, Xiao You had refused to talk to him.

Though Xiao You knew it was Xi Men's comment that really ticked her off, she also knew she was at fault too. She should have known better than to befriend Xi Men. She should have known that after everything that has happened between them, any relationship was just too impossible to build again.

But she didn't know. She didn't even expect either that her heart could still race at Xi Men's mere proximity. And the thought hurt her, knowing she was betraying Tian Li. It was simply wrong to be engaged and yet be vulnerable to experience so much emotions from her fiancée's own brother.

Her heart was that unreliable, Xiao You had decided. So as not to go through another painful episode, she had resolved to stay away from Xi Men. That way, he can't possibly affect her in any way. Besides, in two months, he'll be her brother-in-law, there was no use of being his friend now.

The feel of warm lips upon her cheek brought Xiao You back from her musings. She turned to Tian Li and smiled.

"You want to come with me?" he asked.

Xiao You shook her head. She knew Tian Li needed some time alone with his mother. "It's okay. You and your mom need your time alone."

Tian Li smiled sweetly. Whispering a soft goodnight, he leaned over to kiss her cheek again before leaving the balcony.

Xiao You turned to look out after Tian Li left. She was tensed all over as she waited for Xi Men to leave too. Finally after a whole two minutes, she realized Xi Men wasn't planning to leave. Xiao You sighed warily.

"Why are you still here?" she asked him coolly, her back to him.

Instead of replying, Xiao You heard Xi Men walked forward. He stopped right behind her. "I wanted to give you something."

Xiao You's eyes grew wide. Reluctantly, she turned to him. "For me?" she asked. As Xi Men nodded, Xiao You's eyes turned suspicious. "A Christmas or an apology one?"

Xi Men smiled sheepishly. "Both."

With his smile, Xiao You felt herself softening. At least he knew what he did was wrong, her mind relented. She mouthed a soft 'thank you.'

"Open it," Xi Men encouraged when she had the gift in her hands.

Doing as he told, Xiao You delicately tore away the wrapper. She couldn't help sucking in a sudden breath when she found a jewelry box inside.

Xiao You turned disbelieving eyes to Xi Men. Xi Men only smiled again and took the box in his hands. Opening it, he revealed a silver necklace with a pretty butterfly pendant inside.

Speechless, Xiao You could only stare the necklace in his hands. She was even more shocked to find small gems designed all over the butterfly's wings. They were Amethysts, her birthstone.

Xiao You stared at Xi Men, dumbfounded.

"Xi Men, I can't take this," she started, shaking her head.

"But why?" Xi Men asked, his face was filled with hurt and disappointment.

"It's too much," Xiao You explained. Shrugging, she continued, "You don't need to give a gift at all. An apology is enough."

Xi Men shook his head. He stepped forward catching Xiao You off guard with his sudden move. He had only left like about six inches of spaces between them.

"Xi Men-"

But she didn't get to finish as once more, Xi Men surprised her by moving over to put the necklace around her. "Xiao You, please take it," he whispered as he put on the clasp. Xiao You could feel how warm his hands were on her bare neck. Then with his hands still around her, Xi Men pulled back a little and smiled down slightly at her, "This isn't just a sorry present, it also means how sincere I am. I want to start over Xiao You, please let me."

With one hand still behind her neck, Xi Men traced the necklace with his middle finger. He stopped right on the pendant. "Please, Xiao You, let's be friends again," he whispered. His eyes were pleading. "We had a bad start, but I really want to be friends again. Please."

Xiao You stared at Xi Men, confused by so many things. First, it puzzled her how normal she felt right that moment. Just two days ago, Xi Men's proximity alone had started fireworks of emotion within her. Ironically, now he was holding her intimately, she felt nothing at all.

It was also perplexing that there was not an ounce of guilt inside her heart. Even standing so closely to Xi Men, Xiao You didn't feel like she was betraying Tian Li.

But what confused her more than anything at that moment was how serious Xi Men was. He really wanted to win her good side again.

Pulling away from him, Xiao You studied Xi Men closely.

She had resolved to stay away from him because she felt she was betraying Tian Li. But she can't betray Tian Li if she didn't feel anything for Xi Men, right?

Xiao You bit her lip. The last of her defenses came crumbling down as her hand involuntarily fingered the necklace's pendant; Xi Men had made such a big effort.

Relenting, Xiao You let her lips give in a smile. "Fine," she said, nodding. But her smile disappeared as quickly as it came. Xiao You's hand tightened around her pendant.

"But Xi Men, I still can't accept this necklace. This is just too much, I didn't even get you anything."

"That's okay. I'll accept a kiss as a consolation."

He hadn't meant to say that, it was just like a conditioned response to him. Probably, it was just his well-practiced line after giving all his mei-meis gifts before. Xiao You confirmed this as Xi Men's face brightened red as he realized what he said and whom he said it to.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, looking absolutely mortified.

Xiao You smiled amusedly. No one would guess that suave and smooth-talker Xi Men Zhong er Lang actually knew how to blush!

But as adorable as his flushed face looked, Xiao You knew she had to do something to ease his discomfort. After all, didn't she decide to be friends with him again?

But before she could completely grasp the consequences of what she was about to do, she hastily decided to ease his embarrassment by 'acting' her part. She had realized too late how reckless her mind was.

But she was already standing four inches from Xi Men, she'll looked stupid if she suddenly stepped back now; she might as well do it. . . A kiss was just a kiss, she told herself as she stared up at Xi Men's eyes.

Then tentatively placing her hands on his arms for leverage, Xiao You watched as Xi Men's eyes widen in surprise. Slowly going on tiptoe, chest brushing against chest, Xiao You leaned closer to give Xi Men a kiss.

Maybe it was Xi Men's sudden head turn. . . or maybe Xiao You's head was not angled properly. . . or maybe it was because of both reasons that caused the kiss that was aimed for his cheek to land on the side of Xi Men's mouth instead. The side Xiao You's lips that were pressed on Xi Men burned with warmth yet she didn't pull away. The kiss lasted a millisecond more than intended.

Pulling back down, Xiao You met Xi Men's eyes. Because they were still close enough, the moment their eyes held each other, Xiao You felt how both their heart simultaneously started racing.

But the very next second, her heart tightened with guilt. Xi Men looked so much like his brother.

Tian Li. Her fiancée. Instinctively, she knew she had betrayed him again.

Stepping away from Xi Men, she whispered softly, voice full of remorse. "Thank you for the necklace, Xi Men." Looking up at him, she added, "And yes, let's be friends again."

With her words, Xi Men's tender look suddenly changed to one full of disappointment. And even if her life would depend on it, Xiao You couldn't understand why she all of a sudden felt she was betraying Xi Men too.

Later that night, Xi Men lay awake on his bed, staring up at his ceiling.

He didn't want to believe it, didn't want to admit it but Dao Ming Si was actually right.

Yesterday, Dao Ming Si had given his first lesson on how to win Xiao You over. It was appalling at first; to think Dao Ming Si, the most inexperienced F4 member, giving him, Xi Men Zhong er Lang, advise on how to woo a girl. It was simply absurd.

But the moment Xiao You's eyes widen with delight when she saw the necklace, Xi Men had silently thanked God for his dense friend.

Xi Men smiled, remembering his argument with Dao Ming Si.

"Ah Si, what you're telling me is just impossible."

"No it's not!" Dao Ming Si had pressed on. "Let me tell you, Shan Cai accepted my proposal to date me after I gave her that meteor necklace. She was really touched."

"But Ah Si, though Shan Cai would say otherwise, at that time she already liked you more or less. Of course, a diamond necklace with some corny meaning would moved her but I don't think Xiao You would be impressed if I give her a diamond meteor necklace. She's wearing my brother's diamond engagement ring, remember?"

Dao Ming Si frowned at Xi Men. "Who said something about you giving her a meteor necklace?" Dao Ming Si rolled his eyes, "Let me tell you, Xi Men, I won't ruin such as special memory by letting you use it!" Taking a deep breath, he calmed down a bit. "All I'm saying is give her some jewelry or something. It'll be like a token or your sincerity. As to what design and stones it'll have, that's up to you."

Moving on to his side, Xi Men tried to think back why he had chosen the pendant for Xiao You. It was the beautiful shade of amethyst that caught his attention in the first place, he knew it was Xiao You's birthstone. Then as examined the pendant more, the butterfly somehow reminded of him of his feelings for Xiao You.

Like a butterfly, his feelings had aken some time to grow. But just the same, it had grown to something very beautiful.

Xi Men shook his head, hearing the corniness of his own words. He was beginning to turn like Dao Ming Si.

But then that was not exactly bad. Dao Ming Si after all managed to win Shan Cai at the end.

Smiling, Xi Men raised a hand to his lips.

There was another thing that Dao Ming Si had said that was he had proven right that night.

In his age, he had probably been kissed by more girls than ten boys his age added together had been and yet he never felt as pleased and as satisfied before.

But tonight was different and to think it was really a kiss.

But still those precious seconds Xiao You was pressed to him, lips against his own was just pure bliss.

Too bad that reality had to sink back to soon though. He wasn't blind; Xi Men saw how Xiao You's eyes quickly filled with guilt.

Xi Men moaned. He himself felt guilty for even laying on his bed, thinking about Xiao You knowing his brother was probably on his room dreaming about Xiao You too.

Of course that was normal. Tian Li was engaged to Xiao You. He was the one Xiao You loved now.

While he, Xi Men, was just a man from Xiao You's past. A loser who have nothing but cling desperately for the last straws of hope that somehow Xiao You would change her mind and return to him.

Xi Men groaned, burying his head on his pillow. As much as he wanted Xiao You to choose him, he couldn't help but think what would happen to his brother if that happens.

"Either way, you all lose," Dao Ming Si had said perceptively. He should know, he'd been in some sticky love triangles himself.

After Dao Ming Si had said that, Xi Men had felt his hairs all standing up. The poignancy of its meaning was just too heavy to ignore.

Rolling again on his back, Xi Men stared at his ceiling again.

_Either way, we all lose. . ._

Then, in the darkness of his room, Xi Men trembled all over again.

All his life, Mei Zhou hated the little-rich-girl types. All of them seemed fake to him. Some of them took the façade of regality but inside, they had nothing but helium holding up on their heads. Others of these annoying types disguise themselves under sugar-sweet smiles but deep down, a bitchy personality lives. Most of all, Mei Zhou hated those who submissive-little-rich-girl types. Those who let themselves be dragged along but they would do nothing but complain all throughout.

But of course, there were some exception from that category of annoying little-rich-girls. Jing was one and that was why she had earned F4's respect and admiration her very much.

But Hua Zhe Lei wasn't the only lucky F4 member who found his own exceptional little-rich-girl, Mei Zhou found someone just as special for his own.

And she's not only gifted, she truly was as sweet as honey.

Smiling inwardly, Mei Zhou glanced up at Xiao Qiao.

In her black dress, she looked out of place among the gym equipment. She sat silently on the push-up bed, idly looking around the gym from time to time.

And as Mei Zhou watched on, the inevitable happened.

"This is boring," Xiao Qiao declared for about the fourth time in the last hour.

Mei Zhou shook his head amusedly at himself. A while ago, he was thinking how he hated whiny girls, but some reason, Xiao Qiao's complains only sounded music to his ears.

Placing the weights he was using down, he turned an apologetic face to Xiao Qiao.

"Sorry, I know I shouldn't have dragged you in here."

Xiao Qiao shook her head. "No, you didn't drag me." She looked around the room once more. "I wanted to see this room too. I've seen almost all the rooms in this house, except this gym of yours anyway." Crunching up her nose in distaste she added, "But I guess, working out isn't really something I like watching."

Mei Zhou nodded. He walked over to sit beside her. Turning to her, he gave her a mocked hurt look. "Even if it's me who's working out?"

Xiao Qiao laughed. She reached over to push back a wet strand of hair from his eyes. "I'm sorry, after the first ten minutes, I got distracted already." Then taking the towel that was on his shoulder, she began to wipe his face.

As Xiao Qiao continued to fuss around him, Mei Zhou felt his heart beginning to swell. My god, why did he had to waste ten years of his life fooling around with girls when he could have been with Xiao Qiao all these years?

Trying to remind himself that he might ruin the pretty satin of her dress with his sweat-soaked body, he reluctantly decided with a short peck on the lips and tried not to press as close to her as he actually preferred.

Then pulling back, he smiled reassuringly at Xiao Qiao. "Don't worry, it's natural for girls not to be up into sweating up themselves."

Xiao Qiao laughed once more and as corny as it may sound, Mei Zhou was reminded of silver bells.

"Are you telling me, you've never met any girl who likes working out?" Mei Zhou shook his head. "Not one of your past 100 girlfriends?" she pressed.

Mei Zhou frowned. He met all of his flings at pubs, and his dates with them only consisted of the nightlife.

"No, not one," he said. "Unless," he added suddenly, "if you count Senda Aisha."

Xiao Qiao turned curious eyes up at him. "Senda Aisha? Is she Japanese? Who is she?"

Mei Zhou shrugged. "She's a girl I met about two years before. She's into dancing, and that's basically working out as well."

"You like to dance yourself," she pointed out thoughtfully after a while. There was something in Xiao Qiao's voice that Mei Zhou couldn't well understand.

"Yeah. So?"

"Nothing," Xiao Qiao whispered, turning away. "I just feel like you guys had a lot in common," she added casually without looking at him.

Mei Zhou shrugged once more. He did not understood why Xiao Qiao was asking this much. Aisha was a nice girl but he had not given her much thought at all in a long time. But since Xiao Qiao seemed interested to know about his fooling around times, he guessed he should be honest with her.

"We did had a lot of things in common," Mei Zhou finally agreed. "Dancing, I guess was the most obvious one though."

"I see." Xiao Qiao became silent for a while before she turned back to Mei Zhou and smiled teasingly. "Why did you break up then?"

For what seemed like the hundredth time that day, Mei Zhou shrugged. "We didn't really break up." He quickly began to shake his head with Xiao Qiao's incredulous look. "What I meant was, we were never really together anyway."

Brushing back her hair from her shoulders, Mei Zhou explained to Xiao Qiao, "I admit there was some chemistry between Aisha and me, we had hang out and had some fun together but we were never officially together. Then after a while, she had to leave for Japan and it just ended, I guess."

Xiao Qiao nodded. Lapsing into another silence, Mei Zhou grew worried. Xiao Qiao was really acting strange.

But before he could ask her what it was, she surprised him with her next words.

"Why don't I go work out with you tomorrow?"

Never. Never would she ever do this again, Xiao Qiao promised herself as she walked over to the couch.

"I feel sore all over!" she complained as she flopped down before Mei Zhou on the couch. Leaning her head back to rest on his shoulder, Xiao Qiao closed her eyes. "I feel like I could sleep for a week."

Wrapping his arms around her waist, Mei Zhou chuckled. "I warned you. But why the sudden interest in acquainting yourself with the gym work anyway?"

With eyes still close, Xiao Qiao sighed. It was her stupid reckless mind that had caused all of this.

It was during her talk with Mei Zhou yesterday that she realized that she and Mei Zhou had absolutely nothing in common.

Sure, they both came from rich and prominent families, but aside from that they were as similar as apples and oranges.

Mei Zhou has an energetic and out-going personality. Fun to him meant parties, pubs and dancing. She, with her quiet and introverted personality, liked to spend her time on operas, ballet and books.

It was really not that much of a problem, Xiao Qiao thought but after hearing how Mei Zhou himself admitting having fun with Senda Aisha, she suddenly felt somewhat insecure.

Though Mei Zhou would accompany her with her cello practice everytime, it doesn't mean he was enjoying it; so Xiao Qiao decided that they should at least find some thing to do that they could both enjoy.

But since she can't stand pubs, Xiao Qiao decided that maybe she should try out some gym work. But not half an hour with the pull-downs, Xiao Qiao's arms had already been protesting. Then and there, she knew it just wouldn't work. Her arms were made to play soothing cello music, not lift stupid gym weights.

Leaning back to settle more comfortable on Mei Zhou's shoulder, Xiao Qiao sighed again. She should start thinking of something else on what she and Mei Zhou could enjoy together. Working out was definitely out of the question.

Suddenly, an aching pain shot through her left arm as she pressed into it the wrong way while she tried to move; she winced in pain.

"My arms feels so heavy that I'm afraid that I may not be able to play my cello for a few days. I should've listened to you," she groaned.

"I'm sorry about that." Mei Zhou said as he turned his head so that his cheek could rest against her hair.

Though she wished she could enjoy the security Mei Zhou's presence gave her, Xiao Qiao couldn't. The effects of her energy lost were slowly sinking in. Even Mei Zhou's warmth was already masked by the call of sleep; she barely even felt how his hand took hers.

At the back of her mind, Xiao Qiao reminded herself that she needed to think about her dilemma at hand; but somehow she couldn't shake off the drowsy feeling invading her consciousness.

"Xiao Qiao?" came Mei Zhou's voice. His voice seemed so far away to Xiao Qiao's ears. "Really, why did you suddenly decide to work out with me?"

But Xiao Qiao never heard his last question; she had finally succumbed to sleep.

Why was it that time was too fast? It was the question Dao Ming Si was asking himself as he sat on the front steps in Shan Cai's house.

Dao Ming Si's watch indicated that in another ten minutes, the year would end and another one would start.

Shaking his head at the mystery of time, Dao Ming Si looked around; if it were a few years ago, he would have bragged that the place could fit in to his swimming pool. But now, here he was, sitting on these old steps, contented and as happy as he has ever been in his life.

And it seemed as if it was only yesterday when his whole life began to change. He could still remember it clearly; it was one spring afternoon on his sophomore year; everything was normal until a little freshman suddenly called him pig.

Shan Cai. Without knowing how it came about, his whole life started to revolve around her. Teasing her at school, thinking of ways to bully at night, slowly but surely, she had crept into his system.

And to admit that he was falling for an ordinary girl was no easy task, but at the end, he had to. But his problems only began with that.

Chasing after her, pursuing her endlessly and trying to win her love had become the sole meaning of his life.

Dao Ming Si smiled at his own memories. Though many obstacles were in the way, he finally won Shan Cai over at the end. The day outside McDonald's was the happiest day in his life.

Then just as quickly as his smile came it disappeared as Dao Ming Si felt a bit disappointed with himself.

His accident in Barcelona caused him to forget those wonderful memories he had shared with Shan Cai. Looking up at the sky, Dao Ming Si was suddenly reminded of Ye Sha.

Ye Sha. She was the one person who was there for him when Ah Xing thought he was all alone. Ah Xing had shared a lot with her; and that was why Dao Ming Si couldn't find it in his heart to blame Ah Xing for falling in love with her.

Looking back down, Dao Ming Si turned to stare at Shan Cai's back. She was setting up some fireworks to light. New Year was a few minutes away.

Before when he first fell in love with Shan Cai, he claimed that he'll never fall for anyone else. Though he hadn't meant to, he had betrayed that vow. Yet though he still felt remorseful sometimes, Dao Ming Si now realized that maybe his accident and all its consequences actually turned everything for the better.

Because now, after knowing how it was to be in love with someone else, Dao Ming Si had become more certain just how strong his feelings for Shan Cai were. Ah Xing may have loved Ye Sha but Dao Ming Si knew his love for Shan Cai was a hundred times over.

Also the accident had helped him to finally break free of his background. Away from his mother's clutches and the responsibility of inheriting the vast Dao Ming business empire, Dao Ming Si could now more openly love and care after Shan Cai all his life.

Slowly getting on his feet, Dao Ming Si began to walk up to Shan Cai. She was busy counting down the seconds that she didn't really notice him.

"Nineteen. . . eighteen. . . seventeen. . . "

Dao Ming Si stopped right behind her. Holding back the urge to feel her hair to get her attention, Dao Ming Si settled for calling her name instead.

"Shan Cai."

His voice came out very low and soft. Dao Ming Si thought she might not heard him because she continued counting away.

". . .fourteen. . . thirteen. . . twelve. . . "

Dao Ming Si sighed realizing how intent Shan Cai was on her counting. At that, a voice inside his head relented that maybe he should wait; but suddenly, another voice reminded him his wish to start the new year with a new life, a life to share forevermore with his Shan Cai.

". . . ten. . . nine. . . "

Taking a deep breath, Dao Ming Si touched the ring on his finger. On Shan Cai's left ring finger was the identical meteor ring. He may be only twenty-two but what was the use of waiting when he was sure that no other difficulty could separate them now anyway?

". . . six. . . "

He had wanted God's blessing on their love for a long time now, it was no time to be indecisive, he told himself.

". . . five. . . "

It was not like it was hard. All he had to do was say the words in his heart.

"I love you," Dao Ming Si finally heard himself say. Though his voice had come out clear and loud, inside he was as nervous as that day in the airport when he first asked Shan Cai to go out with him on a date.

Shan Cai stopped at the middle of saying the word 'four', caught surprise at Dao Ming Si's suddenness.

"I love you, Shan Cai," he repeated, voice full of emotion.

At the background, an oblivious Mr. And Mrs. Dong carry on with the count down.

"Two!" they shouted excitedly.

And as Dao Ming Si whispered his next words, everything else in the world except Shan Cai faded away.

"Marry me."

After those words left Dao Ming Si's mouth, the very first firework of the New Year lighted up the sky. It was too romantic to be coincidental. . . but maybe it was. . .

And as the night is filled with shouts of welcomes and wishes for a great year ahead, Shan Cai kept oblivious to it all. She just stood there, frozen in place and barely breathing.

Through her peripheral vision, Shan Cai caught sight of her parents grabbing each other's hand excitedly.

_Does that mean Dao Ming Si had really just ask me_ _what I thought he asked?_

Very slowly Shan Cai turned around to face Dao Ming Si. Until now it still amazes her how this once arrogant and obnoxious guy could stir up so many emotions inside of her. Just staring up at him like this was making her knees unsteady. And to be this close to him was making her each heartbeat stronger.

"Well?" Dao Ming Si asked uncertainly. . . hopefully.

With all her might, Shan Cai tried to open her lips but it seemed her mind had temporarily gone on leave. No words could come out from her mouth. Inside her was a jumbled mess of emotions and thoughts. . . it was making Shan Cai feel faint.

Seeing it was taking her forever to answer, her parents grow anxious.

"Shan Cai?" her mother called out worriedly. . . expectantly. . .

That finally snapped Shan Cai out of her trance. Regaining her ability of speech and locking eyes with Dao Ming Si, Shan Cai whispered back.

"Excuse me?"

And her anti-climatic reply caused her parents to almost stumble forward. Disappointment quickly came over into their faces. On the other hand, Dao Ming Si only frowned.

"Eh! Why are you so annoying? You're not asking me to repeat _it _again, are you?"

Shan Cai didn't say a thing but with her eyes, she pleaded with him that he do repeat the question again. She needed to hear it again. She needed to make sure her ears weren't playing tricks on her hearing.

Dao Ming Si sighed. "Fine, I'll say it again." Taking her hands and bringing them to his chest, he repeated his question.

"Marry me, Shan Cai."

Shan Cai stared at Dao Ming Si, blinking unbelievingly. _I heard it right. . . He's asking me to marry him. . . Dao Ming Si is really asking me to marry him. . . ._

But before Shan Cai could formulate any kind of response, Dao Ming Si leaned down and stopped her with a quick kiss.

Pulling away, smiling uncertainly down at her, Dao Ming Si squeezed Shan Cai's hands. "Before you say anything, I need to say something first."

Shan Cai could only nod mutely; silent tearswere already forming behind her eyes.

"I had meant to ask you this six months ago but I met an accident and made you went through so much pain. No, even before the accident, you already suffered a lot because of me. If I had just given up before, then you might have had a normal life. Because of me, my mom had made you go through hell."

"Dao Ming Si." Shan Cai heard her voice came out broken and low.

Dao Ming Si's eyes brightened with happiness. "And yet, even when I was lost, you waited faithfully. I know I had made you cry so many times by pushing you away after the accident. So right now all I want to say is thank you and I'm sorry. Thank you for never giving up on me and I'm sorry for making you cry."

That did it. A lonely tear that Shan Cai had been trying hard to stop finally fell.

Dao Ming Si. His English may be the worst and his Chinese may be pretty mess up sometimes but there really are times when Dao Ming Si's simple words could be more eloquent than any Shakespearian play.

_"If you say you didn't do it, then I'll believe you." _

_"I like you. I really really like you."_

_"I like you. I like you so much that I feel ridiculous. . . my eyes, they see only you. And even if you run, I'll follow you. Even to the ends of the earth and even in hell, surely I'll catch you because I really like you."_

And as these beautiful early memories with Dao Ming Si filled her mind, Shan Cai felt Dao Ming Si wiping the single tear that was coursing down her cheek.

"Don't cry. Please."

But seeing she was not going to stop crying anytime soon, Dao Ming Si grew worried, thinking it was all his fault. "Eh, please stop crying, Shan Cai. I know I'm being very annoying and assuming for asking you after all I had made you go through but I promise you, Shan Cai. I'll make you the happiest wife in the world. I can do it, I know I can."

Still, Shan Cai continued to cry.

"Shan Cai?" her father asked worriedly.

Dao Ming Si turned to them and implored, "Uncle Dong, Auntie Dong, I promise I'll make her happy! I don't know why she's crying but really I know I can make her happy! I'll protect her with my life!"

"We know," both parents replied wistfully.

Turning back to Shan Cai, his hand on hers tightened. "You'll never cry again, I'll make sure of it. No one can ever hurt you again, not even my mom."

And those words only opened more doors of tears.

_"Ma! I don't care about any other! Shan Cai is the only one I want to marry!"_

That had been the first time Dao Ming Si had fought his mom because of her. On his twentieth birthday, Dao Ming Si proclaimed in front of all those high-society people that he wanted only her. And now after more than two years, here he was, reaffirming those words.

"Dao Ming Si," Shan Cai whispered, finally ending her long silence. She smiled fondly at him. "Stop rambling. I'm only crying because I love you so much."

For the next few moments, Dao Ming Si stood frozen in place like a statue. After a while, as if waking up from a daze, he slowly encircled his arms around her waist, pressing her closely to him.

"Does that mean you'll-"

Not waiting for him to finish, Shan Cai wrapped her arms around his neck and then she pressed her lips against Dao Ming Si.

Six months ago when she had cried after reading Lei's letter to realize that Dao Ming Si had told her to meet him so that he can propose, she had said all he actually had to was open his mouth and it wouldn't have mattered to her. She would have given him the only reply her heart could give.

Pulling back, Shan Cai heard her parents sobbing in the background. She only had part of her attention on them, she was more fascinated at Dao Ming Si's expression.

In the whole of their relationship, there was only one time when she had initiated kissing Dao Ming Si. And like that first time, Shan Cai felt a little thrill to see his reaction.

His stunned yet happy expression was enough reward for her. Even if she lived to be a hundred, she'll never ever forget this type of expression from her pig head Dao Ming Si. She was determined to get the pleasure of seeing it for the rest of their lives.

Closing her eyes, Shan Cai leaned her head against his chest.

"Yes," she finally said after a while. Then lifting her face to stare at Dao Ming Si, she whispered her very soul's answer. "I will marry you."

**Next chapter: **As Xi Men and Xiao You tentatively start a new friendship, another relationship seemed to be falling apart. Just how would Mei Zhou deal if Xiao Qiao tells him, aside from their well-matched background, they are the most incompatible couple around? Between Xiao Qiao's and Mei Zhou's falling out and Xiao You and Tian Li's undisclosed thoughts, would the two loves survive? Find out next chap, in **Between Secrets and Lies.**

**AN: **I LOVE JERRY YAN!!! err what I meant to say wassee you in a week or two guys! Thanks for reading! Please do leave your comments. Please! As of right now, this is my fav chap(I lived for sc and dms's love!) Reviews would mean a lot but violent reactions are also welcome!


	7. Between Secrets and Lies

**Disclaimer: **Nope, I still don't own neither MG nor HYD. But maybe one day. . . when jerry and I are married, I can ask him to buy it off for me. . . then we'll rewrite it and have tsukasa/ah si meet and fall in love with a girl based on me instead. . . hahahaa. . . me an my crazy delusions, I'm probably scaring you guys, so okay I'll stop now. . .

**Shopps:** hehe. no need to thank me! i should be the one thanking u for reviewing.  
salamat din po! anyways, i didnt make jerry happy, i dont think i can make a story  
otherwise anyway. hehe, i know i'm biased. but what can i do? i'm too obsessed with  
that guy. anyways, about the couples, hmmm. . . you have to read to find out. hehe.  
tnx for reviewing. me happy that you found my fic.

Chapter Seven: **Between Secrets and Lies**

Two days after that fateful midnight when Dao Ming Si asked her to be his wife, a glowing Shan Cai fell back on Xiao You's bed, sighing happily.

"I still can't believe that I'm really engaged," Shan Cai heard herself murmuring for what seemed like the hundredth time in the last two days.

She knew she sounded absolutely lovestruck when she was never soft on anything remotely romantic, so Shan Cai couldn't blame how Xiao You suddenly burst out in a fit of giggles.

Frowning, Shan Cai bolted upright from her position. She half-pouted at Xiao You who was sitting by her vanity table.

"What?" Shan Cai asked. Xiao You's laughter was making her feel uneasy. Had she really sounded positively lunatic for Xiao You to laugh so much?

Probably seeing the panic in her eyes, Xiao You shook her head and smiled reassuringly at Shan Cai. "I'm sorry, Shan Cai, I didn't mean to laugh." Reaching to open the jewelry box on her table, Xiao You continued, "It's just that I was remembering how you once told me that you'll never let 'dowager empress' be your mother-in-law." Xiao You smiled teasingly, "Now, not even three years after, here you are engaged to her son!"

Shan Cai shrugged, "Well technically, she would still be my mother-in-law but that 'dowager empress' has pushed Dao Ming Si over the edge, he never wants to come back to that cold house so I guess it won't really matter. She can't annoy me if I don't see her."

Xiao You laughed once more; Shan Cai suddenly felt a cold shiver, she had a bad feeling that she said something very wrong.

"Are you saying that if Dao Ming Si returns home, you wouldn't want to marry him anymore?"

"Of course not!" Shan Cai unthinkingly cried out vehemently. "I don't care about his mother! I want to be with Dao Ming Si, if it meant facing and fighting his mother then I'll do it! I love hi-. . . " Trailing off Shan Cai realized she had said too much after seeing the knowing smile on Xiao You's face. It was even wider than the Pacific!

Blushing profusely, Shan Cai looked away. "I said too much, didn't I?"

"Yeah," Xiao You agreed. Then shaking her head, she continued, "But it's okay, really."

Though Xiao You said that, Shan Cai spirits didn't lift.

Smiling at the sulky faced Shan Cai, Xiao You added as she looked something inside her hewelry box, "I don't think Dao Ming Si will find you less cute if you become more. . . well open sometimes."

A single muscle fiber at the corner of Shan Cai's mouth began to twitch. Then suddenly, Xiao You was giggling again, Shan Cai turned back to her, one eyebrow raised questioningly.

Xiao You shook her head, "I'm sorry but I just can't stop thinking about those times when you would deny, even to yourself, that you like Dao Ming Si."

"Like when?" Shan Cai challenged confidently.

Xiao You smiled, accepting the challenge. "Like when Dao Ming Si got engaged to Xiao Zi. You came back to the shop, ranting and fuming about him making you look like a fool."

"Well, I-" Shan Cai began, fumbling for an excuse. She could feel her cheeks were burning again.

"It's okay, Shan Cai," Xiao You interrupted before she could say anything more. "It's just me. Even you didn't admit them, I knew. I guess friends kinda sense this things."

"Oh?"

"Yeah," Xiao You replied, absent-mindedly playing with something in her hand.

At that moment, Shan Cai found a way to turn the course of teasing around. She had been watching Xiao You holding a strange necklace in her hand for a while now. Just now, she had a glimpse of the pendant. She smiled inwardly realizing it was the one Xi Men must have given her.

Yes. It was time to get to business.

"Yes, I guess a friend do know these things," Shan Cai echoed. Then very innocently she added, "So how are you and Xi Men?"

A sudden blush overcame Xiao You's face. It was a score for the Operation Bring Xi Men and Xiao You Together.

"Me and Xi Men, what do you mean?" Xiao You asked. She looked very flustered.

Shan Cai shrugged, still acting out with an innocent face. "Nothing." She pointed at the butterfly necklace in Xiao You's hand, "Isn't that a gift from Xi Men, I think Dao Ming Si said something about accompanying Xi Men to get something."

Still blushing, Xiao You quickly dropped the necklace on the table. "Oh okay. Well, yeah. This is the necklace."

Shan Cai nodded in understanding. Clasping her hands together in front of her, she said with a pretend childlike glee, "I'm glad the things between you and Xi Men are going well."

Xiao You looked away, nodding; she was still blushing.

"So when is the wedding?"

Xiao You jerked back to Shan Cai with a speed faster than light. Xiao You's priceless expression was definitely another score on the matchmaking operation.

"Excuse me?"

Trying not to smile, Shan Cai explained plainly. "The wedding. Don't tell me you and _Tian Li_ still haven't been preparing. It'll be on the last week of February right?"

Smiling in understanding, Xiao You nodded. "Yes. It's on my birthday, the twenty-first." Blushing a little, she continued, "Tian Li and I are still finalizing the guest list and the invitation but. . . um our couturier will be coming over to take our measurements tomorrow."

Shan Cai nodded, watching the restless Xiao You and decided to finally take pity on her. The teasing for today was enough.

"Well preparing a big wedding is really hard." Wrinkling her nose, Shan Cai added, "Dao Ming Si and I will be having a small wedding, and just thinking about it is tiring enough, what more in a big wedding, no?"

Xiao You nodded. She looked absolutely grateful that the direction of the conversation had shifted away from Xi Men.

"Yeah, it is tiring," Xiao You admitted.

"Well you guys need a break."

An incredulous look passed over Xiao You and Shan Cai had to laughed. That was another point but it wasn't intentional in her part.

"What I meant was you guys need to relax a little." Smiling Shan Cai said the reason of her visit, "There'll be small celebration over at Dao Ming Si's apartment tonight. He insists on partying for our engagement. I think the easy mood is what you and Tian Li need. You have to be there Xiao You." As an after thought, she added, "Please?"

It was a few seconds before Xiao You smiled.

"Okay. I'm sure Tian Li wouldn't mind."

Shan Cai smiled widely. Though she wished the best for Operation Bring Xi Men and Xiao You Together, her heart's first priority now was her Dao Ming Si. Tonight they'll be celebrating their engagement and Shan Cai wanted all her friends to be there. Of course Xiao You had to be there, even if it means she'll have to Tian Li along too.

Still smiling, once more Shan Cai fell back on the bed; she looked like a giddy fourteen year old with a major crush.

"I'm engaged!" she shouted for the world to hear.

--------------------------

"You looked like a nerd."

Startled from the sudden voice in her room, Jing looked up from her thick Civil Law book and turned to the direction of the door. She found Hua Zhe Lei there, slightly smiling amusedly.

Never did Jing thought she can ever grin at Lei in a sheepish and casual way, yet today she did. "Is that how you greet now? 'You looked like a nerd?'"

Lei shrugged and walked over to sit beside her in the bed; they sat side by side that their shoulders were almost touching. Lei knew it was too close than he usually had ever dared to sit next to her but he shook off that feeling and turned to focus on Jing instead.

She smelled really nice; no jasmine this time, only the faint scent of her soap and freshly shampooed hair. And her hair though pinned in a granny's bun had some loose strands softly framing her face prettily. Lei smiled inwardly, it's been more than ten years since he last saw Jing without the slightest touch of make-up, but still she looked very lovely. Yes. She was the loveliest nerd.

"All you need is a big spectacles and the look is complete," Lei said jokingly, smiling at Jing. He earned a playful slap on his arm from her for that.

"You sure know how to compliment a girl," she said in annoyance. For a moment Lei though she was seriously insulted but there was mirth in her eyes and he instantly knew was just fooling around.

Fooling around. . . Lei shook his head inwardly. Never had their whole relationship ever turned to that of a casual and playful direction. His feelings for her not had permitted it. Before, when inside the same room as her, he would pay more attention on admiring her and making sure to do everything the way she did – flawless and ideal. Because of this, never had they had enough chance to really bond – not like the way he and Shan Cai bonded.

Shan Cai. It was strange to find himself thinking about her and not feel the pain he always used to feel for her. The pain he had told Ah Mei about. The pain of understanding Shan Cai.

The moment they got engaged, Dao Ming Si called him to announce his good news and Lei felt nothing but happiness and good hopes for the two. Dao Ming Si and Shan Cai belong to each other; Lei knew that more than anyone else.

Still looking at Jing's eyes, Lei found himself thinking that with her, it was a different kind of pain he used to feel. It was more like a deep ache of intense longing. A longing of always trying to reach something that seemed so unreachable.

But now Jing was so close. Sitting next to her, all he had to do was reach over and he would be touching her face just like the way he had always wanted. His heart beginning to thump faster, Lei's eyes slowly drifted down to Jing's softly curved lips. They were the same lips he had always yearned to kiss.

Suddenly the next moment, Lei felt an invincible force pulling him towards Jing. He chose not to fight it, he let himself leaned into her millimeter by sweet millimeter. . .

But just as quickly as that force urged him towards Jing, it disappeared just as promptly as Jing suddenly turned away to burry her head in her fat leather-bound book. You'd think it was the Bible the way she was drinking in its words.

Watching Jing closely, Lei wondered whether she realized what he was about to do yet chose to evade his kiss or it could be that she was still oblivious to his feelings just like before. Either way, it was greatly disappointing.

But then again, maybe it was for the better. In his life, he had kissed only two girls. Jing was the first during that time at the cruise ship. After teasing him, he had fought back by finally admitting his feelings for her and in a pure impulse, he leaned over to kiss her. At the end he found out those blissful few seconds of pleasure only brought him more pain, finding out the kiss had not really mean anything to her.

Then his next disastrous impulsive moment was with Shan Cai. She was crying and she looked so willing to share his pain; after the unthinking kiss, he ended up with a sore cheek. Dao Ming Si wasn't a black-belter for judo, karate and ai-kido for nothing.

But his second well thought about kiss with Shan Cai turned out into a less disastrous one though. Yes, he ended getting very much hurt but at the very least when he kissed her that time, he understood his own feelings. He wanted to kiss her, wanted Shan Cai to know he was there for her. . . though she loved Ah Si, at least Lei was able to express his own feelings.

Yes that was it. Until he figured out these strange new feelings he had for Jing, he should rather keep everything between them the way they are now. After all, who knew what another impulsive kiss could lead?

Finally after a few seconds of silently mulling over, Lei cut off the awkward mood with his casual question. "So what are you reading anyway?"

Glancing briefly up at him, Jing explained. "It's for my civil law."

Lei blinked at her. For a moment, he forgot that she was only back for a vacation. . . that she only returned for Tian Li's wedding.

"You mean you're still going back to Paris?" Lei heard his voice came out monotonous and distant.

This time when Jing looked up, she risked eye contact with him. His voice and expression was really weird. It almost seemed he was somehow affected; but in whatever way, Jing didn't know.

"Of course. Since I can't take my finals this end of January, I've arranged it with my professors that I take it when I come back after the wedding sometime in late February."

Lei stared deeply at her soulful eyes and searched for hidden answers there. Had she really given up being Teng Tang Jing? Could nothing really ever change her mind? He couldn't three years ago. . . what made him think he could now. . . ?

"What about m-" Catching himself, Lei said instead, "What about your parents?"

Jing sighed sadly. Closing her book, she leaned back on the headboard, "I know they're hoping that I would stay. They still haven't given up the thought that one day I'll change my mind and inherit our company instead." Closing her eyes, Jing continued, "I really don't want to disappoint them again but I've long decided this."

A few seconds of silence followed before Jing opened her eyes again and straightening her back, Jing stared on her far wall, eyes clear and distant, "Though I would admit, a few months back I had thoughts of coming back, after this vacation I already missed my work and school. I even missed by intimidating professors. . . I guess before when I wanted to return, it was just a phase." Then turning to Lei, Jing frowned. "Lei, what's wrong?"

She reached over to put a hand on his knotted neck muscles. "What's with that look? You looked really weird."

Lei didn't know how he looked but he couldn't help it anyway. Not after hearing Jing say _those _words. It was almost the same as admitting that all that happened in Barcelona was nothing to her. . .

Her desire to come back to Taiwan then was just a phase. . . does that mean her feelings for him too were just a phase as well?

But wait. It's not like she had admitted feelings for him then. . . She asked for his opinion. . . that didn't mean his opinion mattered to her. . .

Suddenly Lei's thoughts were pleasantly interrupted as Jing's fingers began to massage his tensed shoulders. The trail of warmth left by her hands was simply amazing.

"You looked so cute when you're serious," Jing whispered, smiling lazily. She laughed teasingly, "If I didn't know better, I'd think you'll miss me that's why you're like this."

Lei turned his eyes to Jing. She was smiling and he knew she wasn't serious but the truth was she was actually right. Visiting her once in a while this past two weeks had been a wonderful comfort for him and maybe for her too; after she leaves, Lei knew he'll definitely miss her. Terribly miss her.

"Yes, Jing. I'll miss you. Very much," he added seriously before he could stop himself.

A completely surprised look over came Jing's features. She pulled her hands away, pupils disbelievingly big. Lei could feel his heart thumping in anticipation. Either she pretend she didn't hear the meaning in his words and play along like it was just a joke or she accept this small confession from him and be honest with her feelings too.

Slowly, the corners of Jing's lips curved into a smile. Leaning forward, she buried her head into the strong curve of Lei's neck. "I'll miss you too," she whispered very softly, lips slightly grazing the bare skin there.

And with that, Lei's arms automatically went around her. He pulled her as close as possible, not minding the dull ache it caused on his arms.

Even though he couldn't read behind her words. . . all he knew was Jing was telling the truth. She'll miss him too. . . that was good enough for him.

Heart beating steadily on his ribcage, Lei leaned forward to bury his head on her fragrant hair. Never before had he let himself touch Jing like this. Before it would always be Jing who would hold her arms around him to give him warmth and comfort, but never the other way around.

Right now it didn't matter if he was being impulsive. . . it didn't matter if he wasn't thinking straight. . . and even if he was risking his heart again at that moment, it didn't really matter then. . . Right now to have his arms around Jing was all that mattered. . . This time it was him who was giving her warmth and comfort. . . For the first time, he felt that Jing needed him. . . he wanted to prolong this precious moment as long as possible. . .

Yes. He'll worry about her departure when it comes. . .

. . . he'll wonder about this new feelings for her later. . .

. . . he'll think about what's on her mind afterwards. . .

. . . right now, all he wanted was to enjoy having his arms around Jing. . .

-------------------------

"So how's it going?" Dao Ming Si asked his buddy as he sat down next to him. Xiao You had just stolen away Shan Cai so he decided to catch up with Xi Men while his fiancée talked to her best friend.

Xi Men shrugged as he drank his wine. Dao Ming Si warily watched his movements.

"Still not okay?"

Xi Men turned to him and frowned. "What makes you say that?"

Dao Ming Si rolled his eyes. He motioned to where Xiao You stood next to Tian Li. "Because those two are standing there together while you sulk on this sofa, watching Xiao You like a faithful puppy?"

Xi Men snorted and lightly hit his chest. "You know what? You have a very crude humor, Ah Si."

Dao Ming Si shrugged. It was just immensely pleasing to tease Xi Men. Xi Men who used to always bug him about girls and endlessly tease him being a virgin; rubbing it to his face that he, Dao Ming Si was engaged to the woman he loved while he, Xi Men was not was left pinning for the apple of his eyes was definitely nice.

Shaking his head, Dao Ming Si remembered that the woman he loved was determined on set up Xi Men and Xiao You. He could tease Xi Men but he had to help him out too.

"Anyway, what happened with the necklace plan? Tell me a little," Dao Ming Si urged Xi Men.

He sighed. "She liked the necklace." After a moment, he added dejectedly, "But I've never seen her wear it once since Christmas. She's smiling at me again and has become a little more civil but I don't think Xiao You's planning on leaving my brother anytime soon."

Dao Ming Si stared at Xi Men, face aghast. "And you're not doing anything?" Xi Men stared back at him dumbly; Dao Ming Si sighed. "Must I dictate everything for you to follow? Do you want to win her back or don't you?"

"Of course I want to!" Xi Men exclaimed passionately. "But I. . . I just don't know what to do," he admitted.

Dao Ming Si shook his head. "You, Lei and Mei Zhou are all like this. I don't know where all your heads are right now. You don't have to know what to do, just do it! Be more persistent!" Motioning towards where Lei sat with Mei Zhou, he continued. "Lei, that slow guy. You'd think he could have at least convinced Jing more to go here tonight."

"Huh? But Jing said she was sick."

Dao Ming Si scoffed at Xi Men's excuse. "Sick? Have you ever seen Jing sick?" Xi Men thought over it for a moment before shaking his head. "See? I think she made that up. What Lei should have done was persuade her some more, eventually she might have given in." Wrinkling his perfect straight nose, Dao Ming Si added, "And there's Mei Zhou. I don't know what it was, but he must have done something that's why Xiao Qiao isn't here today."

Xi Men nodded, he too noticed Xiao Qiao's declining interest in Mei Zhou lately. Wasn't it just two weeks ago when Mei Zhou was complaining some sort of Xiao Qiao withdrawal syndrome?

Xi Men bit his lip thoughtfully. He hated to admit it but once more, Dao Ming Si could be right. After all, his never-ending determination finally got stubborn Shan Cai to yield, right?

"So you think I should be more pushy towards Xiao You? Wouldn't that scare her away?" Xi Men asked while his eyes remained fixed on Xiao You who was brushing Tian Li's locks away from his forehead.

Dao Ming Si nodded. "Definitely." He cringed a little as Shan Cai's mom, who was seated in front of the TV, singing videoke, hit another wrong note. "But if you really want to take it slowly, just be a bit more friendly." Frowning Dao Ming Si added, "But yes, don't overdo it, okay? If you throw her down the bed, she'll definitely get scared."

Though he was very serious, Xi Men couldn't help but laugh.

"That's not what I meant by being more pushy but still, wow! I never thought I'd hear this kind of talk from Virgin Ah Si!" Xi Men said. He was laughing so hard, he was gasping for air.

Dao Ming Si growled at Xi Men; he just had to bring that up, did he? So what if he was a virgin? He'd rather be than do 'it' with just anyone; just thinking about it was appalling enough, much more the act.

As he cursed as to how infuriating Xi Men was, he was jolted off his thoughts as Xi Men nudged him lightly.

"But oh I forgot, in a few months you're finally getting some."

At first, Dao Ming Si was at lost at that. Xi Men tilted his head pointedly and Dao Ming Si followed his gaze. It was Shan Cai walking up to them.

Shan Cai. His Shan Cai was soon to be his wife. When he asked her to marry him, all he was thinking was that she was his life and he wanted to be with her till the end of time; he never thought about all the implications that comes along with marriage. Now realizing all those implications brought immediate blood into Dao Ming Si's face.

"Hey, what's up?" Shan Cai asked as she reached them. The moment she looked at Dao Ming Si, she noticed his ripe-tomato face. "Eh, Dao Ming Si, are you okay? Your face is so red."

Embarrassed beyond belief, Dao Ming Si quickly looked away. "Eh, I'm fine." Getting on his feet, he half-mumbled an excuse.

"I think I drank too much wine."

With face still red as China's great flag, he quickly walked off. Behind him, Dao Ming Si could hear Xi Men's amused and annoying laughter.

-----------------------------

Her laughter was invigorating.

The man beside her couldn't help but leaned closer, taking more of that infectious lilting sound.

Mei Zhou was tightening fist more each second as he watched the said man move closer to _his_ Xiao Qiao.

Who in damnation was this guy and why was Xiao Qiao with him? About four hours ago, Xiao Qiao declined Dao Ming Si and Shan Cai's invitation for a small gathering over at Ah Si's apartment for the celebration of their engagement, saying 'something important came up' and now, he finds her here in a quaint little French café laughing familiarly with some nameless guy? Was this her 'something important' excuse?

Sure. Some of Xiao Qiao's music friends were with them but still that wasn't an excuse to have the damn guy sit next to Xiao Qiao.

And it was pure chance how he met this bothersome sight. He was on his way home, after he made some excuse to Ah Si that he was not feeling well, when he passed by the small café. Seeing the deliciously displayed breads by the window, Mei Zhou thought of stopping over to buy some croissant for his little sisters.

Everything went well until he finished paying for his purchase. That was when he heard the melodious laugh he had come to adore. Craning his head to look inside the café that's when he spotted his girlfriend sitting with her music pals and _beside _some unknown guy.

All the blood rushed into his head, watching the guy wolfishly staring at Xiao Qiao. He could murder him now!

Forgetting the bag of bread for his sisters, Mei Zhou stealthily strode through the doors and towards the right side wall where the group of musicians was all having fun.

"Xiao Qiao."

At the sound of his voice, Xiao Qiao promptly looked up.

"Mei Zhou." Smiling sweetly, she quickly got on her feet to give his cheek a peck. Triumphantly, Mei Zhou smiled inwardly to see the _nameless guy _looked away, embarrassed.

"How did you find me here?" Xiao Qiao asked as one slender hand was caught into Mei Zou's own hand.

"I was buying some bread when I saw you guys through the door," Mei Zhou explained smoothly. He turned to the group and smiled. "Can I borrow my _girlfriend_ for a while?" he asked, emphasizing the word 'girlfriend'.

The group of artist all nodded their head politely. Without another word, Mei Zhou half-dragged Xiao Qiao towards the opposite side of the café. Only when they reached the farthest left wall did Mei Zhou released his death-grip on Xiao Qiao's hand.

"What's with you?" she asked, lightly rubbing her hand. The action didn't fail to go unnoticed by Mei Zhou.

"Are you okay? Does it hurt much?" he asked worriedly. Even though he asked that, he already knew the answer. "I'm sorry," he added, softly, remorsefully.

Xiao Qiao smiled reassuringly. "It's okay," she said. Then turning her smile to a teasing one, she laughed, "I don't think you broke it, so it's okay, I think I can still play my cello."

Mei Zhou half-smiled at her joke. Sometimes, it still irked him how special her cello was to her. Sure, he knew about the story about the cello and him; but Xiao Qiao had been with her cello for years, sometimes he still felt like the inanimate object was even closer and more special to her than he was.

Clearing the silly thoughts off his mind, Mei Zhou asked, "What are you doing here?"

Xiao Qiao shrugged. "Shouldn't I be asking you that? Shouldn't you be over Shan Cai and Dao Ming Si's small party?"

"I left early," Mei Zhou explained, hastily. He didn't want to add the fact that he was missing her throughout the party, that's why he left; she'll probably call him crazy if she knew that. He stared seriously at her, "Now answer me, why are you here? And who is _that_ guy?"

"What gu-" Then in understanding way, Xiao Qiao amended, "Oh you mean Charles?"

"Yeah, whatever, who is he?" Mei Zhou asked, leaning closer to Xiao Qiao forcing her to lean backwards until her back pushing against the wall.

Her face reddening attractively, Xiao Qiao lightly pushed Mei Zhou away. "Mei Zhou!" She looked around the café, "what are you doing? People might see us and misunderstand."

Sighing wearily, Mei Zhou pulled away to give her some space. He has forgotten Xiao Qiao wasn't the kind of girl he used to go out with, she wasn't one who likes to be get some attention from the public. After the blush on her face lightened a little, that was the time Mei Zhou decided to speak again, "Now can you please tell me who this Charles is before I go crazy?"

Xiao Qiao shrugged, "He's a friend from music school, he was my classmate at some classes. He visited some of his relatives in the Philippines and decided to stop over here in Taipei before going back to America." Her eyebrows creased in confusion, "What are getting so worked up for?"

As if he didn't hear her question, Mei Zhou raged on, "Just a friend? I saw how he was looking at you, Xiao Qiao!"

With that Xiao Qiao blushed again. She bit her lip, before continuing, "Fine, I admit, he asked me out several times but-"

"You said no, right?" Mei Zhou cut on, not waiting for her to finish.

Xiao Qiao's eyes widen in shock. "Mei Zhou! I know I've already told you about my infatuation with you ever since but I was in college, I don't think it was wrong if I went out once in a while."

Mei Zhou tried to retort but no words came into his mouth. Of course, she was right. After all, wasn't he worse by going from one girl to another back at college himself?

Mei Zhou took a deep breath, "Fine, I'm sorry. I guess I'm just a little frustrated. You didn't want to go to Ah Si and Shan Cai's party then I see you here enjoying yourself with those guys."

"Those guys are my friends too, Mei Zhou," Xiao Qiao said, staring directly back at him.

"I know but if you really wanted to go with them, you could have just told me, I would have been happy to go with you."

Xiao Qiao shrugged. "Somehow, I doubt that." With that, Xiao Qiao pushed away to walked back to her friends but a hand on her arm stopped her.

"What's that? What's that suppose to mean?"

Xiao Qiao sighed warily. "It's nothing, it's just that lately I've been thinking about us and how we're so much of a mismatched couple."

Mei Zhou's eyes went incredulously wide. "What are you talking about? Our families are-"

Xiao Qiao cut him off as she lightly shook herself off his grip. "I mean aside from that, we know we're well-matched in that department, that's why our parents are very much happy with our relationship. What I meant was personality-wise."

Mei Zhou stared back at Xaio Qiao dumbly, his mouth hanging opened.

Xiao Qiao continued, "I mean, you like funky and rap music while I can only stand classical ones. You like to party while I hate large crowds." Rolling her eyes, Xiao added in mock seriousness "You say 'sel-lo' while I say 'she-lo'."

"Xiao Qiao-" Mei Zhou began.

Xiao Qiao shook her head, interrupting him. "Look, I'm sorry for saying those things. I don't want to sound ungrateful because I am." Reaching over to touch his face, she continued, "I'm touched that you would patiently listen and wait for my every cello practice and you've been so nice to my friends too but this time, I thought it would be better if I didn't invite you. I don't think you would appreciate much about our debate over Mozart and Beethoven."

She said those last lines jokingly but Mei Zhou could tell they both knew it was the truth. The realization seemed to slap Mei Zhou right in the face.

Xiao Qiao was right. They had nothing in common; their opposite preferences even goes right up to clothes and food. He likes to experiment with his attires – from hip to colorful funky shirts; Xiao Qiao, on the other hand, only likes just the basic wares – black dresses and white shirts. When it comes to food, Mei Zhou liked those heavy greased food served in bars and pubs, Xiao Qiao loved the freshly baked goods from quiet cafes like this.

As he stood there like a statue, Xiao Qiao watched him closely as she pulled away. She could tell her words affected him greatly but the words had been said, she can't pretend otherwise.

Giving his hand an affectionate squeeze, Xiao Qiao excused herself, saying she needed to go back to her friends.

And though he wanted to call her, Mei Zhou didn't at the end. He just let her walked away.

-------------------------

"What are you doing here? A groom isn't supposed to see his bride in her wedding gown until the wedding!"

Tian Li shrugged and to Xiao You's mortification, he continued right into her room.

Gaping at him, Xiao You watched as Tian Li sat on the side of her bed; then he smiled amusedly up at her. "I don't exactly think seeing the bride being measured and getting draped with different fabrics for her gown is the same as seeing her in her wedding gown."

Xiao You pouted but inwardly she smiled. Okay, she had to admit her fiancée was probably right about that. Besides, there's nothing that could happen in the next six weeks that could stop the wedding. . .

Yup. Nothing could stop the wedding, her fiancée's eyes assured her that. And as Xiao You lost herself in Tian Li's intense gaze, she became certain that he was ready to battle anything for the two of them. . .

Then before she could think more on that matter, she was jolted back to the present as she felt the woman working on her began to remove the white sheets of silks on her.

"That's it, Ms. Xiao You, we're done," the woman said, smiling pleasantly.

Xiao You nodded, she walked over to sit next to her fiancée as the woman and her two assistants arranged their things.

Finally, after they had packed everything, the woman turned back to Xiao You. "Well, Ms. Xiao You and Mr. Tian Li, that's everything. We would be back after two weeks so Ms. Xiao You can try out the bodice. We need to make sure it fits perfectly on her before we start on the bead work."

Xiao You and Tian Li thanked the woman and her assistants, then Xiao You turned to her personal maid and asked her to show the three ladies the way out. In a few seconds, she and Tian Li were the left by themselves in the room.

Turning playfully to her fiancée, Xiao You joked, "So what is it do you want this time?"

Tian Li laughed. "I wanted to propose something, I'm feeling bored."

Xiao You pursed her lips and pretended to be thinking hard. "You want to play backgammon?" Tian Li smiled and shook his head. "Bridge?"

Tian Li rolled his eyes. "I hate bridge."

Xiao You smiled then snapped her fingers playfully. "I know! You wanted to play checkers!"

With that Tian Li laughed again. Xiao You smiled at herself, it was a wonderful feeling to be able to make someone that was most of the time reserved laugh.

Fondly pinching her cheek lightly, Tian Li whispered, "Nope, I don't think I can handle the embarrassment of losing again."

His words were whispered right at her ear, and Xiao You instantly felt her body respond. She knew Tian Li well, she knew the intimate act was nothing but innocent to him but still Xiao You felt her whole face reddening.

And oblivious to his effect on her, Tian Li pulled her closer so he can bury his head on her shoulder. Xiao You's hand automatically went around him.

In the stillness of her room, Xiao You and Tian Li held each other, completely contented.

"I want to paint you," Tian Li whispered all of a sudden.

His words were whispered against her hair muffling it, Xiao You thought she might have heard him wrong.

"What?"

Gently pulling away, Tian Li stared at Xiao You before repeating his words. "I want to paint you."

Xiao You blinked at her fiancée. Paint her? Whatever for?

As if reading her mind, Tian Li brushed a stray strand of hair from her shoulder. "Because an artist tells the world about his feelings through his works." He leaned over to kiss the tip of her nose before continuing, "I'm an artist and I want the world to know my feelings."

"Feelings for me?" Xiao You asked, uncertainly. . . timidly. Tian Li nodded and at that moment, Xiao You had never felt so touched by anyone before.

Yes an artist does tell the world his feelings through works that's why when they first met, Xiao You had been intimidated by Teng Tang Jing's obvious affect on Tian Li. Portraits by endless portraits of Jing could be seen in Tian Li's sketchpads and canvases. Even ordinary notebooks used more often for doodles were filled with Jing's smiling face.

But obviously Tian Li has put all those in the past. He had said it many times before, he loved her now and he really did mean it. To be loved this much sometimes made Xiao You feel ashamed, she didn't deserve this love from him; no, not when half of the time, her heart was torn.

"Thank you," Xiao You finally managed to say, her lips trembling and eyes watering.

Probably confused with her reaction, Tian Li pulled her closer and gently stroked her arms. In this silent manner of his, Xiao You found a great solace and she calmed down after a while.

Then finally after a few minutes, Xiao You pulled away so she can smile at her fiancée. "Let's go?"

Tian Li returned her smile. Then they both got on their feet, halfway to the door, Tian Li stopped.

"What is it? You're not thinking of changing your mind are you?" Xiao You asked playfully.

Tian Li shook his head, "No, I was just thinking if you could wear that some necklace or anything." Pulling her towards the vanity table, Tian Li added, "You're beautiful enough but a beautiful piece of jewelry would really compliment you."

Reaching the vanity table, Tian Li quickly spotted a necklace she had forgotten to put back on her jewelry box. Xiao You then watched with horrified eyes as Tian Li picked up the butterfly necklace Xi Men had given her. Oh gods, she was usually very orderly. How could she have not put the necklace away? And now Tian Li saw the very thing she wanted to hide from him.

"Wow. This is beautiful," Tian Li exclaimed, impressed. Knowing he would be as thrilled if he finds out the giver of the necklace, Xiao You felt her tongue in knots.

Oblivious to internal battle within her, Tian Li asked right on. "Did you buy this yourself?"

Not wanting to lie, Xiao You stammered out a soft no.

"So it's a gift then?"

But before make out any reply, Tian Li turned to her and then smiling first, he reached over to put the necklace on her. The motion brought more guilt into Xiao You, remembering how Xi Men clasped the very necklace around her neck too before. Like before, the butterfly pendant nestled comfortably between her breasts and right on top of her beating heart.

Staring down at her, Tian Li gave in to a satisfied beam. "Perfect," he whispered. "Better than perfect."

Leaning down, he gave Xiao You a soft kiss. The swirl of warmth tingling on her lips brought both pain and pleasure within Xiao You.

And yet even when Tian Li pulled away, she couldn't find the courage to open up and tell him the truth. Her mind was shouting that she had to be honest but her lips didn't form the words. Couldn't form the words.

And so with forbidden tears forming behind her eyes, Xiao You silently let Tian Li pull her out of her room. Across the long hallways and then down the great staircase, she remained silent. And even when they finally walked through Tian Li's studio, Xiao You offered no words of confession.

It was the fourth of January and in six weeks time, she would be Mrs. Xi Men Tian Li. Day by day, Xiao You was finding out she was not deserving of that title. . .

And as Xiao You sat there, posing for this wonderful and sensitive artist, Xiao You felt the biggest irony in the world. . .

There, sitting not more than ten feet from her was Tian Li; with paintbrush in hand, Tian Li was drawing out and expressing to the world the feelings in his heart. . .

His feelings were the best gift she had ever received in her lifetime. . . and yet, here she sat, wearing closest to her heart someone else's gift. . .

-------------------------

Xi Men Zhong er Lang walked through their home's enormous double doors, his mind was set on having a late afternoon tea with Xiao You.

Be a bit more pushy. That's what Dao Ming Si advised him to do. Xi Men had decided to stop being contended with Xiao You's casual smiles. Though there was an atmosphere of awkward between them, he wouldn't let that get in the way.

Right. Xiao You may be his brother's fiancée but that wasn't stopping him to fight for his chance.

If he had a chance. . .

Clearing that annoying thought, Xi Men smiled as he spotted Xiao You on the first step up the grand staircase.

"Xiao You!" he called after her, running towards the foot of the stairs.

Xi Men saw her sigh before turning to him. There was a wary look in her eyes.

"What it is?"

The expression in Xiao You threw him that Xi Men was almost tempted to say nothing but behind his ears, Xi Men heard Dao Ming Si's bossy voice.

_Be more pushy. . . be more pushy. . . be more pushy. . ._

Taking a deep breath, Xi Men smiled as warmly as he could. "I'm having some tea, I'm hoping you can join me."

A look of worry came to Xiao You's eyes. She smiled apologetically and shook her head. "I'm sorry, I'm not really up for it."

With that, Xiao You turned around once more to continue up the stairs. Automatically, Xi Men's hand grabbed for her wrist.

"Xiao You, wait!"

A reluctant Xiao You turned back to him. She opened her mouth to speak but Xi Men cut her off.

"Please, Xiao You?" he pleaded. "I thought we are friends again," he added. Xi Men knew he sounded pathetic but at the back of his mind, he remembered Dao Ming Si begging Shan Cai endlessly before.

Xiao You bit her lip as she shook her head. "Don't get me wrong, Xi Men. Of course, we are friends but I can't con-"

"Please just one cup of tea?" Xi Men cajoled, he knew he sounded downright weak but he didn't care. He was determined to share even a cup of tea with her, he'll beg if he had to. He turned most pleading eyes on her.

At the end, it won Xiao You over. Though she reluctantly sighed first, the fact that she finally agreed sent an excited thrill down Xi Men's spine.

Not taking off his hold on her, Xi Men led Xiao You into the patio. He sat on the very chair he sat three years ago when he first entertained Xiao You into his home. While Xiao You sat on the very same chair too. It gave a sense of nostalgia to Xi Men as one of the maids served them their tea.

They didn't really talk much. Xiao You seemed to be so preoccupied, Xi Men didn't mind though. He contended himself by watching Xiao You closely.

As Xiao You sipped her tea, Xi Men began to memorize her features. He didn't like to think it would be soon forbidden; all he knew at that moment, his feelings made it right for him to be looking at Xiao You this way.

The silky hair freely flowing down her face, neck and shoulders. . . the exotically-shaped eyes and lips. . . the beautiful curve of her neck and. . .

"You're wearing it!" Xi Men exclaimed. He was surprised and infinitely thrilled to see his gift on Xiao You. She had never worn it again till now.

Xiao You smiled half-heartedly, she touched the necklace, rather a bit frustrated Xi Men noted. "Yeah," she whispered strangely.

Releasing her hold on the pendant, though still a bit distracted, Xiao You she added with a warm smile, "Really, I want to thank you again, Xi Men. This necklace is so nice."

Xi Men shook his head. Putting all the sincerity in his words, Xi Men locked his eyes and her and whispered"You don't need to thank me, Xiao You. I'm contented enough to see the happiness in your face."

For a moment, Xiao You searched his eyes before she could smile at his words. Very gracefully she picked up her tea again.

Xi Men picked up his tea too and for the second time in two weeks, he thank the heavens for his good buddy Dao Ming Si. Though a bit lacking at the language and social skills department, Dao Ming Si sure was a master at the love department. Xi Men should quickly go and see him for his next lesson.

Then for the next five minutes, the two didn't say another word.

-------------------------

That night Xi Men Tian Li lay on his bed, staring up at his ceiling. The feelings in his heart were both familiar and new. He had known this emotion before; at the same the pain was a bit different this time.

Jealousy. Insecurity. Anxiety. He had felt it all before with Hua Zhe Lei. . . now, he was feeling all of these on his brother.

He had just come out from his art studio to join Xiao You for some snack when he stopped suddenly hearing his brother's warm voice mixed with his fiancée's soft key. Before he could stop himself, he peeked through a pillar and saw Xiao You and Ah Lang, just sitting there, chatting. It was nothing really and he was about to step forward to let his presence known but Xiao You's words had froze him up.

"_Really, I want to thank you again, Xi Men. This necklace is so nice."_

To pretend he didn't hear those words was no easy feat. The sudden stab in his heart. . . the nauseous pit deep in his stomach. . . they wouldn't go away. . .

He just could not believed Xiao You lied to him. Then Tian Li quickly shook his head, rejecting that thought; no, Xiao You didn't lie. It was his fault for choosing not to ask who gave it to her. . . but still why did she kept the fact that it was Ah Lang who gave it?

Tian Li took a deep breath. They had a misunderstanding like this before. Xiao You was hurt when he didn't tell her that he went to see Jing; they resolved everything when Xiao You asked him about it but would the situation be resolve too if he confronts her? Wouldn't that looked like he doubted her?

Tian Li sat up from his bed, head throbbing like hell. No, of course he trusted Xiao You. The truth was he was more concerned with Ah Lang; his words had come as a surprise to him.

"_You don't need to thank me, Xiao You. I'm contented enough to see the happiness in your face."_

Never had he heard his brother speak to any girl as warmly before. The way he spoke her name. . . the sincerity in his voice. . . the fondness of his gesture. . . it scared Tian Li to think that his brother could actually have feelings for Xiao You.

If his brother did have feelings for Xiao You, Tian Li honestly didn't know if he could be so willing to give up a second time. Before he was able to; but now, Tian Li knew he wouldn't be able to stand the pain all over again.

Lowering his face and hugging his knees to his chest, Tian Li realized that he had isolated himself from everyone for far too long. He has become so suspicious of everything. . . his judgment was running far too fast than his logic. He needed to clear his mind.

Clear his mind. . . and even though he knew it was impossibly crazy, that it'll just create more conflict, somehow Tian Li couldn't erase his sudden thought. . . For that in his secret and put-away heart, he knew there was only one person who could help him to clear up his fogged up mind and heart. . .

_Jing._

_-------------------------_

**Next chapter: **A hurt Tian Li runs to his best friend to find comfort in her arms, but what would happen when Lei mistakes the situation? And what's this, Mei Zhou resentful of Tian Li too? Does Xiao Qiao's change have something to do with any of this? Between a simple act of helping someone and the reassuring words to go with it, would old feelings spark once more? Find out next time in **Between Jealousy and Trust.**

**Note: **In the HYD manga, Akira(Mei Zhou) has two adorable lil twin sisters. When I found out about them, they seemed effective if I add them on my twist on MZ and XQ. I just mentioned them in this chap but sometime in the next three chaps, we'll get to meet those adorable twins!

**AN:** Anyway, don't mind me with the 'sel-lo' and 'she-lo' thing. Hahaha, I couldn't think of something else to 'worsen' the situation so I came up with that lame pronunciation thing. Anyway um I don't remember exactly but I think the Tagalog dubbed was like that. Hehe.

Ok change, topic there'll be a 'guest appearance' of one character from MG/MGII in next chap, if anyone could guess who he/she is, I'll dedicate the next chap to him/her. Hehe, I just like dedicating my chaps to my readers. Anyways, if you like, please do write your guess on your comment. Oh for a clue on who the character is, think about the title as to it also applies to him/her. Hehe, she/he will be spicing up the romance between one of our darling couples. Anyways, see you next time! Please review po! Suggestions, criticisms and violent reactions are much welcome as well; thanks in advance!


	8. Between Jealousy and Trust

**AN: **I know you guys are ready to kill me but I have a very good reason. Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon(live-action) is soooo addictive. Before I was soo dead set against anyone acting as my mamochan but shibue jyoji is soooo fine!!! drools err, I'll stop now before jerry gets jealous. Ahhh speaking of jerry, I love his album!!! dreamland

**sheilapiglet: ** nope, it's not yesha but it's someone from sc and dms's past too. read the notes at the end for the explanation/significance of the appearance. hehehe. hmm, intricate love triangles. . . my best friend complains the same thing and to think she already know how the whole story would go! anyways, thanks for reading. oh, you're a member of faithful4ever too, right?

**xib** - well, i dont know if that's good that i managed to change your mind but i'm flattered that my story affected you at least in any way. anyways, thank u very much. hope u continue reading!

**somebody** - thank u to u too. i cant reveal what's going to happen but i would try to end it no one hurting as much as they're hurting now.

**Amyranth** - hey, thanks for reviewing again! thank u for pointing out the wrong spelling of mz's name, i appreciate it a lot! actually, i post this story and my other jy fic on winglin. it's my sembreak now so yes, i'll definitely drop by your fics too.

**Disclaimer: **All hail of HYD is to Komio Yoko-sensei. To MG's producers, thank you too for giving me something to obsess forever. cries I can't even think of a life now without ever having known Dao Ming Si. . .

This chapter is dedicated to **bottle**, **applemine** and **shielapiglet**. Your answer, guys, are not quite right but you did guess right the person is from dms and sc's past. Read notes at the end for the significance of the appearance.

Oh and thank you to Amyranth for pointing out my mistake in spelling MZ's name.

--------------------------

Chapter 8: **Between Jealousy and Trust**

It was a beautiful Saturday morning. Though it was still winter, the sun was as warm as it could be. A perfect date day and Dao Ming Si and Shan Cai were well taking advantage. They were happily strolling around and Dao Ming Si was slowly working up the courage to take Shan Cai's hand into his; when his hand was an inch away though, he suddenly stopped in his tracks. He stood there still and alert.

"Dao Ming Si, what is it?"

Not moving his head much, Dao Ming Si looked around the place. "Someone is following us," he said in a low voice.

Shan Cai's eyes widened in surprise. At the back of her mind, she was reminded of a time, years back when Dao Ming Si suddenly went missing, apparently after his own mother's guards took him away.

Worried lines appeared on Shan Cai's forehead. Dao Ming Si quickly understood her feelings and he smiled reassuringly at her.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm never leaving again, I promise you that right?" he whispered with more gentleness than he ever had used before.

Shan Cai nodded. She believed Dao Ming Si but inside, she was still scared. What could Dao Ming Feng be planning now?

Then taking her hand into his, Dao Ming Si gave it a loving squeeze. With his eyes, Dao Ming Si silently repeated his promise of eternal happiness to her.

But before she could react; an all-too-familiar voice interrupted her from behind.

"Finally! I've been looking for you!"

And in a sudden flash of light, a girl jumped up and hugged her arms possessively into Dao Ming Si's waist.

"Ah Si," she sighed, resting a cheek in his back.

Dao Ming Si and Shan Cai could only gaped at the girl.

"Xiao Zi!"

----------------------

"You're looking happy."

A surprised Jing straightened her back from watering her orchids. She turned to Tian Li and glared at him.

"What?"

Smiling playfully, he stepped closer to her and imitated Jing's previous state, humming a soft tune while smiling widely from ear to ear.

Haughtily, Jing flipped her hair and pushed Tian Li lightly so she could continue her work.

"So what if I was humming? I'm not happy; I'm just a little pleased. Contented."

Tian Li's only reply was a deep laugh and when he did Jing felt smiling too. It was nice seeing Tian Li smiling and laughing again. Two days ago when he suddenly appeared at her door, he was like the most forlorn-looking man on the planet.

Looking at Tian Li, Jing knew his state of gloominess must have had something with Xiao You and their upcoming wedding. Though he still had not opened up his difficulties with her, Jing was contented to have Tian Li go to her. In a way, they were rebuilding their friendship.

Just yesterday afternoon sometime after Tian Li left, Lei came to visit her and commented the same thing that she seemed uncharacteristically happy nowadays. Jing didn't know how to react to that but the truth was Jing knew she was happy because of Tian Li.

When they were still kids, Tian Li was like her very own knight in shining armor. To most people, Teng Tang Jing was a capable woman that didn't need any protection or care. But one man saw more to Jing than just the strong personality, Xi Men Tian Li.

Hours after hours, they had lain side-by-side, planning of the future they wanted for themselves. Tian Li told Jing that he didn't want to be Xi Men Corporation's president; instead he wanted to become an artist. He added that even if he had to give everything up to follow his dreams, he would.

Jing, on her part, told him her secret desire to become a lawyer. But back then Jing had been different from Tian Li.

She wanted to please everyone first before herself. Unlike Tian Li who made no pretense of hating being Xi Men heir; Jing, in front of everyone, had just kept on smiling. Even when everyone around her had been pushing her towards modeling, a career she didn't want; she kept her silence and let everyone think that's what she wanted too.

But with Tian Li though, Jing happily takes off her mask. He was the only one, she had been able to freely talk her true feelings with.

This time around, Jing wished she could return the favor to Tian Li. If he could just talk to her, Jing knew she would do everything to help ease his pain the way he used to ease hers.

Back in the present time, Tian Li finally noticed Jing's intent gaze on his face.

"What is it?"

Jing shook her head. "Nothing. I was just remembering something."

Lines formed in Tian Li's forehead. "About what?"

Jing smiled slightly. "The past." Staring up at his eyes, Jing continued. "You know, about you. Me. Us."

"Jing-"

Jing interrupted him. "Let me finish. You know Tian Li, you've done a lot for me before. You don't have to tell me, I can tell you're hurting but I wished you'd let me share your pain. I wished-"

"Miss Jing," one of the Teng household's servant called as she stepped into the garden. Both Tian Li and Jing turned to her. The maid bowed apologetically for her interruption.

"Sorry, Miss Jing but Hua Zhe master is here looking for you."

Lei. The mention of his name surprised Jing. Lei had been just there yesterday. He had been visiting her a lot these days too. In her heart, an old string was unexpectedly strummed anew.

"Thank you. Tell him, I'll be right over," Jing said to the maid. After the servant left, Jing turned to Tian Li.

"Well, we should get going," Jing said a bit awkwardly. Tian Li only nodded. Side-by-side, they walked back to the house.

Halfway, Tian Li stopped then lightly grabbed Jing's wrist to stop her too.

"Jing, do you think first love never dies?"

The question completely took Jing by surprise. Looking up at Tian Li's eyes, Jing knew Tian Li must be thinking about Xiao You. Xiao You, who loved Xi Men Zhong er Lang first.

Though she wanted to reassure him that the flame of first love could die, the way her heart was thumping made her impossible to lie.

Seeing how her blood brought a light red color to cheeks, Tian Li nodded in understanding. Not waiting for her to answer, he released her and continued his way.

Standing still at her place, Jing could only stare after her best friend for a while. Then with eyes still full of regret, Jing went to catch up with Tian Li.

Her name and the smile on his smile died on Lei's lips as Jing and Xi Men Tian Li came into the front door _together_.

It was strange. Definitely strange to see the two of them standing side-by-side after so many years. Looking at them, Lei felt as if time had stopped and returned to that time years ago when he was nothing but a mere kid who could only stand aside and watch the romance between Jing and Tian Li blossom more ach day.

"Jing," Lei greeted. He knew he sounded much like a robot.

Jing only smiled absentmindedly. Obviously, she didn't hear his odd tone.

Turning away from her, Lei politely acknowledged Tian Li by nodding his head at him. Tian Li returned the gesture, absentmindedly too.

Looking from Lei to Tian Li, Jing offered an awkward smile. Then motioning for Tian Li to follow her, the two began to walk over to Lei so they can take a seat.

Much to Lei's surprise Jing chose the seat next to him on the long couch. After she settled herself Lei sat down next to her.

But much more surprising though was how instead of sitting somewhere else, Tian Li took a seat on the other side of Jing.

An unexpected surge of tension began on Lei's temple. He did his best not to remind Tian Li that he was engaged.

"I didn't know you'd be here, Tian Li," he said instead.

Tian Li shrugged. Brushing off his hair from his forehead, he explained. "Well Jing has been locking herself in this house, she needs some company."

Though a bit bothered that Tian Li was so willing to do this for Jing, Lei knew he was right. Ever since Jing returned she had not much went out to socialize. But he was there; Tian Li need not bother himself.

Of course, Lei couldn't say those words.

So to his surprise, Jing took Tian Li's hand and smiled. "That's true. I've been very happy lately, thank you," she whispered, staring straight at Tian Li's eyes.

Seeing such a gentle scene, an all too familiar sensation began at Lei's stomach.

Yesterday, he had asked Jing why she looked so happy these days. Like a silly little boy, Lei had hoped he might be the reason behind her smiles. He thought she was glad things between them were working out fine.

But apparently, she wasn't. Instead, she was happy that her relationship with Tian Li was getting better after their long separation.

And as Lei watched on, Jing dropped Tian Li's hand and then turned to him. She smiled beautifully.

"Thank you too, Lei. You've been very sweet; visiting and keeping me company too."

Though he felt a bit pleased, Lei was still disappointed. Once more, he only came in second place.

The next few seconds were of a long and unhealthy silence. Finally Tian Li turned to Jing and smiled at her.

"I have to go," he told her. Jing nodded.

What happened next, both shocked and confused Lei. Was it his imagination or did Tian Li really turned briefly to him before he leaned over and pecked Jing's cheek?

What is happening here? Tian Li was engaged. . . he loved Xiao You. . . doesn't he?

And what about Jing? Does she really love Tian Li? Even after all these years?

These are just more questions added to confused Lei more.

Back to the present, Tian Li got up, then with a slight nod towards Lei's way, left. Both Lei and Jing watched as he walked out of the front door.

But even minutes after he was gone, Jing sat on her place, staring after the front door.

"Jing," he whispered to get her attention. She looked so faraway.

For a moment, Jing's eyes began to focus but the next though, she was staring after the front door again. Confused and hurt, Lei got to his feet.

"I'm sorry. This is a mistake, I'm leaving first."

But before he could take a step, a warm hand stopped him. Getting on her feet, Jing stood before Lei.

"I'm sorry, really." She smiled apologetically as she took her hand away. "So what is it that you wanted to tell me?"

Looking to her eyes, Lei knew he couldn't say want he wanted to tell her now.

"It's nothing," he said, voice impassive. "I was here to look for an answer but I found it now."

Without another word, Lei turned and walked out.

In the last three weeks, there had only been questions for Lei.

For ever since, Jing returned, Lei had been feeling different. He didn't understand what he was feeling, but all he knew was he had been happier in years. Just to be able to see Jing once in a while, it gave Lei some happiness.

So to understand his own feelings, Lei visited Jing often. But no matter how much thinking he did, he still couldn't figure it out. After seeing Jing, at night Lei only ends up more confused.

But not today. For the first time his mind was clear. For the first time, he knew what he was feeling.

There was no doubt. He was jealous.

But why would he be jealous? Was it because he thought he and Jing could finally be friends but now they wouldn't be because of Tian Li? Or was he jealous that Tian Li could give Jing happiness that he couldn't give? Or, was it possible that he was jealous because deep inside he really did still felt something for her?

_But whatever it is, I should stop these thoughts. It doesn't matter now anyway, _Lei thought as he got into his car. _Jing obviously still love Tian Li. . ._

He started the engine and the car came to life.

_. . . and if his eyes proved anything, I think Tian Li still have lots of unresolved feelings for her too. . ._

_---------------------------_

A year ago, if someone had asked him what he was most passionate about, Xi Men would have laughed and said he doesn't have the ability to be passionate about anything.

If someone asked him the same question a month ago, he would have admitted he was obsessing a little with his work.

But when someone asked him the same question, the person would laugh at the irony of his answer.

Right now, for the first time. . . Xi Men Zhong er Lang had his whole heart and soul into one thing.

Winning back the affections of a girl he had rejected before. A girl he had once said he'll never chase after. A girl that was now engaged to his brother.

Watching Xiao You intently as she sipped her tea, Xi Men finally understood the insanity Dao Ming Si had three years back.

Truthfully it must be madness. . . to look at anything and yet only see the face of your beloved. . . to wear your heart around your neck and leave it so vulnerable against the person's rejection. . .

"Thank you for joining me for tea," Xi Men said, smiling fondly at Xiao You.

Xiao You nodded, smiling slightly.

Just as Dao Ming Si had instructed him, Xi Men had been paying special attention to Xiao You more. It seemed to be working too. Little by little, the walls of awkwardness are brought between the two of them. The small talks were doing great things for their relationship.

Of course, it was still a secret kept between them. Xi Men knew he hadn't have the guts yet to publicly show his feelings around his brother; but when it really comes down to it, he had decided not to hesitate. When the time comes that he had to compete with his brother, he'd do it without hesitation.

With that thought in mind, Xi Men surprised Xiao You when he suddenly took her hand in his. The right hand, the hand without the engagement ring, of course.

"Xi Men, what are you doing?"

Smiling smoothly, Xi Men said, "I'm so happy, Xiao You." Staring straight at her, Xi Men continued. "I'm happy that things between us are getting better."

"Sure," Xiao You nodded awkwardly, trying to take her hand away.

Xi Men only tighten his grip on her fingers. "I'm glad you're wearing the necklace too."

Before Xiao You could react though, a slight cough interrupted them both.

Eyes widening, Xiao You hastily took her hand away from Xi Men.

"Tian Li."

Shock, Xi Men turned around. True enough, his brother was standing behind him. He had an awkward smile across his lips.

"Am I interrupting?" he asked uncertainly.

"Of course not," Xiao You answered quickly. Getting on her feet, she went to him and kissed his cheek. Xi Men averted his eyes.

Though he was ready to face against brother, Xi Men knew his biggest obstacle was actually his own feelings. After all, how could he even think of fighting when his mind would go dysfunctional every time he saw Xiao You and his brother together?

Feelings of jealousy cloud one's logic. For a tenth of a second, Xi Men felt so resentful that he wanted to make his brother feel it too.

How can Tian Li be so calm after seeing his fiancée with him? Didn't it bother him at all?

But before Xi Men could do something stupid, he checked his emotions. Xi Men knew his brother; Tian Li didn't suspect anything at all because he was such a trusting soul. After all, Jing didn't call his brother perfect for nothing.

And deep inside, Xi Men didn't want his brother to think ill of Xiao You too. So instead of taking a chance of complicating things for them, Xi Men got on his feet and turned to his brother.

"Xiao You and I were just having some cup of tea," he said, half-explaining. Thinking that an indifferent teasing would help out, Xi Men added. "No need to get jealous, big brother. It's not like I'll steal your bride away."

Deep inside him, Xi Men knew the way his heart protested betrayed his words.

----------------------

_Sometimes, I think there are two me, _Xiao You thought as she looked into her fiancée's eyes.

They were sitting inside his room, both silent. Finally after another few moments, Tian Li gently took both of Xiao You's hands in his.

_The one side of me knows this is right, _Xiao You thought. _This part, all she wants is to move on and live happily with Tian Li._

"Xiao You," Tian Li began.

_The other part of me. . . _Xiao You turned to look at her lap, her eyes caught sight of the necklace she was wearing. . . . w_ants the opposite. . ._

"Just tell me honestly, was it my brother who gave that necklace to you?"

His question didn't held any accusation. . . no anger at all. . . Just a simple plead of honesty.

Raising her head, Xiao You stared back at the second man who captured her heart.

Not taking her eyes off him, Xiao You nodded.

She expected him to get mad then but instead, he only smiled. He leaned to kiss her forehead.

"It's okay," he whispered reassuringly.

One lone tear slid down Xiao You's pale cheek. "But I-"

Shaking his head, Tian Li interrupted. "You don't have to explain. Smiling sadly, he continued, "To be honest, I found out a few days ago. I accidentally heard you two that day after I drew you. I admit I was hurt at first but now, I think I kinda understand."

Xiao You stared deeply at Tian Li, wondering how could he understand when she can't understand it herself?

Every night, she would go to bed asking herself why she couldn't tell him what Xi Men had given her? Even in her dreams, she would still ask herself why she couldn't find it in her heart to stay away from Xi Men.

Though, she knew it was wrong but the past few days, with Xi Men being extra attentive and sweet to her, she couldn't help but give in to his every request.

Every afternoon, after he returns from work, the two of them would go and have tea together. Xiao You knew she was playing with fire, daring fate to do its worse, but in deep inside she knew she couldn't resist anyway.

And now, fate had said it was enough and had stepped in. Not only did Tian Li saw her and Xi Men in such a comfortable situation, he also found out about the truth of the necklace.

She wouldn't blame him if he chose to doubt her now. But instead of that, Tian Li was now telling her, he understood her.

But how?

Probably seeing the question in her eyes, Tian Li smiled slightly. "I too have a confession to make." He paused for a while. "I've been seeing Jing lately."

Xiao You chose not to say anything. But behind her eyes, she felt the tears forming.

Taking away his hand from his hold on hers, Tian Li brushed back his hair. He continued to explain, "It's not a secret that I left home to forget Jing. Year by year, my heartbreak slowly faded." Smiling sweetly, Tian Li fondly caressed Xiao You's hair.

"Then I met you, fell in love for a second time. . . everything was going on well then the inevitable happened, I. . . we had to return to Taiwan. By returning home, I found something very important."

This time when he took another pause, Xiao You leaned her head on chest, listening to his heart. His heartbeats were steady as he wrapped his arms around her.

"I found out I did it all wrong. A western saying goes like 'forgive and forget.' By escaping, I tried to forget, not realizing I should have tried forgiving first." Sighing, Tian Li's arms lightly lose its hold on Xiao You. "So now, I realized I haven't forgotten after all."

A stunned Xiao You pulled away from Tian Li.

_What is he saying? Does he still lo. . ._

"I loved you," Tian Li said, interrupting her thoughts. Leaning, he gave her a kiss. Such a slow and sensuous kiss.

Pulling away, he stared once more deep into her eyes. "I love you," he repeated. "To me, seeing Jing. . . rebuilding our tarnished friendship, it gives me a sense of acceptance, I'm learning to forgive. Slowly, I'm beginning to really forget too."

Kissing her again, just a quick peck this time, he continued, "I know you love me but I know too you must not have completely healed yet. . . at first, you were reluctant to return to Taiwan, I know it must be because of my brother. . . but now we're here, you can't escape the wound inside you. . . I trust you, Xiao You, if gaining this closeness to my brother could help you forgive and then forget, I won't protest, I'll understand."

_When he explains it like this, I feel that I could truly believe this truth myself. . . _Xiao You thought as she let her head fall against Tian Li's shoulder.

"Thank you. . . " she whispered softly. She had a lot to be thankful for her fiancée.

One, he wasn't mad. Tian Li wasn't mad that she was wearing a necklace from another man, a man she loved before, while she also wear his ring.

Two, he said he understands. Of course, he would. He was a man so sensitive he could read right through anyone.

But. . . Tian Li also was giving her permission to continue whatever she had with Xi Men now. . . Xiao You wasn't sure what she should feel for that exactly. . .

One part of her, the part of her that wanted to simply move with Tian Li wanted to protest. . . wanted to say, she can't move on and be friendly with Xi Men at the same time. . .

The other part of her. . . strangely felt relieved and happy. . .

----------------------------

"Hey, monkey girl, don't get too comfortable."

Shan Cai could only smile amusedly. Instead of moving away from him, Xiao Zi only shifted closer to Dao Ming Si and clung tighter to his arm.

After dinner, the three of them decided to catch up in Dao Ming Si's living room. Little by little, Xiao Zi moved closer to Dao Ming Si as she talked about London. Suddenly, she had her arms around him, saying she missed him. Dao Ming Si wanted to push her off at first, but in the end returned her hug warmly. But now, after seeing Xiao Zi having no intention of moving off, Dao Ming Si began to complain.

"Don't be like this, Ah Si," she whispered, resting her head against Dao Ming Si's shoulder. "We haven't seen each other for a year. I miss you soo much."

That's what Xiao Zi had been saying in the last ten minutes. Rolling his eyes, Dao Ming Si turned pleading eyes to Shan Cai. She only nodded encouragingly. A surprised look came across Dao Ming Si's features. At the end, he smiled in understanding.

Relenting, he hugged Xiao Zi back again.

As Shan Cai watched this tender moment between her boyfriend and his first ex-fiancée, she couldn't help but laugh at it all.

Three years ago, she either would have thrown curses at Dao Ming Si or cried her eyes out if she saw this kind of scene. Even just months before, she couldn't help but pull her eyes away every time Dao Ming Si would hold Ye Sha, another ex-fiancée of his, in his arms.

But things had changed now. She was no longer the insecure girl before, more than ever she was assured of Dao Ming Si's feelings for her. Her and Dao Ming Si's love had passed many trials these last few years, because of it all they had now reached this point where their love was so pure and true something as trivial as jealousy can be overlook.

Yes. True, she still felt a little jealous. She knew after all that Xiao Zi meant a great deal to Dao Ming Si too but she knew Dao Ming Si's heart inside out. Xiao Zi was a friend; she was the one he loved. Shan Cai smiled inwardly, congratulating herself. She obviously had matured a lot.

Smiling even more, Shan Cai noted that Dao Ming Si had matured a lot too. The fact that he no longer goes ballistic every time she would remotely speak of Lei's name proved it.

Finally, after some time, Xiao Zi pulled away from Dao Ming Si. She gave an apologetic smile to Shan Cai.

"I'm sorry, Shan Cai. I guess I just couldn't help myself." Wiping away the small tears that formed at the corner of her eyes, she continued, "I just really missed you guys."

"We missed you too, Xiao Zi," Shan Cai said.

Xiao Zi smiled, seeing Shan Cai wasn't a bit mad. "I'm sorry too for sneaking up to you two this morning. I wanted to surprise you."

Dao Ming Si shrugged. "It's okay." He smirked, "No wonder I felt a sudden chill. It was you, monkey girl."

Though he said that, Dao Ming Si's voice was teasing and Xiao Zi only laughed.

After a while, she stopped laughing and turned serious. "While I was in London, I heard about your engagement to that princess," she said suddenly.

An awkward silence followed.

"I met an accident and had an amnesia," Dao Ming Si explained simply, reverting his eyes.

Xiao Zi nodded. "I wasn't asking. I knew there must be some reason to it anyway." Then turning to Shan Cai, she apologized. "I'm sorry I couldn't be here before to help you out, Shan Cai."

Shan Cai shook her head. "It doesn't matter, Xiao Zi. That's all in the past."

"Right." She beamed. "I was following the news, praying everyday that wedding never happen; one day the newspapers said you went missing," Xiao Zi said turning to Dao Ming Si again. "Then when I read you've finally returned, I knew things must have worked out between you guys again so I decided to come for a visit to see. So I followed you guys around and saw you two together and I-"

Suddenly an unexpected tear began to form in the corner of Xiao Zi's eyes. She stopped and asked where the bathroom was. Shan Cai got on her feet and offered to go with her.

Then when they were away from Dao Ming Si's sight, Xiao Zi clutched at Shan Cai's arms. She began to cry again.

"Xiao Zi," Shan Cai said, stroking her back and calming her. "It's okay, don't cry."

"I'm sorry, I just can't stop crying." Still sobbing, she continued, "Actually, I could have returned earlier but I couldn't. . . " Looking up, Xiao Zi stared back at Shan Cai.

"Shan Cai, when I saw all the newspaper pictures and TV clips, I felt so jealous. He looked so happy with that princess, I didn't want to admit it but when he got engaged to me, he was just accepting what our parents had arranged. I hated to think he really wanted to be with that girl."

Her words were whispered softly but Shan Cai heard them all clearly.

"Xiao Zi, you mean you still. . . " Shan Cai's question trailed off.

"Yes," Xiao Zi admitted. She lowered her head, hiding her eyes from Shan Cai. "I really did try to forget him but I can't. I'm sorry, Shan Cai."

Though shock at her revelations, Shan Cai understood her feelings. Reassuringly, she smiled at her. "It's okay, Xiao Zi." Smiling teasingly, she added, "As long as you won't ask me to give up on him or something."

Laughing, Xiao Zi shook her head. "No, of course not." Shan Cai nodded as Xiao Zi wiped her tears away. "Thank you. Looks like you matured a lot."

"I think so too," Shan Cai agreed. Motioning for her shirt and hair, she added, "Oh come, you wouldn't want the pighead to see you so disheveled, no?"

Xiao Zi shook her head and began fixing her shirt. With her fingers, Shan Cai helped Xiao Zi smooth down her hair.

All at once, Xiao Zi noticed Shan Cai's ring.

"Are you guys engaged?"

Taking her hand away, Shan Cai stared at it. Slowly she nodded.

For a while, a sad look overcame Xiao Zi's pretty face again. The next moment, the face vanished and she smiled again.

"Well, congratulations," she said brightly. Laughing, she added, "I'm sure it'll work this time around. After all, like they say, third times the charm."

--------------------------

"So how come you didn't tell me you and Tian Li were a bit of an acquaintance?" Mei Zuo asked as he stopped his car in the middle of the road. He looked into the rearview mirror to Xiao Qiao. After her cello was repaired, Xiao Qiao would frequently concede sitting on the passenger seat. But now more often, she had been taking the backseat with her cello again.

Xiao Qiao looked up. "Excuse me?"

Mei Zuo sighed. This all started with that annoying talk he had with Xiao Qiao at the French café. After, he couldn't think straight for days until last night, he invited Xi Men for a drink and confessed to him the truth.

And what did annoying Xi Men Zhong er Lang did?

Laugh.

"Well, I kinda guess that already," he had begun as he took his drink. "I mean Xiao Qiao's a nice girl, don't get me wrong but way before I knew she wasn't someone who get into the stuff we like. She's more like my brother's kind."

Mei Zuo, who had been in the middle of drinking, stopped. "What do you mean?" Lines wrinkling his forehead, he had added. "Way before? Oh yeah, on your celebration party before you seemed to know Xiao Qiao well. How is that?"

A shock Xi Men had raised an eyebrow at Mei Zuo. "Don't tell me you still haven't remembered, the four of us had been classmates with her in grade school."

Mei Zuo growled. "Of course I remember it now! What I mean is, as you say, she's not exactly like you, Ah Si and me. To be more accurate, she's the artistic and serious type, kinda like Lei. But Lei was oblivious to anyone except Jing, so he doesn't count but how come you noticed her?" Mei Zuo had finished his question a bit suspiciously.

Xi Men held up his hands. "Hey, don't get so work up over nothing." Shaking his head, Xi Men continued, "I knew her mainly because she was my brother's friend."

"Your brother's friend? How is that possible, she's four years younger!"

"Don't ask me how they became friendly, how would I know?" Xi Men shrugged. "All I knew they were on some art classes together."

Mei Zuo continued staring at Xi Men incredulously. He had been remembering the time when Xiao Qiao, with a faraway look in her eyes, mentioned Tian Li. She had teased him that F4 had issues with Tian Li but Mei Zuo had waved them off at once. Mei Zuo had been thinking too about Xi Men saying Xiao Qiao was like Tian Li.

They're both artistic, does that mean they were compatible?

Seeing the look in Mei Zuo's face, Xi Men shhok his head. "Hey, if you're so bothered by it, why don't you ask Xiao Qiao herself?"

Returning to the present, Mei Zuo turned seriously at Xiao Qiao again. "I was asking why you didn't tell me you were friends with Tian Li."

Tucking her hair behind her ear, Xiao Qiao shrugged. "I guess it never occurred to me that you'd be interested."

"Why wouldn't I be interested?"

"I don't know, you tell me." Shaking her head, Xiao Qiao asked, "What's this all about anyway?"

Mei Zuo sighed. "Nothing. I was just really surprised when Xi Men told me you had some art classes with Tian Li before."

A long silence followed.

"Xiao Qiao," Mei Zuo said after a while. "Truthfully, I'm not just being jealous okay? But please tell me why you didn't tell me before."

This time it was Xiao Qiao who sighed. "Mei Zuo, I didn't know it'd bother you so much. But quite frankly, I guess I just didn't mention it anymore because I'm not exactly too fond of going back to those earlier years when you wouldn't even notice me."

The blank look in Mei Zuo's eyes caused Xiao Qiao to roll her eyes.

"Don't tell me, you still haven't remembered me from those days."

"Of course I do," Mei Zuo replied defensively. "After I knew the truth, I tried to remember back as much as I could. I knew our first real encounter was on Xi Men's ninth birthday. And we were classmates from the fourth to sixth grade."

Xiao Qiao couldn't help smiling at the thoughtfulness of Mei Zuo's act. "Yes, those are true." Shaking her head, she added, "but you didn't know that aside from Xi Men's parties, I was also present on Tian Li's every party?"

Once more, the blank look in Mei Zuo's eyes proved Xiao Qiao's point.

Xiao Qiao shook her head. "Just take me home," she ordered, her voice held some uncharacteristic annoyance and air.

Though Mei Zuo wanted to say sorry for looking like so such an insensitive soul back then, his tongue couldn't form the apology. . .

Though he wanted to admit to her that he was just jealous, his ego wouldn't let him. . .

Though he wanted to say he was just insecure that she and Tian Li could be compatible while they weren't, his pride wouldn't let him. . .

All he did was drove in silence and when he reached her house, Xiao Qiao didn't even wait for him to open her door.

She got out of the car, carrying her precious cello with her. With a curt "thank you for driving me home," she marched towards her house.

As she walked off, Mei Zuo felt a sudden jolt of pain. It was so obvious that his relationship with Xiao Qiao was slowly sliding downhill.

Mei Zuo sighed. . . _I didn't even get a goodnight kiss._

-----------------------

"Please, please, please?"

"Mei Li, I'm on cello practice right now. I can't, I'm sorry. I'll pick you and Mei Lun next time, okay?"

More than two hours ago, Xiao Qiao had hung up Mei Zuo's little sister's call, and felt terribly guilty about it.

For the past few months, the Ling twins, Mei Li and Mei Lun, have been like her true-blooded sisters. Xiao Qiao who was very fond of the identical ten year olds, would often pick them up from their ballet class. Lately, with the situation of her relationship with Mei Zuo, she had ended up neglecting the twins too.

Throughout her cello practice, Xiao Qiao couldn't take her mind off Mei Li.

Mei Li. She was the older of the twins. A simple and kindhearted girl. . . Xiao Qiao prayed that she wasn't hurt too much.

Good thing though, after cello practice, the younger twin, Mei Lun had called her too. Mei Lun, with her cute little persuasive voice, said she and her sister had stayed over with their new teacher until her cello practice was over. Now, Mei Lun added that she couldn't say no.

Mei Lun. She was the opposite of Mei Li. Outspoken and assertive. . . Xiao Qiao was equally fond of her.

"Fine, I'll go and pick you guys up, okay?"Xiao Qiao had promised. She decided to use the afternnon to make it up with the twins.

Squealing excitedly Mei Lun told her that she and Mei Li wanted to introduce her to their new pretty teacher.

Smiling in the present, Xiao Qiao turned to look out her car window as her driver stopped in front of a building. The twins are probably at the lobby, waiting for her.

Getting out of the door, Xiao Qiao gave some instructions to her driver first before going off inside the building to look for the twins.

Mei Li saw her at once. She ran up to her in excitement.

"Big sis!" Mei Li exclaimed, clinging lightly to her arm. "I really thought you and ge ge were fighting. I was scared that you'll never come and see us again."

Kneeling so that she was eye level with the little girl, Xiao Qiao smiled reassuringly. "No. That'll never happen, okay?"

Mei Li smiled, nodding happily.

As she straightened up, Xiao Qiao caught sight of Mei Lun walking up to them. Mei Lun was also holding unto an older girl's hand.

Stopping in front of them, Mei Lun took her hand away and stepped beside Xiao Qiao. She smiled up at her.

"I knew you couldn't refuse us, big sis," she said.

Xiao Qiao nodded. "True," she said, smiling widely.

Mei Lun grinned and motioned to the other girl.

"This is our teacher," Mei Lun eagerly introduced. "Our head teacher said we need to learn not just ballet; so actually she's just our teacher for a while. She's teaching us fast dancing and she came all the way from Japan," Mei Lun added, blushing lightly.

Xiao Qiao nodded in understanding. Mei Lun was a little fond of Japan. Hua Zhe Lei's mother was Japanese and Mei Lun had a thing for him.

"Hi," the girl greeted Xiao Qiao, bowing respectfully.

The twins' dance teacher was a shorter than her. Though a little plump; with copper brown hair, smiling eyes, full cheekbones and small lips, she was definitely attractive.

_And she does look nice_, Xiao Qiao decided.

"Hi," Xiao Qiao finally greeted back, equally polite. Fondly ruffling both the twins' hair, she continued, "I am Ying Xiao Qiao, these darling girls called me up and begged me to pick them up so they can introduce you." Looking down at either side of her, Xiao Qiao saw how the twins eagerly nodded. "They obviously have taken a liking for you after only a day," she continued, looking up.

"Thank you." Smiling shyly, she added. "I've taken a liking for them too." Lightly biting at her lower lip uncertainly, she added, "They told me you're their big brother's girlfriend."

At the mention of him Xiao Qiao remembered her small argument with Mei Zuo last night.

Truthfully, Mei Zuo was being silly. So what if she had not told him Tian Li had been quite friendly with her when they were younger? It was not her fault her parents had forced her to take art lessons before. And it's not Tian Li's fault that he had a polite and friendly soul. If anything, Xiao Qiao thought, it was Mei Zuo's fault.

Never had it bothered her that Mei Zuo had never seemed to notice her existence before, but somehow, day by day, she was getting more and more annoyed. Until a few months ago, he didn't even know they were on the same class from fourth to sixth grade! How could he even remember, she was a close acquaintance of Tian Li?

Shaking these thoughts from her mind, Xiao Qiao focused on the twins' teacher.

"Yes," Xiao Qiao finally answered back. "I'm their brother's Mei Zuo's girlfriend."

"I see," the teacher said in understanding. There was a strange tone in her voice and a look of _something_ her eyes. In another second, they disappeared and the girl smiled warmly again.

"Well, I'm sorry, I haven't introduced myself yet."

Bowing once more, she added much to Xiao Qiao's surprise. "I am Senda Aisha. Nice to meet you."

-------------------------------

**Next chapter: **Aisha's sudden visit is putting Xiao Qiao's limit to the test; one wrong move from Mei Zuo and Xiao Qiao might break away completely. And what about Xi Men and Xiao You, and Tian Li and Jing don't they think they're taking their friendship a bit too far? Between break-ups and getting-to-know-each-other, would the right love finally blossom for the right couple? Find out next chap in **Between Pain and Pleasure.**

**AN: **I hope I didn't offend anyone with my take on jealousy. Some people would assert 'jealousy' means you don't love the person. I just disagree esp if one would point out that it was written in the Bible. To correct that notion, the love that is meant in the verse in Corinthians is 'agape' (old Greek language meaning love of God for man/unconditional). God's love isn't jealous because obviously it is divine(hey that's my name!). Human love on the other hand is but natural to be jealous though there would come a time when the relationship has grown stronger that the jealousy part could be overlooked. So that was why I wrote this chap, to show that DMS and SC's relationship has gone to a deeper level(hey! I'm not being biased here, okay? I mean they've been together for 2 years!); MZ-XQ, Lei-Jing, XM-XY and TL-XY on the other hand, need more work. Anyways, I'm rambling again, please excuse me. Well, hope to hear from you, dear readers! Any comments, suggestions and violent reactions are very much welcome. Well, see you next week(or maybe this Saturday)!

Oh, I hope I didn't offend anyone with the way I described Aisha. I know it was vague but I'm really just very bad in descriptions, I know. Also, I'm sorry for saying Lei's mother was Japanese. Err, I was just wondering why Lei's father's business was largely based on Japan.


	9. Between Pain and Pleasure

**AN: **Sorry for not keeping my promise to update after a week. My granny died. . . and so because I've been emotionally high, sorry too because I think the chap ended more angsty than I originally planned.

**pigelt:** so i was right. hehe, you were using piglet and i was thinking if you could be shielapiglet from faithful.  my nick there is leigh. anyways, about TL giving Lei a "look". . . it had a very good reason behind it. . . you'll be very shock of what he knows that lei doesnt seem to realize. . . you guys would find that out on chap 12/13. hehe, anyways about these couples' problems. dms/sc are doing perfectly well and i  dont intend to create any problem for them at all. mz/xq, well their story would be  concluded next chap.  lei-jing-tl-xy-xm love polygon would reach its climax from chap 11 onwards, so stay tuned! hehe, thank you so much for always reading. i really really appreciate it a lot!

**Disclaimer: **Yoko Komio owns HYD. Angie Cai owns MG. I own this fic. (Gee. I sound barbaric. . . )

Anyway, this chapter is dedicated to **bottle**, **sw** and **eljay**. Thank you guys for inspiring me to add Aisha to the story. Also, I would like to thank **Ms. Alice Santiago** for making me sooo happy, she sold me one of her limited Jerry For You CD. I cried so much, I thought I'll forever be haunted of that depressing day at UST. For the first time in my 4 years in UST, they had a 'brown-out' while I was on break so I had to wait until after my last class. . . then when I finally arrived at the bank, (at only 3 pm) they were already closed! I have been depressed but now I'm happier and inspired, I finally have my very own Jerry signed CD!!! And the necklace! Hehe, all of my classmates and friends are sooo jealous!

--------------------------

Chapter 9: **Between Pain and Pleasure**

It was scary. Really frightening, the way the man kissing her could turn her knees jell-o and her skin on fire.

Shan Cai can't even remember how they ended up kissing like this. All she knew, one moment, she was cleaning her boyfriend's room, scolding him for being such as slob; the next moment, she was so tired, she sat next to him on the bed. . .

Drowning in pleasure, Shan Cai whimpered slightly as Dao Ming Si nibbled on her lower lip. He has fond of that. . . not that she minded.

Pulling him closer, Shan Cai knew she should be concerned about the indecency of their position. Though twice, they had kissed like this, with Dao Ming Si on top of her, never had they had been pressed as closely before.

On the hotel room on Barcelona, Shan Cai had her arms on her chest, somehow avoiding too much intimacy. . . but this time, her hands were lost in Dao Ming Si's beautiful hair, her fingers lightly massaging his scalp, urging his kiss more.

They were so close. The hard planes of Dao Ming Si's upper body was pressing down on Shan Cai's soft curves, effectively trapping her down.

_Dao Ming Si. . . _His name kept repeating in her mind.

With a gentleness that was beyond amazing, Dao Ming Si's lips began to stray. His lips left a trail of fire as he traced along Shan Cai's jawline.

For Dao Ming Si's part, he had never felt as feverish as he did now. In the back of his mind, he reminded himself that he had to stop. He was going too far. . .

And yet, he couldn't seem to get enough of Shan Cai. Letting his passion-filled mind go on auto-pilot, Dao Ming Si's kisses went lower and stopped to Shan Cai's neck where her pulse was beating erratically.

He was treading uncharted territories right now. Before, he would let himself enjoy kissing Shan Cai but never more than that. He never even dared thinking doing more. . .

Right now, the need to pull away was so great, it was almost physically painful. . . and yet Shan Cai's fragrant hair, her sweet soft lips, the warmth of her kiss made it impossible for Dao Ming Si to pull away. . .

But as Shan Cai suddenly moaned into his mouth, Dao Ming Si quickly jerked back.

Looking down at her, Dao Ming Si watched as his love slowly opened her eyes.

Her eyes were filled with mixed emotions. The love was evidently there. . . but there's also that uncertain desire, half-pleading for him to continue. . .

But they can't. . . he can't. . .

Guiltily averting his eyes, Dao Ming Si pulled away and sat himself at the edge of his bed.

"Sorry," he mumbled out softly. He was saying sorry both to himself and to Shan Cai. . . both for going too far and not being able to continue. . .

For long moments, the room was filled with silence.

Finally Shan Cai sat up; tentatively she inched closer to her Dao Ming Si.

Leaning her forehead unto his back, Shan Cai softly began to cry.

Feeling his back getting wet by her warm tears, Dao Ming Si choked out jokingly.

"Stupid woman, why are you crying? You're making feel even more horrible. Didn't I promise that I'll never let you cry again?"

Whimpering slightly, Shan Cai clutched the back of his shirt in her fists. "Are you. . . disgusted with me?" she hesitantly sobbed out.

Slowly turning around to face her, Dao Ming Si stared fondly at his Shan Cai. He tenderly wiped away her tears.

"Never."

After everything that has happened between him and Shan Cai, they were almost ready to completely surrender to their love. They deserved that much. . . but as much as they needed to be together, Dao Ming Si knew he could never live with himself if he was to do something that could taint their perfect love.

Besides they were not in their rightful state of minds right now, too much passion was clouding it.

But though their passion could be overwhelming at times, he knew their love would always be stronger. One day when they finally let themselves enjoy the ultimate intimacy for a man and a woman, Dao Ming Si wanted it to be 'themselves.' The naive Dao Ming Si and the innocent Dong Shan Cai.

With gentleness rather than passion, Dao Ming Si leaned and kissed Shan Cai's forehead.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," Shan Cai whispered back.

For a long long time after that the two just sat there, loving each other's embrace. . .

----------------------------

It was hard looking at him, watching her. Such a perfect beauty.

He remembered when they were young, it was her physical gift that first drew him to her. She was always crying and Tian Li decided tears just don't suit her. Angels don't cry, do they?

So day by day, he would go to her. To be able to stop the tears in her eyes and bring smiles to her lips had been his greatest mission in life.

And he had done a pretty good job on it too. As days turned to weeks and weeks into months and finally months to years, he and Jing became as close as two people could be.

And though he still admired her outer beauty, her soul made him loved her. Loved her so very much. . .

Giving into his urge, he put his paintbrush down and turned to the woman beside him. Though not a natural-born artist, Jing liked painting along with him. At one time on their pre-adolescent years, she even took art lessons with him just so they could spend even more time together.

"Jing."

From her work, Jing turned to Tian Li, a small fond smile on her lips. It was a smile he knew well, it was a smile she reserved only for him. . .

"What is it, Tian Li?" she asked, her voice innocent and gentle.

Staring straight to those eyes of her, Tian Li knew he must be going insane for even thinking about the thing on his mind right now. . .

Many things have changed between them and yet the longing in his heart wouldn't let him rest. . .

"Can you model for me?" he whispered softly. . . pleadingly. . .

As expected Jing's eyes widened in surprise. She didn't say anything; she kept silent though her eyes showed much questions.

Like what he told Xiao You before, Tian Li had once told Jing when they were in the fifth grade that artists and musicians tell their innermost feelings through their works.

Looking through Jing's eyes, he could read the questions in them. How would he paint her this time? Will it be as a best friend? An ex-lover? Also, would it be fair to his fiancée?

Xiao You. He loved her, he truly did but somehow they were drifting apart. But it was not her fault, for it was his suggestion that they both try to resolve their past feelings. He even went as far as to encourage that she befriend his brother more. . .

And she also gave him the permission to see Jing. That's why he was there. . . rebuilding the friendship he had shared with Jing. . .

But now, the desire to paint Jing might destroy the friendship he wanted. . . he shouldn't play with fate and yet, he can't let go of the longing in his heart. The artist in him was shouting for him to use his brush to voice out his emotions. . .

Without thinking logically, he reached out a hand to touch Jing's cheek. He knew he shouldn't but he really missed this privilege. . .

"Please," he cajoled, his eyes locking perfectly into hers.

It took her a few seconds before nodding. He smiled gratefully at her. She smiled back.

After asking her to sit still and setting his easel, Tian Li was at first lost how to begin his painting.

The artist in him was pleased that he could express his feelings but at the same time the man in him was aching, the memories of how well he loved her was playing behind his head. . .

And yet somehow, his hands began to move across the canvas. . .

After twenty minutes, the painting was finished. . .

And what did the artist in him was able to tell the world what the man in him couldn't admit?

His pain and longing. . . that were mirrored through Jing's own heartbroken and yearning eyes. . .

-----------------------------

The food Xiao You had meticulously prepared had longed gone cold. It was almost ten in the evening and yet her fiancée was still not home.

_Tian Li, where are you?_ Xiao You found herself asking, even though she knew the answer.

Instantly tears formed behind her eyes. She knew exactly where Tian Li was; he was with Teng Tang Jing.

Of course, she had no right no be mad, no right to be hurt, and yet she missed spending time with him. Missed hearing his sweet voice whispering promises love in her ears. . . missed having his gentle arms around her. . .

Because of this, she decided to prepare a nice dinner for them. She had planned everything to be like the date they had months ago when Tian Li first came over to their house for dinner.

All day, she had been excited, thinking Tian Li would be very surprise. It took her a whole two hours to finish the gourmet meal made. Even before seven o'clock she had everything prepared but now it's been almost three hours and still there was no sign of her fiancée.

"Xiao You?"

Looking up from where she was sitting, Xiao You was surprised to see Xi Men, clad in his night robe, standing at the doorway of the dining room.

"Xi Men."

Frowning, he walked up to her. Staring down at her, he asked, "Why are you crying?"

Surprised, Xiao You's hand quickly reached to wipe her tears away. She almost didn't realize she was crying.

"It's nothing, I'm okay."

Not convinced, Xi Men turned to look at all the dishes prepared at the table. He turned back to Xiao You and asked, "My brother is still not home, yet?"

Unsure how to answer such a question, Xiao You averted her eyes. Forcing a smile on her lips, she opened her mouth, ready to lie for the sake of her fiancée. "It's okay. He called me up and told me he'll be late and I-"

Before she could finish, Xi Men had reached down and hurled her towards him. Crushing his warm body against her, Xiao You could only pull in her breath.

"Xi Men-"

"I know this isn't how you planned it," he began, burying his face into the curve of her neck. "But I'll be happy to eat the food you made. I'm not Tian Li but it'll be such a shame to waste your efforts," he ended tenderly.

If it weren't for his strong grip holding her to him, Xiao You would have thought she was dreaming. Sure, she knew Xi Men was a sweet talker but she never thought he could be so considerate of a woman's feelings.

_Why is he being so considerate of my feelings?_

Her mind didn't have an answer to that.

Hesitantly, she began to return his embrace; her arms lightly found its place on his back.

"Thank you," she whispered. It was so soft and yet Xi Men heard her.

Pulling back he stared down into her eyes. Never had the expression in his eyes been as open as it was now, Xiao You felt a tingling warmth fill her heart.

Xi Men was really acting strange. Actually, the past few weeks, he was acting more like Tian Li than Tian Li himself.

Even though it should be Tian Li, it was Xi Men who would greet her early in the morning. . . even though it should be Tian Li, it was Xi Men who she shared afternoon tea with. . . even though it should be Tian Li, it Xi Men who had come to stop her tears. . . even though it should be Tian Li, it was Xi Men who was now looking at her with so much emotions. . .

Suddenly scared, Xiao You quickly pulled away. Breathing heavily for a while, she recomposed herself before turning back to Xi Men with a nonchalant smile.

"Here, eat as much as you like," she said, motioning towards the food at the table. There had been no hint in her voice that indicated she acknowledged what has just happened between them.

Pretending she didn't notice how he was studying her, Xiao You casually served Xi Men the food that was supposedly for her fiancée.

After a while, as she watched Xi Men ate, Xiao You couldn't help but wonder how she felt about the situation right then.

Here was playboy Xi Men Zhong er Lang was sitting next to her, eating and complimenting on the food she prepared. It was such a sweet gesture that was ordinarily normal for her fiancée.

But contrarily, perfect Xi Men Tian had just let her, his fiancée wait for him for hours. He didn't even call to tell her he was going to be really late. It was the kind of callous thing people expected more from Xi Men.

Biting her lip, Xiao You was more confused than ever.

_First I fell in love with a playboy, of course I only ended up hurt. . . then I fell in love with Tian Li, who gave me so much happiness. . ._

_But now, it's Xi Men whose giving me happiness, while it's Tian Li whose breaking my heart. . ._

Closing her eyes, Xiao You felt as if her heart was getting torn into two.

_With them exchanging personalities like this. . . how will I even recognize the man I love?_

And of course, like before, Xiao You's heart didn't know how to respond except get torn even more. . .

-------------------------

"Good morning."

Stunned and confused, Xi Men could only stare at a chirpy-looking Xiao You. She was standing by the dining room's doorway, as if waiting for someone.

She looked completely different from last night. The tear-stricken face was gone, replaced by a cheerful face instead. But how could anyone go from one extreme mood to another in a matter of hours? She wasn't acting like nothing happened last night, was she?

"Xiao You-"

"I made you breakfast," she suddenly said, interrupting whatever it was he had to say.

Eyes widening, Xi Men stared disbelievingly at this fragile girl in front of him. Did he heard it right? Had she just said, she made him breakfast?

"Don't you mean you made breakfast. . . for my brother. . . and you're just offering me some?"

The smile on Xiao You's face faltered for a second, then she grinned wider.

"No, I made this breakfast especially for you. Tian Li probably wouldn't be up for hours anyway."

Though she spoke quite innocently, Xi Men couldn't help but hearing the tiniest hint of sarcasm in her voice. In a way once more, Xi Men felt her pain. Just like last night, though it had hurt him to see her cry because of someone else, Xi Men felt the sudden need to comfort her.

"Xiao You," he started tenderly, gently.

"I'll get your food ready," she interrupted again, as if she didn't hear him speak. Turning on her heels. Xiao You made a move towards the dining table to serve Xi Men a plate.

But before she could take a single step, Xi Men had his arm around her. He pressed her back to his front as closely as the border of decency allowed.

Just like last night, Xi Men felt Xiao You stiffened in his arms. Well, at least she didn't recoil his touch. . .

_I don't know if I should be happy that you're becoming disappointed in my brother. . . or I should feel bad that you're using me as his replacement, _Xi Men thought to himself.

"Xiao You, remember when you said we're friends?"

It took Xiao You a while before responding, "Yes."

Slowly turning her around, Xi Men stared intently down at Xiao You's eyes. "Then, if there's something wrong, you could tell me." Xiao You tried to avert her eyes, Xi Men didn't let her. He cupped her chin tenderly, forcing her to lock eyes with him. "I'm your friend," he whispered though he knew that's not what he really wanted.

Suddenly, without warning, Xiao You began to sob. Burying, her head on Xi Men's chest, her cries became louder.

Though, he had the girl he loved in his arms, Xi Men was feeling more ache than bliss right at that moment. . . It really pain him to see Xiao You like this. . . she was supposed to be a bride in just a few days over a month's time, she's not supposed to be sad!

She should be happy, why can't his brother make him happy?

_I want you to be happy Xiao You. I want to be the one to make you happy but at the same time, I know your happiness could only come from my brother. . ._

"I'm so confused. . . " Xiao You whispered, fist tightly creasing his expensive shirt.

Still hugging her to him, Xi Men could only think to himself.

_Me too. . . _

_-----------------------------------_

As the Ling twins chatter happily beside her, Xiao Qiao sat silent on the backseat. Her mind kept thinking back to Senda Aisha.

Exactly a week after they first met, the two of them met again as Xiao Qiao came to pick up the Ling twins again.

Senda Aisha. Though Mei Zuo had already hinted enough that he and Aisha had been quite compatible, he hadn't prepared her enough in meeting Aisha.

Aisha. She was exactly like Mei Zuo. Though she knew she was now Mei Zuo's girlfriend, Aisha had been friendly. The fact that Aisha didn't know that Xiao Qiao knew about her too proved that she really was a nice girl.

Yes, she was such a nice girl that even though Xiao Qiao knew her history with Mei Zuo, she couldn't even feel annoyed with her.

After meeting her, Xiao Qiao had debated whether to tell Mei Zuo that she met his ex-girlfriend. . . In the end, she decided against it, thinking that she and Mei Zuo were already having some problems, not that Aisha was much of a problem, but bringing back an old flame to their, as of now muddy, relationship might probably just turn the things much worse. . .

Suddenly, the ringing of her cell phone pulled Xiao Qiao away from her thoughts. Taking her phone out of her bag, she her call.

"Wei, Charles?"

Out of the corner of her eyes, Xiao Qiao saw how the twins suddenly turned to look at her. As she continued to talk to Charles, both Mei Li and Mei Lun seemed to be listening intently to the conversation.

After about three minutes, she hung up the call. She turned to stare back at the twins' questioning looks.

"What is it?"

But Mei Li only shook her head and took out a book to read; Mei Lun on the other hand was pouting.

"Who was that Charles?"

The tone of her voice reminded Xiao Qiao of Mei Zuo. "It was my friend from college."

"Just a friend?" she pressed. Xiao Qiao couldn't help but smile inside.

"Yes, just a friend."

"But he likes you, is that it?" Mei Lun continued to ask.

For a moment, Xiao Qiao didn't know how to answer that. What does a ten-year old kid know about the word like anyway?

"Well, I guess he does," she replied carefully. "He's very nice, I like him too."

A surprised Mei Li raised her head from her book.

"But not as much as you like Mei Zuo Ge Ge, right?" Mei Lun asked, grabbing Xiao Qiao's hand.

The earnestness in her eyes, the almost pleading tone in her voice caused Xiao Qiao to smile. The twins really like them.

Assuming the smile on her face as a yes, Mei Li went back to reading her book while Mei Lun let go of her hand.

A long silence followed but of course, she wouldn't a normal Ling Mei Lun if she stopped chatting for one minute.

"Jie jie," she began.

Xiao Qiao smiled. "Yes?"

"Senda Teacher is really nice, don't you think?"

The smile in Xiao Qiao's lips froze; so it wasn't just Mei Zuo, the twins were really quite taken with Senda Aisha too. "Yes, she's very nice," she answered after a while.

Mei Lun smiled, happy and contented. "She's really pretty too!"

Xiao Qiao could only nod.

"And I like her hairstyle," Mei Lun whispered. Thoughtfully, she took a fistful of her sister's hair. "Ei, Mei Li, I'll do your hair like Senda Teacher's, okay?"

Ling Mei Li, lost in big Harry Potter book, nodded absentmindedly.

Watching them, Xiao Qiao couldn't help but smile, the twins were polar opposites but they were even closer than Siamese twins could be.

Mei Li, the older twin, was a demure and quiet girl; Mei Lun, on the other hand, was gregarious and playful. Their taste in clothes, foods, music and movies are complete opposites too of course. Actually even their crushes are as similar as night and day.

Funny thing though was Mei Li, shy and introverted, had the biggest crush on loudmouth and domineering Dao Ming Si and it was fun loving Mei Lun who likes quiet and mysterious Hua Zhe Lei.

But then that's the mystery of human emotions. . .

Smiling to herself, Xiao Qiao watched as Mei Li tried to convince her twin to let her fix her hair Hermione style.

"C'mon, Mei Lun, you fixed my hair. Now it's my turn."

Pouting, Mei Lun reluctantly agreed at the end.

Not being able to stop herself in time, Xiao Qiao found herself saying, "You two are really different, aren't you?"

Two pairs of eyes stared innocently back at Xiao Qiao.

"I guess so," Mei Lun said as Mei Li started brushing her hair. "Is that a bad thing, jie jie?"

Xiao Qiao thought for a second. She and Mei Zuo were so very different and though it hadn't been causing too much problem now, it wasn't causing much too good at the same time.

"I don't know," she answered truthfully.

Looking up from her work, Mei Li suddenly spoke up. "I don't think it matters." Putting down her brush, she surprised Xiao Qiao and Mei Lun when she suddenly hugged her twin. "We loved each other!"

Recovering from her shock, Mei Lun hugged her sister back; instead of ten-year olds, they giggled like two-year old babies.

Watching them, Xiao Qiao could only smile half-amusedly and half-mockingly. . .

. . . such fresh and simple wisdom kids have. . .

so, her and Mei Zuo's incompatibility wasn't their biggest problem yet. . .

_We loved each other. . . we loved each other. . . we loved each other. . ._

Love. It was her and Mei Zuo's biggest problem yet. . .

---------------------------

As the wind blew on his face, Lei just sat as still as he could on the ledge of his favorite college hang-out, the rooftop.

It has been a while since he had been there. Back then when Dao Ming Si was still missing. Sitting next to a depressed Shan Cai during that time, he had tried his best to cheer her up.

Shielding his eyes from the glaring mid-afternoon sun, Lei wondered who would go and cheer him up at this time?

Just then, to his surprise, Dao Ming Si Shao Ye and Dong Shan Cai suddenly appeared in the horizon.

They were here; like him, Dao Ming Si and Shan Cai were visiting the past, and were lost in their own world. Watching them walking hand in hand, eyes all sparkles and stars, Lei suddenly felt a twinge of jealousy. But surprisingly it wasn't because of Shan Cai.

Yes, he loved Shan Cai; there would be no use of denying that but seeing her happy, happy with Dao Ming Si, wasn't what was making him jealous.

Actually, he was jealous that after all the things they went thru, Dao Ming Si and Shan Cai remained together. So many obstacles had been on their way and yet they reached the end of the road, their love more steadfast than ever. . .

Lei wondered when he would find that kind of love. . . The love that once you find, you would never ever let go. . .

As Dao Ming Si and Shan Cai disappeared into one of the buildings, Lei was suddenly reminded of Jing.

There were so many things he was regretting with his relationship with her.

Her. Teng Tang Jing, his very first love. For a long time, he had believed she would be the one girl he would love until the end. But being three years younger than her, wasn't easy. To her, he was just a kid. Painfully, he had waited for his time.

Finally, three years ago he thought his time had come. Returning home from France, Lei thought he could finally be with Jing. Before anything that could lead to that happen though, Jing announced she was leaving. Again.

Hurting inside, Lei had almost so easily given up. But with Shan Cai's help, he had found the courage to chase for his happiness. In the end though, he couldn't be brave enough.

For after finding out her engagement, he just suddenly left. Like a coward, he could only leave a letter behind.

When she didn't come in Barcelona to meet him, Lei saw it as the end for his feelings for Jing. Returning to Taipei, he had caused some problems for Shan Cai and Dao Ming Si. In the end, he realized he couldn't forget Jing after all. Once he even admitted to Shan Cai that he regretted giving up on his feelings too soon.

_In this world, there are two types of people who are mentally suffering from regrets. One is those who are not able to get the person that they love. The other is those who see their loved ones not being able to get any happiness._

Similarly, he regretted not being able to be with the two woman he had loved. In the same time, the regret with Jing was bigger. . .

Shan Cai. Though he can't be with her but at least she was happy, in the very least, Lei, knowing that was happy too.

But Jing. . . was she happy? Seeing her, with eyes full of longing, she was obviously not.

Until now, he kept wondering what would have happened if he had pleaded with Jing before to chose him. . . what would have happened if he told her he loved her. . . Would they have found love together? Would he have been able to make her happy?

Unlike she was now?

Jing. He wished she would stop pinning for Tian Li but somehow he knew it was hard. In a way, Lei understood her. Only now did he realized she was like him. Like him, she committed that greatest sin in friendship. . . falling in love with your friend. . .

Just like him, Jing was now torn between her feelings and her relationship with Tian Li. . . she can't help how she was feeling but at the same time, she didn't want to destroy her friendship with Tian Li. . .

It was hard to be in a friendship. . . it was harder to be in love. . . but the hardest thing was to tread the path in between. . .

Closing his eyes, Lei remembered the time in Barcelona when he told Jing, they could only be friends now. . . And yes, especially now, during this hard time on Jing, Lei wanted nothing but to be her friend and be able to share her pain. . .

. . . and yet, the problem was, day by day, he was finding out more and more that at the same time, the feelings in his heart. . . were definitely not just friendship. . .

---------------------------

"Ge Ge," Mei Lun's whining echoed in Mei Zuo's ears. Before, at the sound of his little sister's voice, he would turn around at once, ready to do her bidding.

But the sight in front of him seemed to have cut all connections from his mind and his spinal cord. . .

Seeing his brother kept on standing still as a rock, Mei Lun whined louder. "Ge Ge! Stop staring at Senda Teacher! Or I'll tell Xiao Qiao Jie Jie."

The said Senda Teacher blushed lightly while the said ge ge quickly snapped back to reality. He turned from Aisha to his little sisters. Mei Lun looked definitely annoyed while Mei Li was just sad. The looks in their faces indicated that they were annoyed their brother had been openly staring at some other girl; they loved Xiao Qiao as their true own sister already after all.

But about a week ago, the twins had started hounding him to either bringing them to or fetching them from their ballet class. Apparently they wanted him to meet their new 'cute' dance teacher.

Though they meant it only but innocent, Mei Zuo didn't want to meet any cute girl. Before when his sisters wanted him to meet a 'cute' person, he would gladly go and see her. His sisters were very young after all, to them a cute older girl was like some sort of an idol to them. And so even if the girl would not pass his standards of 'cute', he didn't want to disappoint his little sisters and just willingly agreed she was.

Ever since he met Xiao Qiao though, the twins never asked him to meet another 'cute' girl again. He suspected it was because the twins looked up at their Xiao Qiao Jie Jie as Snow White. Prettiest of them all. . . he agreed with them completely this time round.

So Mei Zuo was really surprised when the twins began to plead for him to go and see their teacher. He was horrified at the thought of pretending he saw a girl, other than Xiao Qiao cute. And so he refused his sisters' request, making up lame excuses that he needed to go to the gym. Mei Li, like the wise old soul she was, pointed out that gym training didn't exactly require everyday sessions, three to four times a week was the best.

Next he tried using his work as his excuse. Mei Lun had retorted that their mother always complained that he would without official reasons sometimes just suddenly leave the office, so he can definitely go AWOL for a few hours for them.

And so for his straw, he tried to tell the twins that something came up with F3. For a few moments, it worked; the twins had the biggest and longest crushes on them. The next minute though, Mei Lun said she knew what was going on with Lei. He had been postponing his return to Japan and there had been rumors of him trying to win back Teng Tang Jing. She threatened her brother that she would never talk to him again if he even thought of helping Lei with that. Mei Li, on the other hand, only began to softly cry. She had always like F4's leader and she said it was bad enough that her ge ge would be Dao Ming Si's best man, she would be very sad that her ge ge was helping with the wedding plans.

Feeling guilty for getting his sisters upset, Mei Zuo finally relented into the twins' request. He decided one small meeting couldn't possibly cause too much problem. For his sisters' sake, it wouldn't be hard pretending, he saw the said teacher cute.

But now face to face with the teacher, Mei Zuo realized that the problem would be _not_ pretending that the teacher was cute.

She didn't change much. Though a bit longer now, it was still the same brown hair he used to enjoy ruffling. Though serious at the moment, her eyes were the same expressive orbs that had intrigued him. And though drawn in a straight-line right then, her mouth was still the same one that had amused him with its clever lies. It would be a lie if he said that he didn't find Senda Aisha cute.

Oh God! Of all the dance teachers in Asia, why did it have to be Senda Aisha?

It's not that he didn't like to see Aisha. Of all his flings in the past, the one he shared with Aisha was the most honest and pure. She left him a nice memory but a memory that he had long chose to leave to the past. And now, she had to come back and right during a time when he was having problems with Xiao Qiao. . .

Oh no! Xiao Qiao! What if she finds out, what if she misunderstood? What if she. . .

"So how have you been Mei Zuo? It's been a while."

Shaken out of his reverie, Mei Zuo turned his attention to Aisha.

"I've been fine," he answered lightly, uneasily.

Weird. He never had been uneasy around any of his exes before.

After another lapse of silence, he decided it was only proper that he ask her how she had been in the last two years too; he added, "What about you?"

Aisha shrugged lightly, a tiniest hint of red in her cheeks. Mei Zuo chose to ignore what the blush could mean.

But apparently his sisters didn't want to let it pass.

"Do you know each other?" Mei Lun asked, her eyes as wide as they could be.

Mei Zuo and Aisha couldn't answer, didn't know how.

Mei Li turned incredulously at Aisha. "You're not one of ge ge's girlfriend from before, are you?"

But before Mei Zuo or Aisha could explain, Mei Lun suddenly cried out.

"No wonder Xiao Qiao Jie Jie is seeing that new guy now!"

--------------------------

_I'm overreacting. . . I'm overreacting. . . I'm overreacting. . ._

Mei Zuo's mind kept on chanting this line as he drove off to Xiao Qiao's music school.

The moment his sister had said the words, "No wonder Xiao Qiao Jie Jie is seeing that new guy now!", Mei Zuo had gone into panic.

Who was this guy? Why was he seeing his Xiao Qiao? How did this guy managed to sneak into Xiao Qiao's life with him around and most importantly, why did Xiao Qiao let that guy get close to her?

He grabbed Mei Lun's hand and demanded that she tells him what she was talking about. Maybe a little frightened at him, Mei Lun suddenly couldn't say anything. She pressed her lips together, silently staring at his frantic brother.

"Mei Lun!" he had snapped, frustrated that she chose to be as quiet as her twin sister that at the moment. "Just tell me!"

As tears formed in Mei Lun's eyes, Aisha quickly pulled Mei Zuo away.

"Mei Zuo! What are you doing? You should know better to snap like that at your own little sister, no less!"

Mei Zuo had only stared at her. He had no time to deal with her right now. . .

"Aisha-"

"Besides," she went right on, interrupting him. "You should know your own girlfriend better than have such jealous thoughts the instant you heard about another boy with her!"

He wanted to retort but at the end, he couldn't. She was right. He was ashamed of himself for being so jealous that he chose not to trust his girlfriend while Aisha, a complete stranger came to her rescue at once.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "You're right and to think you don't even know Xiao Qiao."

A look of concern passed in Aisha's face.

"Actually, I've met her since last week. Then yesterday too when she came to fetch the twins again," she said.

For a moment, Mei Zuo didn't want to believe her. If Xiao Qiao did saw her, why wouldn't she tell him?

Then another voice confirmed it as true.

"That's right."

Turning to Mei Li, Mei Zuo found her, hugging Mei Lun and comforting her.

"Mei Li."

"Ge Ge, it's true that Xiao Qiao Jie Jie met Senda Teacher already. . . and it's true what Mei Lun said." Lowering her eyes, she added, "Xiao Qiao Jie Jie even told us she likes Charles."

_Damn! _Mei Zuo cursed as he parked his car. _It was that guy I saw with her on the café! I should have put him in place then._

As Mei Zuo ran off to see Xiao Qiao, he saw her just in time as she was leaving the building. Mei Zuo stopped on his tracks, in the bottom of the steps, watching her and calming himself.

But suddenly, he realized Xiao Qiao was not alone. A boy, who was probably a senior in High School was standing next to her; a bit too close to her than Mei Zuo would have liked.

Still holding his composure, he watched as the Xiao Qiao talked to the boy. The boy, on the other hand, was looking at her intently and was practically absorbing her words.

Finally, the two bowed to each other. The boy, after smiling pathetically at Xiao Qiao, went back inside the building. Xiao Qiao, on the other hand, took her phone from her bag and dialed a number.

Mei Zuo remained where he was, half expecting that the call was for him; but his cellphone remained quiet. He began to charge up to her as he saw her talking to the person on the other line.

She didn't notice him walking towards her, she was just hanging up the call when Mei Zuo reached her.

"Xiao Qiao."

Startled, Xiao Qiao had almost dropped her phone. Realizing it was him, she smiled lightly.

"Mei Zuo."

Taking a step closer to her so he could put a hand around her waist, he asked, "Who was that on the phone?"

She raised an eyebrow. "You came all the way here to ask me that?" she asked as she tried wiggle out of his grasp.

Not wanting her to escape, Mei Zuo put another arm around her. Her eyes widen in surprise. "Just answer the question, Xiao Qiao," he said urgently.

Confused at his tone, Xiao Qiao tried reading his eyes for a while before answering. "It was my driver."

"Your driver?" Mei Zuo asked incredulously. Wasn't he supposed to be her driver? Then come to think of it, since last week, Xiao Qiao had stopped asking him to bring her anywhere. If it wasn't for him who would suddenly appear at her door at night, they would not have even went out even once at all.

With superwoman strength, Xiao Qiao pried his arms off her. Putting a good one meter between them, she began, "There's something up with you but I'm tired, Mei Zuo. Let's talk about it next time, okay?"

With that, she began to walk down the front steps of the building. When she reached the ground, a strong hand grabbed hers, stopping her. She turned incredulously back at Mei Zuo. His grip was too firm. . . it was almost painful.

"Mei Zuo-"

"Who was that guy you were talking just now?"

Had he gone crazy? Didn't he hear her just say it was her driver?

"I told you it was my driver."

"No. The kid you were with before that."

Kid? Oh did he mean Xiao De? He saw that too? How long had he been spying on her before he went and shown himself anyway?

"It was Xiao De, he had recently joined our cello group. He was asking me something," Xiao Qiao explained. Looking from his eyes to the arm that was holding her and back to his eyes, she asked, "Now, could you please let me go now?"

"No," was Mei Zuo's firm answer. He knew he sounded absolutely lunatic but he didn't care. Xiao Qiao was distancing herself from him; he can't let that happen. They would settle their problem right now.

"Mei Zuo, why are you-"

"The twins told me you were seeing that Charles." It was a plain statement, no accusations but still a powerful statement.

Xiao Qiao bit her lip but she didn't say anything.

Suddenly angry that she was once keeping him off again, Mei Zuo tightened his hand on her.

"Xiao Qiao!" His temperament was usually cool but he was at the edge right now. "Mei Li told me you like Charles."

Angered at his accusing tone, Xiao Qiao suddenly flared up again. Once more, she wrenched herself free from him.

"Yes, I saw him but not the way you're thinking! Yesterday, I went off to send him off. He's gone back to America." Glaring, she added. "Also about the I like him part, well, he's a good cello player! There's nothing wrong if I admire him for that!"

Mei Zuo stood stunned. She was really angry. Even when she had slapped him before, she was not this mad as she was right now. Until now, he had never heard her raising her voice before.

Her anger had sobered him instantly; he felt terribly guilty for upsetting her. He tried to take her in his arms to apologize but she quickly stepped back.

Also, she wasn't finish.

"Why do stubbornly refuse to let go of your annoying jealousy on every male I meet? First it was Charles, then last time it was Tian Li. Now you see me talking to someone you attack him too? I'm surprised that you still haven't decided to get jealous with F3 as well."

Mei Zuo gulped. She was really upset. It wouldn't be good if he admitted that for a nanosecond he had been suspicious of Xi Men's interest on her.

Just then, Xiao Qiao's silver car stopped just a few steps from them. Trying to regain composure, she turned briefly towards her car then back to Mei Zuo.

"I'm leaving first, let's talk next time."

With that she walked off, but she stopped at Mei Zuo's next words.

"I'm sorry, I'm just really upset because you've been keeping things from me."

Turning back to him, Xiao Qiao was confused. "Keeping things from you?" This time, she was not angry. She was plainly hurt at this new accusation. "What have I been keeping away from you?"

As plainly as he could, Mei Zuo answered her.

"Aisha."

For a while, she didn't say anything. Finally she gave into a small nonchalant smile. "Well, I'm sorry. I didn't know you would be so interested."

This time it was Mei Zuo's turn to be confused. "Why wouldn't I be? You're my girlfriend, I like to know the things going on around you."

"She's one of your exes," Xiao Qiao pointed out plainly. "You can't blame me if I'm not exactly too excited of meeting her."

"Well, you mean you're jealous?"

"No," came Xiao Qiao's definite reply.

"Then why didn't you?" Mei Zuo asked, once more getting frustrated. "I would have told you if I were you."

"Well, you're not," Xiao Qiao said, voice void of emotions. Laughing self-mockingly she added, "I guess that's another thing we have in difference."

Closing her eyes, small tears began to slid down her cheeks.

"So aside from differences in music genre, choices of food and hobbies, we're also completely different when it comes to speaking up our minds."

Her voice, so low and tired, was scaring Mei Zuo. She was so serious.

Then finally opening her eyes, Xiao Qiao brushed away her tears.

"It's so obvious. This is not working. We're not working."

Mei Zuo's mind had already been working overtime, wondering of ways to turn the situation better but the unexpected words from Xiao Qiao turned his whole body still, even his mind suddenly stopped its ticking.

After just gaping at her in a while, one trembling hand reached out to touch her arm. But just like how his knees were unsteady, Mei Zuo's grip was weak; Xiao Qiao had easily pulled herself away. . . again. She took two, no three steps away from him.

"Xiao Qiao," he groaned out.

Another small tear coursed down Xiao Qiao's pale cheek. "Let's just end this nonsense right here."

Cold dread chilled Mei Zuo instantly.

"What are saying? What does that mean?" he asked, the hint of his panic clearly evident in his voice. But they were all lost to his girlfriend's ears.

"Goodbye, Mei Zuo," Xiao Qiao whispered, her voice breaking. "I'm so sorry it didn't work out."

Without another word, she turned and ran towards the remaining steps towards her car. Her driver, who saw the whole scene between him and Xiao Qiao had the door opened at once. Mei Zuo stood there watching helplessly as the driver shut the door, taking Xiao Qiao out of his sight.

It was when the car began to pull off when memories of her began pouring into Mei Zuo's mind.

. . . the sweet smile. . . the lilting laugher. . . her worried face. . . her gentle touch. . . her soft voice. . .

_" I'm sorry, I don't know that piece."_

"_When I was little, I fell in love with a boy. . . "_

_"Then what are you waiting for now. . . You said it yourself. There are some things that should be left for guys to initiate."_

_"Goodbye, Mei Zuo. . . I'm so sorry it didn't work out."_

There was only one time Mei Zuo remembered of himself crying. It was that when an amnesic Dao Ming Si ran away from them, telling them he hated his past. The dismissal of someone he had treasured. . . someone he had thought of as a brother was overwhelming that he couldn't help shed some tears. That time, he turned away from Xi Men and Lei, hiding his face.

But not this time. . . he couldn't help. . . the pain in his chest was even greater than anything he had ever felt before as he watched the silver Mercedes take Xiao Qiao away from him forever. . .

And so, right there in the middle of the road for all the public to see, Ling Mei Zuo didn't even make a move to wipe away the lone tear that was running down his cheek . . .

----------------------------

**Next chapter: **The once happy-go-lucky F4 member Mei Zuo is down for a major breakdown and one of his past girls couldn't stand to see him like this. Between Mei Zuo's complete character change and Aisha's pleadings, would Xiao Qiao reconsider her own feelings? Find out next week in **Between Mei Zuo and Xiao Qiao.**

**AN:** I have nothing to say except please review. All complains/violent reactions could be directed at the comments page as well. Oh! Also, please feel free to tell me any mistake in my grammar, verb use, word use, narration, description, dialogue or sensory details, details inconsistencies and even typos, I'd really appreciate it and I'll be more than happy to edit my story. Thank you all in advance.

Well, the time has come for me to ask THE question. Ok, I know you would all hate me but here goes anyway. . . if it really comes down to a decision, would you rather see Jing and Lei together and let Tian Li have Xiao You(Xi Men. . . err, I'll think of something for him) or would you rather see Xiao You and Xi Men and have Jing and Tian Li together(with Lei. . . hehe, I dunno yet either)? Please choose one, dear readers.

If you have the time, please review on my Jerry fic too. 


	10. Between Mei Zuo and Xiao Qiao

**AN: **I have something to confess, hehe, I was just teasing you guys about the choosing part. . . actually, I have the whole story planned out; but whoever ends up with who will be revealed in the end. Hmm, that'll be in 8 chapters time(actually 7 since chapter 18 would just be like an epilogue). So just a little more patience, okay guys? Hehe, just some interesting facts though: 5 readers would rather see lei-jing and tl-xy, 6 would go xm-xy first leaving jing-tl, but also 3 readers had refuse to choose and both want lei-jing and xm-xy. Hehehe. Anyways, hope you all like this chap.

**piglet:** yup, you bet the look meant something real important. hehe, i want to tell u in advance that chap 13(the chap which would somehow explain the meaning of the look) would be dedicated to you, so please stay tuned! hehe, u are the 1 person that had been keen enough about tian li giving lei a strange look. hehe, since i'm such an OC myself, to congratulate you on your observations skills(and thus seeing a very vital hint to the story), i want to dedicate that chap to you, it's still three chaps to go before that but i sure hope you'll like it. well, thank you again. you never get tired of reviewing my fic, and i appreciate it a lot. thanks!!!

**Shopps:** well, as i've said before, i am incapable of making dms sad. about mz-xq thing, read this chap and tell me later what you think, ok? anyway about lei-jing-tl-xy-xm thing, in 7 chaps(8 if i add the epilogue) the story would end and thus the real pairings would be revealed, so watch it for it. hehe, just a question, are you a filipina too? if you are, are you here in the phils? hehe, just asking, i remember you saying 'salamat' before ksi. hehe. well, thanks a lot for reading and reviewing!

**xib:** oh, okay. i guess that's a good thing to me because it means i did a fair job on making tian li, right? hmmm, i'm glad you like the angsty chap, i was scared you guys wouldnt. anyways, thanks for reading and commenting again. i really appreciate it  
a lot.

**I-Smiles-U:** thank for reading and reviewing. dont worry tsukushi(sc) and tsukasa(dms) would still have their own small special moments throughout the story. the last chap will be on their wedding

**Disclaimer: **This story is purely a product of a crazy fan's imagination. I do not take credit to any of the characters here except for Tian Li. Aside from that, all things you recognize from MG and HYD belong to their respective owners(Angie Cai and Yoko Kamio) and not to me.

This chapter is dedicated to **sol**. To sol, please read my reply in the comments page as to why I dedicated it to you. Hehe, hope you like the chap!

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Chapter 10: **Between Mei Zuo and Xiao Qiao**

"What if we lock them in a room together?"

Dao Ming Si groaned. "Shan Cai-"

"What? You don't think it's a good idea? I think it is. If only they could talk, I'm sure they'll work things out." Shan Cai waited for any signs of affirmation from her boyfriend. All she got was an exasperated sigh. "What's with the sighing?"

Dao Ming Si rolled his eyes. How does one argue with this woman? So stubborn. Patiently he began, "I already told you, Shan Cai." He took a deep breath, bracing himself from her temper that would sure explode after. "We are not going to butt into this business of Mei Zuo and Xiao Qiao."

Shan Cai's eyes quickly widen in annoyance just as her eyes had the day before and the days before that. Ever since Xiao Qiao had broken off with Mei Zuo, she had been harping for the two of them to 'do something to help Mei Zuo and Xiao Qiao out.'

Surprisingly, Shan Cai didn't start yelling at him for being such an insensitive pighead, instead, with eyes glaring though, she stated stubbornly, "Yes we will. I already reassured Lei and Xi Men that we would."

"What?! Why did you promise them that?"

"Because they're so worried for him," Shan Cai explained. "But their own lives are so complicated right now so that leaves us." Looking at Dao Ming Si, Shan Cai was annoyed he still didn't look any more willing than before. "Why are you like that? Aren't you worried for Mei Zuo at all? He's so depressed and it's been a week already."

"Of course I'm worried," Dao Ming Si defended. After a while, he sighed. "I know how he must be feeling now after all." Softly, he added, "I've been there remember?"

At first Shan Cai didn't know what Dao Ming Si was talking about, or more precisely which of all their 'break-ups' he was referring to; but in a sudden burst of instinct she understood him.

"That time on the fishing village. . . " she mused out loud.

Dao Ming Si nodded, wincing in the memory. "I guess each person response to depression differently. Well, with me, after you left, I was in a state of shock, and then I started drinking my hearts out. I think I became a bit violent too."

When Dao Ming Si first started, Shan Cai felt a little guilty, knowing it was her 'I don't love you words' that did those to Dao Ming Si. But by the end of his speech, she couldn't help but laugh.

"You've always been violent."

For a moment, Dao Ming Si frowned and he even opened his mouth to retort. With a playful smile on her lips, Shan Cai stared defiantly back at him. In the end, it was Dao Ming Si who once more gave up.

"Fine," he muttered. Shan Cai couldn't help but giggle. Rolling his eyes once more, Dao Ming Si changed the subject. "Anyway, the point is we don't know what kind of depression Mei Zuo is in right now. It's not like we could have a logical talk with him if he's in shock. And I can't go and be his drinking partner because I had to work now." Sighing he added, "Besides, what if he's violent and-"

Surprised, Shan Cai couldn't help asking incredulously. "You're scared that Mei Zuo might hit you?"

"Stupid woman! I am F4's leader Dao Ming Si. I am the hei-" Suddenly realizing he was about to say 'heir of the big Dao Ming empire,' Dao Ming Si stopped. For a second, he had almost forgotten he had already given up that title.

Shan Cai, who caught unto his words too, lowered her head. Though incredibly touched that Dao Ming Si gave up everything for her, she still felt guilty about it. After all, her boyfriend lived the first twenty-two years of his life as a Dao Ming; she can't expect him to forget that, even for her.

Dao Ming Si, seeing the look that came into Shan Cai's eyes, was quickly filled with guilt. Reaching out, he took her hand and squeezed it lovingly. After a while, Shan Cai looked up and smiled in understanding.

"It's okay," she whispered reassuringly. She smiled at him and he smiled back.

How she loved his smile, when he smiled like that, she could truly believe everything would be all right.

"So what were you saying?" Shan Cai asked, a little disoriented. It was those eyes of his distracting her a bit too much. . . Such deep and expressive eyes. . .

"Huh?" Dao Ming Si asked out. He too had been quite distracted. Shan Cai seemed to grow lovelier as each day passed. "Oh, right Mei Zuo." Frowning he explained, "Well, you know how much Mei Zuo values F4's friendship, right?"

Shan Cai nodded. After all if Dao Ming Si's notable saying is 'If sorry is acceptable then what's the use of police?'; Mei Zuo's saying is 'F4's friendship is above anything else.'

Dao Ming Si sighed. "It's because of that I don't want to go and see him if Mei Zuo's being violent. I don't mind if he decides to practice some of his punches on me, after all our lives I've already given him much reason to, but I'm afraid after he gets tired of hitting me he'll feel very bad about it. Probably even get more depressed."

Biting her lips, Shan Cai realized he was right. She sighed wearily. Whoever said her boyfriend was a blockhead? She's finding out more and more that he could be quite perceptive.

"So what now then?" she asked.

Dao Ming Si shrugged his shoulders helplessly. "I don't know," he admitted dejectedly. Musing out loud he added, "Unless of course. . . "

"What? What?" Shan Cai asked excitedly. Did her not-so-blockhead boyfriend actually came out with a plan? "What is it?"

Dao Ming Si scratched his head. "Remember when you came back from the fishing village?" Shan Cai nodded. "For the first time, I didn't want to pursue you anymore." Shan Cai nodded again, this time a bit sadly because of the memory. "I really almost wanted to give up but Lei changed my mind."

"Huh? I don't get it."

Dao Ming Si shrugged again. "Well, I'm just thinking, Mei Zuo had lots of exes. Maybe one of them could say something to Xiao Qiao that could change her mind." He smiled fondly at Shan Cai, "When Lei told me he'll be pursuing you, it gave me a slap. Later, I thought after all I've already been through, why am I giving up now?" He gingerly tucked a loose strand of hair in her ear. "I'm sure all Xiao Qiao needed is a little shake too. After all didn't she wait for ten years for Mei Zuo already?"

Shan Cai smiled. Once more, Dao Ming Si had arrived at a logical deduction. Nodding, she agreed, "You're right. I remembered Lei had talked to me about not giving up too or I'll regret it." Thoughtfully she added, "So all we need to do is find a girl that could smack some senses into Xiao Qiao and Mei Zuo."

Dao Ming Si shook his head. "We don't have to look anymore." At Shan Cai's confused eyes, he added, "Aisha."

"Aisha? Oh yes, the Japanese girl. She was partly the reason of the problem too, right? Do you think we could talk her into helping Mei Zuo and Xiao Qiao out? What if she still likes Mei Zuo?"

Dao Ming Si sighed. "That's the problem. We can't force her to do this." He looked straight at Shan Cai.

"She needs to do this on her own will."

------

"I'm sorry, Mei Zuo but she still doesn't want to talk to you. I tried convincing her again and again but she kept refusing."

Mei Zuo sighed. It's been eight days since Xiao Qiao dumped him. Eight days and still she has not faltered from her resolution of an all-out keep away from him. She had not once returned any of his calls, not even once had she went to practice her cello, and now, even with prodding from her mother, she still didn't want to have anything to do with him. This was really really bad.

"Well, thank you Auntie. Sorry for bothering you."

After a little more thank you's and sorry's, Mei Zuo politely hang up on the call. He glanced at his watch.

Two-fifteen. Great. It was still fifteen minutes before his kid sisters were let out from their ballet class.

Leaning back on his seat and closing his eyes, Mei Zuo groaned. What was wrong with his mom? She must know he was suffering depression and she just had to demand that he pick his sisters.

_"It must be your fault that Xiao Qiao did what she had to and I'm punishing you so even if you don't want to, I'm ordering you pick your sisters."_

Mei Zuo groaned again. The last few days told him that surely the break-up must have been his fault. He had been too possessive, too jealous of everything. . . he didn't blame his mom for punishing him. . . But picking up the twins wasn't exactly a good idea. What would happen if. . .

"What are you doing Mei Zuo?"

His eyes jerking opened, Mei Zuo found himself, staring straight to Senda Aisha's eyes.

"Aisha," he started, suddenly feeling nervous. He cautiously looked around the place.

Aisha laughed. "Don't worry, it's not like Xiao Qiao would appear out of thin air."

Mei Zuo's small eyes suddenly turned big. She had just read him like a book.

_"I just feel like you guys had a lot in common." _

Xiao Qiao told him that once. Mei Zuo never really knew how right she was. He and Aisha really do have the same wavelength.

But did he really care? He loved Xiao Qiao now. And only loved her.

"Aisha, listen to me and understand," he started.

"What?" she asked innocently, sitting down next to him.

Mei Zuo quickly tensed up. Oh god! It's been more than two years! Surely, she still doesn't like him, right?

Aisha leaned closer to him. "What it is Mei Zuo?" She boldly took his hand to hers. "You know I'll understand," she said, tone full of meaning and innuendo.

Mei Zuo pulled his hand away. He leaned away from her, suddenly he felt suffocated. "Sorry but I can't."

There was confusion in Aisha's eyes at once. "Why?" She looked away, her eyes suddenly wistful. "I came back here hoping to see you. You don't know how thrilled I am when I first saw your sisters." She turned to smile shyly at Mei Zuo, "Destiny, I had thought. But I found out about you and Xiao Qiao, I really felt sad."

"Aisha-"

"But you guys have broken up now, right?" Aisha continued, not waiting for him to say anything more than her name.

Mei Zuo didn't answer. For long moments, he just sat there, staring at Aisha.

Finally, Mei Zuo broke their stare. "Sorry," he whispered. He didn't want to hurt her but he can't give her any false hope. The only way now was to be completely honest with her.

"That time you left and told me that line, that very night I asked a bartender what it meat."

"I'll think of you when I return to Japan," Aisha whispered.

Mei Zuo found himself smiling slightly. "Right. You see though I'm a playboy, I'm different from Xi Men in the way that all my girlfriends knew exactly I just want some fun. Not one of those one hundred gave honest feelings to me. Some of Xi Men's girls on the other hand, are actually naive enough to believe his words. Though they knew he was a playboy, somehow they would convince themselves he was serious with them and so after a week, he would end up some slaps now and then."

Mei Zuo's smile grew wider, more fond. "I never got a slap. . . until Xiao Qiao came along."

Aisha bit her lip. "Are you telling me I should slap you to prove my feelings?"

"No." Turning back to her, Mei Zuo smiled. "You know you didn't have to slap me. Your words when you said you would think of me when you go back to Japan was enough." Reaching out, he ruffled Aisha's hair just like the way he used to before. "You were the first to give me such feeling, Aisha. Thank you."

He watched as Aisha's cheeks turned a little pink. She was really cute but she was also part of the past. "You know, I did like you too but I. . . "

". . . loved Xiao Qiao now?" Aisha finished for him.

Mei Zuo smiled. Once more, she read him like a book.

"But she had broke off with you. What if she didn't reciprocate your feelings anymore?"

Mei Zuo chuckled. "It's a nice feeling to know that you are liked, but Xiao Qiao taught me something more important. Through her silly story about loving a boy for ten years, she taught me that to love, than be loved, is more precious." He began to shake his head in his own memory, "You won't believe the things I did. Saved her cello, even though it was my rival, all because I knew it was special to her. . . " Mei Zuo smiled slightly at Aisha. "So it doesn't really matter if she doesn't love me anymore. If she would let me, I'll try my best to win her back."

Hearing his sappy speech, Mei Zuo could have sworn he saw Aisha smile a little. "You really love her, don't you?"

Mei Zuo didn't answer, only turned his eyes heavenward as if in a silent prayer.

_Please, just let me win her back. . ._

_----_

Jing brushed an invisible speck of lint from her long black skirt. Even though all her mirrors assured she looked decent enough, she couldn't help feeling anxious.

As she nervously ran her fingers through her hair for what seemed like the hundredth time that night, she groaned.

_Pull yourself together, Teng Tang Jing. You're twenty-six, not sixteen in your first date! _she scolded herself.

But in a way, tonight did feel like her first date. Not only was she scared of how media could get all excited about the fact that finally after the last two and a half-years, she was actually going out again; but more importantly the feeling of faint was also because of the thought of who her date was.

Lei. It was a good thing he had just asked her over on the phone or else he would have seen her reaction. Surprised. Hopeful. Apprehensive. The mixed feelings within her would have definitely alarmed him. And she definitely didn't want that.

After all that has happened in the last few years, Jing was truly afraid that her relationship with him had been scarred forever. But ever since she came back, Lei had been very warm to her. Not once had he blamed her for how things turned out. . . Not once had he made her feel regretful of the things she chose. . .

Forcing herself not to dwell on the past, Jing thought of the last couple of days instead. She placed gentle hand on her chest. Tian Li had not visited her ever since that day he drew her. Of course, he couldn't blame him. His wedding is less than a month away, how could she expect him to go and visit her?

But still, she felt a bit lonely. Tian Li was the only one who understood what she was going through right now. When he was with her, it gave her comfort, knowing even without saying a word he could hear the feelings in her heart.

But then knowing Tian Li was not with her because he was with Xiao You reduces her feelings of loneliness as well. Tian Li found love for the second time. It should give her some reassurance, some hope, that one day her heartbreak would heal too, right?

As their butler knocked on her room door, announcing her date's arrival, Jing couldn't help but wonder how her heartbreak would heal if _this _keeps up.

Getting up from her chair, she walked out of her room. Then slowly going down the stairs, Jing thought of Lei and how sweet and caring he had been to her the last few days. While, Tian Li stayed away, Lei continued his visits. Though it made her happy, in a way it scared her.

Lei. Why was he being so good to her? Was it because he truly cared enough to be so concerned of her feelings? Or was it because he pitied her? Or worse, what if it was to get over his own heartbreak?

Arriving at the living room, Jing pushed her thoughts aside. She forced a smile as Lei greeted her at once.

"You look great, Jing," he whispered, though a bit hesitant his voice had been sincere. His eyes also had this softness that warmed Jing's heart.

But as he led her out and towards his car, Jing couldn't help being apprehensive again.

She and Lei had come a full circle. First they were friends, then they shared a little more than friendship in Paris, but as if it was not meant to be, they only ended up all too soon.

And now after being friends again, here they are daring to border more. . . foolishly again. . .

_I can't do this. . . I don't want to set myself to get hurt all over again. . ._

_---------_

"You know I've been to one of the world's most beautiful university but I can honestly say Ying De is just as beautiful."

Lei smiled. Jing had looked so relaxed and carefree the whole night that he couldn't help but congratulate himself on their date.

After finding out Xi Men Tian Li had not visited Jing in a week, Lei felt that maybe he had been overreacting. Maybe Tian Li truly was in love with Xiao You. Maybe Jing truly was over him; if anything, maybe it was time to give his relationship with her a second chance.

And to think he had almost backed out; before he finally gathered enough courage to ask her out, it took him five unsuccessful calls. He had quickly disconnected all of them the second he dialed her number. On the sixth try, Jing had answered at once so he was forced to finally ask the question. Though she sounded a bit unsure, Lei was pleased she agreed in the end.

After the call, Lei started planning their night out. On the middle of his planning however he suddenly realized why Jing sounded so hesitant about the night. Aside from her hesitation to open up to him, she could also be scared of the media. After all ever since she came back, they had been waiting for any opportunity to get to her. After all her she and Xi Men Tian Li came to the point were they were practically good as engaged, so how does she feel now that he was engaged and to some unknown girl to the society too?

Realizing that, Lei knew he couldn't let Jing go through any of that. So thinking it over, he almost had the urge to cancel their date; it's not like there was any place he could bring her that she wouldn't be spotted, is there? Just as he thought of that, an idea struck him and now, watching Jing's glowing face, he was very glad that it did.

After picking her up at seven, he surprised her when he brought her to _their _special place. Yes, that special playground on their old school. Jing's eyes quickly sparkled with delight and knowing he was the one who did that made Lei's heart jumped with happiness as well.

So there in that playground, they took fun in swinging. As they swung higher and higher, Lei had became transfixed at the image Jing made. Her long loose hair flying all around her. . . her dress flowing in the wind. . . the contented smile on her face, it was a sight he had craved to see for so many years.

After the playground, they went straight for the nearest McDonalds. Deciding people could recognize his silver Benz, Lei parked his car a good few blocks away. Then thinking they themselves could be spotted by anyone, Lei then handed Jing a cap and a pair of shades. Their disguises were perfect and they were able to order take-out without anyone noticing them. After on Lei's car, they had a good laugh on their little jaunt while they ate their food.

After all that, finally they were here, Ying De's famous rooftop. Jing had been admiring the scene for some time now. Lei, on the other hand, enjoyed himself watching her.

"This place is really nice," Jing said, pulling Lei out of his reverie. She turned to him, "How did you know this place?"

Lei half-smiled, recalling his college memories. "This is my hang-out. When I'm bored, I go here."

"Really?" Turning back to look over the grounds, she continued, "You could see all of Ying De from here." She turned a teasing smile towards Lei, "then you must have seen everything that was happening then."

"I don't know," Lei started. He smiled at Jing, "I don't care about others' business."

Jing laughed.

Lei smiled again. Then fondly he added, "Besides nothing interesting, except for Ah Si's daily tantrums ever happened in Ying De until Shan Cai." Obliviously how Jing's eyes suddenly flickered with a new emotion, Lei continued, "Before Shan Cai and I used to sit here and-"

Suddenly, Lei stopped, finally noticing the change in Jing. He realized with a pang that it must be of his mention of Shan Cai.

Shan Cai. Jing was probably thinking he was still pinning for her. But Lei only mentioned her casually. And he did it because day by day, he knew he understood more and more that she and Dao Ming Si belong to each other. And that alone had helped ease away his pain.

Jing turned away from him to look out over the grounds again. "You know I already told you this before but I'm really jealous of Shan Cai."

"Jing, you don't understand" he began. For some reason, he didn't want Jing to think he still thought of Shan Cai.

"Actually I do, Lei," she said, cutting him off. "F4 shared a lot of good memories with her. Though I knew you boys from our childhood, I feel that it's nothing compared to what you guys went through together."

Though Jing used the words 'F4' and 'boys' Lei could also feel that she actually meant specifically him.

Turning back to Lei, Jing forced a smile. "She's very lucky. Shan Cai. For she saw how my F4 boys turned into men."

A long pregnant silence followed. Finally, Lei broke it.

"Jing, we could always create other good memories."

His words were both question and statement. He watched for Jing's eyes for any sign of response, but they were impassive.

After a while, Lei finally decided to end this torturous silence. But all through the long drive back to her house, not a word was spoken either.

Finally they arrived in Jing's home. Before going up the grand staircase, Jing turned to Lei. "Thank you for the night Lei. Good night." Turning around, Lei suddenly had the need to try again. She may still be thinking of Tian Li, may be still reluctant to start something yet but it wasn't reason enough to stop him. In the back of his mind, Lei could almost hear Dao Ming Si urging some more persistence on his part. So even if before Lei would always let Jing go without a fight, this time he didn't want to. . .

He grabbed her wrist forcing her to look back at him.

"Jing, I really enjoyed tonight." He looked long and meaningfully into her eyes, "We should do this again sometime."

For a while, Lei thought he would once more get rejected as Jing pulled away from his grasp.

But she only did that so that she could touch his face. "I really enjoyed tonight too," she whispered. Then before turning and proceeding up the stairs, she gave him a small smile.

Watching her walk up, Lei remembered her small contented and sincere smile; he felt some sort happiness that he couldn't explain. Also even if she didn't exactly promised him anything, the feeling of her hand on his face gave him some hope that maybe they could really have a second chance.

Feeling happier than he had been in years, Lei too smiled.

----------

"Xiao Qiao, darling someone is here to see you."

From underneath her bed sheets, Xiao Qiao groaned. Could this someone be another of Mei Zuo's cronies? After all for the eight days, he had not ceased to surprise her with all the people who he had managed to employ to get her see or simply talk to him, but now, the ninth day since their break-up, she doesn't plan to be surprised whoever it'll be. After all four days ago it was their butler. Five days ago her music professor. Yesterday, it was her mom! She was tired of all these, unless it was father, who was unlikely, who was now waiting to convince her, Xiao Qiao didn't planned to be any courteous at all.

"Xiao Qiao, dear," her mother called again from the outside her room.

With great reluctance, Xiao Qiao got out of her bed and walked towards the door. Opening it, she resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the sight of her mom's cheerful face.

"Who is it this time?" she asked.

Her mother ignored the evident sarcasm in her tone, instead she began to lead her towards the second floor living room.

When they finally arrived at the room where her guest awaits, Xiao Qiao could only take a sharp intake of breath.

Oblivious to her current situation, her mother continued with the formalities. "Dear, this is your guest, Senda Aisha."

Aisha smiled, getting on her feet. She bowed in her polite Japanese greeting. "I hope I didn't disturb you, Xiao Qiao," she said.

Xiao Qiao could only stare at her. Surely, Mei Zuo didn't ask Aisha to go and talk to her, did he? Oh! This was too much for her to take.

Still not noticing the unhealthy tension between the two ladies, Mrs. Ying turned to Xiao Qiao.

"I already gave her some tea, but if you need anything just say so." Then turning back to Aisha too, she excused herself from both.

An awkward silence befell the two ladies. After about a minute, Xiao Qiao gathered her wits enough to motion for Aisha to sit down. Aisha bowed, thanked her and did just that. Xiao Qiao, on the other hand, sat herself across from her. Once more a long silence followed.

"Well," Aisha said, finally breaking the silence. "I came here to ask you something."

Xiao Qiao didn't say anything. She looked down at her lap.

"You see, Xiao Qiao, I think I know what's wrong."

Looking up, Xiao Qiao asked, "What do you mean?"

Aisha smiled. "I mean, yours and Mei Zuo's problem, it's not really that you're incompatible, is it?"

Xiao Qiao's eyes widen in this girl's forwardness. "I'm sorry to be rude but I don't really think that's any of your-"

"Actually, I think it is," Aisha interjected. Xiao Qiao wondered whoever insane person ever said Japanese girls were polite?

"You had broken up with Mei Zuo because you believed you and him are incompatible. On the other hand, you think him and I are, so I think in a way I have a right to have a say in this matter."

Xiao Qiao lowered her gaze unto her lap again. Though it was her home, the words Senda Aisha said suddenly intimated her.

"You know when I met Mei Zuo, and it was really nice. We had quite a time together so when I left I told him I'll think of him. I know he had enjoyed our time too and so I kept thinking, hoping that maybe he'll go and pursue me. Even though I was in Japan, I wanted to believe that he would look for me. Surely, if he wanted to, he could. He had proven me the power of being a F4 member to convince me that he could definitely find me if he really wanted to."

Before continuing, Aisha took a deep breath. "Many months passed but my wish never came."

Hearing the sadness in her voice, understanding exactly the feeling, Xiao Qiao looked up to Aisha.

"You still like him, don't you?"

Instead of answering, Aisha returned the question to her, "And you still love him, right?"

Xiao Qiao couldn't answer after that.

Finally, she said, "But I'm too tired. I already waited ten years."

Aisha looked at her in amazement. "Ten years?" Suddenly, she laughed. "I really admire you, ten months after I told Mei Zuo that I'll always think of him, I met another guy and fell in love."

The reaction in Xiao Qiao was priceless.

"I don't understand. . . " she began.

Aisha smiled. "Look, Xiao Qiao, I'm sorry for coming back and causing problems with you guys but I only came back to teach dancing for a couple of weeks, the thought of running into Mei Zuo didn't even seriously crossed my mind." Her smile turned a little shy, "I've met this guy and we're really in love."

"What?"

Aisha couldn't help but giggle. "And to think you thought Mei Zuo and I have the same wavelength? Hah! He couldn't even tell I was pulling his leg when I told him yesterday that I still liked him."

Incredulous, Xiao Qiao could only stare at Aisha. Despite all the things she felt about her, at that moment, Xiao Qiao knew Senda Aisha truly was a nice girl.

"Pull his leg? But why did you do that?"

Aisha shrugged. "Well, I can tell you really love him and I want to know his feelings."

The moment she said that, Xiao Qiao's eyes turned glassy.

Aisha watched Xiao Qiao's expressions closely. She had her own suspicion of what Xiao Qiao's problem was and now it was time to find out if it was right. "Mei Zuo told me yesterday that you taught him that to love is more important than to be loved." An expression flickered in Xiao Qiao's eyes. It was definitely pain.

And so it must mean her guess was right. "That's it, isn't it? That is actually the reason of all this, right?"

Just when Aisha thought she would never answer, Xiao Qiao whispered softly.

"Yes."

----------

Smiling to herself, Xiao You stole a glance towards her fiancée.

He was so beautiful, both inside and out. Xiao You couldn't even described the feeling to happiness and luck for have a man such as Tian Li to herself.

More than a week ago, she had cried her eyes out, thinking the man she loved had changed. Enveloped in Xi Men's arms, she realized that Tian Li was drifting away from her. And in a way, it was her fault. . .

And as she continued to cry, a helpless Xi Men could only do so much to sooth her. Obviously not knowing much in serious relationship, his best advice had been to her was to try talking things out with his brother.

So, desperate more than anything else, Xiao You followed Xi Men's advice. That very night, she had cried all-out once more. Not in front of Xi Men this time but in front of Tian Li.

The moment her tears started, his gentle arms quickly went around her. "Xiao You, what's wrong?" he had asked, his warm hands, stroking her back.

She sobbed, burying her head deep into his shirt. "It's silly but. . . " Looking up, she pleaded with him. "Please don't see Teng Tang Jing anymore."

Tian Li's face quickly registered shock.

"If you want, I'll even break whatever I have now with Xi Men. There's nothing to forgive and forget anyway, I'm over him. I don't have to speak to him, if you want I won't even look at him-"

Whatever Xiao You's next words were lost as Tian Li's lips tenderly pressed against hers. His kiss continued for a few heady and breathless moments before finally pulling away. Opening her eyes, Xiao You found Tian Li softly gazing down at her.

"You really are silly." Playfully, he tweaked Xiao You's small nose. "You don't have to stay away from my brother, you said you're over him, and I believe that because I love you and I trust you." Kissing her forehead first he added, "And if you don't like me seeing Jing, I'll understand too."

Tian Li pulled away a little, so he can look into her eyes. "I won't go see Jing anymore," he had promised.

And so, though her request had been a truly selfish one, her fiancée did it without a word of complaint. And now, more than a week has passed and not once did Tian Li left to visit Teng Tang Jing. She was so happy that even if he said that he didn't mind, Xiao You had kept her distance from Xi Men. After all, there really isn't anything to heal anymore, right?

She was over Xi Men, that was it.

Clearing thoughts of Xi Men away, Xiao You focused on staring lovingly at Tian Li instead. She silently thanked all the gods up in heaven for giving her such a great man. A great man who was in less than a month would be her husband.

After a while, Tian Li finally noticed Xiao You's intent gaze on him; he turned away from wedding paper work he had been so busy with.

"What?" he asked, his voice light. "Is there something in my profile that is more interesting than the guest list you should be finalizing?"

Xiao You shook her head, laughing. She hadn't really even noticed how long she had been marveling about her fiancée. She smiled back at him. "Not much really. I just got distracted a little."

"Just a little?" Tian Li teased. "I've always believed I looked good enough to distract girls big time."

Those were of course said jokingly and it instantly worked. Xiao You found herself giggling again.

Leaning her head on his shoulder, Xiao You added, jokingly too.

"My. I didn't know you had such an ego." Then taking his hand lovingly into hers, Xiao You said with full sincerity.

"But then again, I think you have every right."

-----------

"You're perfect, you know that?"

Silently watching by the doorway, Xi Men winced hearing Xiao You's words. He had been watching Xiao You and Tian Li for a while now. After dreamily staring up at his brother, Xiao You had just leaned her head into his shoulder. It was such a mushy scene that Xi Men honestly wanted to run and gag, but his feet had refused to move. Stubbornly they remained nailed to the floor and so forcing him to listen more into the conversation.

Tian Li shook his head. "No one's perfect, Xiao You."

"But I really think you are," Xiao You whispered. In Xi Men's opinion, she looked so damn comfortable and contented in Tian Li's arms.

For the millionth time in the last few days, Xi Men mentally kicked himself. Though it would have been selfish, he shouldn't never urged Xiao You to resolve her problem with Tian Li.

If only he did some confessing of his feelings, maybe now the wedding was off.

Or if only he did perhaps some begging, maybe Xiao You would be in his arms now instead of still Tian Li's.

Ultimately, if only he did something, anything, then maybe he wouldn't be in this big a predicament right now.

Xi Men sighed. But he was. Taking a deep breath, he prepared to do what his mother wanted him to do.

Stepping away from his hiding place, Xi Men tried his best to stroll into the room as casually as he could. His brother, who was not really fond with public display of attention, tensed up a little. Xiao You herself pulled away from Tian Li too.

"Sorry for the interruption," Xi Men said, trying to keep his voice neutral. Glancing at the papers in the table, he added, "I hoped you guys aren't finish yet with the table arrangement for the guests."

"No we aren't," Tian Li said. "Why? Is there something you want as to do? Seat you next to some lovely girl, perhaps?"

Trying not to blush, Xi Men wondered whatever happened to his stiff and serious brother? Since when did he enjoy making jokes all of a sudden?

"Actually," Xi Men began, stealing a furtive glance towards Xiao You. She wasn't looking at him at all. "It was Ma's idea."

Tian Li laughed. "Oh matchmaking, I see."

Still Xiao You didn't look up. Obviously, she didn't care. Wasn't interested at all.

With a pang, Xi Men realized how once more Xiao You was keeping her distance from him. Sure, she would still talk to him, but the formality was so painfully there.

Xi Men shook himself inwardly. At this rate, with twenty-seven days before Xiao You and Tian Li's wedding, he should just probably just admit defeat. Clearly Tian Li and Xiao You loved each other, he should just accept it already.

_It's really really hard though,_ Xi Men thought as she watched Xiao You fumble with a pen and paper.

"So what table should we put you?" she asked, voice all business and detached.

Xi Men tried to force a smile. It was so hurting to have Xiao You treat him like this. "Guo, please," he replied, trying to act casual.

But apparently, his brother didn't see something normal about it. He began to laugh; Xi Men felt a sudden pit in his stomach. It was both of annoyance and resentment.

"Guo? I should have guessed."

Xiao You turned to her fiancée. "Why?"

Though he already knew he should give up, Xi Men couldn't help hoping that Xiao You was asking because of him. But then again, she could only be interested because Tian Li said he guessed so.

"Because Mrs. Guo is Ma's good friend and her daughter was Ah Lang's childhood friend."

Even through her profile, Xi Men saw how Xiao You's eyes flickered with surprised then supposition.

"Yeah," Xi Men found himself saying.

Xiao You turned to him and the moment felt so surreal to Xi Men. It has been days since she last looked at him in the eye.

Looking back at her innocent eyes, Xi Men wondered however he managed to say the name he said.

"It is Xiao Gen."

----------

Looking at his reflection in the mirror, Mei Zuo resisted his urge to button up the first button of his shirt. But remembering his resolve of changing his lifestyle, all to please Xiao Qiao, he decided against it.

Mei Zuo, a man used to teasing girls with his suggestive dance moves and sexy fashion sense, knew he looked ridiculous in the plain button down white shirt and simple denim pants. The conservative look obviously just doesn't go with him; but its been exactly a week and three days since Xiao Qiao had ended their relationship, after calling her up endlessly, looking for her at her music school and pestering even her mother had not helped him, he knew _this_ was his last shot. If needed be, though it was too late to start learning now, Mei Zuo was ready to study music. All these for Xiao Qiao. . . only for Xiao Qiao. . .

With one last look at his new image, Mei Zuo turned on his heels and left his room. He was going to visit F3. After all, he didn't want them to worry anymore; he knew his depressed mood had already lately. The four of them were brothers; he knew they were worried for him. After all, he had been there.

But it's been like a billion years ago, that time Dao Ming Si had helplessly cried in front of him and Xi Men. He didn't understand why his bossy and difficult friend could be so hang up with one woman.

But the moment, Xiao Qiao said "it's over" Mei Zuo finally understood Dao Ming Si. Losing the love of your life wasn't exactly the greatest feeling in the world. . .

Suddenly, Mei Zuo stopped on his tracks the moment he stepped into the front living room. Was he seeing things? Had his depression progressed another level again? After going through denial, pain and then desperation, was he now hallucinating as well?

But she looked so real. Sitting there smiling and hugging the twins to her chest. . .

"Xiao Qiao."

Three pairs of eyes turned to him in shock but Mei Zuo was only drawn to Xiao Qiao's. . .

She smiled slightly, uncertainly. "Hi," she whispered, voice not hinting anything that she could be feeling or thinking at that moment. Then turning to the girls in her arms, her smile grew bigger. "I have to talk to your ge ge for a while, I'll go see you two before I leave okay?"

The twins nodded reluctantly. They hugged Xiao Qiao again first before pulling away. Walking up to their brother, they both gave him a look. Mei Li with simple encouragement. But with Mei Lun, aside from the support there was that some threat.

_Don't hurt her again_, her eyes were practically saying.

Then with that, the two girls raced off leaving Mei Zuo alone with Xiao Qiao. Oh gods, finally. After the last ten days, finally she was once more in a reachable distance from him, in a way it gave Mei Zuo some hope.

He took furtive steps towards her, afraid she would decide on leaving before he could have a chance to say what he wanted. He stopped three feet from where she sat. He tried to say something but his mouth refused to form any words.

Seeing his predicament, Xiao Qiao pitted him and decided to be the one to kill the tension between them. She smiled and began, "I'm sorry for dropping by without notice like this. When I arrived a few minutes ago, your Butler Fred was about to call on you but the twins saw me first and I told him I'll talk to you later. I'm sorry to have surprised you."

For the first time in days, Mei Zuo smiled. "It's nothing. It's a very good surprise." His words caused a slight blush on her cheeks. There was a little look of something in her eyes; she turned away for a second but turned back to him on the next one. "Xiao Qiao-" he began.

"Mei Zuo, please let me have my say first," Xiao Qiao quickly interrupted.

Mei Zuo nodded.

Breathing deeply, Xiao Qiao began the speech she had been practicing ever since Aisha came to see her, "These past few days had been very hard on me. You must know how hard it is for me to avoid you like that but I honestly think it's the best for both of us."

"Why? Because we are so incompatible?" Mei Zuo asked, not being able to stop himself. He agreed to let her say her piece first but suddenly his heart was screaming for him to say his emotions. Suddenly, he couldn't hold out anymore.

"Xiao Qiao, if that's it. I'm willing to change my lifestyle for you." The surprised look in her eyes gave Mei Zuo much adrenaline. He saw how she finally took notice of his much more _tame _appearance; for a second she seemed a bit pleased but the look quickly disappeared.

"I'm touched but I don't want you to change yourself just because of me," Xiao Qiao finally said after a while. Lowering her eyes, she continued, "I had liked you for who you are." Then her voice dropped lower, almost barely above a whisper, "Actually if anything, I want to be the one to change myself. Maybe in that way, you could like me more."

"Xiao Qiao-"

Looking up at his eyes, Xiao Qiao bravely continued. "Remember when I asked to go work out with you? It was because I though you might find me cuter that way. You told me about Aisha then; compared to the way you are with me, I think you enjoyed each others' time more. Then all of a sudden she showed up, and though I denied it before, it's true that I can't help feeling jealous." Lowering her eyes once more, she added, "Actually more than jealous, I was insecure. . . "

Her last words were whispered softly but they reached Mei Zuo's ears just fine.

Insecure? Why should she be insecure of Aisha? Sure, he had admitted that he like Aisha but he loved her, didn't she know that?"

Suddenly, it hit Mei Zuo like thunder. He never did tell Xiao Qiao that. Sure, he knew he loved her with his whole heart but he hadn't exactly given her that reassurance yet.

Like a cataclysmic flood, Mei Zuo remembered that time more than a month ago when he brought Xiao Qiao home. He had been thinking of how to tell her his feelings but when she had absentmindedly mused about Tian Li, he growled in jealousy. Then when they finally reached her home, he suddenly grabbed her. With their faces mere centimeters from each other, he saw her eyes going wide with hope and at that moment, he honestly had meant to tell her he loved her but in the last second he chickened out. Only now did he realize the way disappointed tears quickly formed at her eyes. Also, only now did he realized that was when Xiao Qiao started to act strangely.

"Oh god, Xiao Qiao I'm sorry," he whispered, feeling more pain he ever felt before. Yes, it had hurt him deeply when Xiao Qiao ended their relationship but the knowledge how much he was actually hurting her was more even more painful. How could he be so insensitive? How could he do this to the woman he loved? Didn't he say already before, he had already made her wait for ten years; why had he let himself hurt her more?

In three steps, he was down next to her on the sofa. He took her in his arms just as she started to cry. He stroked her hair, her shoulders and her back, soothing her. After a while when her tears quieted, he pulled away so he can look at her eyes.

"Xiao Qiao, I love you," he began, voice thick with emotion. "I'm sorry for not telling you sooner but please believe that you are the first girl I loved. I love you more than I ever thought, more than I ever wanted to love anyone."

As Mei Zuo's hands brushed away her fresh tears, Xiao Qiao couldn't help saying, "I'm so happy right now. Thank you, Mei Zuo. You don't know how long I waited to hear you say that." Then smiling, she corrected herself, "Wait you do know how much I waited."

Mei Zuo smiled too at the irony of that truth.

Feeling happier by the second, Xiao Qiao leaned her head on his shoulder; her arms went tight around his waist. "I love you Ling Mei Zuo. I came back here in Taiwan determined to win your love. You knew already how I felt about you but you never told me your feelings and I thought it was selfish of me to force myself on you if you don't have that strong feeling for me too."

Smiling into her fragrant hair, Mei Zuo was thankful he finally was able to let his feelings out. Before it felt good to know she loved him. . . to have her heart beating against his. Now he can let his heart beat openly and without reserve beat together with hers in that beautiful rhyme of love.

"I love you, Ying Xiao Qiao," he whispered, his lips brushing her ear. "I was a coward for not telling you earlier but from now on I promise to never again hold back in saying the feelings in my heart."

Pulling away, Xiao Qiao smiled playfully at Mei Zuo. "Don't say that if you can't keep it because I'll really hold you on that promise."

Mei Zuo smiled back. In the back of his mind, he wondered if anyone could look lovelier than Xiao Qiao at that moment. Surely even angels couldn't be as beautiful.

He leaned close to his love. "I promise." His words kissed her lips, in a way sealing his vow of love. Pulling back, the last ten days of yearning and missing for her came back to Mei Zuo in full force. He dipped his lips to hers again, tilting her head so he could kiss her deeper.

Finally after long seconds of pleasure, Xiao Qiao pulled away.

Her face was flushed beautifully but there was mirth in her eyes. "Hey you, stop this distraction of yours. We're not completely done yet. We still haven't figured out what we could enjoy together," she said voice full of merriness.

"We'll think of something," Mei Zuo promised. "Later." Then leaning over again, Mei Zuo kissed Xiao Qiao again. At first she tried to resist but she quickly gave up her losing fight and responded with equal passion. In that single kiss, the past ten days, all the pain and tears, vanished as the two lost themselves in each others' kiss.

Then after what seemed like an eternity, the two broke apart, both breathing heavily.

Xiao Qiao's eyes were shining with overwhelming happiness. She became even more glad to see the emotions in Mei Zuo's eyes.

His eyes were twinkling with happiness as well. And most importantly, his eyes were finally openly glowing with love. . .

"I think I just found something we could really enjoy together," he whispered half-mischievously and half-seriously.

Xiao Qiao could only smile in response. Then disregarding the rule that guys should initiate it, she leaned over and answered her beloved's proposition with another kiss. . .

-----------

**Next chapter: **Things just keeps on getting even more complicated; with less than a month before their wedding, Xiao You and Tian Li are haunted by their own first loves. Between a bittersweet past and a promising future, why should there be even a reason to be confuse? Find out next chap in **Between Memories and Heartbreaks.**

Well, I have been quite fast in updating this time around wasn't I? Hehe, I'm excited to write chap 11-13, I know I would really love to read the reactions you guys would have. . . anyways, how was this chap guys? Hope I made MZ/XQ fans happy with how things went with them; anyways, so for the next mission, the complicated love polygon of lei-jing-tl-xy-xm. . . Hehe, please review(the longer the better!) this chap I'm a little frustrated. sigh Can someone tell me how to get over a situation when you find out the a guy you've been seriously crushing on turns out to be a non-so-distant cousin? double sigh I still can't believe that guy is my relative. . . oh well, I'm rambling, do excuse me.

PS. Since I update with big time gap from each chapter, you guys might be wondering what scene MZ was referring to. It was in chapter 2 just for the record. Read it you liked or have forgotten. Hehehe

PS2. Sorry for MZ's saying. For some reason, I can't remember exactly his 'saying.' I know it goes something like what I wrote. I had meant to research on it but I didn't have the time so would someone be so kind and just refresh my memories, please?


	11. Between Memories and Heartbreaks

AN: Hi guys! I'm back sooner than you must have expected, hehe. . . this chap starts the climax of the story and I was so excited. Hehe.

**Disclaimer: **If Angie Cai ever decides to sell MG or Yoko Komio ever plans to give HYD away, do let me know, dear readers. For the meantime, I have to admit the MG and HYD isn't mine.

**Shopps:** ohhh, i didnt know that. hehe. I'm glad you gals like my story. anyways, thanks for reading! i'm sorry that there isnt much dms and sc here, iguess their ultimate roles in this fic are to be matchmakers and be the example of that beautiful true love that conquers all. glad, u like my lil twiston mz&xq. ohh dont worry i dont mind long reviews, i love them! anyways,  
after you read this chap, please tell me what you think!

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Chapter 11: **Between Memories and Heartbreaks**

_"Xi Men, I was originally thinking. . . even if I'm only going to be a girl whose name you will not remember, I still hope that I can leave a little something in your life."_

_"Why?" _

_"Because I don't have much time. . . The reason why I'm gathering up my courage to do something this bold is because. . . My dad, after what happened last time because of Shan Cai, he received a big shock on that thing with his job. Even though everything has passed already, but he is still extremely disheartened. So he has decided that our whole family to immigrate to Canada. Even the plane tickets have been reserved already. So tonight is my last night in Taiwan."_

"_You're leaving." _

_"So. . . just treat this as one of my wishes. Because I really like you very much."_

_With a shock and disbelieving smile. Xi Men stood up to stand in front of Xiao You. He looked long and deeply into her eyes as he brushed away the tears that were falling from them._

_Suddenly, without warning he leaned down and touched his lips to hers. . ._

Sweating and heart beating a hundred and twenty per minute, Xiao You sat up from her bed, the image of that untold kiss quickly dissolving back to the recesses of her brain.

But it didn't really help much, after more than two years, she vividly still remember that night.

She had gone to meet Xi Men, liking him more than Shan Cai would have approved. She came, wishing she could leave a memory to him. But in the end it was he who gave her a memory that until now she couldn't completely forget. . .

Yes. Unknown to anyone else, even through his refusal, Xi Men also gave her something of himself that night.

His kiss. A chaste kiss, that had even barely lasted five seconds, and yet it was enough to push her over the line that separated like and love.

Through that innocent little kiss, Xiao You started to understand Xi Men more. Behind all his playboy games, he was actually a man who needed to love and be love in return.

But she was leaving; it was no use, he pulled back. Without words, they stared at each other, knowing it was the end, even before anything could begin. He lay back on the bed, not inviting but not pushing her away either. In his simple act, he was offering only what he can for this temporary arrangement. Comfort.

Thinking she may never really see him again, Xiao You took the comfort he presented. Laying on her side, she placed her head upon his chest, listening to his heart. As he reached out to stroke her hair, a tear fell from eyes once more. . .

And though it didn't work, when she left Taiwan, her memories of her first real love were actually good. That last night, the way Xi Men was with her gave her some sort of hope that maybe one day things can still work out for them. . .

Yes while in Canada, Xi Men's memories kept her going. . .

Their first meeting in Jing's birthay. . . oh how she made her blush with his sweet words. . . though Shan Cai said he was a player, she couldn't help thinking, hoping maybe he did saw something special in her. . .

That day he went out of his way to help her out after Zhong Zi's dreadful betrayal. . . her heart would always go faster everytime she would think about Xi Men saying he was the girl he loved. . . foolishly, she thought that in some way or another,. . . some truth lies behind his words. . .

And yes, that special night. . . that kiss. . .

During those long months away from home, deep inside she had managed to make herself believe that one day she can change Xi Men's mind. But when she did finally came back to visit, she realized she had been fooling herself. Her then sweet memories turned bitter. . .

**"**Is she an idiot? Asking me to rush over this early just to see this. I am Xi Men. . . Idiot."

Walking up to stand next to him, Xiao You felt herself crying herself as she watched Xi Men. . .

Could there be anything more painful than to see the one you love cry over his lost love? When Xiao You came back to visit him, this wasn't exactly what she expected. . .

Before, he didn't want to open up to her. She came back, wanting to see him to try again. . . She never imagined there could be someone else in his mind. . .

Before, she found out his playboy ways were actually a mask to keep people away. She came back, wishing she could finally make him drop his disguise. . . She never expected his mask too was actually because of a scarred heart from the past. . .

Ultimately, after she first learned about Xiao Gen, she thought if she could help Xi Men see Xiao Gen's message then maybe it would help him to finally move on. . .

But at that moment, with him crying like that, Xiao You knew it would probably take another lifetime to make Xi Men forget. . .

Looking down at her, Xiao You saw how Xi Men forced a smile on his lips. Putting an arm around her, he pulled her to him. He continued cry over Xiao Gen, not knowing how much the girl in his arms cried silently too. . .

That very moment, Xiao You knew she had to give up on Xi Men Zhong er Lang. . .

Closing her eyes, Xiao You knew that was greatest reason why she had given up. Thinking she would never be able to break the wall in Xi Men's heart named Xiao Gen, Xiao You gave up. Because of Xiao Gen, she knew Xi Men would never let her come too close. . .

For a year, though she kept thinking about Xi Men, she had tried her best to accept that it had been an unrequited love from the very start.

But it seemed Fate had different plans though, ironically after finding a man who was ready to love her forever, Xi Men just had to start opening up.

Yes, she wasn't blind not to notice the spark in Xi Men's eyes now. She felt how his comforting arms told something deeper. She saw how his eyes followed her every step, silently, telling her that he was ready to give what he couldn't before. . .

But what does it matter? Xiao You ignored all these signals from Xi Men because she has already decided to choose Tian Li. Tian Li who loved her, needed her, made her feel so very special.

But somehow when hours ago, Xi Men whispered Xiao Gen's name, Xiao You was really taken by surprise that he really didn't seemed to be as affected as he was before. . . Xiao You kept expecting him to falter, to change his mind but his gaze on her never wavered. . . And even though it was Xiao Gen's name he whispered, Xi Men's eyes were only on hers. . .

Xiao You could almost believe that Xi Men was actually over Xiao Gen. . . and it was really ironic because now that he was ready to open his heart, it was still no use. . .

She was marrying Tian Li in a month. . . and Xiao Gen was returning. . .

She had to be steady. Especially now, Xiao Gen was returning into Xi Men's life, she needed to be steady. . .

But not being able to stop herself, a tear slowly fell from her eye as Xiao You remembered something Xi Men said so long ago. . .

_"I like you too Xiao You. . . I could be a good lover for one week but what you need is a good man."_

She wiped the tear away._ Stupid playboy Xi Men. You are a good man. But you were scared. . . and now. . . it's too late. ._ .

--------------------------------

"So have you and Shan Cai decided yet on the date, Dao Ming Si Shao Ye?"

Dao Ming Si tried his best not to blush, partly because of Shan Cai's mother question and partly because of the name she called him. Why can't Mr and Mrs. Dong just drop the 'shao ye' part?

Seated next to him, Shan Cai saw his discomfort. Taking his hand from under the small table, she smiled at him reassuringly.

Grateful, Dao Ming Si returned her smile.

"Well? Does that mean you haven't decided on a date yet?" Mrs. Dong asked once more, as she pushed a green vegetable into her mouth.

Turning politely to his soon-mother-in-law, Dao Ming Si shook his head. "I'm sorry, auntie." He took a mouthful of rice and chewed thoughtfully before answering, "Actually Shan Cai and I decided to get married exactly three months from now. That's on April 28."

"Twenty-eight? Yes yes. Eight is a good number." Mr. Dong approved, his mouth full.

Shan Cai nodded. And taking her hand from Dao Ming Si's, she returned on eating her dinner.

"Yes, eight is good number, Pa. But Dao Ming Si and I actually had other reasons."

The moment she said it, Shan Cai turned to blush; Dao Ming Si did so too.

Mrs. Dong and Mr. Dong turned from one blushing soul to the other.

"Could it be some special day, perhaps?" Mr. Dong mused out loud.

Mrs. Dong was quick to put on a malicious smile. "An anniversary of a kiss or something more, no?"

"NO!" Shan Cai and Dao Ming Si, with faces red as the sun, were quick to deny. They glanced at each other and laughed.

"Auntie, actually that date marks the third year Shan Cai and I first meet."

Mrs. Dong was obviously disappointed. "Oh? Only that?"

Shan Cai resisted the urge to roll her eyes at her mother's silly antics. Then smiling, she explained happily.

"Yes, Ma. This April 28 marks the third year when I first called this him a pighead." Rolling her eyes in mock exaggeration, she added, "Can't believe that it's almost three years ago when this guy appeared in my life."

"I appeared in your life?" Dao Ming Si glared at Shan Cai, "If I remember correctly, I was just going with my life but you and your friend suddenly had to throw that box of ashes at me!" He smirked, "Besides I came to Ying De first. It was your first year then, who could tell whether you purposely entered Ying De to meet me?"

Of course, deep inside, Dao Ming Si was only teasing. There was no malice in his words. But of course, Shan Cai was ticked.

"Why you annoying-" Shan Cai started.

But Mr. Dong's voice quickly overrode Shan Cai's. "Nah, don't be silly, shao ye. Shan Cai was actually against it all along. We were the one to insist she study in Ying De so she could meet some rich bachelor!"

A second after he said that, all was silent. Then Mama got out of her shock and began to laugh uneasily.

"Papa, you really like to make jokes. Hahaha."

Papa got out from his shock as well and began to laugh too.

"Yes, I was joking." He began to wave around his hand and chopsticks. "I like making jokes." Mama nodded her head, agreeing a bit too enthusiastically. Papa went on, "Did you know when I was young I wanted to become a comedian?"

"Really, Papa? You would have been good. Hahaha."

Meanwhile, Dao Ming Si sat in silence, shock and thoughtful. Before, his mother, and some other annoying Ying De students, had been very straightforward in saying Shan Cai's parents probably wanted his money more than anything else. He never did believed them; he had always thought of Mr and Mrs. Dong were just good parents. Their complete thrill of him dating Shan Cai was mainly because they supported their daughter's happiness.

Of course, it was understandable that before they wished to get wealthy but they had changed now, right? After all, they wouldn't bless his relationship with Shan Cai now if not, right?

Suddenly upset, Dao Ming Si put his chopsticks down.

Though being with Shan Cai makes up for everything, sometimes Dao Ming Si couldn't help feel gloomy once in a while too.

After all when he pictured getting married with Shan Cai before, he saw a big church filled with people. His and Shan Cai's family, F3's families, businessmen, politicians. . . Of course, all of Taiwan's media would be there to capture the day. . .

And it would have been forever remembered in Taiwan's history. . .

But now, that's not going to happen. . . though he was relaxed and contented with his simple life now, Dao Ming Si couldn't help wishing he still could have the power to give all those things to Shan Cai's parents. . . To her. . .

As her parents continue their crazy talk, Shan Cai watched Dao Ming Si perceptively. She knew what he was thinking and it hurt her to have him like this.

Yes, with one look of her fiancée's eyes, she knew he was thinking what it would be like to get married as a Dao Ming?

And she understood how he felt, after all, she had found herself thinking about it before too.

After all, it's not like she ever thought that Dao Ming Si would lose his memories and would chose the ordinary life after. Before, when she would let herself fantasize about the day she married Dao Ming Si, in her mind she had prepared a wedding worthy for the heir of Dao Mings. Yes, even if her pride had always wanted to make him jump over to her world, she had always known one day she would be the one to enter his.

And now everything was different. . . no one needed to jump any walls. . .

But who cares, really? She loved this pighead and she wouldn't let him think he was inadequate because he couldn't give her a wedding she had imagine of before. . .

"It doesn't matter," Shan Cai started purposefully. She took Dao Ming Si's hand that was resting on the table. He turned to her in shock and so did her parents.

"We're getting married and that's what important to me."

Her parents smiled quickly. Whether from relief for her speech that broke the tension or because they were touched wasn't really important to Shan Cai right now. She was only aware of Dao Ming Si.

Slowly, slowly a smile came to his lips. Oh such an adorable dimple he had.

They stared long and meaningfully at each other. Then suddenly Dao Ming Si laughed.

"You loved me that much huh?"

With that annoying remark, Shan Cai lost all sentimentality. She death-glared at him as her parents automatically covered their ears.

"Stupid pighead! I was trying to cheer you up!"

And to think, these two thought everything has changed. Everything seemed as normal as it could be. . .

---------------------------------

"I refused to answer that question."

At the image of a blushing Jing, Lei could only smile amusedly.

Who would ever thought something such as answering a slam book could be so much fun?

. . . and to think he didn't even know what a slam book was supposed to be until this afternoon when he went to a bookstore to get something for himself and Jing. He had quickly noticed the notebook with a cover of an older girl holding a boy's hand. Opening it up, he quickly decided it would be fun to answer the little personal questions together with Jing.

For ever since his date with Jing a few night ago, he had been visiting her with more purpose than ever to be the one to help heal her pain. And truly, they had been enjoying themselves immensely.

Two nights ago it had been checkers. Last night it had been shoji. And tonight, slam book.

Define love. After reading the first question from the 'Between You and Me' section, Lei himself was suddenly unsure whether he wanted to hear her answer. But the moment she blushed like a teenager pushed away all of his solemn mood. They were here to enjoy. And it was a simple question and answer, nothing to get so serious about, really.

"C'mon Jing," he prodded, pen poised to write down her answer. "It's just a question."

"No," she said, staring straight ahead in front of her. "What kind of question is that anyway?"

Lei shrugged. "Don't ask me, you're the girl. You're the one who suppose to know about this slam book thing."

Jing sighed as she turned to him. "I told you, I don't even know what this slam book was until tonight either."

For a second, Lei looked thoughtfully at her. Of course, he shouldn't be surprised at all. Jing didn't exactly grow up as a normal teenager. . .

"Why don't you answer for me?"

"What? Me?"

It'll be too strange. He? Try to define love? After going through two major heartbreaks, he didn't know whether he was exactly fit to answer such a question. He wouldn't want to destroy the cuteness of this slam book with his depressing experiences on love.

Then sighing, Lei reminded himself of his resolve of not being too serious. Taking a deep breath, he tried to push all lonesome thoughts aside.

"Fine, I'll answer for you."

Without much thought really, he wrote his answer in elegant and beautiful handwriting.

Looking over, Jing read the words he just wrote.

"Love is understanding."

And as Lei watched, Jing's lips slightly curved down. For a fraction of a minute she looked terribly sad with eyes full of longing. Next second she forced on a smile. "That's a nice meaning for it," she whispered, her voice a bit strange. "I couldn't have said it better myself."

Then as Jing turned away, Lei couldn't help wondering whether he did something wrong? But before he could ponder more on this thought, Jing turned back to him again. She was smiling again as if nothing happened.

"Next question please," she prompted.

For a second, Lei tried to read behind those deep brown eyes of hers. On the next second, he shrugged it off and continued to ask her the next question.

"Have you ever been in love?" the question was already out before Lei could stop himself.

Lei was sure Jing wasn't going to answer again but she surprised him when very softly, she whispered.

"Yes."

The vulnerability in her eyes shot an arrow right through Lei's heart. Oh how he really believed her at that moment. With her eyes glittering with so much emotion like that, Lei knew she must have loved so greatly before. . .

"How many times?" he asked though the question wasn't part from the book.

Eyes so luminous amidst the starless night, Jing turned to look straight ahead of her. Even before he answered, Lei knew what it would be. . .

"Once. Just once in my life, I've loved a man."

Suddenly feeling sick to his gut, Lei closed the book with a snap. How many times have he found out since she came back that the truth hurts?

Foolish him. . . he just had to go and ask her such obvious questions. . . What was he hoping? That she pretend, humor him and answer so otherwise?

So now the pain in his heart. . . no one else was to be blame but himself. . .

----------------------------

Normal couples do it all the time. But not them; it was their first time and oh such a painful first time it had to be.

He likes action movies. She likes romance ones. He can't stand heavy dramas. She can't stand slapstick comedies.

Oh what a mess they have! After they overcame such a big bump on their relationship, would it fall back again just because a dispute over what to watch on DVD? To save your relationship, do you just give in to the love of your life even it meant watching some man-forsaken movie for the next two hours?

Decisions. Decisions. Mei Zuo and Xiao Qiao stared at each other, both calculating who should give in first.

Just then, the door of the recreational room burst opened and came the ever-cute Ling twins, giggling and humming.

Neither pair noticed the other, not until Mei Li started to push some of the DVD's buttons. She did a double take to see her brother and Xiao Qiao seated on one of the black leather couches.

"Ge ge?" Mei Lun, from her position in the carpet, turned to look too. "What are you guys doing? You're not fighting again, are you?"

Shaken out of their own worlds, both Xiao Qiao and Mei Zuo turned to the twins. "No, nothing like that," Mei Zuo quickly reassured.

"We're just trying to decide what to watch," Xiao Qiao added.

"Oh." The twins said. After a while, Mei Lun frowned, "Ei, but Mei Li and I wanted to watch DVD too!"

Mei Zuo and Xiao Qiao turned to each other then quickly turned back to the twins. "What are you guys watching?" Xiao Qiao asked carefully.

"Ranma 1/2!" they answered in unison. They were very excited.

"Ranma 1/2?" the blank look in Xiao Qiao was quite funny. It was very cute and adorable, Mei Zuo decided.

He pulled Xiao Qiao closer, letting her head rest upon his shoulder. "It's an anime," he explained.

"Oh." Biting on her lower lip, she asked the twins, "What is it about?"

They smiled brightly. "It's about this cute boy," Mei Lun gushed out. ". . . who, because of a curse, turns to a girl when splashed with cold water."

"But he turns back to a boy again when they doused with hot water," Mei Li quickly added. Proudly, she showed the DVD casing of the said anime. "It has everything. Romance. Martial-arts. Comedy. Everything."

With those words, Xiao Qiao stared at the twins thoughtfully. Though this Ranma thing was an anime, it sounded okay. Why not let the twins watch what they want? Surely, that would solve her and Mei Zuo's predicament. She turned to her boyfriend, silently asking him what he thought.

For Mei Zuo's part, the anime was okay too. He does watch a little anime and this one didn't sound too much of shoujo, so maybe he could bear two hours of it. He smiled at Xiao Qiao then turned to the twins, nodding.

They quickly squealed in delight. In a matter of seconds, they had the show rolling.

Just a few minutes into the show, Xiao Qiao surprised herself by actually enjoying it a lot. She appreciated art herself, and the anime's was quite nice, not too exaggerated, actually it was simple but definitely cute. And the story? Hilarious and sweet.

Watching intently, Xiao Qiao understood why the twins like the lead character so much. A goofy boy in a pigtail with an ego the size of Tokyo was kinda hard to resist. Seeing Mei Li's eyes twinkling, Xiao Qiao realized she must see Dao Ming Si in Ranma. Just as Mei Lun must see Hua Zhe Lei in Ranma's strange sweetness.

And as Ranma woke up from his 'dream' Xiao Qiao couldn't help but smile. The way Ranma thought about his fiancée Akane and the way he stubbornly refused to admit his feelings for her reminded Xiao Qiao of Mei Zuo. Shaking her head, Xiao Qiao reminded herself that Mei Zuo wasn't frustrating like before anymore. It's been three days since they got back together and so far, he was keeping his promise well. . .

For Mei Zuo's part, he too was enjoying the show a lot.

And after twenty-minutes or so, the first episode ended and as the ending song started, Mei Zuo couldn't help smiling.

Been engaged by meddling parents 

_At least that's how it was at first_

_And before we knew it, love has grown_

_How could we have ever known? . . . _

The song vaguely reminded him of Xiao Qiao and how he started to fall for her. He had been so annoyed for his mother's matchmaking ways that his ego wouldn't let him admit he was actually falling for the girl. He kept his feelings to himself and its prize had almost been his relationship with the woman he loved. But now Mei Zuo was glad he had finally gained his courage. He wished Ranma would gain some soon too.

. . . _Can't say it aloud yet, let's just keep quiet for now_

_Without words, your hand in mine's enough_

Oh well, it's just a song and it's just an anime. If Ranma and Akane are contented with what they have right now, that's them; Mei Zuo, on the other hand, was ready to keep his vow to Xiao Qiao.

Looking down at her, nestled on his arms, eyes focued on the huge screen TV, Mei Zuo, felt absolutely bewitched. He couldn't pull his eyes from her every movement.

"You're so beautiful." That was what his heart wanted to say and say he did.

Xiao Qiao's cheeks reddened charmingly.

"Even more so when you blush," Mei Zuo added, a hand caressing her face.

"What's with you?" Xiao Qiao asked, turning a deeper shade of red.

"I'm expressing my feelings for you," he answered simply.

For a second, Xiao Qiao let herself smile but she put her lips in a straight line. "Well, not now. The twins are here, you know."

"So? I want the whole world to know." As Xiao Qiao tried to answer back smartly, Mei Zuo smiled softly down at her. He called his sisters, who were busy debating who was prettier. Shampoo or Ukyo?

The twins turned to look back at them, expectantly. Mei Zuo smiled.

"I think Xiao Qiao is the prettiest of them all," he said, all mushy and honey-sweet. As the twins blinked in confusion, Mei Zuo felt a jab on the stomach. He turned to Xiao Qiao in bewilderment. "What? I was just expressing my feelings!" he protested.

"Then stop it," she hissed.

Stop it? Why? Geez. Girls! Such weird moods they have. First, they had this problem because he was too inexpressive, now he was all out poetic and romantic, she's complaining too?

Then as they continue staring at each other, a small twitch came on the side of Xiao Qiao's lips. Oh! The irony of it! Why was she so against Mei Zuo saying she was pretty anyway? She should be happy. And she was happy. Seeing her small smile, Mei Zuo began to smile too.

"I love you," they said simultaneously. They stared at each other for a while before bursting out in laughter.

On the carpet, identical twins, Ling Mei Li and Mei Lun still continued to blink confusedly at the crazy couple.

----------------------------

After parking his car, Xi Men slowly made his way towards their house. It was barely four in the afternoon and he was already home. For a workaholic, he sure doesn't work as much as he used to.

Of course, how could he do any work when all he could think of is Xiao You? Xiao You and his brother. Xiao You and his brother getting married in exactly twenty days.

Pushing away his hair from his forehead, Xi Men started to gently massage his temples. Shan Cai had given a big headache. Did she really have to call him ten times in a matter of four hours just to remind him that his time was running out? Don't she think she realized that well on his own?

It's not like he wasn't doing anything. . .

_Confess to her. Just tell her how you feel._

That had been Dao Ming Si's third and greatest love advice. The way he said it, he made it sound so simple but truthfully how can confessing your love to your brother's fiancée be simple?

And so even Dao Ming Si had told him this advice days ago, Xi Men still had not managed to have the chance to follow it.

Sighing, Xi Men entered the mansion's front door.

"You're early today, Xi Men Shao Ye," their butler greeted. Was that sarcasm in his voice?

Shrugging Xi Men knew he was being paranoid. "I wasn't feeling well," he half-explained. "Where's Xia-. . . " Catching himself in time, he asked instead, "Where's my brother?"

"Tian Li Shao Ye is at the dining room. Taste test for the reception."

"Oh." The finality of all the wedding preparations seemed to suddenly suffocate Xi Men. Forcing a laid-back smile, he added, "Well then I'll just be at the living room first. Bring me a bottle of wine, please."

Bowing, the butler went to get his drink. Xi Men, on the other hand, walked towards the living room.

At the doorway though he suddenly stopped.

Xiao You.

"Yes yes. I'm okay. Take care then," she was saying into the phone. "Yes, see you in two weeks. Bye."

Placing the hand back to its cradle, Xiao You stood there, with her back to Xi Men, for a second longer before turning around. She froze quickly as she saw Xi Men.

"Xi Men."

He smiled slightly at her. The awkwardness between was as terrible as ever. "Xiao You." Walking into the room but stopping a couple of feet away from her, he asked, "Who was that on the phone?"

"My mother." She crossed her arms as if protecting herself from him. "She called to tell me that they'd be arriving in the seventeenth."

A long silence followed.

"Everything's set, I guess," Xi Men heard himself saying before he knew it. "You're really getting married."

Xiao You nodded. "Yeah."

Another long silence.

_Confess to her. Just tell her how you feel._

Inwardly, Xi Men wished Dao Ming Si could have just rubbed off to him some of his backbone. It were truly two different things to want to say words of love and actually be able to say it. Especially when you have to look at the person's wary and guarded eyes.

"Can't anything stop it?" Xi Men asked carefully but his eyes were silently begging her to say so otherwise.

"Xi Men," Xiao You started, voice actually softening. "I know we haven't really discussed about us. . . " Biting her lip, she quickly added, "I mean, the things that turned out between us but for now, let's just let things as they are."

"What do you mean?"

Xiao You closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Opening her eyes, she bravely caught Xi Men's gaze.

"I'm marrying your brother. I'm marrying him in less than three weeks time, if you really think of me as a friend, please. . . "

". . . don't make trouble for you two?"

Xiao You bit her lip.

Xi Men shook his head disbelievingly. "So you do see it?" He made a step towards her. "You can see that I'm not happy that you're marrying my brother? You can see I don't want you to get married at all." He took a few steps towards her. When he was a meter away, he stopped to look into her eyes.

"Do you know why?"

Xiao You simply stared back into his eyes. Xi Men took his time, gathering his guts.

"Xi Men Shao Ye," a voice suddenly boomed. Xi Men saw how his chance dissolved instantly as Xiao You pulled her eyes away.

Butler Ren appeared in the doorway. "Here is you wine." Seeing Xi Men and Xiao You, the man quickly bowed apologetically.

"I'll bring it again later," he said hastily, pivoting around.

"No," Xiao You was quick to call back. The butler stopped. "Let your shao ye have his wine now." Then she turned to Xi Men.

"I better head back to the kitchen. Tian Li and I need to finalize things for the wedding."

As Xiao You stepped away, Xi Men could only hate himself. No, he can't blame Butler Ren and his stupid timing; it was his own cowardly self that was at fault.

Then suddenly, Xiao You surprised Xi Men when she stopped and turned to him.

"Oh and yeah, nothing can stop the wedding."

With that Xiao You turned and walked out of the room, leaving Xi Men once more pained and miserable.

Sighing, Xi Men walked over and took the wine bottle from their butler. Because of his stupidity, his heart had long been broken heart into thousands of pieces. . . no reason, why he can't add another hole in his stomach too. . .

----------------------------

Jing watched silently as Lei played his violin.

Two nights ago the tentative relationship she shared with Lei almost fell back again after the little question and answer thing about love. And as expected Lei didn't go to see her last night, so what really surprised Jing was when an hour ago Lei showed up, violin in hand.

They had sat in awkward silence until Lei begun to play his violin. As his fingers created that soothing sound, the tension between them seemed to fade away too.

Smiling as Lei finished up his piece, Jing praised him.

"Your music is really beautiful."

Lei only nodded. He walked up to sit next to her. Reverently touching the strings of his violin, Lei finally whispered a soft thanks.

Watching him, Jing felt a soft tugging in her heart.

This was Hua Zhe Lei. The same boy she had cared after for so long. The same boy who used to look at her with so much admiration and respect written in his eyes.

What had happened to their relationship? When had things gone wrong? Biting her lip, Jing knew exactly when. . .

"I just remembered I never did say sorry for that time."

Suddenly confused, Jing turned to Lei who still had his head down. "What are you talking about?"

Slowly lifting his eyes to hers, he answered simply. "Paris."

Lei made a small smile. "I'm sorry if without warning, I just left you then. We were having so much fun." He looked meaningfully into Jing's eyes. "I know I was."

The way he said it was not exactly a statement but more of a question. He was actually asking her whether she enjoyed their time together in Paris too.

Looking back into those hopeful innocent eyes of his Jing felt a great longing in her heart. If only he knew. If only he knew that it was actually the happiest time of her life.

Letting her heart speak truthfully for once, Jing whispered softly. "I did, Lei. That had been a very happy time for me as well."

Hearing her answer, Lei smiled. The next moment, his face was all sadness again. "I'm sorry for just suddenly ending that. I shouldn't have just left." He sighed. "Especially without even making it clear first. . . I never even asked you first."

Then looking straight and long into Jing's eyes, he asked her, "It's really late now but those news, were they really true? Were you actually really engaged with that guy?"

Jing smiled slightly. She had no idea what had gotten into Lei but since he really wanted to know, why not tell him the truth already?

"Actually, I was never engaged."

With those words, Lei stilled completely.

Shrugging her shoulders, she continued to explain. "It was true that I had been seeing Francois and he asked me to marry him but even though he was a good man, I told I can't marry him. He kept asking me to reconsider even though he knew I was returning to Taipei. But I guess when I returned to Paris, he assumed that it meant I had reconsidered his offer."

Lei still had a look of disbelief. "Then why didn't you clear things up with him at once?"

"I did." Shrugging, Jing added wryly. "But it would be hard for his status so agreed to let the media have their fancy for a while before we announced that the engagement is off."

With those words, Lei sighed. It was a very frustrated one.

"So foolish," Jing seemed to have heard Lei whisper under his breath. Then turning to Jing again, he had a very regretful face.

"Sorry. If I made it clear before then things wouldn't have turned out like this. . . Sorry."

Looking at Lei, Jing knew she can't let him bear all the burden of regrets. She harbored lots of her own as well.

"Don't be, Lei. It was my fault too." She lowered her eyes in shame. "Barcelona. I should have gone to meet you as you wished in your letter."

Probably surprised to hear such a confession from her, Jing could feel Lei's eyes thoughtfully on her bent head.

"So. . . why didn't you?. . . I mean, why didn't you go to see me?"

That question. Jing didn't know how to answer that question without letting the truth she had been keeping from him known.

Looking up back at him, Jing stared at Lei, unsure what to say.

Maybe seeing the suffering in her, Lei was quick to reassure.

"It's okay, Jing. If you can't tell me now, it's okay. . . but I hope you can open up to me too."

Suddenly Lei surprised Jing when he took her hand into his.

"To understand each other. . . "

That was the closest Lei came in defining the relationship they had now. His intentions were quite clear. This time he really wanted to make it work between them.

And though still scared, Jing knew she wanted this chance too. In her hearts of hearts, she knew this is what she wanted. She just hoped that when the time comes, she wouldn't get hurt again. . . She just hoped that when Lei finds out the truth, he wouldn't pull away. . .

Staring back at Lei, Jing knew he was waiting for a reply from her. He was that earnest. . .

Pushing all doubts and frights aside, Jing smiled.

----------------------------

Tian Li knew, really he did, that he shouldn't be here. And yet, the moment he woke up, the second he realized what date it was, he couldn't push away the urge to be here. To see her.

Jing. He promised Xiao You that he wont see her anymore; he did want to keep his promise but somehow, this day was forcing him to remember so much. . .

Yes. He remembered _that _day all too well. . .

They were standing on Jing's bedroom balcony. Jing was looking out the grounds while he watched her silently. Her face revealed all the sadness she felt, Tian Li felt such an overwhelming need to wash away all the unhappiness in her.

He stepped closer to her. Stared long at her profile for a while before asking, "Jing, what's wrong?"

She kept her silence for a few more moments before turning to him and forcing a smile. "It's nothing. I told Jin Wu last night that I can't continue seeing him anymore." She sighed. "It's just that I feel so guilty."

Tian Li forced a smile. Yes. That was his Jing, always so considerate of others' feelings. Even when she was hardly ready to date, she started when she was barely sixteen, basically because she didn't want to disappoint her long line of admirers. And now, at her age of almost seventeen, she had dated more boys than anyone could count. From politicians' sons to the future-businessmen of the country, she all went out with them just so she would not hurt them.

Bravely, Tian Li let his fingers lightly, reassuringly stroke Jing's hair. He knew he was taking advantage of her in a way, because they were best friends, Jing wouldn't pull away so after a few seconds, Tian Li, himself pulled his own hand away before his to touch turn to something more than platonic.

"Don't feel so bad, Jing. It's not your fault that you don't feel anything for him," Tian Li whispered. In his side, the hand that had dared to caress her began to tremble a little in yearning to touch her again.

"I don't know," Jing answered, voice soft. "He was so upset. He kept telling me he really likes me."

Tian Li turned away in silent anger. Jing knew that he knew how untrue that was. Sure, in a way Yi Jin Wu liked Jing; but his ego was probably more offended than his feelings. After all, college senior heartthrob dumped by a little high school student? It was absurd! What would his senator father say?

Tian Li turned to study Jing who was looking out the grounds again. Even without saying it, he knew that sometimes she think being born Teng Tang Jing was a curse. Yes. She had it all. Beauty beyond compare, as others say. Wealth and power that came with being heir of Teng Enterprise. She lived the perfect life. She was perfect.

As Jing tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, Tian Li thought about her so-called perfection. Was it worth it? she could almost hear her mind asked. Was it good to be the apple of every male's eye? Probably it would be flattering if they actually saw something in her; but no, in truth they never even made an effort to see beyond the name Teng Tang Jing and all beauty and perfection that comes with it. . .

Tian Li knew it must hurt Jing when people saw her as a goddess walking on earth. Why can't they see she was just a normal girl too? A normal girl who had normal wishes. Friendship. . . love. . .

Oh, if only she knew. Only knew that he had always been ready to give her the love she wanted. Yes, if only she knew that to him, she had always been more than Teng Tang Jing. To him, she was more than his best friend. To him, she was his life. . .

"Jing," he called softly.

Turning to him, she once more forced a smile. "Yeah?"

Looking at her eyes, Tian Li hesitated. He might just hurt her more if he told her that he wanted more than friendship from her.

But he can't take more of seeing her so sad like this. . . In his heart of hearts, he wanted to be the one to make her happy. . .

"Do you hate me?"

Her eyes widen in surprise at first. Then probably seeing the seriousness in his eyes, she laughed.

"You know I can never hate you," she said, smiling so sweetly.

Tian Li took a deep breath. "Then please keep that in mind," he whispered. With a trembling but sure hand, he grabbed her arm and pulled her as close as possible against him.

He barely had time to recognize the shock in her face as he closed his eyes and pressed his lips to hers. . .

Back to the present, Xi Men Tian Li closed his eyes as he remembered that kiss. It wasn't only his first time to kiss anyone, even when he had known then it'll be Jing's first kiss too, he had went on and stole that special first kiss from her.

That was how they got together. After the short innocent kiss, Tian Li had pulled away to look into Jing's eyes and whisper a long-delayed confession of love.

Her stunned expression at first was of course expected. But as she had smiled and even boldly gave him a light peck on the lips, Tian Li thought that maybe it could work out. . .

It never did. . . for three years, he had deluded himself. . . because he loved her too much, he did not dare admit that he was not able to make her as happy as he wanted. . .

Of course, love takes two. . .

Shaking himself from those memories, Tian Li opened his eyes. Today it was February 2, 2003 and it has been exactly ten years since that fateful day. . .

He glanced at Jing who, like that time before, stood next to him in her bedroom balcony. Does she remember at all?

The answer was obvious. Unlike him who looked like a broken man, Jing's expression didn't show any signs of a girl thinking about the memories of her long lost love. If anything, she looked happy and contented. Something, no someone was keeping her this way. . .

He can't remember if he ever made her that happy. . .

"Jing," Tian Li called. There was yearning in his voice.

Jing turned to him dreamily. "Hmm?"

He stared at her. Ten years ago this very day she was so sad. Ten years ago, she was sixteen, inexperienced and naïve. . .

But now, her face was glowing. . . Also, at twenty-six, she was definitely a woman who was so different from that sixteen year old.

And yet. She was still Jing. And she was still special to him. She was still the same girl he first loved.

Loved. Past tense. . .

"Do you hate me?" he asked her suddenly like he did that time so many years ago.

She was surprised at first the she laughed. "You know I can never hate you." Though her laugh and answer were the same, there was still no trace in her expression that she recalled that special date that had been haunting him the whole day already.

He stared down at her innocent black-brown eyes. She really doesn't remember. Why don't she remember? He had already accepted that he never meant to her as much as she did to him, but that kiss was her first. Surely, she would remember. . .

He wanted her to remember. . .

"Then please keep that in mind," he found himself saying. Yes, it was like that day repeating all over again. . .

As he grabbed her arm, Tian Li saw how Jing's eyes finally registered recognition. Her alarm should have stopped him but it didn't. . .

He closed his eyes, pulling her as close as possible, just like before. Then very much like that very first kiss exactly a decade ago, Tian Li boldly and firmly pressed his lips on Jing's. . .

---------------------------

**Next chapter: **Now that Tian Li's feelings for his old love are resurfacing, Xiao You's relationship with Xi Men takes a step away from being platonic as well. Between apprehensive hearts and overwhelming emotions, would a confession of love be heard? Find out next week in **Between Kisses and Fears**.

Cultural notes: shoujo anime – anime for girls, popular ones are Sailor Moon, Fushigi Yuugi and of course, MARS and Hana Yori Dango

AN: Okay, I know this chapter(esp the last scene) was quite shocking, so I expect lots and long feedbacks, okay? Whatever you have to say, good or bad, compliments or curses(I hoped not though! And oh please no tomatoes, I hate them!) are welcome so please do feel free to leave me your thoughts. Oh and don't worry, for the first time, the next chap would be a direct continuation of this one, I know you guys might want to know details. . . and I would try to update every week from now on because I want to have at least 2(or if I finish my jerry story in time, it'll be 3) completed stories under my name before my I turned 20 on February.

Also, I hoped you guys don't mind the 'extra' scene in here. In MG ep 18, after XY told XM she was leaving XM got up and walked towards her again. The scene was then cut back to DMS/SC and so we didn't know what other things could have happened in between coz on the next scene he was laying down already. I believe it was done that way purely for purpose of fan service, if it wasn't, then I don't know what would be.

I LOVE RANMA 1/2!!! It's quite obvious with the chap, wasn't it? Hope you guys didn't mind the lil song inserted too. Hehehe, Ranma is mah fave anime. . . wohohohoho. Suki da, ran-chan!!!

Anyways, guessing time again. There'll be a cute girl kissing her dear crush next chap, tell me who these two people are and I'll dedicate the chap to you. It's kinda easy so I think anyone who actually read up to this point would be able to guess right. Hehe! Good luck!


	12. Between Kisses and Fears

AN: Thank you for all the comments. To show my appreciation that there were no tomatoes thrown my way, I did this chap as fast as I could(which was still a bit later than I originally promised, hehe). . . well, just get ready for a major shock. . .

**Piglet:** about jing's only love. . . read this chap and you would know that you are. . . hehe. about tl, haha. yeah there goes his 'perfect image' . . . well, as always thank you very much for reading and reviewing.

**Lostbeauty:** hehe, nice guess. it's dedicated to you for trying. well thanks for dropping by

**Disclaimer: **MG belongs to an evil lady who refuses to give it to me. HYD belongs to a genius who must be swimming in her riches now.

This chapter is dedicated to **piglet** because she had been very good in reading between the lines. . . Also, the chap is dedicated too to both **Jean Grey, Lostbeauty **and **vase**.

-------------------------

Chapter 12: **Between Kisses and Fears**

The suddenness of his move caught her completely unprepared. The rays of the setting sun blinded her a second and it made Jing close her eyes; the moment she did, she realized she was not imagining things.

With eyes still closed, Jing permitted the man holding her in pulling her closer, one arm wrapped around her waist while the other gently cradled the back of her neck. She didn't protest as he tipped her head back, kissing her harder and more passionately as the seconds ticked by.

It's been so long. This familiar lips prodding her own. . . And as Tian Li's familiar scent invaded Jing, the last few years began to disappear.

She was sixteen again. Overwhelmed from a passionate confession of love from a man she had only ever saw as a best friend.

Yes, love. How many times have she heard those words from Xi Men Tian Li's mouth? She had longed so much to be love honestly and now it was here. . .

Almost shyly, hesitantly, Jing began to return his kiss. He was already about to move away but suddenly, he was kissing her again with even more intensity than before.

It felt good to be loved. . .

Suddenly, Jing and Tian Li pulled away simultaneously.

"Xiao You."

"Lei."

The two were both surprised with the name the other uttered. Jing had pulled away, remembering Tian Li was engaged, that she was no longer the girl he loved. She was shocked to hear Lei's name from Tian Li's lips. But now, she quickly felt a prick on her heart, thinking about Lei and what had just happened.

Tian Li came to see her after not doing so in days. There had been longing in his voice that she didn't really hear until he grabbed her. And then the moment he pulled her to him, memories of her first kiss returned to her.

Yes, she remembered well how it had happened. She had been feeling depressed, thinking it wasn't worth to be Teng Tang Jing. Suddenly, Tian Li was saying he loved her; for a tenth of a second, she wanted to reject him but he was her best friend. She could never hurt him. Besides, his kiss, it told her that he really did love her.

But through those three long years, she never even realize it that she was only hurting Tian Li more. Jing knew that the last look Tian Li gave her that night before he ran off would forever haunt her.

"Sorry," Tian Li whispered, pulling Jing out of her reverie. Jing turned to him, unsure what exactly he was sorry about. Xiao You? The kiss? Lei? Maybe all?

A long silence followed.

"You and Lei. I was wondering. . . "

Turning to Tian Li, Jing tried to read behind his eyes. Before he ran off, he told her that his wish was for them was to find their own happiness. And when he came back he said he really was happy. But now, the seriousness in his eyes, he didn't seem happy at all.

If he wasn't happy, would it be fair for her to say she was?

But her greatest mistake before was not being honest with herself and Tian Li. Maybe if she could be more truthful this time, maybe everything would work out. . .

She lowered her head. "We're really trying to make it work," she said, voice barely above a whisper. "He's been very good to me."

It took Tian Li a while before he could react. He smiled.

"That's good. I'm happy for you two."

But Jing thought the happiness never reached his eyes.

-----------------------------------

"Where have you been?"

Having shaken out of his own world, Tian Li turned to his side to find Xiao You. Xiao You, his fiancée.

For a second she almost looked like a stranger to him. Because of the things that happened the last few hours, Tian Li still felt he was back in the past. All he could think about was Jing. Jing, who he was supposed to have long forgotten. . .

But this girl, Xiao You, she was smiling innocently up at him, her eyes expectant.

"Out," he answered distractedly after a while.

Still preoccupied, he made a move to pass her by without another word. A small warm hand on his elbow stopped him. He turned back to Xiao You.

It was like he was douse with cold water as he saw her eyes. Pained eyes shining with unshed tears.

He has seen that look before. The look in Xiao You's eyes now had been like his own before.

How many times before had Jing turned to leave him without a second glance? And how many times before had she failed to notice his efforts? Oh how many times before had she taken his feelings for granted?

But this was not about Jing, this was about Xiao You. Xiao You who loved him. . .

Trying to smile reassuringly, Tian Li pulled his fiancée to him. Stroking her back, he whispered some incoherent apologies into her hair.

She felt good in his arms. So soft and warm. He could feel no small piece of resistance from her. She liked being in his arms.

Pulling back, Tian Li stared down at his fiancée. She looked so contented too.

With everything Xiao You is showering upon him, Tian Li knew he should feel guilty for thinking so much about his past.

Yes. Even when he pulled away from Jing from their kiss, instead of Xiao You, he had thought of the past. It was Jing who had to remind him about Xiao You. If anything, the kiss was forbidden because of Xiao You and not because of Lei.

He really shouldn't care about Lei. Lei and Jing. He shouldn't care. When he left years ago, didn't he already decide to let them be?

He should know better than to let the past get to him. Didn't he already spend the last seven years of his life forgetting everything? Now that he was about to enter a new life, he should just leave them all to history. . .

Without a second thought, he leaned over and kissed his fiancée. Kissed her like he never before.

When he pulled away, they were both breathing heavily.

"What was that for?" Xiao You asked, cheeks dark pink.

For a second, Tian Li didn't know what to answer. Half of him wanted to say it was because he had to prove something. Half of him wanted to say that's what he felt.

In the end he chose the latter.

"You're my fiancée and I love you, does that need any reason?"

Xiao You shook her head. She smiled, so sweetly and gently.

"I love you too."

Leaning close, she buried her head in his chest.

He kissed the top of her forehead.

There was no need for self-doubting.

This was the girl who would never pull away from him. . .

This was the girl he loved. . .

He closed his eyes, letting Xiao You's embrace wash away all the heartaches of the past.

Suddenly there was a cough. . . it sounded so distant, Tian Li wanted to ignore it. . . but when it came again, he was forced to pull away from Xiao You.

To his surprise, he came face to face with his brother.

Looking at him, Tian Li wondered what was wrong with his brother. He seemed to have acquired a habit of interrupting him and Xiao You.

"Sorry to interrupt. But really, in the front doorway? Good thing it was only me but what if someone suddenly visits, Shan Cai would have gotten a heart attack."

His brother's voice sounded normal but somehow Tian Li thought he heard iciness within it; a sudden jolt hit Tian Li. He knew his fiancée loved his brother before but could it be possible that his brother felt something for her too?

Looking from his brother, Tian Li glanced over at his fiancée. She had her head down, not daring to look up. A sudden prick of pain stabbed at his heart.

This situation was all too familiar. . . and the last time, he let go without too much of a fight. . .

He turned back to his brother. He saw how much Ah Lang has changed, obviously he was no longer the playboy before. But Tian Li knew he himself had changed a lot too. . .

They stared at each other defiantly, brother against brother.

_I'm sorry, Ah Lang. . ._

He pulled Xiao You closer to his side. _But I won't be too willing to lose a second time around. . ._

_----------------------------------_

"Shan Cai!"

She turned quickly to the direction of his voice. "Dao Ming Si!"

In one swift movement, Dao Ming Si was by her side, engulfing her in his warm embrace. Shan Cai felt tears quickly coming to her eyes.

Ever since a few men picked her and her parents from their home a while ago, Shan Cai was filled with dread. All it took was seeing these men in their uniform, black suits as if condemning her, Shan Cai had been sure they were cronies from Dao Ming Feng. She didn't want to go with them at first but the thought of something happening to Dao Ming Si dissolved her resolution at once. All throughout the ride, she had imagined many terrible scenarios. She had never been as relieved as she had been when she finally saw Dao Ming Si as she entered one of the reception rooms of Maple Hotel.

Dao Ming Si was well. Oh thank the heavens he was okay.

"Did they hurt you?" he was asking frantically. He gave her a quick survey over, "Tell me, Shan Cai did those guys hurt you?"

Wiping away her tears, Shan Cai shook her head reassuringly.

"Good," Dao Ming Si said. Gathering her in his arms again, he turned back to the men Dao Ming Si knew must be his mother's bodyguards.

"What is it this time? Haven't I made myself clear before? I said I'm never coming back!"

"Not even for me?"

The sound of that voice made Shan Cai and Dao Ming Si turned around. Smiling from the opposite doorway was none other than Dao Ming Zhuang!

"Dao Ming Zhuang" was Shan Cai's shock voice.

"Dao Ming Zhuang?" her parents echoed, confused.

"Jie," Dao Ming Si muttered, still disbelievingly.

She half-laughed at her brother's dumb expression. "Miss me, little brother?"

But Dao Ming Si was still too shock. It took him a few seconds before saying anything.

"Jie, I don't understand. . . what's going on?"

Dao Ming Zhuang only smiled mysteriously. She first ushered Dao Ming Si, Shan Cai and her parents down a table.

She bowed politely at Mr and Mrs. Dong before turning back to her brother. "I heard you're engaged." Before Dao Ming Si could make out any reply, Dao Ming Zhuang had him up by the collar. Shan Cai's parents could only gasp in surprise. Such a quick change from the well-mannered lady to the fierce woman she had just become.

"You got yourself engaged without even telling me?" Dao Ming Si gulped, his sister looked pissed. Really really pissed.

"Jie-"

"And what's this about giving up being a Dao Ming? Have you gone completely nuts? Really, why should I have such a fool for a brother?"

"Dao Ming Zhuang!" Standing on her feet, Shan Cai quickly came to her boyfriend's rescue. "Please stop it! Dao Ming Si hasn't gone crazy. He's only doing this for me."

The older Dao Ming loosened her grip on her brother as she glanced at Shan Cai.

Tears softly running down her face, Shan Cai went on. "I'm sorry, I know you must be disappointed but Dao Ming Si thought there's no other way. We loved each other but your mother wouldn't let us be together so he rather give up his title." Sobbing, Shan Cai felt her heart breaking. "A lot don't agree but I thought you'd understand, Dao Ming Zhuang Xue Jie."

Everyone in the room became silent. Mrs. Dong started crying, whining how unfair it was that the rich and the poor couldn't be together making her husband cry too.

Completely releasing her hold on her brother, Dao Ming Zhuang let Dao Ming Si go. He quickly went to hold Shan Cai. Dao Ming Zhuang watched as her once violent brother gently comforted Shan Cai.

Everyone could see they loved each other. . .

Finally, she couldn't hold out anymore and Dao Ming Zhuang began to laugh.

"You two have come a long way. I can't believe it was only a few years but the first time I came back, I almost thought you two would never make it this far." Then pushing her brother off Shan Cai, Dao Ming Zhuang gave her a big hug.

"I'm sorry Shan Cai but I was only teasing you two."

"TEASING?" Dao Ming Si roared. After making him think that even his dearest sister was now against his relationship with Shan Cai, she would say she was just teasing?

He was about to rant off but he quickly quieted when Dao Ming Zhuang gave him an evil glare.

"Yes, I was just teasing and testing too in a way."

"I don't understand." This was from Shan Cai's father.

Dao Ming Zhuang nodded as she pulled away from Shan Cai. She took a deep breath before starting to explain.

"I know you two have overcome a lot and through it, you showed everyone how much you two loved each other."

"Not everyone," Dao Ming Si said bitterly.

Dao Ming Zhuang smiled. Then to the great surprise of everyone, from the door Dao Ming Zhuang came from before now stood a dignified-looking man.

Dao Ming Si paled at once. "Pa. . . "

As his father walk towards where he stood next to Shan Cai, Dao Ming Si could only stand there, confused and apprehensive.

He hasn't even seen his father for the last four years. What was he doing now in Taiwan?

His father stopped two steps in front of him. In his whole life, Dao Ming Si never remembered him looking as unforeboding as he did now.

"How are you my son?" Dao Ming Cheng asked. Dao Ming Si stared at his father who was actually smiling. He was getting more confused with each second.

Looking away, Dao Ming Si pulled Shan Cai closer to his side. He could tell she was as nervous as he was.

"I'm fine. Very happy actually." Bravely, he looked up again, showing his ring. "I'm engaged to the woman I love."

Dao Ming Cheng only nodded. To Dao Ming Si's surprise, he smiled again. "Yes, I can see that." But as quickly as he smiled, Dao Ming Cheng heaved a heavy sigh. "Ah Si, it's been years since we saw each other and I'm sorry to bring such news with me."

Both Dao Ming Si and Shan Cai tensed up.

"It's your Ma. . . "

Dao Ming Si's eyes widen with surprise. He was so scared his father would try to separate him and Shan Cai but the distressed mention of Dao Ming Feng scared him even more. Had something happened to his Ma?

"What is it?" His voice clearly told everyone that as much as he seemed to have harbored ill feelings for his mom, he still loved her.

It was Dao Ming Zhuang who came to answer Dao Ming Si. "Ma suffered some mild heart attack a while back."

"Is she okay now? Where is she?" Dao Ming Si couldn't even help the anxiety from his voice.

"She's fine now," Dao Ming Cheng reassured. "It was just she really felt bad when you wouldn't return to her."

Guiltily, Dao Ming Si dropped his head. "Well, please tell her I'm sorry but if this is about me going back, Pa, I'm sorry but I won't give up Shan Cai."

Dao Ming Cheng chuckled. "I know. Actually that was what I was originally thinking but you two have convinced me enough."

Shan Cai, who had her head down the whole time, raised it for the first time.

"I don't understand." She had a hopeful look in her eyes.

Dao Ming Cheng smiled. "You have managed to convince me. I'm not against the two of you. My wife is stubborn, that's where Ah Si took his from, but I know I can talk it out with her; besides her attack had mellowed her a little. She really misses her son. I promise the two of us would let you marry but we only have one wish." He turned to his son. "And that is for you to come back into being a Dao Ming."

Dao Ming Si stared incredulously at his father, he turned to his sister as if asking for her confirmation. She nodded smiling. Feeling unreal, he then turned to his father and smiled gratefully. Next he turned to Shan Cai.

Her eyes were already filled with tears and tears came into his too.

"We did, we really did it Shan Cai," he whispered, hugging her to him excitedly.

She wrapped her arms around him, not caring whether she was displaying too much emotion in front of other people. She was just too happy. Happy for her Dao Ming Si. Yes, a lot has happened but he was still Dao Ming Si. Finally now the missing part of him was back. . .

The kiss they shared was the most meaningful yet because not only was it filled with the love between them. . . finally, finally it was complete now that it was granted with both their families' love and consent. . .

-------------------------------------

"Happy birthday, Mi Mi. Happy birthday, Mi Mi. Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday, Mi Mi."

Mi Mi, in her pink bunny robe, quickly felt her eyes watering. Today, third of February, she turned eighteen. Her greatest wish for today had been to see her dearest Qing He at school, she had been disappointed when the whole day she didn't. But now, not only was her dearest Chen Qing He standing in her doorway, in front of her; he was also holding the biggest birthday cake in his hands. He sang for her too! A touched Mi Mi stood there, sobbing happily.

"Eh, Mi Mi, this cake is heavy. Would you cry later and let us come in first?"

Those words earned Chen Qing He a slap on the head from Dao Ming Si. "Bao fa hu de er zi, such disgusting manners you have."

As Dao Ming Si began lecturing Qing He, Shan Cai turned to Mi Mi and smiled.

"Someone at the office told me your birthday. I hope you don't mind the three of us appearing like this."

Wiping away her tears, Mi Mi shook her head. "Of course not, Shan Cai Senior." She stole a glance over at Qing He. She had admitted to Shan Cai that she liked Qing He before and she knew Shan Cai did this now because of that confession. "Thank you," she said, voice full of meaning.

Shan Cai nodded in understanding. After that, Mi Mi ushered the three inside her house. And with Shan Cai's tactical thinking, Qing He ended up next to Mi Mi on one couch while she and Dao Ming Si sat next to each other on the other.

It was very obvious what Shan Cai was trying to do and Mi Mi felt grateful. Blushing, she glanced at the boy next to her. He was wolfing down his piece of cake in record time.

"This cake is really good," he was saying. "This cake is from the pastry shop Shan Cai used to work in." Mi Mi sighed a little disappointedly. As always, her dearest Chen Qing He's words were about Shan Cai.

Dao Ming Si probably saw her discomfort and quickly butted in.

"You're talking nonsense again, bao fa hu de er zi." He gave Qing He a look. "Why don't you tell Mi Mi something else? Some other important stuff?"

Qing He scratched his head. "Huh? Important stuff? Oh, yeah. . . Xiao You used to work there too."

Two exasperated sighs echoed within the quaint, little living room.

"So stupid," Dao Ming Si muttered under his breath.

"So dense," Shan Cai mumbled out.

"Huh?" was Qing He ever-intelligent reply. He looked from one to the other. "Shan Cai, Dao Ming Si, did you guys wanted me to say something else?" Qing He was thoughtful for a second. Snapping his fingers, he said excitedly, "Oh! You want me to tell that today finally Shan Cai had been truly accepted into the Dao Ming family!"

The two only glared back at Qing He in response.

Qing He blinked, more confused than ever. "That's not it, either? But that's important, isn't it. . . ?" He tried pondering again. Giving up, he held up his hands, "Ah, I'm lost. What is it really? Why don't you tell me?"

A frustrated Dao Ming Si started calling Qing He all sorts of names. Shan Cai, on the other hand was only frowning and letting Dao Ming Si on with his ranting.

Watching them, Mi Mi felt both happy and sad. Her whole life changed ever since she met Qing He. Like her true hero, he had already helped her in many ways. She really like him and even though she knew he like Shan Cai, Mi Mi would try to be happy with that. Shan Cai was a great girl, it was no wonder she won the heart of F4's most handsome Dao Ming Si.

Besides after all that Qing He has found out about her, she should be contented with what she had now. And that was that her dearest Chen Qing He was still here to share her happy and even sad moments. Even if he may never like her back, at least he was still here. . .

"Thank you, everyone," she suddenly said, interrupting the commotion the three had suddenly made. She turned to Dao Ming Si and bowed. "Thank you, Dao Ming Si Senior. It is my honor to be visited by F4's legendary leader, Dao Ming Si."

Seemingly amused, Dao Ming Si only shook his head, brushing away her flatteries. "It's nothing Mi Mi, don't thank me. Thank Shan Cai."

Mi Mi nodded then turned to Shan Cai. She bowed to her too, "Thank you very much, Shan Cai Senior. You have done a lot for me."

Shan Cai smiled and reached over to take Mi Mi's hand. "It's okay, Mi Mi. I'm the one who owes you a lot." Mi Mi turned to her in confusion. "Remember, what you told me before?" Shan Cai smiled happily, "I didn't give up, you shouldn't too, okay?"

Dawning with understanding, Mi Mi nodded. Yes, she was right all along. Dong Shan Cai truly was a great girl.

Shyly, she turned to her dearest Qing He Senior and smiled. "Thank you, Qing He Senior." And without another thought, she reached over and planted a quick peck on his cheek. "For everything," she added as she pulled away.

Everyone seemed stunned by her bold action, Qing He the most. He touched the skin on his cheek where her lips had kissed, mouth agape.

"You. . . Mi Mi, you just. . . for what. . . huh?"

Blushing, Mi Mi took a bite of cake from her plate.

_Yes, don't give up. Never give up. One day he will appreciate my efforts too._

Trying to be casual, out loud, Mi Mi just said. "Qing He Senior, you're right. This cake really is good."

-----------------------------------

"Xi Men, are you drunk?"

Wobbling on jelly legs, Xi Men walked towards her. When he reached her, he half-fell over. Good thing he didn't, there was no way, Xiao You thought that her petite frame could support Xi Men with his built.

Having no other choice, Xiao You assisted Xi Men, letting him shift some weight upon her. God, he smelled so strongly of alcohol.

"Xi Men, don't tell me you drove home by yourself? Look at you, barely able to walk!" Xiao You berated as she helped Xi Men over to the stairs.

"I'mmm not drunk. A little tipssssy, mayyyybe. I can drive jjjussst fine."

Finding herself clutching Xi Men's shirt, Xiao You silently thanked anyone up there who was listening. It was a miracle Xi Men hadn't met an accident.

Taking each step slowly, Xi Men and Xiao You somehow managed to reach the second floor without any incident. As they trudged towards his room, Xiao You could feel her back already aching.

She should never have tried helping Xi Men on her own, she should have tried asking for some help. She felt her spine had just been forever curved.

Opening his door, Xi Men went on to enter his room. He went straight for the bed and collapsed heavily on it.

For a second, Xiao You thought of leaving him alone but in another second, she was inside the room, going over the bath and getting some wet towel.

As she emerged from the bath, Xiao You stood nervously by the doorway for a few seconds. Xi Men had his eyes closed, seemingly passed out.

Walking over to him then sitting on the bed, Xiao You could only stare at him for a while. Though the scent of alcohol wrecked so strongly from him, with his eyes closed like this, he looked so much like a sleeping angel.

So innocent that one might not be able to recognize him as the worldly playboy Xi Men Zhong er Lang.

Closing her eyes, Xiao You scolded herself. She shouldn't be admiring how Xi Men Zhong er Lang looked asleep when seventeen nights from now on, she would start waking up everyday next to another Xi Men.

Taking a deep breath, Xiao You opened her eyes. Then taking in another deep breath, Xiao You carefully began to wipe Xi Men's forehead with the wet towel in her hand.

All went well for the first few seconds; suddenly Xi Men stirred and slowly began to open his eyes.

He blinked his eyes repeatedly. "Xiao You?"

She nodded, offering a small smile.

Tentatively, Xi Men reached to touch the wrist of her hand that was wiping his forehead.

"Xiao You," he whispered again. Slowly, he took his hand from her wrist away and reached to touch her cheek.

Xiao You could feel her heart suddenly beginning to race.

"Xi Men."

In a breathless second, Xi Men hurled her towards him. She stilled, half-laying on top of Xi Men.

"Xi Men, what are you-"

Xiao You stopped knowing her words only reached drunken deaf ears. Xi Men was stroking her hair, whispering her name over and over again.

Tears were forming in Xiao You's eyes. She wanted to escape but somehow she didn't know how. . .

Suddenly, she lost all ability of breathing as Xi Men whispered something softly in her ears.

With all her strength, she pushed away from Xi Men.

"What did you say?"

Xi Men smiled at her. A small smile that was obviously another effect of the alcohol.

"I want to make love to you."

Once more, Xi Men hurled her to him but this time, aiming for her lips on his.

The kiss wasn't anything like the one he gave her before. Not chaste and sweet this time. This kiss was all hot, open and wet.

As he continued to kiss her, Xi Men's hands began to stray. Through the thin fabric of her nightgown and robe, Xiao You could feel Xi Men's warm hands.

She tried to resist, again and again she tried. . . but somehow the taste of alcohol on her tongue intoxicated her, somehow the feeling of Xi Men's kiss overwhelmed her. . .

So instead of pulling away and slapping Xi Men, Xiao You suddenly started returning his kiss. . .

At that moment, Xiao You forgot all about it being forbidden. She didn't draw back even when she felt Xi Men untying her robe.

But suddenly the feeling of a warm hand on the side of her breast caused her to jump up. Even through the robe, she still felt the burning heat in Xi Men's hand.

Looking down at Xi Men, Xiao You saw all the smoldering desire within them. It felt unreal that she could affect this playboy that way. He was used to dating supermodels and celebrities. . .

But is that what she wanted? To be like all his other mei meis? At one time, she said she was willing. . . but even then Xiao You knew she wanted something more. . .

Just as she wanted to see something more in his eyes. . .

But they weren't there. . .

She ran off from Xi Men's bedroom in a rush. Tears streaking down her face, Xiao You blindly ran through the hallways and finally to her bedroom.

She fell upon her bed, hiding her face beneath her soft pillows.

Tonight wasn't any different from that time before. No, she was trembling not because of experienced Xi Men. . .

Actually. . . she was scared of herself. . .

--------------------------------------

February fourth. Seventeen days to go. . .

Sighing, Xi Men thought that all he did the last few weeks was to count down the days until Xiao You's wedding.

Massaging his temples a little, Xi Men walked out of his room and down the stairs. Then before entering the dining room, Xi Men took a deep breath.

Inside, Xiao You would be with his brother. This was getting more awkward as each day passed.

Especially now. . . if he read it right. His brother seemed to finally realize his feelings for Xiao You too. Three days ago as he pressed Xiao You closer to him, he was practically telling him that he was not letting him take Xiao You without a fight.

Though annoyed, in a way Xi Men couldn't blame his brother. . .

Taking a deep breath, Xi Men pasted a smile on his face as he entered the dining room.

"Good morning," he greeted cheerfully. He almost wasn't surprised how Tian Li and Xiao You quickly tensed up. He pretended not to see it.

"Xiao You," he greeted, smiling. Yup, he wanted his brother to know he didn't plan to lose that easily either.

"You're looking very lovely today," he said. That's it. The suave and cool Xi Men was back.

Tian Li almost raised an eyebrow while Xiao You only nodded. She looked quite pale.

Taking his seat, Xi Men noted redness in Xiao You's eyes too.

"Are you alright, Xiao You?" he asked, much concern in his voice.

"I'm okay," she answered, looking down at her plate.

Looking at her Xi Men decided maybe she was uncomfortable; Tian Li was after all there too.

A bit saddened Xi Men knew that was a point for his brother's court.

But as resolved, he wasn't going to back down that easily. . .

Smiling, Xi Men went on. "Well, you should have been with us last night Xiao You. Shan Cai's is your best friend; you should be there at VS to celebrate with her good news. Can you believe it? As of two days ago, she's really now accepted into the Dao Ming family?"

He was trying to sound casual and yet Xiao You still refused to look up at him.

"It's okay. I explained to Shan Cai. Tian Li and I already had plans. I congratulated her and Dao Ming Si on the phone."

Having just given the cold shoulder, Xi Men suddenly felt withdrawing. It was so obvious that something was wrong with Xiao You today and she had full intention of letting out her bad mood on him.

Surprisingly, it was his brother, his rival, who came to his rescue.

"So Ah Lang," he began, breaking the heavy atmosphere. "How many did you drink? Don't forget you had an operation only six months ago." He creased his eyebrows in concern. "And please don't tell me you drove home by yourself?"

Grateful and a bit touched, Xi Men smiled at his brother reassuringly. "It was nothing, big brother. I only had a few, nothing at all."

Suddenly, Xiao You was up on her feet. Both brothers turned to her in surprise.

"I'm full," she announced. She turned to Tian Li and smiled a little. "I think I'm going up to rest a bit. Just call on me when the couturier comes with my gown."

At once, the two brothers were on their feet; they both reached to assist Xiao You, only Tian Li was faster.

"Are you alright?" he asked worriedly.

"Maybe I should call the doctor," Xi Men echoed.

But Xiao You was shaking her head. "I'll be okay." She leaned her head on her fiancée's shoulder. "Just help me up in my room, please."

Nodding, Tian Li helped Xiao You out of the dining room. Xi Men was left alone, anxious and confused.

Anxious of Xiao You's health but also confused why she seemed so upset with him today.

Sure, she kept her guard around him but she never really showed open displeasure against him.

What did he do wrong?

Suddenly not feeling well enough himself, Xi Men went out of the dining room. As he walked towards his room, he began massaging his temples again. Maybe he had drunk more than he thought last night. He could still feel some annoying hangover effects.

Opening his door, he went straight for his bed.

He had exactly two weeks and three days to do something to stop Xiao You from marrying his brother and yet day by day he seemed to be losing more and more.

Rubbing his forehead where an artery was throbbing erratically, Xi Men thought of Xiao You and how upset she looked.

What the hell happened? Had he unconsciously did something he shouldn't have?

Suddenly his eyes fell upon a towel almost unnoticed by the side of his bed, Xi Men gasped as memories of last night began pouring in.

Xiao You trying to help him up the stairs. . .

Xiao You wiping his forehead. . .

Xiao You's crying face. . .

His head dropped into his hands.

He really was stupid. . .

Yes, without meaning to, he had obviously just given some thousands more points over to his brother. . .

-------------------------------------

"You cheated!"

"No, I did not!"

Xiao Qiao pouted. Who ever heard of kiss poker? She glared at Mei Zuo who was at fault.

Sure, this thing Mei Zuo came up with was a whole lot better than strip poker but for someone who just had a losing streak, someone who had been repeatedly cheated, kiss poker was not even as good as she originally thought.

Mei Zuo smiled at her innocently. "Don't give me that look. Come and 'pucker' up."

Rolling her eyes, Xiao Qiao leaned towards her boyfriend; he had his eyes closed expectantly. She stopped an inch away from meeting his lips.

"Didn't you say boys should initiate this type of things?"

Mei Zuo opened his eyes exasperatedly. "Xiao Qiao, we're on a game. This is an exception."

Xiao Qiao smiled inwardly seeing her boyfriend's distressed face. It's not like she mind kissing him, actually she enjoyed it a lot but after five consecutive losses, she decided a little fun was at call.

So instead of kissing him as rule, Xiao Qiao pulled back, leaning back on her comfortable pillows.

"Well then, I'm quitting," she said impishly.

Mei Zuo growled and leaned towards her. "No, you can't! Not until you give me my kiss." He placed his hands on the wall, one on either side of her head, effectively trapping her.

He leaned towards her until his hair tickled her forehead.

"So are you going to give me that kiss or should I have to take aggressive measures?" he teased.

Xiao Qiao pretended to look thoughtful. "The second doesn't sound bad."

With her words, Mei Zuo could only smile. Who was he to deny such a request? He closed the last few millimeters of space between their lips and kissed his Xiao Qiao.

Then after what seemed like ages, Mei Zuo pulled away. He opened his eyes and the sight that welcomed him pleased him immensely. Xiao Qiao's face was flushed, lids closed and lips kiss-swollen. She was so beautiful Mei Zuo had to wonder how she could look so tempting yet still so innocent at the same time.

Oh how he yearned for her so much. . . he just can't enough of her.

But Xiao Qiao wasn't that kind of girl; as much as she could stimulate him that way, Mei Zuo knew he was willingly to wait. He was scared of the intensity of his feelings but for Xiao Qiao, he was willing to do his best. All because he loved her.

So instead ravaging her again, he only leaned over to lightly brush his lips on hers.

"I love you, you know."

Opening her eyes, Xiao Qiao grinned at Mei Zuo. She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Yeah, I know. You just told me an hour ago, remember?"

"Well, I like saying it again and again," Mei Zuo said, head buried deep in Xiao Qiao's long fragrant hair.

For long moments, the two of them sat there, contented in letting their hearts beat together.

Stroking Xiao Qiao's back, Mei Zuo could only smile inwardly. Before Xiao Qiao, he never thought something as innocent as this type of embrace could be even as fulfilling as all other intimacies.

For Xiao Qiao's part, she still felt apprehensive sometimes.

Feeling her boyfriend's heavy breathing, Xiao Qiao knew what he must be thinking. She was raised as the perfect little good girl but she wasn't that naïve. She knew her boyfriend was used to a different lifestyle and the fact that he had not imposed anything on her only touched her deeply.

They still have different personalities, but at least now, they were really both trying to make it work. Xiao Qiao knew they could definitely make it work.

Yes. All the hard times were all in the past now. She knew she deserved this love. She waited ten years for this and she would never ever let go.

Finally, pulling away, she smiled adoringly at her boyfriend.

"Okay, I guess it's my turn to give you that kiss."

Cupping his head, Xiao Qiao brought him closer to her. She gave him a quick and chaste kiss. Then she pulled away and once more smiled at him.

"I love you too, Mei Zuo." Then, without warning, Xiao Qiao took one of her immaculate white pillows and hit Mei Zuo square on the back.

And as feathers rained all around them, Xiao Qiao laughing yelled out.

"But you still cheated!"

---------------------------------------

As he watched Jing, Lei could only marvel his friend's guts. How he wished he could have even just an ounce of Dao Ming Si's backbone.

Three years ago, in that fateful beach in Japan, when Dao Ming Si walked in during a tender moment between him and Shan Cai, he had not even thought twice of giving Lei the punch he most certainly deserved then.

Three days ago, Lei wanted nothing but to be Dao Ming Si. The second he drove into Teng estate, the first thing he saw was Jing and Tian Li up in her balcony. And right in front of his very eyes, he saw them kiss.

It shouldn't have hurt him as much. After all, when he was younger he had always been unfortunate enough to walk into such scenes but unlike those times years ago, the scene two days ago was different.

Unlike those times before, that kiss wasn't chaste. That kiss had been full of passion between two mature people. Pure unadulterated desire between a man and a woman.

How he wanted to rush and hit Xi Men Tian Li then. And oh how much he wanted to scream and yell at Jing.

And now, seeing no trace of remorse in the girl sitting next to him, the anger that Lei had suppressed then suddenly bubbled out of control.

"Jing," he gritted her name between his teeth.

She turned to him. There was still no guilt in her eyes. Oh how could she look at him and not feel guilty? The way she was hurting him, she should!

Frustrated beyond imaginable, Lei roughly grabbed her arm.

She quickly winced in pain. "Lei! You're hurting me!"

Watching as Jing try to free herself from his grasp, Lei became even more infuriated. He reached for her other arm and pulled her closer; their bodies ended press closer than they had even been before.

Jing's eyes flew towards Lei. In them were mixed emotions. . .

"Lei, please you're hurting me," she moaned again.

"What about me?" he asked, his voice coming out louder than intended. "What do you think you're doing to me?"

"Lei. . . "

"Tell me Jing, don't I mean anything to you at all?"

She looked away and it angered Lei more. He began to shake her. He shook her until her hair fanned out.

"Damn it Teng Tang Jing! Why do you always have to do this to me!"

Lei saw how surprised she was. He too surprised himself actually. Never in his whole life had ever thought of using such tone on Jing.

"I don't understand-" Jing began but before she could even finish, Lei had his lips over hers.

It was pure impulse at first; he wanted to punish Jing in the bruising kiss. . . as his lips moved over hers in a hard and unmerciful way, he wanted her to feel some pain after all those she had inflicted on him. . .

And yet. . . without knowing how, Lei found his kiss going slower. . . his lips began to nudge Jing's own with more passion and sensuality than he had ever kiss before. . .

Lost in his own overflowing emotions, Lei didn't even realize that Jing had not even made any sort of reply to his touch. One hand went lower to encircle her waist but when his other reached out to touch her face, Lei found himself pulling back instantly.

Though she didn't recoil from his kiss, she sure didn't encourage it either. Lei watched helplessly as Jing just stood there, unmoving. . . and crying. . .

"Why. . . ?" Jing's voice trembled out so softly.

Why? She was asking him why? After all these years, she would ask him that? If anything he should be asking her all these whys!

Why did she have to appear in his life? Why did she have to pull him out of his shell and make him fall so helplessly in love with her when in the end she would only fall for someone else? Why did she always have to leave him? Why did she have to return just make him fall in love with her all over again? Why, oh god why was she choosing Tian Li? Again?

Unable to look at her crying face for another second, Lei turned and suddenly ran out.

Too bad he decided to because if he hadn't then he might have heard Jing whispering something that would surely caused his heart to jump.

"Why Lei? Why do you always have to misunderstand me? . . . You ask me if you meant something to me, but is it really that hard to see? All these years I've love you. Only you."

------------------------------------

So you see dear readers what have you failed to notice, that **piglet **did, was the biggest line Tian Li had given last chap. . . _Love takes two_. . . Jing never loved Xi Men Tian Li. . . and now after reading the last part of the chap, we all know now who. . . :p

**Next chapter: **Unable to stand it any longer, Lei and Shan Cai confront Tian Li and Jing respectively. Through these two fateful meetings, what more shocking secrets would be revealed? Between Jing and Tian Li's past and Shan Cai and Lei's history, where is the connection? Find out next chapter, **Between Truth and Pretense**.

AN: Okay, I know you guys have all these sort of questions right now but I assure you they are all going to be answered in the next chap. Or if it would be any help to release any stress, you can still go on and ask what you want in your comments, I'll answer them all next time thru my replies or on my next chap. So for now, please do review. I've been told before that my problem in writing is my description so I would like to know if I had improved. Since this chap seemed to be focused on kissing(hehe), can I trouble you guys to tell me if the emotions could at least be felt or should I try a little more harder. Any form of criticisms are very welcome, so please don't hesitate. Thank you all in advance.

Okay I couldn't help myself, I like to stimulate readers' mind. So do read between Jing's line(esp the very last) and within it is the biggest secret(of the whole TL-Jing-Lei triangle) yet. If you can see through it then like before, I would dedicate the chap especially to you! Go, min'na(how do you say 'everyone' in Chinese anyway?) and jia you!


	13. Between Truth and Pretense

**AN: **I'm back sooner than ever before! Hehe, this very quick update is my belated Christmas gift to you all. Hmmm, this chap all happens in a day(which was the date when I had turned eighteen. lolz, I really talk too much) Anyways, I hope you guys don't mind but nothing really happens here. This chap is intended primarily to uncover TL, Jing and Lei's past. Do enjoy reading

**piglet:** i can't say anything more except thank you and just read for yourself. winks

**Juliana:** thanks for reading!

**Disclaimer:** On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Komio-san's talents . . . Angie Cai Jie's money. . . HYD's ownership. . . MG's title rights. . . and a smack for dreaming too much. . . hohohoho

**Warning:** To ultimate Lei fans, please read with an open mind. . . I would accept flames but before you do, please read everything carefully and for more explanations, please do read the author's notes at the end as well.

This chapter is dedicated to my net sister, dana aka vase. You guys just gotta read her story!!! Also this chap is dedicated to both piglet and Miracle because. . .

------------------------------------

Chapter 13: **Between Truth and Pretense**

"Jing Xue Jie, please tell me what it is."

Jing only continued staring at her lap. Shan Cai had appeared a few minutes ago. Ever since Lei ran out of her house yesterday, she had been expecting Shan Cai next. But now, was she really ready to tell the story she rather not think back with?

"Please Jing Xue Jie." Shan Cai said. She wasn't exactly pleading, wasn't exactly persuading but her soft voice slowly melted Jing's walls.

Taking a deep breath first, Jing finally looked up at Shan Cai who smiled in relief.

Jing smiled weakly back at Shan Cai. "Do you know what a handstand is?" she asked, as if out of the blue.

Furrows formed at Shan Cai's forehead. She stared questioningly at Jing before finally nodding.

"Yes. Lei told me about it before." Biting her lip, Shan Cai added. "Thinking back he told me a friend of his taught him." She stared directly back at Jing. "It was you, right, Jing Xue Jie?"

Jing smiled wistfully. "Yes."

A long silence followed before Jing asked in a voice barely above a whisper. "And do you know who taught me about the handstand?"

Shan Cai's eyes turned as big as saucers. "Xi Men Tian Li," she said, disbelieving and hesitant.

Once more Jing smiled wistfully. "Yes." With a shaking breath she began her story.

"At the age of two, three and four, my parents started training me. At that young age, they wanted me to learn five musical instruments, wanted me to learn different languages, walk and act like a lady, prepared me to be the Teng Corporation's heir. I don't exactly remember but at such an age, it was really hard for me. I love my parents and they are good parents to me but they expected a daughter that was nothing less than perfect. So in the mornings, I would really try my best and in some evenings, I'd cry softly to myself, thinking about my parents' disappointed faces when I did something less than what they wanted."

Suddenly unsure how to continue, Jing stopped. This would be a hard part, explaining the start of her friendship with Tian Li.

Taking another deep breath, she braved on. "Before I knew it I had start school. You'd think I would be the best student but on the very first day of kindergarten, I did something wrong. So while waiting for my nanny to pick me up, when everyone else were gone and I thought no one would see me, I cried in a little corner, thinking my parents would be very disappointed with me."

Closing her eyes, Jing softly said the words Shan Cai knew all too well herself.

"When you can't stop your tears from flowing out, then you can do a handstand. That way, the tears that wanted to flow out; will not be able to."

Opening her eyes again, Jing smiled. "That first day when I was crying on the corner was also the first time Tian Li who told me those words. I hadn't really paid attention to my classmates because I wouldn't know how to socialize with kids my age so at first I tried to ignore him. . . "

-------------------------------

"Isn't it funny how Mei Zuo ignored Xiao Qiao for ten years and now look at them?"

Both Mei Zuo and Xiao Qiao blushed beet red at Mrs. Ling remark.

Xiao Qiao and her parents were over at the Ling mansion for some late lunch. Sitting next to Xiao Qiao, Mei Zuo had been very sweet, putting more food on her plate and cutting the meat for her. Both Mrs. Ling and Mrs. Ying were sighing all throughout dinner, seeing how well their kids were doing. But as Mei Zuo feed Xiao Qiao with his own fork, his mother had not let it pass for teasing.

Slowly sipping, Mei Zuo tried to cool down the warmness in his cheeks.

"Ma, you're supposed to be on my side," he muttered, half-casual and half-embarrassed.

From their seats, the ten-year-old twins giggled. Mei Zuo quickly gave them a look. They too were supposed to be on his side.

"Oh but I am on your side dear," Mrs. Ling said, smiling innocently. Not for the first time, Mei Zuo thought that his mother had known all along about the whole thing about Xiao Qiao teasing him about the cello and all. He was even more convinced with his mother's next words. "Actually, I'm proud you finally got some senses."

Once more, the twins giggled.

On the other hand, Xiao Qiao's mother was only nodding. "Yes, they do look good together, don't they dear?" she asked her husband.

But Mr. Ying was actually talking to Mr. Ling, both oblivious to anything except economics, business expansion and buying more stocks. On the sound of his name called though, Xiao Qiao's father turned to his wife, distractedly.

"What was that?"

"I said Xiao Qiao and Mei Zuo look good together, don't you think too?"

As if realizing for the first time that he was there not for business but because of his daughter, Mr. Ying looked over towards Mei Zuo and gave him a thorough examination. Mei Zuo gulped; he could practically read through Mr. Ying's eyes. He was weighing whether an ex-playboy deserve his only daughter.

An ex-playboy himself, Mr. Ling quickly came to his son's rescue.

"Well, I have absolutely no objections. A girl as beautiful and talented as Xiao Qiao, I'm sure our grandchi. . . "

He stopped as his wife kicked him softly under the table.

Mei Zuo was really feeling uneasy now. Xiao Qiao's father was really getting red. You better not have touched my daughter inappropriately! his eyes were practically saying.

Finally, it was Xiao Qiao's turn to rescue Mei Zuo from another awkward silence.

"Uncle Ling, it's much too early to be talking about that."

Mei Zuo turned to her, amazed. How Xiao Qiao managed to say that without the slightest twinge of discomfort was beyond him. "After all, Mei Zuo and I have only been dating for six months."

She smiled at everyone around the table. "I waited ten years. I think I should make him wait a little more. . . especially of _those_ _exciting _things."

Mei Zuo blushed beet red. Whatever made him thought Xiao Qiao wanted to help him out? The innuendo in her words was so excruciatingly clear to everyone. . . except of course, to the twins. . .

Gulping, Mei Zuo wondered how much time he had to live before Xiao Qiao's father murdered him.

But glancing up, he was surprised to see everyone's knowing smile. Even Mr. Ying was nodding. Was he actually approving?

Looking at Xiao Qiao, Mei Zuo suddenly knew why everyone was so supportive for them. One, he knew his parents saw the change in him. Surely, they were happy he had retired from his wild life.

With Xiao Qiao's parents on the other, he guessed they just love and trust their daughter completely. If Xiao Qiao was happy with him, they would support that. Also, they knew their daughter would never do anything they might disapprove of. So even if Xiao Qiao's words had been teasing, her parents must know she was actually serious.

Lost in those beautiful brown orbs that were Xiao Qiao's eyes, Mei Zuo silently promised that he would prove to anyone that he deserved this love.

Understanding the look in his eyes, Xiao Qiao smiled at him. Mei Zuo couldn't help but smiling back at her.

He took her hand and squeezed it lovingly, forgetting everyone else in the room. It was only him and Xiao Qiao.

How he wished the moment could last forever. . .

But once more, Mrs. Ling interrupted the second all too soon.

"See? They're really sweet!"

--------------------------------

"He was very sweet," Jing was telling Shan Cai. "That's what I started finding out as the first few weeks passed. As we would always be left alone, while waiting for our nannies, there'll be times I would cry. Everytime I would, Tian Li would say those words to me. No matter what he was doing, he would stop just to help me cheer up."

As Jing continued her story, Shan Cai could feel her heart beating heavily. . .

"One day after he tried cheering me up again, out of curiosity, I finally asked him what a handstand was anyway. Without another word, he did it for me. Instantly I had to laugh; I told him I can't do such a thing since I'm in a skirt and all."

Closing her eyes, Jing smiled at the memory. "That was the first time he smiled for me. He suggested that if I want to, whenever I feel like crying, he'll do the handstand for me instead."

Then opening her eyes, Jing's face turned all serious again. "That was the start of our friendship. Tian Li had such a nice smile that I had come to adore. Yes, from that time on, I begun to adore this boy, who did everything for me. When I felt scared of disappointing someone, he was there to encourage me. With him, I wasn't expected as anything that I don't know if I am. At six, seven, everyone's expectation grew larger and if it wasn't for Tian Li who would be there when I needed a break from all my pretenses, I would have been so very tired. But Tian Li let me be girl I wish I were, even when I did something wrong, he would still smile and say it was okay. I'll always be very grateful for him for that."

Biting her lower lip, Jing continued so very softly. "Truthfully, my world revolved around Tian Li. . . until the first day of our third grade. . . until the day I met Lei. . . "

------------------------------

Lei stared at Tian Li, unsure what exactly he wanted to tell him. All he knew was that he had the sudden urge to see Tian Li. To settle the things between them and Jing.

There was a guarded look in Tian Li's eyes. Lei knew it meant that Tian Li understood why he was there. No point of beating around the bush.

"I came here because of Jing," Lei stated simply.

Tian Li stared plainly back at Lei. "What about Jing?"

The casual tone he used bristled at Lei. The anger he had been trying to control suddenly spewed over.

"I'm saying stop hurting her!" he said, more passionate than he intended.

"Hurting her?" Tian Li repeated. There was a blank look in his face that Lei didn't know whether to believe.

"Look, all I'm saying is you've hurt her enough! When you left home, didn't you know you broke her heart? Now, are you trying your best to break it all over again?" Lei knew he was acting not himself but he couldn't help the anger boiling within him. He inhaled deeply before continuing, a little more controlled this time. "I hate admitting it now but when I was young, I saw how good you were to her so why are you doing this now?"

"Lei," Tian Li started calmly. "Jing and I have a lot between us that I don't have to explain to you." He tilted his head to the side, almost calculating. "Or if you want, why don't you ask Jing herself?"

"But I can't stand seeing her in such a state! So unlike the Jing I know-"

"Well, maybe there's a lot you don't know about her, a lot you never bothered knowing," Tian Li said, his voice hinting some ice.

Suddenly, Lei stopped. His heart, his mind stopped. There was a look of accusation in Tian Li's eyes. He didn't understand what it was but it scared him. . .

What exactly did Tian Li knew that he didn't?

Seeing the questioningly look in Lei's eyes, Tian Li tried to regain his composure.

"Sorry," Tian Li said. It wasn't for him to tell Lei about all the mystery of the past. He turned around and added, "You should just come clear with it with Jing." He prepared to walk away.

"Tian Li," Lei called back. "Have you ever really love Jing?

Tian Li turned to Lei again, surprised. "What does that mean?"

"All I'm saying is if you really ever love her, you wouldn't be hurting her this much."

Once more, the wary look in Tian Li's eyes returned.

"Don't ask me such a question, Hua Zhe Lei. Why don't you ask yourself whether you-"

"I love her," Lei answered. He surprised himself with his own words and how he had just freely expressed his feelings but he knew it was the truth. It was absurd for Tian Li to even dare thinking otherwise.

"I love her," he repeated. "I think I have never really stopped loving her."

-----------------------------

Shaking her head, Jing took a deep breath first before she continued her story. "Like me when Tian Li first talked to me, Lei was crying on the corner of the room when I first saw him. Even now, I don't know what made me go to him and ask what was wrong."

Suddenly lost, Jing stopped. This was the first time, she would be telling the story of Lei. . . Her Lei. . .

"That first day, he only stared back at me, unsure and almost scared. F4 at five were as adorable as any five year old could be but something in Lei attracted me. He had this most vulnerable look in his face. . . In a way, I immediately knew I wanted to help him. So the next time Tian Li and I visited the kindergarten class, the first thing I did was go over to him. He wasn't crying that time, he only sat in silence, lost in his own world. I sat next to him and kept trying to get his attention; when he finally turned to me, I introduced myself. Then I asked him his name."

Smiling wistfully, Jing went to explain more. "He was reluctantly at first but then he told me his name. Hua Zhe Lei. I told him I like his name. He said something about his mother naming him and suddenly, he was crying."

"Such a fragile little boy he was, I felt an even greater need to do something. Without a word, I took his hand and pulled him towards the school's playground. In one corner of the playground was this big tree, I pulled him behind it, thinking he might not want anyone to see us. As we sat down, I asked him again what was wrong. After a while, whimpering, he whispered he missed his mother. Crying even more, he said he wants to be with his mother but his father said she was gone forever. . . "

Almost embarrassed Shan Cai looked away. This revelation shocked her a little. She knew Hua Zhe Lei's mother had died a long time ago. . . but at kindergarten? She never knew about this until now. . .

Come to think about it, there was a lot, she didn't know about Lei. A lot, she never really tried of finding out. . .

But as Jing begun speaking again, Shan Cai was forced to turn back to her.

"Without even saying it, I realized what must have happened to his mother. I felt the pain he felt; I understood why he was shutting out everyone around him. But as Tian Li taught me, it was wrong to keep pain all to yourself. So somehow, my arms went around him. He didn't protest, a little boy who missed the feel of loving arms around him, he only took the warmth I offered as his cries subsided. Ever since that day, everytime he would cry, I would pull him away and hold him in my arms. As the first few months passed, he began to come out of his shell. Began to play with F3 more, he had learned to smile too."

Jing heaved a shaky breath before continuing. "Months turned into years and it continued like that. I knew Lei had attached himself to me. . . he was my Lei. Whenever I would be with F4, he would leave F3's side and rather stay with me. . . but suddenly, Tian Li and I were no longer kids."

Jing's eyes turned distant. "It became awkward as I entered adolescence what I used to so comfortably did for Lei. I could no longer hold him in my arms without having my heart beat abnormally."

Biting her lips, Jing whispered out so very softly. "But what I didn't know was that was exactly how Tian Li felt about me too."

------------------------------

_I wish I have the nerve to confront Tian Li too, _Xi Men was thinking as he walked towards his room.

Lei had just arrived a few minutes ago, he assumed Lei wanted to see him so he was really surprised when it was Tian Li Lei called for.

Not meaning to, he had walked right into Lei and Tian Li's conversation-their argument. He left quickly though but not before hearing the anger in Lei's voice.

Xi Men sighed. He didn't know whether to feel guilty for wishing his brother would come to terms of realizing he still love Jing.

But of course, he shouldn't wish for that. After all, what about Lei? Lei who was even more of a brother to him?

No one could blame him though, he was hurting a lot himself. . .

Shaking his head, Xi Men gingerly opened his door. Before stepping into his room though, he made a turn and marched towards Xiao You's room instead.

He shouldn't sit around, praying for the courage to confront his brother. He shouldn't go around wishing for Tian Li to change his mind about his wedding.

After all, it's not like Xiao You would return to him if Tian Li dumped her. If anything, Xiao You would be even more hurt than ever.

Winning by default didn't exactly psyched him in any way, either.

After all as far as Xi Men knew, all in all those classic love stories it was the bride running out of a wedding. If he really wanted to have a chance, he should go straight and come clean with Xiao You herself.

And he should start by apologizing with his horrible actions last time.

He had fifteen days. . . he had to start doing his best now or forever hold his peace. . .

As Xi Men knocked on Xiao You's door, he pushed away all feelings of guilt. It wasn't his fault he and his brother love the same woman. . . he was only doing what he had to. . .

What his heart shouted for him to do. . .

"Is that you, Tian Li?" a soft voice asked from inside the room.

Xi Men didn't answer. It might not be his fault for having he and his brother loving Xiao You but it sure was his fault for being an insensitive jerk that Xiao You now loved the better Xi Men brother.

He had hurt her a lot. . . hurt her so many times, Xi Men sometimes think that maybe she would be a lot happier with his brother instead. . .

Because he didn't reply, Xiao You must have assumed it wasn't Tian Li because she opened her door dressed in none other than her wedding gown. . .

Xiao You's eyes quickly went wide when he saw him. "Xi Men."

She stood in her doorway uncomfortably. She wasn't sure why Xi Men wanted to talk to her but after what happened two nights ago, Xiao You knew she could never, even as much as she tried, talk to Xi Men the same way as before.

"You wanted to say something?" she prompted, not daring to look up at him.

Xi Men smiled sadly, sensing how she was rushing to get him off.

A few nights ago, he had a dream of Xiao You and Tian Li exchanging their vows in front of the altar. He woke up, sweating all over. It was a nightmare but seeing Xiao You so ready to marry his brother and so eager to push him away now, he knew it was only a premonition of harsh reality.

A long silence enveloped them. Xiao You, not daring to say anything. Xi Men, not knowing what to say.

"You look even more beautiful in your gown," he offered. Xiao You's head snapped back at him, disbelievingly. She looked at him suspiciously. Xi Men wanted her to know he was being sincere.

"Thank you," she answered after a while. "My couturier left it yesterday. She wants me to think of if I want anything altered before she did the final adjustment."

Xi Men nodded. Another silence hung between them.

This time it was Xiao You who cut it.

"You know what I didn't realize how hot I feel with this gown," she started jokingly. "I should change first, maybe you could tell me what you want later."

She prepared to close her door but Xi Men quickly reached for her. Because her dress completely exposed her arms and shoulders, his touch landed on the bare skin of her arm.

For a playboy who had pressed skins with so girls more than he could count, Xi Men couldn't help the electricity that shot through him at the feel of Xiao You's.

"I just want to say what I have now," he whispered, voice husky.

Xiao You nodded, slowly. For the life of Xi Men, he didn't know if it was right to be hopeful seeing the look in Xiao You's eyes.

He released her and stood closer to her. Not too close, still a decent distance, just enough to force her to look up at him to meet his eyes.

"All I want to say is. . . I'm sorry."

Xiao You's eyes widen in surprise.

"Sorry for everything. . . for last time. . . "

Hearing all this from Xi Men, Xiao You felt crying. It wasn't his fault, as much as it was hers.

But still, hearing the sincerity in his voice. . . it was softening her resolve all over again. . .

She knew Xi Men was waiting for her reply, she smiled reassuringly.

"It's okay," she whispered simply.

They stood there for a while. A small truce hanging between them. . .

But of course how much does it matter now anyway?

She was still getting married. She and Xi Men Zhong er Lang could very well be in speaking terms again but that doesn't change the fact that she was getting married in fifteen days.

They stared back at each other's eyes for a while. Finally, Xi Men turned to walk away.

"I'm sorry too."

It was so soft Xi Men couldn't possibly heard her but he did. He turned back to her.

He nodded in understanding. Then he smiled. . . the saddest and most defeated smile. . .

-----------------------------

"I had already went out with a lot of guys, and never had one expressed feelings for me the way Tian Li did. In a way, I was overwhelmed. I wanted to be loved; after all I was still a girl of sixteen, romance was filling my thoughts too."

"And it was hard for me to resist him. He was the person who did everything for me; the one person who understood the me I wanted to show to the world. Only with him have I had the courage to say my wish of becoming a lawyer one day. Truthfully, there was no reason for me not to reciprocate Tian Li's love."

"But maybe I had been spoiled by Tian Li too much. As he showered me with love, unconsciously I took all those for granted. Between him and F4, I would always choose F4. . . always choose my Lei. They were growing up as well and in front of my eyes, I realized Lei was no longer a child too. All the things I had felt for him before were no longer taboo. They even became stronger than ever. . . I should have stayed away and yet I didn't."

"Instead, I still went to him as if making up for all the times I wanted to be with him instead. I wasn't blind, of course, I too saw yearning in Lei's fifteen-year old eyes. It thrilled me, excited me, made me so very happy. . . and yet, for some reason, I didn't had the heart to break it off with Tian Li. . . "

Jing lowered her head, ashamed. "Until one day, it was Tian Li who decided it was enough. He was really hurt. That day, he made me realize I actually love Lei. . . He also said a lot I knew he didn't really mean. He accused me of doing to him the thing I hated the most. While I hated when people saw me as perfect little Teng Tang Jing that was exactly what I did to Tian Li, putting him in the highest pedestal. He did so much for me, in my eyes, he really was perfect that I didn't have the courage to hurt him."

"Ironic because doing that, I was actually hurting him more. . ."

Jing tried to shrug casually but Shan Cai saw how here eyes were beginning to water. "Of course, we broke up after. I was terribly guilty inside but I can't break down in front of the public eye." Jing laughed self-mockingly. "Of course, perfect Teng Tang jing can't be blame for anything so instead, everyone decided it must be Tian Li's fault. . . "

Finally, a tear escaped Jing's eye. She quickly wiped it off.

"One day about a week after, Tian Li came to my house and told me he was leaving. He apologized for saying the things he told me. That night, he told me he just found out the real score between his parents."

"He told me, he thought he was different from his dad. . . but as it turned out he was actually the same, he was being selfish. I kept telling him he wasn't but he went on apologizing again, telling me he said the things last time in spite. In a way, he was hoping, in the end I would chose him. But he told me after finding out the thing about his mom and dad, he realized he should give me what I want instead."

"He said he was going to pursue his dream, he told me one day I might too. His only wish was if I did, I would be happy."

"I didn't understand what he meant, but to be with Lei for the first time, I slowly understood. Everyday as Lei and I spent more time together, in Lei's eyes, I saw myself. The look in his eyes was the same look I had for Tian Li."

"But as Tian Li made me realize, adoration plus respect plus gratitude still doesn't equal love. Love is just love."

-------------------------------

Tian Li stared at Lei, face impassive.

Seven years he was away, seven years he gave Lei the chance to make Jing happy but for someone who claimed he loved Jing, Lei sure didn't make Jing happy at all.

And now, Lei had the nerve to doubt that he really love Jing?

Not meaning to, Tian Li suddenly began to release all the stress of the last seven years.

His voice was ice as cold as from the North Pole.

"Loved her?" Tian Li laughed a little. . . sarcastically. . . "Please Lei, to me, it looked some type of serious infatuation."

Lei's eyes widen but Tian Li didn't let him speak.

"On the other hand, that girl, Ah Si's fiancée, I can say that was love, wasn't it?" Lei stared at him bewildered.

Why was Tian Li putting Shan Cai into this conversation. . . ?

But Tian Li wasn't finished. . .

"When Shan Cai cried, you were there, weren't you? When Ah Si was missing, you were there for her, right? Even when you knew you would get hurt, you continued to stay by her side, always hoping you could ease some of her pain."

"Tian Li-"

"But what about Jing?" Tian Li went on to ask, overriding anything Lei had to say. He stared back at Lei challengingly. "Have you ever tried to do anything for her? After she helped you out of your autism, did you ever really look at her more than an angel sent to especially save you? You were her Lei so sure you probably have deeper feelings for Jing than all those others chasing after her but even with all the good things you felt for her combined, I'm sorry, I still wouldn't call that love."

With his words, Lei felt a sudden lack of air. . .

Meanwhile, Tian Li started shaking as he tried to control his voice.

"Because you know what Lei? If you really loved Jing, you would know that when she was eleven, she cried all night long after her nanny died."

Tian Li's voice rose. . . became more passionate.

"You would know too that it wasn't natural of her to have those perfect scores in school. You would know she had to study for hours and hours, afraid people would get disappointed when she get anything less than perfect."

Tian Li stared directly back at Lei. Lei, tried to hide his trembling but inside he was crumbling. . .

"And Lei, you would know she hated being Teng Tang Jing. . . So what, Lei? Could you tell me again that you really love Jing? Loved her the way I did?"

Lei's only answer was silence.

Without waiting more for any reply from him, Tian Li turned around. He prepared to walk away, knowing Lei needed his time to think. But after taking a step, he stopped. Tian Li felt spiteful but he couldn't help himself from adding softly on.

"Oh, and one more thing, Lei. I never wanted Jing unhappy, I had loved her enough for three lifetimes, but as you have found out yourself, loving someone with all your heart doesn't give reassurance that the person would love you back."

Turning around, Tian Li gave a sarcastic smile, "In the end, I had to give up because all those years. . . no, up until now, there's been only one man in Jing's eyes." Looking straight and directly at Lei, he added, "You."

With that, Tian Li turned around once more. This time, he really did walk off.

As Tian Li walked away, Lei stood on his spot, shaken from the revelations just now.

Suddenly childhood memories returned to him like a flood. Jing hugging him. . . Jing holding his hand. . . Jing smiling at him. . . Jing wiping away his tears. . .

Was it true? All these years, was it actually him taking Jing for granted?

Even her words. . . all these time, he had been deaf to her voice. . .

_"I'm very happy that you're so concerned about me. . . I like you best, Lei."_

_". . . I was just teasing you, it's because you would get this really cute expression. No other girl can take you, because you are _my _Lei."_

_". . . I can't help feeling a little jealous. You are not the Lei that is mine alone anymore."_

_". . . Is it because you're in love with someone else now?. . . "_

_"Right. After Tian Li gives me his gift, the first thing I do is run over to you."_

_"Once. I can truthfully say that in my life, I've only loved just one man. . ."_

At that moment, Lei knew Tian Li was right. . .

He felt like the biggest fool. . .

----------------------------

"I felt like a fool," Jing said, smiling mockingly to herself. "It was like cliché a hundred times over. Tian Li cared for me, loved me. . . I admired him best but I cared and loved Lei instead. I couldn't help thinking would Lei find someone else to care and love too? He believes he loves me but does he really? He doesn't even know me. . . not once had he tried to know. . . "

Wiping the two fat tears rolling down both her cheeks, Jing tried to smile. "That's why I decided to go to France. In a way it was an escape, in a way it was a start of pursuing my dream. I thought maybe if I am away from everyone, it would be easier for me. . . easier to find my own self. . . easier to forget Lei. . . "

"But amidst trying to break away from being 'the' Teng Tang Jing, I still find myself not being able to forget about Lei. Despite myself, I find myself wishing for him to call me. Just once. I wanted him to ask me how I was. . . for once I wanted him to come to me. . . He never did. At the end of the day, I would always be the one calling him, asking him how he was."

Another shaky breath escaped Jing's lips. "Of course because I requested, he would tell me things about him and F3. Foolishly, I would wait for him to ask me too. He never did. . . "

"Jing Xue Jie," Shan Cai whispered. She could feel Jing was almost at her breaking point.

But instead, Jing shook her head, forcing yet another smile on her lips.

"It's okay, it's okay, I told myself. Just because Lei doesn't know me now doesn't mean he can never, right? In my mind, I was planning that when I come back to Taiwan, Lei and I could start over." Jing laughed. "Four years, not once have I returned home, so that time when I was returning to Taipei, I never felt as excited and as scared. Excited because this could a new start for me and Lei. Scared because of what I would find back home. . ."

Jing then turned her eyes directly at Shan Cai who felt a sudden chill.

"And what did I find? You. . . "

-----------------------------

"AH SI!!!"

At his sister's booming voice, Dao Ming Si half-jumped from his bed. He turned to see Dao Ming Zhuang standing in the middle of his room, hands on her hips, eyes flaring.

Gee. It was his first day back at the Dao Ming mansion and his sister was already scaring him away again. What did he do wrong now?

"Jie-"

"After living independently for a while, you sure haven't change your disgusting ways!" In two big steps, she was standing by the bed. She grabbed a shirt that lay limply there.

Shaking the plain white cotton shirt in front of his brother's eyes, Dao Ming Zhuang went on with her rant.

"When you dismissed the maids, I thought you were planning to arrange your own things by yourself!" She gestured around the room. "I came by to see but I see this mess instead! Did you intently do this first to make the cleaning harder for servants?"

Dao Ming Si shook his head vehemently. He really had been planning on arranging his clothes and things by himself, it was one thing he had to learn living the commoner's life; but getting an SMS from Shan Cai about an hour ago, he suddenly got distracted. He must have unconsciously started dumping his things instead of putting them away.

Getting on his feet, Dao Ming Si began to clean up lest his sister decided to do something drastic. Like knocking him out for the next few hours.

Satisfied with him, Dao Ming Zhuang gave her brother a good warning of breaking some of his bones unless he had the room spotless after she return from her appointment with her masseuse.

Dao Ming Si nodded but half of his brain was wondering again already; the minute his sister had the door closed behind him, he stopped from his work completely and fell on his bed, sighing.

He shouldn't really be surprised of Shan Cai's message.

Last night, after he and Shan Cai had his things packed for moving, they had a short moment until an intruder knocked on his door.

Frowning, Dao Ming Si decided Lei wasn't really an intruder. He doubt Lei knew Shan Cai was actually with him last night when he came over.

Since Mei Zuo was too busy with Xiao Qiao and Xi Men too busy with his own problem, Lei probably thought of seeing him. Not exactly to share his problem, Lei wasn't that kind of person to feely talk, but probably just to share a brother's company.

But since Shan Cai was with him, Lei's plans didn't turn out the way he wanted.

The moment, Shan Cai saw the withdrawn look on his face, she started drilling him.

What was wrong? Was it Jing? Jing and Tian Li? Have they made up? Was Tian Li leaving Xiao You?

Truthfully, Dao Ming Si had to cover Shan Cai's mouth to stop her nonsense questions.

After that, the three had sat in silence until Lei excused himself. Shan Cai got a thorough scolding from Dao Ming Si after Lei left. Really, didn't she know when to butt in and when to not?

Last night, Shan Cai kept apologizing, saying she was just worried about Lei. She promised she won't interfere this time but lo and behold, an hour ago, Dao Ming Si received a message from her that she only wanted to ask some things to Jing. She wasn't really butting in this time. . .

Dao Ming Si shut his eyes in frustration. Why can't he be in love with a less stubborn woman?

Sighing, Dao Ming Si couldn't even decide what to feel first for he was feeling a lot at that moment.

Should he be mad? After all the scolding he did last night, she still had to go and put her nose where she shouldn't. And yet, he couldn't feel angry with her because of this. It's because her damn annoying stubbornness only made her even more endearing to him.

So maybe, he should be jealous. But no, as much as he could be in denial, he had already come to terms of accepting how special Lei was, is and will always be to Shan Cai. He understood why Shan Cai wanted to do this. . .

Opening his eyes, Dao Ming Si suddenly understood what he was actually feeling.

Worry. He was worried what Shan Cai would find out. Once part of the Lei-Jing story, surely Shan Cai would be very affected with anything she would be finding out. No doubt she was crying now.

Opening his eyes, Dao Ming Si silently sent a message to Shan Cai.

_I won't yell at you for still butting in this time. . . Stupid woman, just don't cry too much. . ._

_--------------------------------------_

She couldn't seem to stop the dam of tears that were falling down her cheeks. Shan Cai knew Dao Ming Si would hate to see her at such a state as she was now.

"Jing Xue Jie. . . " she didn't even know what to say.

Jing shook her head reassuringly. She helped wipe away the tears from Shan Cai's cheeks.

"You know what Shan Cai? The minute Lei stepped up to help you. . . and in the process defying Ah Si, no less, I knew you were the girl Lei would love honestly." Jing smiled in memory. "Remember when I told you I have a feeling one day Lei would leave me?"

Shan Cai nodded slowly.

"Well, what I didn't tell you what was I never been as convinced until that day. . . until he saved you."

Jing breathed heavily. She closed her eyes, continuing her story. "At the cruise, for the first time, Lei openly told me he liked me. A part me hoped again but I was crushed once more when he refused to understand why I needed to go back to France. Instead, he just let me be. If that's what I want, then that's how it was."

When Jing opened her eyes, her tears started flowing freely. She didn't wipe them off.

"So, I was so surprised when he went after me to Paris. As he stood in front of me, all I could think was maybe he did understand, maybe he did love me, maybe we could truly start. Like an insecure girl, I tired saying your name, waiting for his reaction but his gaze had been steady on mine and I was so happy. Hand in hand, walking around the streets of Paris, I thought that would never end."

"But of course it had to end. As I returned home one night, Lei was already gone, leaving only a letter behind."

Almost angrily, Jing wiped her tears away. "I know Lei must have left because of the rumor about me getting engaged but for once, couldn't he bother asking me? He wants me to go to Barcelona, he said he'll be waiting but didn't he know I had been waiting for so long myself?" Composing herself, Jing added. "Besides I was so tired, so very tired of hoping so I decided to let God decide for Himself. If my and Lei's path would cross again, let's see then."

Jing shook her head. "And what did God planned? He allowed us to meet again, much too soon. . . in Barcelona no less. . . He allowed me to read Lei's letter for Ah Si."

"I cried feeling I was wrong for not coming to see him, my pride got in the way. I was wrong to assume so many things. Tian Li loved me in a different way, but just because Lei didn't I had to assume he didn't love me at all." Jing smiled wryly. "So though I had seen him looking at you. Though stronger than ever, I suspected he had grown deeper feelings for you; it was plain to see you loved Ah Si. So once more, I decided to try. Decided to eat my pride and talk to him. Maybe it was how Fate wanted it to be. Maybe Fate wanted me to be the one to go to Lei." Jing exhaled deeply. "I told him I wanted to return to Taiwan but you know what he told me?" Jing's lips trembled as she spoke. "He told me he didn't care about anyone's business."

"That had been such a slap on me. His world used to revolve around me, though he never made a move to share my feelings, he never rejected when I initiated it either. Truthfully at that moment, I didn't know what was worst: when I realized he saw me as everything but in a loving way or hearing him say I no longer mean anything at all."

A long silence followed. Softly, Jing began to end her story. "That time, even though I didn't have to, I asked him if it was because of you, Shan Cai. He didn't answer but he really doesn't need to, I know him so well. I knew then he loved you, whether he ever really did love me or not didn't matter anymore. He loved you. . . "

Reaching over, Jing touched Shan Cai's hair. "After that ending in Barcelona, I didn't expect to meet Lei again all too soon. When Tian Li called me up in Paris about his wedding, I honestly didn't want to return at first. He had been right in so many things that I didn't want to face him and show that I had been wrong. But Tian Li didn't blame me."

Jing smiled wryly. "I didn't expect Lei to go and see me as well and at first I thought it was pity. But day by day, he surprised me, slowly, he was reaching out to me. But now what? Is he breaking away again? Yesterday, after yelling at me, he just ran out, not bothering to care whether I was crying and maybe needed comfort."

Pulling her hand away from Shan Cai, Jing put them on her lap instead. She lowered her head, knowing the kind soul Shan was, she would probably cry even more if she was the look on her eyes.

"Different people define love in differently; to Lei, love is understanding. He understood you, Shan Cai. With me, he never even bothered." Looking up she tried to laugh jokingly. "I guess it's hard to be perfect, everyone assumes you don't need anything."

Jing was trying to make things light but Shan Cai felt her heart breaking for Jing. . . felt her heart eating with guilt. . .

Adoration plus respect plus gratitude still doesn't equal love. Love is just love.

That was what Jing said about Lei's feelings. Without saying so, Shan Cai knew Jing also knew that she was guilty of the same mistake.

She once thought Lei was her gallant prince charming and she had liked her dream so much, she had hurt the girl who truly loved Lei.

"Jing Xue Jie." Shan Cai couldn't seem to stop her tears. She can't even remember when she had cried as much.

Smiling weakly, understandingly, Jing touched Shan Cai's hair again. Shan Cai remembered how Jing once, almost three years ago when Jing said she liked her hair. . .

That time she couldn't understand how someone as beautiful and as perfect as Teng Tang Jing could like her ordinary hair. . .

"I told you before but I really do like you Shan Cai. You're the girl I've always wished I was."

So ironic, Shan Cai thought. Because once in her life, more than anyone else, she wanted to be Teng Tang Jing.

Wiping away her tears, Jing added wryly.

"I like you and it pains me because the more I know I like you, the more I understand how much Hua Zhe Lei really likes you too."

Yes. Truly ironic. . .

For the next hour, nothing else was heard from Jing's room but the sobbing from the two.

---------------------------------

This chap(esp the explanation part of jing and lei) is a bit based from HYD manga's Hanazawa Rui's line about Shizuka that goes like _"I didn't differentiate love from adoration." _Let me tell you guys, I cried buckets when I read that coz my writing style(as much as I try to change) is always based on canon. I guess when I love a story so much, even the details I hate, when writing, I can't seem to have the power to change them. Weird because that's the sense fanfiction, having the privilege to turn the original story to your own liking. sigh I'll stop now, I'll ramble more in the next chap.

Also, credits to Miracle. It was on her fic that I first found out Rui Hanazawa being orphaned by his mother at a young age. I thought of adapting that in here, after all we never got to hear anything about Lei's mother, so I wont be contradicting MG either, right?

**Next chapter:** While Lei tries to deal with Tian Li's revelations, Tian Li began to doubt his own feelings as well, so then what would happen when in the end they both realize the same thing? Between the Japanese expressions of love, 'suki da' and 'aish'teru' where is the difference? Find out next chapter **Between Lei and Jing**.

**AN:** I know this would sound a bit conceited but I love my own words. _"Adoration plus respect plus gratitude still doesn't equal love. Love is just love." _smiles I feel proud for those words. Anyways, go ahead and flame me guys I know I deserve it. But I'm still hoping you guys still don't hate me that much after this chap, but if you do. . . well just go easy on the flaming okay coz I've yet to get my first flame. . . Hehehe

Anyways, just a question to those who said one time or another in the story that Lei deserves someone who would love him first above all, what do you guys think of Jing now? Hehehe, I wouldn't blame you if you think of reconsidering but then that means xy-tl, doesn't it? hehehehehe. Comments please!!!


	14. Between Lei and Jing

AN: Thanks, guys. I really thought I was going to get flamed for my very bad chap last time. . . but you know what? I'm still hot. . . I may not have been flamed but I was burned. . . oh what am I saying? I saw Come To My Place for the first time and seeing Jerry and that Valen Hsu in THAT way had traumatize me(sure, sure, my mom, my aunt and I were all drooling seeing jerry's back but still. . . ), so sorry if the chap turned out a little weird. . . and I guess, a little too dramatic. . . sigh I just found out my crush, my very first crush in the world, my crush when I was just six is getting married!. . . I still like him a lot and so now I feel like ximen. . . sigh

**lostbeauty:** i know, i just realized that every character in MG seemed to'respect' or 'admired' jing because she's a great/perfect woman. i for one, dobelieve no one's perfect so that's how i also came up with this story. hehehe.thank you very much for reading.

**I-Smiles-U: **thank you. enjoy the rest of the story, please!

**Disclaimer:** You guys should know by now that I don't own MG/HYD coz if I did, be assured I would have kept DMS/Doumyoji to myself and would never have shared him with you, guys. (Am I selfish or what? Muhahahaha)

This chapter is dedicated to my (ahem) Jerry Yan. A belated birthday gift. . . (pa-feeling close! hehehehe). Also, this chap's dedicated to my net sis Dana. I love her work, please do read it too!

_"There's a difference between giving up and letting go. Giving up is sacrificing what is rightfully yours; letting go is foregoing what was never really yours from the start."_

------------------------------------

Chapter 14: **Between Lei and Jing**

**"**I hate him. I hate him. I REALLY HATE HIM!"

Dao Ming Si rolled his eyes as Shan cai continued pacing around one of many living rooms in the Dao Ming mansion. For the last few days, she did nothing but rant. With all her pacing, it was a wonder that she had not yet burned a hole into the floor or with all her shouting, broke any of the crystal vases.

Very patiently, Dao Ming Si walked up to his fiancée and tried to gently take her in his arms. For a moment, she tried pulling away but she quickly relaxed and buried her head deep into his chest.

Stroking her hair, Dao Ming Si started carefully. "Shan Cai, we've been through this. How can you say that? You don't mean that. You know you don't really hate Lei."

Shan Cai's head snapped up and she glared dangerously at Dao Ming Si. "Of course I mean it!" She wrestled his arms off her. "You ask me what's there to hate? There's a damn whole lot of things to hate!"

She began pacing again, this time with strides more powerful.

"First, he was a blind idiot! He had hurt Jing so much! Made her wait for a long time!"

Dao Ming Si cringed at that. With a pang, he remembered the time how he unconsciously hurt and made Shan Cai wait too.

"Second, he's a damn coward, where in hell is he now?"

Dao Ming Si could only shrug. That's the mystery they've been trying to find out for days now.

Five days ago, Shan Cai came running to Dao Ming mansion crying. Helplessly, Dao Ming Si could only hold her in his arms, waiting for her to calm down. But she couldn't stop crying as she explained the situation about Jing. Listening to what Shan Cai had to say, Dao Ming Si silently asked forgiveness to Jing. F4 considered themselves good friends of her but not once did they know a thing about this either.

Then to add injury to insult, the following day Lei had suddenly gone missing. Xi Men told them about Lei seeing his brother the day before he disappeared so Shan Cai and Dao Ming Si came to a conclusion that Lei must have confronted Tian Li. In the heat of discussion, he must had found out the truth too.

But what did Lei when given the situation to choose again? Instead of coming to see Jing, asking forgiveness and another chance, he chose to run away again. Now, he's been gone for four days; each day Shan Cai couldn't help getting more and more infuriated.

Dao Ming Si's eyes followed Shan Cai as she cursed away. He understood how upset she was. Deep inside he knew it was because Shan Cai couldn't help feeling a little guilty.

"It's not your fault."

His voice was so very soft it was wonder how Shan Cai heard it with all the ranting she was doing. She stopped and turned to him.

Dao Ming Si smiled gently at her. "It's not your fault," he repeated, eyes so warm Shan Cai's suddenly felt tears forming in her own.

"I-"

In the next second, Shan Cai felt herself enveloped in Dao Ming Si's strong arms. How she loved being in his arms. When he held her like this, it was as if he was protecting her from getting any pain.

Cliché. That's what Jing had used to describe her history with Tian Li and Lei. Tian Li loved her. Though Jing had put Xi Men Tian Li in the highest pedestal, she still chose to love Lei instead.

Cliché. That must what Lei had felt after finding out the truth about Jing's feelings. Though Jing meant his world that wasn't enough to be called love, he chose to love _her _instead.

Shan Cai buried her head deeper in Dao Ming Si's chest. Hua Zhe Lei had once meant the world to her too. When he saved her from those boys, those times when he had let her sit next to him, unconsciously she began building him as larger than life. . .

Cliché. Now that was what Shan Cai felt too. After Lei's confession, she could only reject him, because though she had used to dream about him before, her heart beats only Dao Ming Si's name now.

And now, she felt guilty. . . just as Jing must have felt guilty rejecting Tian Li before, just as Lei must felt guilty rejecting Jing, Shan Cai couldn't help feeling guilty. But Shan Cai's only consolation now was at least, even rejecting Lei she still had Dao Ming Si by her side.

Jing on the other hand had no one. . . Lei had no one. . .

"I just want Jing to be happy," Shan Cai finally whispered. "I want Lei to be happy. . . "

Dao Ming Si stroked her back. "I know."

So maybe her reason was a selfish one but truthfully, at that moment, there was nothing she hoped more to see Lei and Jing together. So what if one loved the other more? Shan Cai hoped Lei would chose to take the happiness that was presented to him now.

Didn't he himself told her before when Dao Ming Si still had amnesia that the past was just the past? Wasn't the present more important in helping of making other memories for the future?

_Where are you Lei?_ Shan Cai couldn't help asking in her mind. _Jing needs you. . . _

"Ssshhh, it's okay, Shan Cai," Dao Ming Si said into her ear. He looked down at her. His eyes were full of understanding as he smiled. "I'm sure Lei just needs some time to think. . . "

-------------------------------

"Isn't it about time you went back home?"

No response. Instead the zombie-like guy only continued eating his crushed ice.

"You know even in the city, you could still have crushed ice, so even though my crushed ice is good, that couldn't possibly be the reason why you're here."

Still no response. Ah Mei was getting annoyed.

"Hua Zhe Lei! You've been in this town for four days, I said isn't it about time you went back home?!"

Very slowly, Lei lifted his head from his precious ice. "Girls shouting at their customers. That's not very cute."

Ah Mei huffed. If he thought he could use his cute speech on her again, he was dead wrong.

She sat in front of him. "Your friend called a while ago. He asked me if you're here." She stared back at him defiantly. "I didn't deny it."

Lei sighed. He knew he would get found soon, actually it was a wonder they haven't found him earlier. "Friend?" He thought about it for a while. By gut instinct, he knew who Ah Mei was referring to. "Ah Si?"

Ah Mei nodded. A look passed in Lei's eyes.

"Don't worry, he promised he won't tell Shan Cai. He said, Shan Cai's all too high, her mind's thinking properly and she hasn't even guessed that maybe you could be in here. He said he'll cover for you until you decide to come back." Ah Mei stared questioningly at Lei. "What happened?"

Lei sighed. It was obvious why he was here. He was hiding, just as Shan Cai decided to hide months ago.

Realizing he wasn't planning to speak anytime soon, Ah Mei decided to go on herself.

"It's Teng Tang Jing, isn't it?"

Surprised, Lei turned his head towards Ah Mei. His actions only confirmed her suspicion.

"How do you know about her?"

Ah Mei shrugged mysteriously. Without a word, she got up and went upstairs. After a few minutes, she came back with newspaper clippings in hand.

They were all about Jing. Some were endorsements. Some news. Ah Mei took the latest picture and gave it to Lei. It was in the airport after Jing came back from Paris last December.

"It turned out Luan, Da Da's friend had a thing for her for some years now. Two months ago when she came back, she was featured in local paper here. He was surprised that your name was mentioned in passing. He showed me his collections of newspapers clippings of her." Ah Mei took another newspaper clipping and handed it to Lei.

A lump formed in Lei's throat. It was a picture of him and Jing dancing on her 24th birthday party.

"Stupid Luan. He said no wonder you looked so familiar."

Lei forced a smile but he couldn't pull his eyes from the picture in his hands.

"You know what I thought when I saw that picture?" Ah Mei interrupted Lei's thoughts. "I thought that at once this girl liked you a lot. And not because you said she was cute, not because you didn't have a girlfriend, not because she thought your hands were beautiful. She loved you, it was the real thing."

Lei closed his eyes. He knew that now. Ironic, how someone who didn't even know Jing saw it when he couldn't before. Ah Mei saw the torment within him.

But she wasn't enough. Lei told her once that if she hadn't ask about Shan Cai, he would not realized by himself that he had fallen for her. Maybe this time, Ah Mei could to that again.

"Remember when I told you that you can't find the answer in the sea? You find your answer in your heart." Ah Mei breathed deeply first before continuing, "I don't know what's bothering you so much. But you can't fool me, I know you really like this girl so what if you were so intent looking at her eyes to her heart, you failed to realize her heart was already in her eyes? That doesn't mean you can't start over."

Lei opened his eyes. Gravely, seriously he began, words so very soft. "I do like her Ah Mei, she was the world to me. But now, I don't know-"

"Stupid!" Ah Mei suddenly said, interrupting Lei. He turned to Ah Mei, there were hint of tears in her eyes.

"Didn't you tell me before that there's always a second chance? You told me I should give Ah De a second chance, I did. Now, he's become even better than I had ever wished for."

Her words were like lightning unto Lei's soul. Ah Mei was right. What was wrong with him? He liked giving advices but he never did follow them. . .

Yes. He did say everyone deserves a second chance. . . he did say love comes from understanding. . . he did say, never give up so there would be no regret. . .

It looked like he never really completely recovered from his autism. All this time he was living in his own world, observing the outside. . .

But yes, it didn't mean he can't start over. . . This time around, maybe he could do it right. Maybe if let himself give himself and Jing another chance. . . maybe then he can learn to love her properly. . . so maybe then, there would be no regrets. . .

For the first time in what seemed like years, Lei smiled. Months ago, Shan Cai hid in these town to escape the past and Dao Ming Si. . . But Fate had other intention. . . When Shan Cai was faced again with the meteor ring, she knew she couldn't run. . .

This time it was Lei who wanted to hide and escape. . . But once more, Fate was refusing. . . Through Ah Mei's words, the reminders of the past, Lei knew he couldn't run away. . .

Years ago, he told Xi Men and Mei Zuo, he was letting God's hands decide his fate with Jing. . . Now, that God and Fate was giving him a fresh start, there's no reason why not to take it. . .

"Thank you, Ah Mei," Lei said. He reached out and patted Ah Mei's head.

She glared at him. "Let me tell you, if you're thinking that I still like you, you're wrong! I'm with Da Da now."

Lei laughed. Taking another news clipping, he stared intently at the picture. It a short-haired Jing who was leaving for Paris. Lei remembered how he went after her that time; how for the first time, he fought for what he felt. Because he didn't give up, they got to share the most wonderful time of their lives.

He reverently caressed the photo.

_We can have that again, Jing. . . and this time, I'll never run away. . . this time, I promise the happiness would never end. . ._

_----------------------------------_

"She adores you, you know?"

Surprised, Tian Li turned to Xi Men.

"What did you say?" Tian Li asked, his voice so distant and strange.

Xi Men and Tian Li had been hanging out on the balcony, sharing a drink when suddenly Xiao You appeared below with three maids at her heels. Standing from the balcony, Tian Li and Xi Men got a great view of her as she cheerfully took some roses from the gardens.

To Xi Men, it felt like he haven't seen Xiao You in years. Ever since their talk five days ago, he had been avoiding her. . .

Seeing her again, Xi Men suddenly forgot the resolve that he told Mei Zuo last night. But as he continued watching her - his eyes practically asking her to look up and see him – he was thoroughly disappointed when instead of catching his gaze, Xiao You only saw Tian Li who was standing next to him. She waved at her fiancée, smiled at him sweetly and deliberately ignored the person next to him.

Feeling a knot on his stomach, Xi Men spoke up but his words seemed to have shocked his brother.

But why? He thought it was quite obvious.

"I said, Xiao You adores you," Xi Men said, trying to keep his voice light. He forced a smile on his lips, "You should feel very lucky."

But instead of looking lucky and happy, Tian Li kept staring at Xi Men in a weird way. After a while, Xi Men got uneasy.

"What is it?"

Tian Li kept silent. He made a turn to shake his head but suddenly he asked out.

"Ah Lang, tell me honestly do you like my fiancée?"

It was a good thing Xi Men had already swallowed his wine. If not, he would have choked to death.

Why was Tian Li asking such an obvious question? Surely, he knew the answer already. But then again, maybe Tian Li wasn't actually asking what he felt, maybe he was actually asking what he planned to do with his feelings.

Tian Li's question reminded Xi Men of the decision he told Mei Zuo last night. . .

To F4, their bond was that more than of friends. They were like brothers; and to Xi Men, the blood he shared with Ah Si, Mei Zuo and Lei was thicker than that of his natural-born brother, Tian Li.

Staring back at his brother, Xi Men wondered when was the last time he took time to actually just hang around with his brother like this? He remembered how caring Tian Li had been towards him when he was really young. His brother gave him everything.

Xi Men Corporation, for example. Even though through Ah Si's demand, Tian Li had 'given up' his claim since he was young, technically he was still the rightful heir. Only when he ran off when he was nineteen did the title was officially passed over to Xi Men who was fifteen then.

There were a lot of other things Xi Men could think of Tian Li sacrificing for him. If between F4, Ah Si was the one who always got what he wanted; between Xi Men and Tian Li, it was always Xi Men who got what he wanted.

So maybe that was one reason why Xi Men arrived at his decision. It was time he set aside his selfishness and gave his brother what he wanted.

Of course aside from the fact that he knew Tian Li could be the only person who could honestly make Xiao You happy. . .

Back into the present, Xi Men forced a smile. "Before you went away, you used to asked me about how I felt for Xiao Gen," Xi Men replied, changing the subject. "I would always tell you she's just a friend."

Tian Li didn't protest with Xi Men's changing the topic. He only nodded for him to continue.

"As you must know already know Tian Li, I realized too late how much I actually like Xiao Gen." Staring directly back at his brother, Xi Men bravely went on. "Through that, I should have learned my lesson."

Xi Men sighed, he turned away from his brother and went back to watching Xiao You.

"I lost Xiao Gen because I didn't admit my feelings when I had the chance. Now, I've already gotten over her but stupidly, I repeated the same mistake."

Silence. Long silence.

"And now, again, I lost my chance my chance with the girl I really really like, Tian Li."

Though Xi Men didn't directly answer his brother's question, he hoped his brother understood that he couldn't answer so otherwise. The situation was too complicated and that was as close as he could confess of the truth. Xi Men knew his brother would understand what he actually wanted to say anyway.

And that was that he did liked Xiao You. . . but he knew it was already too late. . . .

Tian Li did understood. He smiled sadly and turned to watch Xiao You too.

The two Xi Men brothers stood beside each other silently, both watching the same girl. Sibling rivalry could never be as intense as it was at that moment.

Finally putting on a smile, Xi Men turned to his brother and raised his wine glass.

"Cheers. For my brother who is getting married in ten days."

Tian Li smiled and clicked his glass with Xi Men's. "Thank you, Ah Lang."

Xi Men nodded then sipped his wine. Shan Cai and Ah Si would kill him when they found out his decision but Xi Men was already sure about it just like he told Mei Zuo.

And now that he had somehow told his brother about it already, it was truly official. . .

He was giving up on Xiao You. . .

-----------------------------

"MEI ZUO, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY TO SHAN CAI?"

Ling Mei Zuo winced as Dao Ming Si's voice boomed from over the other line.

"Ah Si, lower the decibels, will you? I can hear just fine, you know."

"Fine my butt, Mei Zuo! Shan Cai's paler than a ghost right now! If anything happens to her, I'm going. . . "

Mei Zuo couldn't help grimacing at Dao Ming Si's threat but he couldn't blame him though; the last few days – with Lei's disappearance and all - had been so very stressful to Shan Cai, he wouldn't be surprised if Xi Men's news had pushed Shan Cai over the edge.

Last night, Xi Men asked him for a drink. Being the good brother he was, he sacrificed some time he could spend with Xiao Qiao to help Xi Men in his obviously hard time. With Xiao You's wedding less than two weeks away, Mei Zuo expected Xi Men to be all violent and depressed. Ironically, Xi Men wasn't any of that. Very calmly, he told him that he had decided to give up on Xiao You, as she seemed much in love with his brother. And with the wine clouding his logical mind, a sympathetic Mei Zuo volunteered in telling Shan Cai and Dao Ming Si of his choice.

But now, after just having told Shan Cai about Xi Men's decision, Mei Zuo had to wonder whether Xi Men added some spell into his drink. Mei Zuo couldn't understand how he ever wanted to be part of this.

From the other line, Shan Cai had probably fainted. And as consequence, he now had to face Dao Ming Si's wrath.

At least until Shan Cai regained consciousness – he would definitely be hearing a mouthful from her. . .

As if on cue from the background, Mei Zuo started hearing Shan Cai ranting, something about pighead four as stupid, backless, annoying. . .

And as he listened more, he could imagine Shan Cai wrestling the phone from Dao Ming Si.

"Let me talk to him, Dao Ming Si!

Sound of a punch.

"I'm going to kill Xi Men!"

More punches.

"DAO MING SI!!!"

"I'll talk to you more later," Dao Ming Si's voice hastily said into the line. Without another word, Dao Ming Si hanged up on the call. Mei Zuo was left there with mouth agape.

Shan Cai and Dao Ming Si. Those two crazy people, could anyone be more compatible than them?

Shaking his head, he took his phone away. Turning to his side, he tried to put on a smile.

"That bad?" Xiao Qiao asked concernedly.

Mei Zuo nodded. He opened his arms and Xiao Qiao took his invitation. She let her head fall upon his chest as his hands went around her. They kept silent for a while, letting their hearts beat together as one.

Finally Mei Zuo decided to end the silence. "Well, actually, I can understand how upset Shan Cai is. Xi Men got me drunk yesterday so I didn't realize how bad the situation is." He looked down at Xiao Qiao, "But really, he can't just give up like that!"

Xiao Qiao's eyes flickered with emotion. "Mei Zuo, I understand you guys want Xi Men to be happy but shouldn't we let Xi Men, Xiao You and Tian Li decide for themselves this time?"

Mei Zuo's small eyes got even smaller. "What do you mean?"

Xiao Qiao shrugged. "I mean if Xiao You loves Tian Li then we can't change that. Xi Men already did his best, maybe it's time he gives up."

This time, Mei Zuo's eyes went as large. "You can't mean that! Whatever happened to your 'fight for your love' motto?"

Xiao Qiao sighed as she pulled away from Mei Zuo. Yes, it would be hypocritical of her to say Xi Men should give up on his love when for ten years she had held unto love herself.

But. . . how does she put this delicately? She didn't want Xi Men Tian Li to get hurt either.

Xi Men may be Mei Zuo's friend and so he was her friend too now but she had been more friendly with Tian Li for years. It wasn't wrong if she would want the best for him too, right?

Xiao Qiao shrugged her shoulders helplessly. "Look, Mei Zuo don't take this the wrong way but I'm sorry but Tian Li's my friend too."

Mei Zuo gaped at Xiao Qiao. So was this a battle of sides now? So what if Xiao Qiao is friends with Tian Li, the point was Xi Men and Xiao You should be together. That's just it.

"No," Mei Zuo said assertively. "It should be Xi Men and Xiao You. They met first, Tian Li should just let go."

Xiao Qiao frowned. "No, Tian Li has been hurt before; he deserves this happiness. Xi Men should give up."

Once more, Mei Zuo and Xiao Qiao's pole opposites personalities were showing. Having different groups of friends led them to contrary bets between the Xi Men-Xiao You-Tian Li love triangle.

After staring defiantly back at each other, the two began to laugh.

"This is silly," Xiao Qiao said, shaking her head, her long hair dancing gracefully with her every movement.

Mei Zuo nodded. "I know." He pulled Xiao Qiao towards him, letting her get comfortable on his chest. "It's not for us to decide who should give up or let go, it's Xiao You's decision."

Xiao Qiao nodded. "You're right. I just wish she would make the right choice and soon I hope. It's ten days before the wedding."

Mei Zuo sighed. Yes, though it was up to Xiao You, Mei Zuo couldn't help wondering how hard this must be in Xi Men. Shan Cai had twice went through seeing Dao Ming Si engaged to someone other girl – who were her friends as well - but never had she been this close to the real day of 'I do's.'

Mei Zuo sighed, stroking Xiao Qiao's back. For sure, the situation was killing Xi Men inside - not only was the girl he loved marrying someone else in ten days, it just had to be his brother!

As for, Mei Zuo couldn't even imagine what he would do if he was in Xi Men's position. He would probably go insane at the mere thought of Xiao Qiao married to someone else. It only led him to be more sympathetic for his friend's case.

"Why can't everybody be as happy as we are?" Xiao Qiao asked softly as if reading his mind.

"I don't know," Mei Zuo sighed. He looked down at Xiao Qiao and tipped her head towards him. God, he would never let anyone take her away. "I guess not everybody can be as lucky as me."

Even to Mei Zuo's own ears, he knew that had been cheesy but it didn't matter as Xiao Qiao smiled happily at him.

He leaned over and gave her a kiss. He pulled back and smiled gently at her.

"But seriously, I guess all we can do now is pray that they could be too."

------------------------------

"Xiao You, are you alright?"

Shaken out of her reverie, Xiao You turned to her right where her fiancée sat, looking at her worriedly.

She forced a smile. "Of course, why wouldn't I be?" she answered, keeping her voice casual and light.

"I don't know," Tian Li started, voice sounding a little strange. "Maybe because you've been glaring at Ah Lang and Xiao Gen for a while."

Xiao You's eyes went large as saucers. Did her fiancée just said what she thought he said? And so casually too.

Guiltily, Xiao You averted her eyes. Actually, Tian Li was right. Ever since dinner, ever since Mrs. Xi Men had arrived to dine with the family, Xiao You had not been herself. How could she when Tian Li and Xi Men's mother just had to bring Guo Xiao Gen with her?

She saw it all. Saw how Xi Men's eyes widened in surprise at the sight of Xiao Gen. And all throughout dinner, he kept stealing glances at her. Xiao You had never felt as annoyed before.

Days ago, she and Xi Men had that small talk in her room. After both apologizing, obviously it meant the end of the book for them. For the first time since she came back it was Xi Men who kept his distance away. Xiao You knew she should be happy, after all wasn't that what she wanted from him?

But the way Xi Men refused to meet her eyes. . . his cordial voice when speaking to her. . . his excuses to stay away from her. . . they were making Xiao You crazy. . .

It was almost as if he had truly given up. . .

And now. . . Xiao Gen was here, Xiao You couldn't help watching Xi Men with her. After dinner, they went off to the corner of the living room, talking and laughing together. Xiao You kept thinking how happy they looked that she can't even pull her eyes away from them until Tian Li interrupted her thoughts.

"It's not what you think," Xiao You whispered. She knew it sounded lame and weak.

Tian Li didn't say a word. After a while, he still refused to say anything so Xiao You was forced to look up at him.

"Tian Li-"

"Xiao You," he went right on, cutting her off. "Honestly, I don't know what to think." Tian Li sighed, running a hand over his hair. "But you have been staring at them for the longest time." Turning away, Tian Li stared to the direction of Xi Men and Xiao Gen. "So if helps at all, Xiao Gen is engaged herself. Didn't you hear when she mentioned it at dinner?"

Xiao You stared at Tian Lim surprised. Why was he telling her this? And why did her heart suddenly felt lighter?

"Tian Li, I-"

"Ah Lang's over her too," Tian Li went on, overriding Xiao You's voice. He turned back to her. "Ah Lang confessed it to me himself just this afternoon." Tian Li stared deeply into Xiao You's eyes. Stared so long and deep, Xiao You felt a sudden chill. "He even added he likes someone else now."

Too thick. Suddenly the air was so dense, Xiao You couldn't breath.

Noticing her discomfort, Tian Li gave a smile. All the weird look in his eyes disappeared as he tried to smile reassuringly.

He kissed her forehead. When he pulled back, – as if nothing was said – he said nonchalantly.

"I'm just going to get us some drink." With that, Tian Li got up and walked towards the kitchen.

Alone on the loveseat, Xiao You couldn't help wondering what was going on behind her fiancée's mind.

All the times, he saw her with Xi Men before, he had been understanding. He kept his smiles and said he trusted her. . .

But this time, there was something different in him. . . Not that he sounded distrustful but more than suspicion, it was as if he was provoking her. . . encouraging her. . . pushing her towards Xi Men. . .

Raising her eyes, Xiao You unconsciously found her eyes wandering again towards Xi Men's direction. . .

She found him already staring at her. The look in his eyes said so much. . .

The next thing Xiao You knew, she even try to stop the electric shiver that went down her spine. . .

--------------------------------

_I'm going crazy, totally lunatic._

Holding a glass in his hand, Xi Men Tian Li half-considered splashing himself with the cold water. He felt like he was in a nightmare. A nightmare, he definitely wanted to end as quickly as possible.

_She adores you, you know?_

Ah Lang's words had been like cold water running down his back. The force of his words reminded him of Xiao You's words. Words right at that moment he tried to shrug off.

_My, you are so conceited. . . but I think you have every right to be._

_You're perfect, you know that?_

It was his biggest fear materializing in front of him all over again. He tried to push it aside but seeing Xiao You longing gaze towards his brother's way only confirmed his fear even more.

_No, it can't be. . ._

Tian Li stopped, a sharp little knife seemed to be twisting in his heart. He would be deliberately trying to be blind if he would say Xiao You's yearning eyes didn't mean a thing.

For he had seen it way too many times before as not to recognize those looks. . .

Seeing Xiao You looking at Ah Lang like that, Tian Li could almost imagine Jing looking at Lei. . .

Suddenly at the thought of Jing, another knife twisted in Tian Li's heart, causing an old wound to bleed again.

Ever since his confrontation with Lei, he had been unable to keep Jing, the past and all pain he had gone through off his mind.

He couldn't help wondering if he had been right to leave Jing. . . maybe if he didn't let go so easily, maybe Jing wouldn't have been so hurt. . .

But he had always thought Lei could grow out of his infatuation to truly make Jing happy one day. . . He thought after telling Lei the truth, Lei would decide once and for all. . .

But what did Lei do? He escaped. . . again, he decided not to face his own feelings. . .

And because of it all, once more Jing was left broken and hurt. . . Like a never-ending circle of doubts, Tian Li had to ask himself whether his decision to so easily give up his love for her had been right.

But he was getting married – in ten days to be exact – it really wasn't time to go back to the past and start doubting his decisions.

And as he entered the living room again, he silently walked over to his fiancée and gave her a drink.

She smiled, all traces of the previous pining in her eyes for his brother were gone.

But Tian Li wasn't thinking about her and Ah Lang as much as he was thinking about Jing and Lei.

_. . . I never wanted Jing unhappy, I had loved her enough for three lifetimes, but as you have found out yourself, loving someone with all your heart doesn't give reassurance that the person would love you back. . ._

Those words kept repeating in Tian Li's mind – forbidden as they were – Tian Li couldn't help himself.

_Oh Jing, why couldn't I be the one to make you happy?_

_-------------------------------------_

_Jing, I'm here at our_ _playground. I need to tell you something, will you come and meet me?_

Lei. Ever since that day he ran out of her room, Jing never heard from him again. And after she confessed to Shan Cai everything, she had been half-expecting not to hear from him for a while. She couldn't blame Lei if he decided to break away completely. Though it hurt, Jing decided to accept it when Lei's sudden disappearance.

But now, Lei was back and wanted to see her.

Should she go? She was afraid to. This was the first time they'll face each other after the truth was let out, she was afraid to hear what Lei had to say.

But. . . wasn't her biggest mistake from the past was not going to see Lei when he asked her to? She lost her chance when she didn't come and see him in Barcelona at that time, now, if she didn't go and see Lei, she could even lose their friendship.

She didn't want that. . . at the very least, she wanted to salvage some of their relationship. . .

Breathing deeply, Jing began to climb downstairs. She suddenly stopped before reaching the bottom of the grand winding staircase.

"Lei. . . "

From the foot of the stairs, Lei turned around. He smiled.

"Jing."

There was something different in him, something that sparked some the last remains of hope in Jing's heart.

Trying not to show any signs of weakness, Jing climbed down the last few steps. She stopped beside him.

"Why are you here? Didn't you say, meet you at the playground?"

Lei shrugged. He stared at her for a while before suddenly taking her hand to his. Jing was a little surprised at his touch. Not cold this time but warm. . . so very warm. . .

"Let's go," he said.

Without another word, Lei pulled Jing outside and towards his car. Jing expected that Lei was going to bring her to the playground, instead he drove right to Ying De. Many a student's eyes went wide as Lei and Jing passed them, hands clasped together. Even as they began whispering, Lei never let go of Jing's hand.

Only when they reached the rooftop of Ying De's main building did Lei let go of Jing. They stood in front of each other with eyes locked. The late winter breeze blew quietly upon their hairs and faces.

Lei could only silently staring at Jing. He had never been so happy as much as he did a while ago when she appeared at the stairs. It was wrong for him to test her. . . but she actually chose to see him in spite of everything that has happened.

Finally, Lei broke the silence that hung between them. "When I asked you to come to our playground, you actually decided to come?"

Jing nodded – that's all Lei needed - before she could say another word, Lei hurled her towards him. He quickly had his head buried into the curve of her neck, his arms wrapped tight around her.

"Lei-"

"I'm sorry. So sorry for everything."

The dam of tears suddenly began for Jing. Rain of tears fell from her eyes down her cheeks and into Lei's hair, cheeks and neck. Lei pulled away. Very gently, he began wiping away each of her tear. It only made Jing cry more.

Looking down at her, not a cell in Lei could doubt he loved this woman. Sure, it may not have been as compassionate or as sacrificing as his love had been for Shan Cai, but Lei knew it was definitely love nonetheless.

He smiled at Jing, his heart had never felt as light. "The Japanese language has basically two forms of love. Suki and ai. Suki is strong liking and deep affection, while ai is the deeper kind of love. Did you know that?"

Jing shook her head. She stared back at Lei, eyes questioning and hopeful.

"Suki da," he whispered, answering Jing's unspoken question before leaning to kiss her. It was just a slight touch of the lips, Lei quickly pulled back and looked deep into Jing's eyes.

"Suki da," he repeated. "Suki da, Jing."

This time, the tears that escaped Jing's eyes were of joy.

"Oh, Lei. I love you too," Jing whispered. She wrapped her arms around Lei's neck. "I love you so much," she said, her cheek against Lei's shoulder.

Lei held her closer, running his fingers on her fragrant hair. Lei felt his own eyes watering. As his first tear fell, Lei softly asked.

"Remember what I told you the last time we were here?" Lei kissed Jing's hair, stroking and caressing. "Didn't I say we could always create other good memories?" Through her sobbing, Jing managed to nod. "I really wanted that then, I still want in now, Jing. If you let me, we could spend the rest of lives creating other good memories."

Cupping Jing's face, Lei stared pleading into Jing's eyes. "Please let me; give me another chance, Jing. I promise I'll never run again, I promise to make you happy." As impossible as it was, Lei pressed her even closer, his eyes shone with determination. "I promised to understand you this time and then one day, surely I could say 'aish'teru' instead of 'suki da'."

Overwhelmed, Jing could only smile. At that moment the last few years of heartbreaks disappeared. Feeling Lei's heart beating so fast and steadily against her own, how could she not but believed him?

She touched a finger to Lei's lips. "I guess you know I couldn't resist you anyway so fine, you're forgiven," she whispered softly, teasingly. Taking her finger away, she replaced it with her lips.

It was the first time she had ever kissed Lei. It felt so right. She pulled back and brushed some hair away from Lei's forehead. Then she suddenly turned serious eyes on him.

"But it was not all your fault, Lei. I had some of my own too. When I didn't come in Barcelo-"

Lei shook his head, interrupting her. "Let's forget all about that, okay? Let's just start over. Like that time we had in Paris, I promise we'll make many many happy and beautiful memories; but this time it won't ever end."

Jing smiled at his words. "Thank you, Lei," she whispered. She leaned her head on Lei's neck. She never felt so happy at that moment.

"And I believed you, I know you'll keep your promise." She closed her eyes, her heart filling with even more love for Lei. "I know we'll stay together forever."

--------------------------------

**Next chapter: **Now that Lei and Jing are together and Xi Men has given up, why are Tian Li and Xiao You hurting? Between wanting to move on and clinging to the past, will they be able to ease each others' pain? Find out next chapter, **Between Forgive and Forget**.

AN: Here is the part where I ramble on again. . . hahaha, anyways hope you guys like Jing and Lei's 'start.' Actually next to DMS-SC, I'm a Lei-Jing fan, so deciding to have them together was no torture at all. If anything, I actually had wracked my tiny little brain to find a way to get them together. Hehehe. I'm a Lei-Jing advocate, I'm proud to be one. Hehehe. Anyways, I really like this chap, hope you all will too. Advance thanks for all comments, curses and compliments.

Ohhhh wait, I was thinking now that I'm improving a little in the 'creative' department in writing; so now can someone criticize me on my grammar? Is it passable? I think I'm quite bad at tenses. . . please tell me if there's anything wrong, I'm very much willing to improve. Thanks in advance!


	15. Between Forgive and Forget

**AN: **Wow. I'm so happy, you all agreed Lei and Jing should be together. Anyways, this chapter has the second biggest turning point of the story(next chapter would have the ultimate shocker), so do enjoy reading!

**piglet**: as i've said i'm a lei-jing fan. besides i dont really see jing as such a bad person, as i've said before too, i write base on canon. and the canon i know and understand is jing is a great girl. hehehe. . . so you're starting to pity TL? hehe, but f4's happiness over his first? hahaha. well, it's just 3 chaps to go. just a lil more wait. thanks for always reading!

**lostbeauty:** you like alternative couples? sorry to add this but do you watch fushigi yuugi and like yui/nakago then? how about ruruoni kenshin? how do you see tomoe/kenshin then? hahaha. dont mind me. i'm just rambling to myself again. heheanyways, thanks for reading! pls enjoy the few remaining chaps.

**Disclaimer:** Nope, I'm afraid my 50 pesos wouldn't get me as far as to own MG/HYD. I will keep you posted on if ever I win the lottery enough for me to buy it off.

This chapter is dedicated to xiao yue. In her comments, she inspired me to write a funny scene here. Just read the sc-dms with lei part.

-------------------------------

Chapter 15: **Between Forgive and Forget**

Mystified, Xi Men Tian Li could only stare at his blank canvas before him. It was barely nine in the morning and he had been up for a few hours and been trying to paint ever since yet he have not even made a single stroke.

Tian Li frowned. He couldn't seem to decide what exactly he wanted to draw. A part of him willed to draw something beautiful and peaceful but another part wanted a gloomy and lonely theme.

Perplexed, Tian Li put his brush away and leaned back on his seat. He had always said artists use their work to tell the world of his emotions; maybe that was what was his problem now.

Day by day, he has been growing more and more confuse. Confuse over the situation with his fiancée and his brother. Ah Lang had indirectly told him he has given up already, it should make things better for him and Xiao You but it was the exact opposite as Xiao You seemed to be finding out how much she wanted him not to give up. . .

It was unfair of him to think such things and yet, he couldn't help himself. It was painfuil. So very painful.

Taking in a deep breath, Tian Li took the brush again to try to paint again. But as he turned back to his easel, he involuntarily shivered. The easel and tripod set was a gift given to him by Jing so many years ago on his fifteenth birthday.

Hand shaking uncontrollably, Tian Li put the brush away again. Another thing he was getting confuse about.

Jing. Everywhere he turned lately seemed to remind him of Jing. The mansion's corridors, hallways. . . everywhere he was haunted by ghosts from the past.

In their garden where they used to play, he remembered how Jing once had an uncharacteristic klutz attack and almost tripped, good thing he caught her in his arms. . .

Even this art studio itself. So many memories were made here, like those times he would paint her. Or even those times he would be as daring steal a kiss from her now and then.

And even as he thought of all these, Tian Li could almost envision Jing in front of him like she used to before posing for him.

Tian Li closed his eyes, trying to push that vision off his head. It was no use.

As no matter how much he tried he can't get her out of his mind. He kept thinking how she might be doing. Lei had disappeared days ago, surely it had affected her greatly. So was she crying now? Was she wishing she never went back? Was she wishing she chose him instead?

As if doused with cold water, Tian Li stiffened at his own thoughts.

Why was he torturing himself with these thoughts? Whether Jing wished she loved and chose him instead, there was no reason for him to ponder about it now. He was getting married, he was in love with someone else. . . wasn't he?

Before he even knew what he exactly he was planning, Tian Li took out his phone and dialed Jing's number.

He haven't seen her or even talked with her for days. Ever since that time he went and kissed her at her home, he made himself not see her at all for a while.

But now, he suddenly had this biggest need to see her. . . or just hear her voice.

After what seemed like forever, the other line picked on.

"Wei?" a sleepy yet distinctively male voice answered.

Tian Li, whose lips were already beginning to smile at the prospect of hearing Jing's voice, suddenly stopped.

"Lei?" There was incredulity in his voice. He didn't know Lei had returned, but more importantly, why the in the world was he with Jing at nine in the morning? Then collecting himself, he tried to keep his voice casual in asking, "May I speak to Jing?"

There was a slight pause. "She's still asleep, Tian Li." Tian Li could imagine Lei yawning from the other line. "Is it important?"

"Yes. . . " Tian Li answered before he could think. He wanted to talk to Jing to know maybe if she needed comforting but obviously Jing wouldn't now. After all there could be only one reason why Lei was with Jing now. They had resolved the things between them.

Trying not to show the sudden pain in his voice, Tian Li could only mutter out simply, "But now I understand it doesn't matter anymore." Without missing a beat he told Lei he'll just call Jing later. Before Lei could make any response, he hang up.

Teng Tang Jing and Hua Zhe Lei. Finally they were together. In a way, it was his undoing that had kept them apart in the past. And now, somehow he played a part of getting them together.

If he didn't request that Jing come back from France, Lei and Jing might not have come close again.

If he had not vented out his frustrations and let Lei find out about the truth, maybe he would still be shadowed by misunderstandings and cowardice.

Sitting alone on his studio, Tian Li suddenly felt claustrophobic. He quickly rose out of the room before more of his ghosts that haunt this special art studio caught up with him.

Walking down the same hallways he grew up in, Tian Li couldn't help thinking that his seven years of running away did not do that much good to him. The memories were still so very fresh. . . the pain so raw. . .

Stopping suddenly on his tracks, Tian Li stared at the far end of the hallway where Jing stood talking to Lei.

Another ghost from the past? For a second it really looked so but as Tian Li tried to look closely again, he realized it was not actually the Ghost of Love Past but the Ghost of Love Present.

Xiao You and Ah Lang.

Oh how long can he keep this up? How long can he pretend he didn't care? How long can he delude himself in believing Ah Lang had given up on his fiancée? How long can he convince himself Xiao You's looks for his brother meant nothing?

Tian Li closed his eyes. He was suddenly not so confuse anymore. If only he could go back to the studio then he would draw the darkest, gloomiest, most depressing art. . .

----------------------------

Staring at Jing who was sleeping soundly on the passenger seat, Lei felt a lump form at his throat.

Yesterday afternoon had opened a new chapter in his and Jing's lives. The first thing he did after returning from Ah Mei's town was contact Jing and asked to meet her. Then he surprised her by showing up himself in her house.

After they went to the legendary Ying De rooftop. There, he and Jing declared love for one another and decided to start afresh. After, they spent the rest of the afternoon resolving all the past's misunderstanding. And cuddled together, they talked throughout the whole night almost about anything there could be. Lei had never felt closer to anyone in his life.

Then finally, inevitably an exhausted Jing fell asleep on his shoulder. It was still winter and Jing couldn't help but shiver on her sleep everytime the breeze blew on them. Careful not to wake her, Lei gently carried her down from the rooftop and to his car where she could get a little warmer. Then Lei contented himself watching Jing sleep. He had even actually meant to wait for dawn so that he may thank the angels properly but sometime during the night he had fallen asleep watching her as well.

He was a deep sleeper but just a few minutes ago, he had woken up quickly by a phone ringing. Lei had realized it was Jing's phone and he had stared confusedly at the caller ID. Really, but what could anyone want in nine in the morning. . . ?

He answered it, still half-asleep. At first Xi Men Tian Li seemed to have had something urgent to tell Jing but the next moment Tian Li was making some excuse and was hanging up. Tian Li's weird action was what woke Lei up completely. He didn't even know what to think out of it but a sick feeling of dread formed at his stomach at once. Something in him told him that Tian Li wasn't completely over Jing yet. . .

But Lei was pulled away from his thoughts as Jing slowly stirred. He watched as her eyes fluttered open lazily. Charmingly.

Suddenly Jing was smiling. She reached out to touch his cheek and whisper sleepily.

"I feel like dreaming."

Lei couldn't help smiling at the sight and the comment she made. A whole lot of words could describe Jing's attractiveness but at that moment Lei could only think of her as cute. Yes, her silly words were definitely cute.

"Morning to you too," he said, smiling wider. He reached to brush some lose strands of hair from face. "And this isn't a dream either," he said teasingly. Then kissing her forehead first, he locked eyes with her. "At least not anymore," he whispered, voice so serious and intent.

For a while they stayed like that, smiling and staring at each other. Finally after some time, Jing broke their stare to stretch out a little. She could only do so much though in the confined space of Lei's car. Once more Lei couldn't help smiling amusedly as he watched Jing try to stretch her long legs. She failed miserably.

Finally after a few more tries Jing gave up her futile attempts. She leaned back on her seat; suddenly that's when she noticed her opened purse on top of the car's dashboard. She closed it up first before she turned to Lei.

"Why was my purse opened?"

Her question made Lei stopped. For a second, he wondered over if he should tell her about Tian Li and his suspicion. He really didn't want to dampen the good mood between them but in the end Lei realized if he and Jing really wanted to start anew, there should never be any secrets between them again.

Without flinching, Lei stared back at Jing. "Tian Li called a while ago."

Jing was obviously confused. "Tian Li?"

Staring back at Jing, Lei knew his next words would be hard on Jing but he had no choice but to be honest with her.

"Jing," he started tentatively. "I think Tian Li still likes you."

Eyes wide, Jing shook her head repeatedly. "That can't be."

After the whole night of talking about themselves, Lei understood perfectly how Jing felt. After her rejection of Tian Li in the past, Lei knew all Jing wanted now was to see Xi Men Tian Li happy. So if Tian Li still liked her, how could he be happy? Especially now, now that she was officially with Lei?

Very gently, Lei pulled Jing towards him. He ran his fingers over and over through her hair soothingly. When he felt Jing completely relax in his arms, he began to speak again.

"Jing, I know this is hard on you" he started, "but remember I saw Tian Li kissed you." His words caused Jing to stiffen again in his arms. Lei pulled away so he could lock eyes with Jing. "Somehow, it must mean something."

Jing didn't speak, she bit her lips so very nervously. After a while, she sighed.

"Actually, you might be right." She stared anxiously back at Lei, "What do I do?"

Lei smiled. "We, Jing. What do we do." He kissed her right cheek. "We share everything now, remember?" He then proceeded in kissing her left cheek. "I know it's hard but if he really does still like you, just remember I'm here to be with you, okay?"

His affectionate voice, the look in his eyes and the sincerity in his actions made Jing smile. Lei's words suddenly made everything lighter for her. Yes, as unthinkable as it was; even if it would come to the point that she would hurt Tian Li again, Jing knew at least now, Lei would be there to help her through.

"Thank you," she whispered. She leaned forward and rested her forehead on Lei's neck. "Thank you, Lei. Thank you."

-----------------------------

Qing He stole a glance at her. Ever since she gave him that small kiss on her birthday, Qing He couldn't help noticing Mi Mi more and more each day.

He had already decided she was cute. Definitely. Not as cute as Shan Cai of course but he guessed Mi Mi had her won kind of cuteness.

She's not a sleuth either. By a mile not as hardworking as Shan Cai but Mi Mi knew what she had to do to support herself.

Watching her profile carefully, Qing He decided it wasn't so wrong if he really was starting to get fond of Mi Mi. Starting. Just Starting. The biggest part of his heart still belonged to Shan Cai.

But Shan Cai was getting married, in less than three months she would be a Dao Ming; Mi Mi on the other hand was very much available.

But Mi Mi had just about turned like what? Nineteen? He at twenty-two might be a little too old for her.

But then again Xi Men Tian Li, almost twenty-seven, was engaged to Xiao You who was eight days still short of turning twenty-two.

Qing He sighed. He knew he was just finding excuses not to like Mi Mi, after all he had liked Shan Cai all his life - had liked her even before he knew he liked girls - it would be some adjustment on his part to direct his affections to some other girl beside her.

But as Mi Mi turned to him to stare at him so openly, Qing He knew with all his heart Mi Mi liked him. Just as Xiao You had liked him, it was plain to see how much Mi Mi did too.

It would be too harsh for him to break her heart, Qing He thought. Xiao You was his friend and it had been hard for him to reject her; Qing He knew it'd be even harder for him to reject Mi Mi who had grown even closer to him even more than Shan Cai through these past few months.

Maybe he should give Mi Mi a chance. She was really cute after all.

"Mi Mi," Qing He started. "I have something to tell you."

She was still staring at him but she didn't seemed to hear him.

"Mi Mi," Qing He tried again. Still no response, like a statue she only continued staring.

Qing He frowned. For a girl who was supposed to be in love with him, Mi Mi sure wasn't giving him proper attention.

He took her by the shoulders, pushing the sudden thought of how small and delicate she seemed out of his mind. He shook her gently. "Mi Mi, Mi Mi," he called her, trying to get her out of wherever dreamland she had gone.

Very slowly, Mi Mi's eyes turned to focus. Her heart skipped a beat when she realized how close she suddenly was to her dearest Qing He.

"Yes, Qing He Senior?"

Qing He scowled down at her and as he released his hold on her shoulders, Mi Mi felt thoroughly disappointed.

Qing He, who had realized that Mi Mi hadn't actually been looking at him but behind him, turned to look for himself. "Forget him, don't you see he has a girlfriend?" he asked as he turned back to Mi Mi. His voice showed how much he was annoyed.

Mi Mi was quick to realize how Qing He had misunderstood things. "No, no!" she admonished, shaking her head. She pointed a few feet behind the couple Qing He had mentioned where a black Mercedes was preparing to leave.

"I was actually looking at that black car. You see Qing He Senior, I am almost positive that the car is Hua Zhe Lei Senior's."

At her explanation, Qing He didn't understand why he suddenly felt a little happier. Turning around, Qing He gave the black Mercedes a look-over. He couldn't help rolling his eyes in exasperation then. Mi Mi surely could be a little slow on the brain department at times. The car looked like all other black Mercedes in Taiwan.

He shook his head at Mi Mi. "Mi Mi what makes you think that was Lei's? Every F4 member has like six to seven cars each, even I their fifth member wouldn't be able to distinguish all of those cars, how could you?"

"But-"

"No buts, Mi Mi," Qing He took in a deep breathe. "Now listen carefully to what I have to say. I think you'll like it." He smiled, a cocky smile than would have put Dao Ming Si's own cocky smiles to shame.

But once more, Mi Mi wasn't listening. Instead she suddenly grabbed Qing He's arm and started pointing towards the car that was now driving away.

"Look, Qing He Senior, it is Hua Zhe Lei Senior!"

Annoyed at being interrupted with his important speech, Qing turned to look again.

"Mi Mi, I told you it can't be Lei. He has disappeared and-"

But before Qing He could say more, he stopped suddenly as his eyes caught sight of the car's driver. It was indeed Hua Zhe Lei!

"Hua Zhe Lei!" Qing He shrieked out as he jumped to his feet in excited fashion, breaking the hold of their hands. He quickly searched for his phone. "I need to tell Shan Cai!"

Mi Mi only nodded. Shan Cai Senior had been searching for Hua Zhe Lei Senior the last few days; she definitely should be informed that Lei had returned.

"Ah yes, Shan Cai? This is Qing He," Qing He was saying into the other line. "I'm here at Ying De and I just saw Lei. . . Yes, I'm sure it's him and hello. . .? Shan Cai?"

Taking the phone away from his ear, Qing He got a very comical expression on his face. Obviously, Shan Cai had hang up his call the second she found out Lei has returned. For sure she was now on her way to Dao Ming mansion before marching towards Hua Zhe mansion to give Lei a good scolding.

It was a bit depressing though. How everyone else could occupy all of Shan Cai's mind when he can't even hold her attention for more than five seconds.

Mi Mi watched a defeated Qing He sat back down next to her. A long silence enveloped them before Mi Mi cheerfully cut it.

"Ah so, what is it that Qing He Senior wanted to say?" she asked.

Qing He turned to Mi Mi. She really was a nice girl, she was obviously only trying to cheer him up. She couldn't have possibly guessed what he was trying to say a while ago, right?

And her innocent eyes proved this but still, a rush of hot blood flowed into Qing He's face.

"Eh nothing," he said. Trying to hide his red face, Qing He hastily got up.

"Come on, Mi Mi, you'll be late for your next class." Like the true gentleman he was, Qing He offered his hand to help Mi Mi on her feet. "I'll bring you to class," he added.

Mi Mi nodded happily and Qing He felt his face reddened even more. And as Mi Mi eagerly placed her hand on his, all thoughts of Shan Cai and all the sad feelings were chased away from Qing He's heart.

_I guess she's really cute. . ._

_------------------------------------_

"Hua Zhe Lei, open up! I know you're in there!"

"Shan Cai-"

Dao Ming was quickly silenced with Shan Cai's steely gaze. He shut his mouth up and let her continue her rapping on Lei's bedroom door.

Turning back to Lei's door, Shan Cai's knocking became louder.

"Hua Zhe Lei, I said open up! I know you've returned! Qing He saw you!" Still there was no response from inside the room. Shan Cai's patience ran out much too quickly. In one swift motion, she pushed the door open. She never did care about manners anyway.

"Hua Zhe Lei!" she hollered as she entered the room. Dao Ming Si followed closely behind her, sighing at his girlfriend's barbaric nature.

A red-faced Shan Cai marched towards the bed where a figure was obviously sleeping comfortably.

"Hua Zhe Lei, get up now, you have a lot to explain and-"

Everything else Shan Cai was to say died on her lips as her eyes fell upon the face of the person sleeping soundly at the bed. It wasn't Lei. It was-

"Jing!" gasped Dao Ming Si from beside her.

Still confused and disbelieving, Shan Cai glanced at her fiancée. His crimson face revealed that she really didn't imagined what she thought she saw.

Teng Tang Jing was really sleeping on Lei's bed.

On Lei's bed. That part just couldn't register properly on her mind.

Dao Ming Si seemed to be having problem with it as well. His face kept getting redder and redder by the second.

Jing was laying on her side with Lei's Japanese silk sheets drawn up to her shoulders; the thing you would quickly noticed was Jing's face - her face that had content and happiness written all over it.

"Jing. . . why is she sleeping in Lei's bed?"

Of course, this was from Dao Ming Si so that was meant to be a very innocent question; so he was very confuse how Shan Cai suddenly gave him a hard elbow on the ribs. She glared threateningly at him.

But before he could ask what he said that was wrong, a voice interrupted them.

"What are you two doing here?"

Shan Cai and Dao Ming Si quickly turned to their right. Standing by the bathroom door was Hua Zhe Lei, an amused twinkle in his eyes and a happy smile on his lips.

"Lei!" Dao Ming Si and Shan Cai said simultaneously.

Lei raised on eyebrow. "Yes?"

At once, you could feel something different in him. To Dao Ming Si, he looked absolutely, utterly, sickeningly – as Xi Men would use it - in love.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Shan Cai asked amazed, confused and bewildered.

Lei smiled slightly. "Um, I lived here."

That snapped Shan Cai out of her trance. She frowned at Lei, annoyed.

"I know that!" She strode purposely towards him and began pushing at his chest with her pointer finger. "I mean, what are you doing here after disappearing just like that?"

Lei's eyes widen seemingly in fright. He should be; after days of frustration, Shan Cai was even worse than a madwoman right at the moment.

"I needed time to think," Lei whimpered. He turned pleading eyes to Dao Ming who only shrugged.

After days of having Shan Cai take her frustration out on him, Dao Ming Si decided it was only fair Lei take Shan Cai's anger alone this time.

"Sure, you did!" Shan Cai continued in her angry voice, forgetting about Jing who was still sleeping. "You could have at least told us where to find you!"

Lei gulped; wow, Shan Cai was really really mad. "Ah Si knew. . . "

"WHAT?" Shan Cai swiveled around towards Dao Ming Si's direction. "You knew about this and you didn't tell me?"

"Er, I. . . " Dao Ming Si stammered. Damn. Now he's in trouble too.

"WHAT?" Shan Cai's voice reverberated clearly throughout the whole room.

"Shan Cai, please," Lei said wincing. At the rate the situation was going, Jing would wake up soon. He can't let that happen, she was still probably tired. "My girlfriend needs her rest."

Magic words. Shan Cai and Dao Ming Si turned to him, gaping like fishes out of the water.

"Girlfriend?" Shan Cai didn't know whether she heard that right. Could it really be true? Had Lei and Jing really resolved their problems?

Now that her anger had been momentarily forgotten, Shan Cai remembered how she clearly saw the happiness and love in Lei's expression before she had started scaring him.

She began to smile. "You two have made up? Everything's fine between you and Jing now?"

When Lei nodded, Shan Cai couldn't help the triumphant shout that escaped her lips. She threw her arms around Lei who was taken completely surprise with her action.

"I'm so happy for you! Oh Lei, I'm so happy for you and Jing!"

Shaken out of his initial surprise, Lei returned Shan Cai's hug. "Thank you, Shan Cai."

Watching them, Dao Ming Si could feel himself smiling as well. Three years ago, he would have thrown a fit with simply seeing Lei standing a meter from Shan Cai, but everything was different now.

Even seeing them like this, he can't even feel the tiniest bit of jealousy, how could he when their faces showed nothing but pure, honest and platonic friendship? Just as it was always meant to be from the start.

But seconds ticked by, still Shan Cai stayed in Lei's arms. Dao Ming Si felt his smile fading.

He coughed. The kind of cough that's purely meant to catch someone's attention.

Hearing Dao Ming Si's obviously disapproving cough, Shan Cai quickly pulled away from Lei. They stared at each other for a second before bursting out in laughter.

When two people who once had feelings for each other could hug, look at each other like this and not blush, obviously it meant they had completely moved on with their own lives.

Have forgiven and forgotten completely.

With that thought in mind, Shan Cai happily walked back beside Dao Ming Si. They don't even need words between them now so even without speaking Shan Cai wished Dao Ming Si understood that she was just happy for Lei and Jing. He smiled, he did understand. He pulled her to him and pressed a kiss on her forehead.

They were so lost in their own worlds that they didn't even notice Lei walking up and sitting on the bed beside Jing until he shook them out of their reveries by speaking suddenly.

"Ah Si, thank you too. For everything," he was saying. "Thank you for believing in me and being a great example."

The expression in Dao Ming Si's example couldn't be dumber.

"Huh? Lei, what example are you talking about?"

Lei laughed. He glanced at Jing first before turning back to him. "Never give up. Your motto on love, right?"

Dawning in understanding, Dao Ming Si nodded. "Of course, I am a man of si-sense, after all."

Beside Dao Ming Si, Shan Cai tried to stifle a giggle at his near-slip up again. He gave her a silencing look before smiling at Lei.

"I'm happy for you too, Lei." And he was; he was very happy that his best friend finally could get his chance of happiness.

Lei only nodded, he was reverently caressing Jing's face. Even in her sleep Jing smiled, responding happily to his touch.

They looked too close already, Dao Ming Si decided. It was weird seeing Lei like this. It was like Lei has already forgotten he was not alone in the room.

He was being very open with his affections for Jing too. Dao Ming Si remembered how it had taken him months before he had the courage to touch Shan Cai in front of F3; but now Lei was being like this. And to think Lei just said he was his example? Hah! He was acting more like Mei Zuo or Xi Men. . .

At the thought of those playboys, Dao Ming Si was suddenly horrified. Appalled, he remembered _those things_ Mei Zuo and Xi Men had been trying to coach him and Lei for years.

"Eh! But you guys didn't-"

With a pillow thrown at his face, Dao Ming Si never got to finish his question.

-----------------------------

"You're lucky I don't have some other plans. What kind of guy are you anyway? Changing a date in a minute's notice?"

Xi Men smiled sheepishly. "You'll get over it." His smile became teasing. "And this isn't exactly either."

Guo Xiao Gen glared at her obnoxious childhood friend. "You know that's not what I meant, Xi Men."

Xi Men only laughed.

Here they were, Xi Men Zhong er Lang and Guo Xiao Gen having lunch together after so years. They even haven't seen each other until two nights ago when Mrs. Xi Men invited her mother and her over for dinner. She had been worried in seeing Xi Men again at first but in the end she decided to go through it. In the end, she was happy she did. She and Xi Men had talked a lot after that dinner, though they didn't dare discuss about their past, at least being able to talk to him with so much ease, Xiao Gen understood how much she really had moved on. She felt nothing like aching for Xi Men anymore but just some fondness, as he was still her first love.

"So," Xiao Gen asked as she slowly chewed the sushi in her mouth. "Why the sudden change of plan anyway? You were the one who asked me for dinner but suddenly you don't have the time after only two days?"

Xi Men didn't answer for a while. Putting on a smile, he answered simply. "I promised to eat dinner at home."

Xiao Gen raised an eyebrow at him. There was something he wasn't telling her. "You promised?" Xi Men nodded casually. "Who? Xiao You?"

The blush that tinted his cheeks betrayed Xi Men's nonchalant exterior. Xiao Gen frowned.

"Xi Men Zhong er Lang, tell me honestly, do you like Xiao You?"

No answer. Xi Men simply took a small sip from his tea. Xiao Gen watched him carefully. There was a time she was so sure that Xi Men felt something for her too. She was almost eighteen back then during that incident with the playing teddy bear and her head almost hitting the table and stuff. Flitting seconds when he caught her in his arms and stared so long and deeply in her eyes, she was positive there had been a spark more than friendship flickering in Xi Men's eyes.

But Xi Men could have been given the middle name 'Stubborn.' Xiao Gen knew Xi Men would never go and do something even if he did feel something, that's why she tried to do the first move. But as she told him in her letter, when he didn't show up that day on the rooftop, it had been her 'very moment.' She understood she must have been fooling herself. Maybe it was only in her imagination the glint in Xi Men's eyes.

But two nights ago, Xiao Gen saw him looking at Xiao You. Compared to the stares she got from him before, the one he gave Xiao You were more intense, it was so full of yearning Xiao Gen had felt a chill.

Could it be true? Has Xi Men Zhong er Lang finally lost his heart only to get broken by having the mistake for falling for the girl his brother was marrying?

Or could there was more to the story? Xi Men's reputation as a playboy has gone bad for sometime like two years now, maybe Xiao You had something to do with it?

Xiao Gen took a deep breath, there was no point of wondering about all these by herself, she should just as Xi Men directly.

"So do you like her? What is it between you and Xiao You anyway?"

Still, Xi Men remained silent but Xiao Gen was persistent.

"Xi Men, I'm asking you if you like Tian Li's fiancée."

The mention of his brother caused Xi Men's eyes to glint with something Xiao Gen didn't exactly understand. She was about to ask him about it when suddenly he cut her off.

"I've already given up."

Such simple words yet Xiao Gen froze by the meaning of it.

"Given up? So you do like her?" she whispered.

To her surprise, Xi Men nodded. He forced a smile. "Yeah, I've liked her for a long long time but I never had the courage to do anything."

His words made Xiao Gen shiver. Xi Men was looking at her so intently; it made her think he wasn't just exactly talking about Xiao You. . .

"Did you know that you were the first girl I had liked, Xiao Gen?" he asked right on cue.

Once more, Xiao Gen was very surprised. She stared at him for a while before shaking her head.

"I wasn't so sure." Her voice came out low and hesitant.

Xi Men tried to smile. "But you are," he said. Their table was completely silent, both didn't know what to say next. Sighing Xi Men broke the silence. "I guess we can't avoid it anymore. We should just come clean with everything." Taking a deep breath, he added. "I'll go first."

Running a hand through his hair, Xi Men started. "We grew up together, Xiao Gen. Aside from F3, you were my only friend, I guess because of that I didn't realize my feelings were growing something else." Xi Men sighed. "Or maybe I was scared. You know how much I hated the situation between my mom and dad, I guess I was thinking without real commitments, I couldn't possibly hurt anyone so I continued with my one-week policy."

Xi Men smiled wryly. "I cared for you and I didn't want to hurt you, so I decided not to see you on that day in the rooftop. I couldn't possibly hurt you if I stayed away right? But when you showed up later and I saw you crying, I knew I had still hurt you. But I kept thinking that was better."

Xi Men lowered his head, unable to meet her eyes. "Remember when I told you about my 'very moments', I actually lied. My very moment was that day a few months after we parted ways and I saw you together with a guy. Because I was stupid and a coward, I lost my chance. I can never change that."

Xiao Gen smiled wryly. Actually he was right. Even if he did something back then, Xiao Gen wasn't sure whether she would have accepted him.

"Forget about it, Xi Men. I'm okay now." Xi Men looked up to her and she smiled at him reassuringly. She told him about liking him and how she tried to make him admit his feelings but he didn't and she had to accept that. And she did and jokingly she added that if he hadnt broke her heart, she wouldn't have met the love of her life and be so deliriously happy now. She told him the past was just the past. They should move on with their lives.

"Thank you," Xi Men said after her speech. He lowered his head again, seeing Xiao Gen's questioning eyes. He have yet to confess about Xiao You. After some time, Xi Men began speaking again. "It was different with me and Xiao You. I already met her a few times before that time I saw her crying in the streets. For some reason I couldn't stay away from her. I even had the urge to help her. In the end of the day, I managed to take away her tears and even made her smile."

Xi Men smiled at his memory. "Bonded by the common desire to finally see Ah Si and Shan Cai happy, I unconsciously let myself get close to Xiao You. Because of it, I guess she saw right through me. If I could wish a couple all the love and happiness in the world, maybe in my heart I secretly wish the same too."

"She told me she like me but I pushed her away, once again scared I would only end up hurting her. In my heart of hearts, I knew I was starting to like her as well but I couldn't let that happen. Then when she told me she was leaving I found out a convenient way of separation. I have never felt so lonely after she went away though." Another smile graced Xi Men's lips. "But she was persistent, when she came for a visit, she managed to make me open up. I told her about you and I told her my wish to see whatever it is you wanted to show me. Then you know what she did? She helped me find it. When I finally saw your message for me, I hated myself so much for being such a coward but in a way, she helped me move on. For a while, I forgot being scared as I let myself hold her in my arms; but my mistake was in the end, I still let her go."

Xi Men sighed, finishing his story. "While she was away, unknown by everyone, I would think about her. Remember how she could look at me and see within things I tried so very hard to hide. Sometimes, I would even let myself think what may happen if she return again." Xi Men shook his head, "Sad that when she did return, it was to get married. To my brother no less. It's no use, all I can do now is give up."

Xiao Gen sat silent. Her heart went to her childhood friend, but she just had to know one thing.

"But have you, Xi Men? Have you really given up?" That made Xi Men jerked her head towards Xiao Gen. "I don't think you have," she added after a while.

"I-"

"Because if you have then I wouldn't have seen you giving Xiao You longing looks all evening that time. If you have then you wouldn't have been so excited as promising her dinner. I bet your heart filled with hope when she asked you, am I correct?"

Xi Men sighed. The defeated look told Xiao Gen all she needed.

"I'm not accusing you, Xi Men nor am I saying it's wrong. I know you're hurting. I think maybe Xiao You could be hurting too, but please decide soon if you really can give up." She took a deep breath, "Because as I see it now, it's your brother who's heading for the biggest hurt."

------------------------------

"Mei Zuo, where have you been hiding? I miss you."

Blushing from head to toes, Mei Zuo tried to extract the arms that had somehow woven itself around his neck. What was wrong with this girl? She could pass up as a spy; he didn't even notice her until she sat herself next to him and gave him the most suffocating hug.

He should have known going here was a mistake. He was bound to meet an ex-girlfriend or two.

"Lulu, please." He pulled away and nodded towards the girl sitting on his other side. "I'm here with my girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?" Lulu turned to look over and was prepared to introduce herself, she stopped as she realized who it was.

"You!?"

Xiao Qiao tried not to think so much how dismayed the 'you' came out. She forced a smile towards Mei Zuo's number 8 girlfriend.

"Hi, Lulu. It's very nice to see you too."

Lulu ignored her completely and turned to Mei Zuo. "It's been a few months, I haven't heard anything from you so you mean it's still because of matchmaking? There could be no way, _that _girl could really be your girlfriend."

Mei Zuo didn't like that, absolutely detest it. Silently, he made a mental rundown of the scenes F4 had made in VS. Most were fights with some stupid and annoying guys. VS was also made witnessed of that time when Dao Ming Si running away from F3. And there was that unfortunate incident between Xi Men and Ah Si before.

He wondered if F3 would ever forgive him if he lost himself and shock VS by hitting a girl. . . or at least yell his heart out at her.

But with Xiao Qiao's soft hand on his, Mei Zuo tried tto control his annoyance. He took Xiao Qiao by the shoulders, pulled her to him and forced a smile at Lulu.

"This isn't matchmaking. Xiao Qiao and I have been dating for six months now and it's the real thing." He smiled; without hesitation, he added, "We're in love."

Lulu's eyes widen with shock and disbelief. But not one to let herself to get embarrassed like that she gathered her composure and smiled knowingly.

"Oh then she must actually be good at those things then?" The low, suggestive voice made her meaning all too clear.

Mei Zuo was suddenly annoyed again; he couldn't understand how he ever had anything to do with this woman. He obviously didn't know the meaning of 'real thing' and love. He prepared to tell her his relationship with Xiao Qiao was nothing like but Xiao Qiao beat her to it though.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, Lulu but it's nothing like what you're thinking," she started, her smile wide. "Sorry too but Mei Zuo and I are on a date, maybe you could flirt with some other guy besides my boyfriend for now?"

Mei Zuo couldn't help smiling to himself. Xiao Qiao sure knew how to use her mouth. Such smart and flippant words to get Lulu all riled up.

Fighting to control herself, Lulu got on her feet. She turned to Mei Zuo and muttered, "Good luck with her."

After Lulu left, Mei Zuo turned to Xiao Qiao and kissed her forehead. "That's my girl." He smiled at her, "When you answered her like that, I can't help remembering how you did that like before too."

Xiao Qiao returned his smile. "And after annoying Lulu and Gina, you pulled me away, you remember that too?"

Mei Zuo ran his fingers through her hair. "How could I forget? I didn't want to admit it before but I began to like you even more after that."

Xiao Qiao sighed, contented at Mei Zuo's words. She would be lying to say Lulu's presence didn't affect her but Mei Zuo made it clear: he loved her. He didn't even think twice telling Lulu, that alone lightened her mood.

It had been her idea going to VS, in a way she decided it wouldn't kill her to try it out once in a while. Loving Mei Zuo, she should accept everything in him, if she could accept 100 ex-girlfriends, she could accept his keenness to the nightlife as well, right?

Xiao Qiao slightly frowned remembering one of those 100 ex-girlfriends.

"Can't believe you shared bodily fluids with that girl before though."

Mei Zuo's head jerked back with a start and Xiao Qiao suddenly realized she had said her thoughts out loud. She blushed bright red as Mei Zuo incredulously stared at her.

"I mean. . . I. . . " Giving up on trying to make up a lame excuse, Xiao Qiao shrugged her shoulders, "Look, I may be pretty innocent but I'm not naïve. You know that I know about your lifestyle before."

Still shock, Mei Zuo could only stare at her. "I know. . . of course you know just how wild I was before. . . but you aren't. . . ?"

Xiao Qiao quickly understood his meaning and she shook her head. "It feels kinda weird but it's okay, I love you and I'm very happy to hear you announce to the world you feel the same, so it's okay really."

Though touched that she could be so understanding, Mei Zuo still felt a little guilty. Guilty ashamed. Guilty regretful.

Xiao Qiao saw it and pecked his cheek reassuringly. "Hey, don't look like that, I said it's okay, didn't I?" She smiled, blushing a little, "I guess I just had a moment of jealousy that's why I said that a while ago."

Finally letting himself smile, Mei Zuo touched his girlfriend's face lovingly. God. Could anyone be luckier than him?

The next second, he decided a little teasing would ease the still remaining tension between them. Playfully, he leaned over and whispered in her ear. "You didn't have to be jealous though. It had been fun for me, but they meant nothing." Lowering his voice to what he knew was a sexy pitch, he added. "Can't help thinking how much more fun it would be though when I got to finally share _those things_ with the girl I love."

He received a light push as Xiao Qiao turned red again. This newfound openness between them could be a lot fun. It was wicked but seeing how beautiful she looked face flushed, Mei Zuo knew it would be amusing to tease her.

"You wish!"

Mei Zuo couldn't help smiling inwardly. Of course he was only teasing her but yeah, just how he wished. . .

---------------------------

It was very late when Xi Men had parked his silver Benz that night. After his lunch date with Xiao Gen, he returned to work thinking about her words carefully. He felt the biggest selfish jerk in the world then, knowing Xiao Gen was right. As much as he wanted to make himself believe it, he wasn't ready to give up on Xiao You.

He never wanted to give up on her. . .

But he had to, he had reminded herself. So instead of going straight home after work as he promised Xiao You, Xi Men went to have some drink. He had meant to invite Mei Zuo and Ah Si but things didn't go as he planned after he found out of Lei's return. Dao Ming Si had also informed him how Lei and Jing were now an official couple. An official happy couple as Dao Ming Si described.

Hearing about this particular news, as happy he felt for his friend, Xi Men couldn't help feeling a sense of dejection and guilt.

Dao Ming Si had Shan Cai. Mei Zuo had Xiao Qiao. And now, Lei had Jing. He could very well have had Xiao You too but he was so stupid as to let her go before.

. . . He could very well have her too if only his brother could go back to Jing. . .

Deep within his heart, Xi Men knew that was what he was actually silently praying for but of course that was just for his own selfish reasons he knew.

So with Xiao Gen's words ringing inside his head, Xi Men drunk beer after beer because he knew if he pressed on with his selfishness, it would mean another heartbreak for his brother.

With the help of alcohol, Xi Men tried himself to let go. Drink after drink, he promised that he would give up.

He had to give up. He had to give up. He had to give up.

Entering the mansion, Xi Men stumbled on jelly legs. It was almost midnight and so he was very surprised to have run into Xiao You in his way to the stairs.

"Xiao You," her name just escaped his lips. Quickly reminding himself that he was supposed to be giving up, he quickly turned away from her to the man standing beside her. He greeted him as normally as his drunken speech could.

"Tian Li, what's with the look in your face?"

Tian Li gave him a disapproving look. "Ah Lang, you're drunk and you drove home by yourself?"

Xi Men dismissed his tone away. "Aww, don't be silly, big brother. I'm perfectly fine." He stepped forward, his body swaying a little. "I didn't drink that much."

And he really didn't. Seven bottles of beer wasn't much compared how he and Mei Zuo could drink as much ten to twelve each usually.

And so with that, Xi Men proceeded to walk towards the stairs. But he suddenly stepped the wrong way and he almost tripped. Good thing Xiao You was suddenly on his side just in time.

Xi Men turned disbelievingly at her. Xiao You had her arms in his chest and back, supporting him.

What was she doing? Was it even right for her to just leave her fiancée's side like that?

But he wasn't complaining either. Oh how he liked seeing her this concern for him like this.

And as her sweet lavender-scented hair invaded his nostrils, Xi Men lost all control.

"I'm sorry for breaking my promise," he whispered, trying to ignore the fact his brother was just three meters away and could very well hear him and misunderstand things.

Xiao You blushed at that. "It's okay," she answered softly. Forcing a smile, she asked on, "But are you sure you're okay? Do you want me to help you up? You did eat something before drinking, right? You should remember you had an operation just sometime ago, Xi Men."

"Actually now that you mentioned it, I feel kinda heady." It wasn't so much of a lie, having her this concern and worried over him was doing too many things in his body.

Xiao You's eyes widen with much concern. Without thinking, she touched his forehead. "Maybe it's your blood pressure? Your temperature seems okay with me."

Before, Xi Men could answer, he was cut off.

"That's because he's perfectly fine and he's just trying to annoy me."

A shock – and suddenly much much sober – Xi Men and Xiao You turned to Tian Li. His voice had been controlled but the hint of resentment was there.

"Tian Li," Xi Men began, his stomach suddenly lurching in guilt. What the hell was wrong with him? He was supposed to be giving he up! Flirting so openly with Xiao You didn't exactly mark as giving up!

"I'm tired," Tian Li went on, interrupting him. Then Tian Li proceeded walking up past them.

As he did, Xiao You finally called back to him. "Wait, Tian Li." He didn't though, without once looking back he went on to climb up the stairs. In another second, Xiao You made a move to run after him.

But Xi Men firmly held unto her wrist, stopping her. She looked back at him in surprise.

Xi Men knew he was being selfish – he even tired reminding himself that he was giving up but he knew no amount of alcohol could cloud his mind even for a second into believing that that was what he wanted to do.

Truthfully, he didn't want to give up. . . He knew he couldn't even if he tried. . . He stared at Xiao You, silently asking her to give him a sign that what he was doing was right. That he wasn't fooling himself in believing that he actually had a chance that she would chose him instead of his brother.

They stared at each other, Xi Men silently waiting for that sign he so desperately craved.

He got none. Instead, Xiao You pulled her hand away after a while. Very softly, she whispered words he had began to so hate.

"Sorry."

And with that Xiao You ran up the stairs – no doubt to try to talk with Tian Li – leaving Xi Men Zhong er Lang staring blankly at that spot she had just vacated.

----------------------------

Xiao You tentatively knocked on her fiancée's door. It's been an hour since the incident in the living room with Xi Men, she had decided to let her fiancée cool down a little as he obviously didn't sound like himself.

But now standing in front of her fiancée's bedroom door, Xiao You suddenly felt somehow apprehensive. She didn't know what to tell Tian Li. How does she explain to Tian Li things about her and Xi Men when she couldn't even explain it to herself?

Up to now, Tian Li had been so understanding about her and Xi Men. Not once have he been suspicious even after seeing her with Xi Men once too many times. He had only smiled and with so much faith told her again and again that he trusted her.

Truthfully, after these past few days, Xiao You was starting to doubt herself whether she deserved Tian Li's trust.

Xiao You closed her eyes. Like from two nights ago, she saw how much she had hurt Tian Li after he caught her gazing at Xi Men and Xiao Gen. But still, Tian Li chose to ignore it all and pretend as if it was nothing.

But Tian Li seemed to be nearing his limit. Just one more wrong move from her or Xi Men would completely break that trust. . .

And as her fiancée, it was her duty to assure him that what had happened was all a big misunderstanding.

All a big misunderstanding. . .

She was over Xi Men and he had really given up. . .

Closing her eyes, once more, Xiao You rapped on Tian Li's door; when she still got no response from him, she suddenly got worried. She tried the knob. It was unlock.

Opening the door slowly, Xiao You called out her fiancée.

The room was completely thrown in darkness but though Xiao You couldn't see Tian Li, she could make out a lone figure by the bed.

Searching with her fingers through the wall, Xiao You found the switch. She turned it on and the room plunged with a soft yellow light.

At the sight of her fiancée, Xiao You couldn't help but gasp.

"Tian Li!" She ran up to him, sat next to him on the bed and tried to pull the wine glass from his hand. On Tian Li's nightstand was a half-empty bottle of Spanish red wine.

But Tian Li's grip on the glass was firm, Xiao You felt tears come to her eyes.

"Tian Li please," she begged. Oh she hated seeing him this way!

Hearing her sob, Tian Li's half-glazed eyes turned to her. Probably seeing her tormented expression, his hold on the glass loosened a little. Xiao You quickly took the glass from him. She placed it next to the bottle on the table.

Then she turned back to Tian Li, tears were still in her eyes. She saw Tian Li's face softened a little.

"Xiao You," Tian Li started.

She heard the remorse in his voice, he had realized how upset he made her. Xiao You wiped her tears away, "What were you doing? You don't even drink."

At her words, Tian Li suddenly stiffened. He stared at her as if she was a stranger. And to her surprise, Tian Li suddenly pushed her away.

"WHAT? You think perfect Xi Men Tian Li don't even know how to drink? I'm not a sixteen-year-old boy, Xiao You! I'm twenty-six year old grown man and I think I have the right to drink whenever I feel like do so too!"

Xiao You could only stare at her fiancée. She was still reeling from the push he gave her; light as it was, it was just so un-Tian Li like.

"Tian Li-"

He turned his face away but not before Xiao You saw the frustration and anger in his eyes. "I don't really want to talk right now, Xiao You," he said, fighting to keep the anger he felt from his voice.

"But we have to talk!" Xiao You implored, grabbing his hand. The tears were back in her eyes. "Please."

But Tian Li was stubborn, he refused to hear Xiao You's pleas. Instead, he only said softly. "We'll talk, Xiao You. But not now." Slowly turning to her, he added. "When you have really resolved everything with my brother then we'll talk."

Nothing could ever be use to describe what Xiao You felt at that moment. Shame. Guilt. Pain. Remorse. All those black emotions combined.

Maybe she could hide from herself. . . but it seemed she couldn't hide from her fiancée. . .

Maybe it wasn't just Tian Li's trust she didn't deserved, maybe she just simply didn't deserved him.

Of course she didn't deserve him, after all he has done for her, she still had to get confuse between him and Xi Men. . .

After how much he tried to give her happiness, she still had to look for more. . .

After all the pain he had gone through, she still had to inflict him even more. . .

Slowly, very slowly, Xiao You dropped Tian Li's hand.

Backing away from the bed, Xiao You turned around, prepared to run out of his room and cry herself to sleep.

But suddenly, a warm hand grabbed her wrist. So much like the way Xi Men held her hand an hour ago and yet so different as well.

Xi Men had merely tried to stop her, mutely asking her to stay. . .

Tian Li's hold wasn't only asking her to stay, he was pleading with her. . .

"Don't leave me," Tian Li's usual baritone came out very low, husky and pained. "I'm sorry. Really sorry. I was being irrational and it's my fault, I know it is. Please. . . just please don't leave me."

The first few seconds of hearing him sobbing, Xiao You could only listen. Maybe it was because she was too shock or maybe because she still felt so terribly guilty – maybe even both – that she could only do but stand there.

But as Tian Li's cries became harsher, louder, Xiao You felt her own eyes tearing heavily as well.

"Xiao You, don't leave me," Tian Li's voice whispered. Even through all the sobbing in the room, the desperation in his plea was so very evident.

Turning around, Xiao You tried to smile reassuringly at Tian Li.

"I won't," Xiao You whispered before she knew it. She let Tian Li pull her back on the bed and she didn't protest as his arms circled her waist and his wet face buried in her neck.

"Please don't ever leave me," Tian Li begged. His arms went even tighter around her, went as so tight, it began to ache. "I wouldn't be able to take it."

"Never. I'll never leave you," Xiao You promised. At the back of her mind the image of Xi Men's pleading eyes danced but she quickly pushed it all away. She loved Tian Li now.

She loved Tian Li.

"I love you," Tian Li whispered softly bringing Xiao You back to the present time. Tian Li's voice had gone so very soft now, almost dreamlike. . .

"I love you too, Tian Li."

Even through her own ears, Xiao You knew she no longer said these words with as much conviction as she used to. But how she wished she could do so.

But Tian Li didn't seemed to hear her anyway. His eyes were close and he only kept mumbling words – words he was whispering even in his dream.

"I love you. . . I love you. . . I love you. . . Jing. . . "

-------------------------------

**Next chapter:** The pain of rejection is tearing Xiao You apart, but what could happen when her old love tells her the truth about his feelings? Between a bleeding heart and a promise of love, would Xiao You be finally able to choose the right brother? Find out next chapter in **Between Confessions and Tears.**

**AN: **Wow. This is the longest I've ever wrote hehe, anyway I know that was a very very very bad last scene. But you'll get over it, min'na-san. Anyways, I think you guys would be able to guess a little what would happen next but please still stay tune to find out more! I would try my best to make the three remaining chapters(chapter 18 is just an epilogue though) as good as possible. Chapters 16 and 17 would have lots of interesting revelations that you guys might want to know. . . But before all that, please comment on this chapter. Thank you very much in advance!


	16. Between Confessions and Tears

**AN: **I'm sorry this took longer that supposed to. Anyways, here it is, enjoy the chapter!

**piglet:** maybe they will. but there's still a maybe not. thanks for reading!

**lostbeauty: **ohh, ok. haha. sorry for asking such a weird question before. anyways, thanks for reading!

**Disclaimer: **I am still disclaiming MG/HYD.

_"Love isn't about giving up but holding on. Don't believe letting go means you loved best instead fight for your love, that's what true love is."_

_----------------------------_

Chapter 16: **Between Confessions and Tears**

She felt so weak. There was no strength in her arms at all. Her tears came faster, raining down on the face of the man she held in her arms.

_"I love you. . . I love you. . . I love you. . . Jing. . . "_

That's what Xi Men Tian Li whispered a few minutes ago. It hurt so much to hear him say those words. She thought in Tian Li she had found her forever springtime love. A love that would grow more wonderful through the years.

Now, it doesn't seem that way. Slowly she and Tian Li were being ensnarled by autumn. As each day passed, it gets colder and colder. The beauty of a love once so true slowly fading away. . .

Xiao You closed her eyes. She remembered how she first met Tian Li. He came up to her with a big and warm smile on his face. He was such a gentleman. Very sensitive and very sweet. Everyday she got to know him, everyday Xiao You knew she liked him more and more.

In Xi Men Tian Li, she found the love neither Zhong Zi nor Xi Men could give her. Tian Li had loved her for what she was. Unlike her stupid first boyfriend who said so that he found her boring, Tian Li found her very interesting. He had always laughed at her jokes. Many hours they had spent reading books of poems and Xiao You knew Tian Li was sincere when he said he enjoyed it as much as she did.

Unlike Xi Men who seek pleasures of the flesh to pass his time, Tian Li was contented to just hold her in his arms. Unlike Xi Men who she believed can never forget Xiao Gen. . . Tian Li forgot Jing for her. . .

More tears escaped Xiao You's eyes. Were they all lies? Had Tian Li found her uninteresting all this time? Had Tian Li found her unattractive that's why he never did ask for anything more? Had Tian Li never forgot Jing all this time?

And now what? Could she pretend that everything was fine after all these? It would be hard to marry Tian Li now but how could she not even after all. . .

So close. Her wedding day was approaching closer and closer. Everything was set. The reception. The church. The flowers. Her gown. She would be having every girl's dream wedding. . .

She gave up a lot for this too. She stopped her last semester in college just so she could get married. . .

And Tian Li, he may have called another woman's name, but deep inside her, Xiao You knew Tian Li felt something for her. If she leave him, he would fall apart. . .

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted as a soft rapping came through the door. She knew who it was before he spoke up.

"Xiao You?" Xi Men called softly. "Xiao You, are you there? Is my brother okay?"

_Xi Men. . . oh Xi Men. . ._

She balled tighter, pressing herself closer to a sleeping Tian Li. She can't face Xi Men Zhong er Lang right now. If she did, surely she would completely break apart.

"Xiao You, please. . . Xiao You. . . "

There was desperation in his voice but Xiao You didn't answer him. He continued to knock on the door a few more times before he finally gave up.

Hearing him walk away, Xiao You whispered a soft sorry to the man she first loved.

Opening her eyes, she stared at Tian Li. He looked a lot like his brother. In her heart, she knew she do love this man. There was nothing not to love. . .

She closed her eyes, letting the darkness hide her tears. . .

---------------------------

Stealing a glance at the man sitting in front of her, Mi Mi could feel her face getting redder by the second.

After her last class, she was pleasantly surprised to find her dearest Qing He Senior by the room's door. She was even more surprised when a red-faced Qing He asked her out!

"It's nothing like a date _date_," Qing He had gone hastily to explain. "But today is Valentines, so why not?" He was really really red and was looking at the ground. "So what do you say, Mi Mi?"

Of course, Mi Mi had only been too excited to agree. Jumping up in joy, she had not been able to keep herself back from giving Qing He a hug. It only caused Qing He's face redder that even his dyed yellowish-brown hair seemed crimson as well.

The place Qing He brought her was very nice. A newly opened Mexican bistro near Ying De University. Mi Mi was happy that Qing He chose to bring her here; the place was casual, cozy and very quiet. Since it was a new store, the place wasn't as crowded as other stores too. It was a place couples would want to spend Valentines on to have their privacy.

And though Mi Mi knew this was just a friendly date, she couldn't help blushing. Though she had dined and lunched Qing He before, it was always her asking him and never the other way around. Today was very special, not only Qing He was the one who asked her out but also the fact he chose to spend Valentines with her. Though platonic as it was.

"This place is very cool, Qing He Senior," Mi Mi finally said. They've been sitting together in silence for almost half an hour; though still nervous, Mi Mi knew she needed to lighten the awkward atmosphere between them. "Thank you, Qing He Senior. I'm very flattered that you asked me out."

Qing He's face was red again. Mi Mi wondered whether it was because of the chili he had consumed.

Qing He took a glass of water and downed in one gulp. "You don't need to thank me, Mi Mi," he said. "You're my friend, friends eat together, right?"

Mi Mi nodded, taking another bite of her scrumptious spicy Mexican dish. "But I still want to thank you, Qing He Senior. This is the first time I guy asked me out." She blushed as Qing He jerked his head at her. "I know, I know this isn't like a real datebut I'm, still happy because I get to spend Valentines with Qing He Senior."

Qing He studied Mi Mi closely. Never been asked out? She must kidding!

"How could that be possible, Mi Mi?" The incredulity in his voice was very evident. "How is it possible you've never been asked by a guy before?"

Mi Mi's face flushed pink. Qing He couldn't deny how attractive she was especially with her face like that.

"I guess no one found me nice or pretty enough," Mi Mi said in a soft, timid voice.

Qing He's eyes almost popped from their sockets. "NOT PRETTY ENOUGH?" he said, getting the attention of the other people in the room. "You can't seriously think that's true, Mi Mi! You are pretty! You're very pretty." he declared. Eyes glazed he continued, "Like your eyes, they're very pretty. Big and expressive. And your smiles are always cheerful and cute. . . "

Mi Mi sat on her seat, shocked and disbelieving. Did her Qing He Senior really see her that way? Though she always wished he would notice her, she knew it was hard feat considering there were a lot of prettier, older girls in Ying De. Besides didn't Qing He Senior like Shan Cai?

"You're a great girl too," he was saying. "You're smart, diligent, responsible. No guy could not not like you, Mi Mi."

A warm tingling feeling began at Mi Mi's heart. Could it be? Does he mean he too. . . ?

On Qing He's part, he just realized what he had been rambling on. Before he could say and embarrass himself more, he began stuffing his mouth with the rest of his food, welcoming the idea that chili could mask the actual reason of his red face.

"This food is really good," he said between mouthfuls. He stole a glance at Mi Mi. She caught him looking at her. He reddened even more and quickly turned away, eating faster than before. "Finish your food too, Mi Mi then I'll take you home," he said, trying to be casual.

Mi Mi nodded but inwardly smiled. When she told Shan Cai that she wouldn't give up trying so that one day Qing He might appreciate her feelings, her decision was right after all.

Because now, it looked like she was finally getting some appreciation.

------------------------------

"Yu Sao? Yu Sao? Eh, don't leave me alone here with this stupid blindfold."

A few hours ago, Shan Cai had been very surprised to find Yu Sao knocking on their door. The tough old woman said she had just return to the mansion last night. Shan Cai had been so excited to see her and wanted to catch up with her but Yu Sao said their talk would have to wait until later as Mater Dao Ming Si specifically requested her to bring Shan Cai to the mansion.

Yu Sao even said that Dao Ming Si requested Yu Sao to dress her up too. At the back of her mind, Shan Cai guessed he was planning a surprise. It was Valentines after all. Her suspicion was confirmed when they arrived at the mansion and Yu Sao put a blindfold on her. With the stupid blindfold on her, Yu Sao pulled Shan Cai along. But now after entering a room, Yu Sao seemed to have disappeared from her side.

Getting no response from Yu Sao, Shan Cai raised her arms to take the blindfold off. Maybe that was the plan, surely Dao Ming Si knew she wouldn't be able to resist taking the blindfold herself. He knew she hated surprises. When she had it off, she couldn't help smiling though at the surprise that greeted her.

It was completely dark for the room except the lights hanging off from the ceiling. Like the one Dao Ming Si did at the front porch of their house, these lights were made to look like her meteor necklace. Silly Dao Ming Si.

"You like it?" Dao Ming Si's voice suddenly came from behind her.

Turning around, Shan Cai's eyes went wide as saucers to find Dao Ming Si – looking like an angel in a white tuxedo – holding the biggest and most beautiful bouquet of white roses in his hands. Walking up the distance between them, he handed the flowers to her.

"Thank you," she said, smiling. She inhaled, the smell of roses intoxicating her. She turned to Dao Ming Si and teased. "The roses are okay but the meteor necklace idea isn't very original. Hardly a surprise."

Dao Ming Si only laughed. "Who said that was the end of the surprise?"

Shan Cai raised a brow at him. Smiling mysteriously, Dao Ming Si snapped his fingers. Slow, mellow music filled the room.

"Miss Shan Cai, would you give me the honor of dancing with me?"

Shan Cai smiled inwardly to herself. When he wanted to, he really good be a charmer. She pretended to think it over.

"The room's still pretty dark. I wouldn't want you stepping on my foot," she continued to joke. She glanced down at her bouquet. "And what about my roses?"

Once more, Dao Ming Si smiled mysteriously. He snapped his fingers again. Suddenly little by little, the room was filled more and more with light as candles were lighted one by one. Shan Cai's eyes widen in amazement at the perfect picture the room made. Candles everywhere. Balloons by the ceiling. Rose petals scattered all over the room.

And the smell of the scented candles and flowers only helped making Shan Cai feel giddy.

But more importantly, the memories this room held were what was making feel Shan Cai so light.

"Do you realize it Shan Cai?" Dao Ming Si asked, suddenly taking Shan Cai out of her reverie. "Realize where we are?"

She laughed. How could she not? "Of course, you had three men kidnapped me."

Dao Ming Si laughed. Shan Cai couldn't help feeling thrilled hearing him laugh. Just like everything about him, his laugh was deep and infectious.

Still feeling a little heady, without words she let one of the servants take and put her flowers in a small table a few meter from them. As all the servants excited through the doors that was when Dao Ming Si stepped even closer to Shan Cai and encircled his arms around her waist.

"I guess you thought of everything. Very good," she whispered, putting her arms around his neck.

Dao Ming Si laughed, pressing her as close as he could. "Of course, I'm a man of sense."

Her head resting on his shoulder, Shan Cai smiled. Very contented and happy, she closed her eyes as the two of them swayed slowly to the music.

"Yeah, I guess you are," she said. Shan Cai watched her and Dao Ming Si's reflections from the walled mirror at one corner of the room.

They looked nothing like the Dong Shan Cai and Dao Ming Si from before. There was no trace in her face that indicated she was that angered girl who threw a shoe on the great Dao Ming Si. Shan Cai smiled. And truthfully, Dao Ming Si couldn't be the same guy who tried to win her affections by saying: "I'll let you hang around with me."

As if reading her mind, Dao Ming Si pulled away slightly so he could look into her eyes.

"I didn't know how to handle my feelings then," Dao Ming Si half-explained, half-laughed. "I guess I couldn't admit I was starting to like you, that's why I said those words before." He held her tighter. "Forgive me?"

"It doesn't matter, Dao Ming Si," Shan Cai said. She smiled at him and leaned her head on his chest again. She laughed, "It's not like I didn't do my share of driving you through the wall myself." Dao Ming Si joined her laughter then after a while, they grew silent. They then stayed there quietly in each other's arms.

"Are you happy, Shan Cai? Do you like my surprise?"

Raising her head up, Shan Cai was about to answer yes but Dao Ming Si started speaking again.

"I hope you do," Dao Ming Si said yet his lips weren't moving.

A look of confusion crossed Shan Cai's eyes. "I don't understand. . . "

Dao Ming Si blushed but he kept his silence.

"I know you must be confuse," Dao Ming Si's voice came again. "But I want to be honest with you, unlike that first time we were in this room. But I don't know how to say the things I have to so I decided to record them."

Shan Cai raised an eyebrow. Dao Ming Si only kept staring at the ground.

"You see, I got this idea from F3 and Qing He." Dao Ming Si's voice sighed through the speakers. "They told me about what they did for your last Chinese Valentines. How they called up a station and made some dedications. I should have been there too. . . but I wasn't. Instead, I was dancing beneath the moon, my arms around another woman. . . "

Behind her eyes, Shan Cai knew tears were beginning to form.

"It was what Lei did that gave me an idea. I thought that if I could record what I have to say beforehand then I couldn't possibly ruin it. I know my annoying self would probably messed things again if I try to say in personally."

There was a sigh then a long pause.

"The truth is, I would like to say sorry," Dao Ming Si's recorded finally came back again. "I know I shouldn't really be bringing this up again but I'm truly truly am sorry for everything. Sorry for forgetting you. Sorry for making cry so many times during that time. Sorry for driving you away."

Turning to the real Dao Ming Si, Shan Cai could only smile weakly. "Pig head, it's not your fault."

Dao Ming Si only pressed a kiss on Shan Cai's forehead. In the background, Dao Ming Si's voice continued.

"I know you'll say it's not my fault," he started that Shan Cai couldn't help laughing. He knew her well. "But it was _my_ fault, just say you forgive me. Please?"

Hearing him say all these, the first tear finally fell from Shan Cai's eyes. Behind her ears, she could remember Dao Ming Si's own version of apology, the very famous: "Am I asking for your opinion?"

To hear Dao Ming Si directly apologize came as rare as occurrences of meteor showers. It was a good thing he decided to record this speech of his after all. Now, she'll forever have proof that her this stubborn, persistent and overwhelming man actually knew how to say those words.

But he didn't really have to this time. It wasn't really his fault. But the fact that he thought it was and how he's trying to make up for it made him so much more endearing.

Going on tiptoes, Shan Cai pressed her lips to his. Very short. Barely a second. She pulled back, blushing. "You're forgiven."

Finally, his face broke into a smile. That adorable dimple of his deepening by each nanosecond. They embraced tightly.

After a while, Shan Cai pulled back. "So what crazy thing more do you have to say?" she said, her voice teasing.

Dao Ming Si gently caressed her hair. "The record's finished." He leaned over and gave her a kiss. The time he pulled away, Shan Cai could hardly breath.

"But personally," he said, smiling happily, "I want to say that I love you." He kissed her again, gentle, soft and quick this time. He stared deeply into her eyes. "I love you, Shan Cai. I love you more than anything in this world. I love you more than any man has ever loved a woman."

That would sound a little too exaggerated but Shan Cai believed him. Anyone would if they could see the way he looked at her, the way he held her, the way he kissed her, the way he had steadfastly refused to give up on her all those times before proved his words.

More tears escaped her eyes as she clung tighter to him. "I love you too, Dao Ming Si. I love you so much."

Minutes passed and they stayed in each other arms, contented having their heart beat together. After they grew tired from all their dancing, Dao Ming Si pulled Shan Cai to a corner of the room where a table for two was set up. They ate happily, like two innocent teenage kids just starting to experience the thrill of love.

All was happy again until desert time. Would the surprises never stopped? Tears were again in Shan Cai's eyes as she stared down at her strawberry short cake.

"Dao Ming Si. . . "

Dao Ming Si, with his fork, took the strawberry and offered it to her, smiling. Shan Cai bit her lower lip first before taking a bite.

Dao Ming Si smiled at her. "Now, I don't owe you anymore strawberries." He took her hand into his and squeezed. "But I still want to use my whole life for you. To return all the happiness you gave me." A tear fell from his eyes. "You heard my wish when I was kid, it's still my wish today. I'll protect you and your happiness forever, Shan Cai."

Shan Cai smiled through her tears. The taste of strawberry had never been so sweet. . .

----------------------------------------

They turned many a pair of eyes as they, hand in hand, entered the very posh and very exclusive French restaurant Andrei. As the maître d' showed them to their table, Jing could almost hear the silent musings of the employees and other guests.

_I guess that's another F4 member officially off limits!_

Inwardly, Jing couldn't help smiling happily. Yes. Today, Valentines Day 2003 was her first official date with Hua Zhe Lei. To her, it felt like she had been dreaming for this day forever.

Arriving at their table, Lei pulled the table for Jing. She smiled gratefully and sat down. After, Lei sat down from across her and they did their orders. Only when did they were left alone did Lei turned to Jing and smiled.

"You know what the guys were thinking when we entered? I'm sure they were all envious of me having such a gorgeous woman by my side."

Jing laughed, tilting her head to the side to watch him carefully. "My, you are beginning to become the sweet talker, Hua Zhe Lei."

Lei couldn't help laughing then too. After a while, he turned serious. "But you do look stunning, Jing," he said, eyes glowing with honesty.

Jing blushed. "Thank you. I guess you and that black tuxedo of yours isn't half-bad," she joked.

"Half-bad? That's the best you could say?" Lei asked, pretending to be insulted. "I'm sure the other girls in the room are thinking more in the lines of godly-handsome and drop-dead gorgeous."

Once more, Jing laughed. It reminded Lei of water flowing running calmly through a stream.

"You're also getting conceited, I see," she said, still laughing. And though he tried to put up a stone face, after a while, Lei couldn't help laughing along. They continued to joke and tease around.

In Lei's mind, he wondered if he and Jing ever joked and laughed like this before? Never had their relationship as casual and comfortable; so now, Lei couldn't ask for anything more. He and Jing were completely happy. He was determined to keep it that way forever.

Finally they were interrupted with the arrival of their food. They ate slowly, still talking between bites and sips.

A while later, Lei suddenly found Jing earnestly looking around.

"What is it, Jing?"

She turned to him and smiled reassuringly. "Nothing. I just want to commit everything to my memory." She smiled fondly; the tint of rose very becoming on her cheeks. "After all, this is our first date, right?"

Lei smiled back, she was so cute. "Are you enjoying it so far?"

Jing nodded. "I am. Very much."

"Good." Lei reached over the table and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, "I want you always happy, Jing. Do you know when you're happy, you make me feel very happy too?"

Jing felt her cheeks reddening and the spot where Lei's hand grazed her ear tingling with warmth. She knew she was acting like an adolescent kid but she couldn't help it. She smiled at Lei, trying to make the fluttering of her stomach stop.

"You're my happiness too, Lei. As long as you're with me, then I promise to be always happy."

For the hundredth time that night, Lei laughed. Being with Jing, it felt like the most natural thing. "Deal." He half-stood and kissed Jing full on the lips, sealing his promise. He pulled back and stared sincerely into her eyes.

"Suki da, Teng Tang Jing. Itsumo watashi wa suki da."

Tears of happiness came unbidden behind Jing's eyes. "I love you too, Hua Zhe Lei." She cupped his face in her hands and returned his kiss. "I'll always love you too."

---------------------------

Obviously they had no idea how much attention they were drawing to themselves - they did look so good and beautiful together. But the two were lost in their own little paradise to notice the envious and admiring glances thrown their way. Ever since they entered, they got the center of attention. And though he tried, Tian Li couldn't help watching them have their dinner as well. He only averted his eyes when Lei suddenly kissed Jing. His grip on his fork tightened until his knuckles went white.

"Tian Li, are you okay? What's wrong?" came a sweet, concerned voice. Tian Li looked up to find Xiao You watching him with worried eyes. A pit of guilt formed at his stomach.

Last night, he knew he had complicated his relationship with Xiao You more. When he snidely made that comment in front of Ah Lang and Xiao You, he knew he had messed up. And as the foolish guy he was sometimes, he decided to drown away his misery through alcohol even when he very well knew that he wasn't good in drinking and it could very well affect his thinking.

And it was true. When he woke up this morning, he was surprised to find Xiao You in his arms. He had absolutely no recollection of the events the night before. He suspected Xiao You had probably went to talk with him but he could not remember a thing at all. In the end, Tian Li could only wish he didn't do or say anything he should regret.

Watching Xiao You sleep in his arms, Tian Li felt his heart tighten. It was selfish of him because though it was true that he wasn't as sure for the feelings he had for her, he knew he still wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

No matter what the circumstances now, he still wanted her. He needed her. . .

So as Xiao You opened her eyes, Tian Li did the only thing he could. He didn't know if he had done something wrong last night but he couldn't dwell on that. All he could do now was pretend everything was good and so he cheerfully asked her out. It was Valentines Day, he had added.

At first, Xiao You didn't respond. She only looked at him, eyes reading his. In the end, she smiled. Her hesitation had Tian Li thinking that maybe he did something. . . but still, he shrugged it off.

Their wedding was seven days away after all. Just seven days more then maybe after the 'I do's', all the confusion would stop. It would definitely, right?

Tian Li forced a smile on his face. He reached for Xiao You's hand. They weren't as warm as before. But then again, Tian Li knew his hands now were just the same.

"I'm okay, no need to worry."

Xiao You nodded; she then took her hand away. Tian Li watched her sipped her wine slowly.

A long silence enveloped them. Tian Li remembered their last date in Canada. He and Xiao You had dinner out too but that time, they couldn't stop talking and laughing.

That date felt like a millennia, a lifetime ago and yet it had only been two months since.

Knowing he had to stop the unhealthy silence between himself and his fiancée, Tian Li took out a small box from his tuxedo's pocket. He placed on the table and pushed it towards Xiao You.

"Happy Valentines, Xiao You. I hope you like it." Behind his ears, Tian Li pushed away the nagging thought that his words didn't exactly passed up the way a groom would speak to his bride.

Xiao You smiled. "Thank you, Tian Li." Taking the box in her hands, she tore away the wrapper. Inside, it was another box. A box made of blue velvet. A jewelry box.

Opening slowly, Tian Li watched Xiao You's eyes widen in surprise.

And he knew exactly why. Inside the box was a butterfly pendant and necklace. A butterfly pendant almost like the one she received from Ah Lang last Christmas. But unlike his brother's gift, this butterfly pendant didn't have a pure white gold chain to go with. This butterfly pendant wasn't as beautiful. Definitely this pendant wasn't as expensive.

But this pendant reminded Tian Li of Xiao You. The simple yet elaborately crafted design of the pendant reminded of Xiao You. Its prettiness matched Xiao You's perfectly.

"I bought that during the time we first met," Tian Li began to explain. "I was waiting a right time to give it to you." Tian Li smiled jokingly, "After a while, I even thought about instead of buying a expensive diamond ring, I should just give that to you for my proposal."

Very slowly, Tian Li took the necklace and pendant in his hands. He reached out and clasped the chain around Xiao You's neck. "The moment I saw this necklace, I thought of you, Xiao You. I guessed I had been wrong to have waited giving it to you. I know it's not as beau-" 

"I love it, Tian Li," Xiao You said, cutting him off. "Thank you." One slender hand reached to touch the pendant in her neck. "Thank you, Tian Li."

They stared at each other. At that moment, their eyes bared the truth that there was something wrong between them. But the words they have just said were like indirect assurances that both were willing to still try to resolve it.

They continued to look deep into each other's eyes. This was the part where a couple kiss and declare love for one another. Tian Li tried to open his lips, knowing that if he did then everything would really turned all right.

Yet, somehow he couldn't say the words he knew he was supposed to say. . .

-----------------------------

Two beautiful people lay side by side on a blanket spread out on grass, gazing admiringly up Taipei's night sky. The peaceful sound of the waves took them away from all the troubles of the world.

At that moment, all that mattered was they were together and happy.

"You know, for ten years, I celebrated every Valentines Day staring up the stars, wondering what you could be doing." Xiao Qiao looked over at Mei Zuo. He was gazing at her with soft warmth. "I have wished so very much for it and for so long too that now, somehow I'm having a hard time believing all these are true." Xiao Qiao broke their stare and leaned her head into his shoulder. She smiled, thinking how Mei Zuo brought her here in this place where she had thrown her cello in before. Here, where he serenaded her by playing her cello himself. Here, where they had the most romantic candlelit picnic. "This perfect date. . ." Xiao Qiao's hand found Mei Zuo's. "Your hand in mine, this is my Valentine dream since I was twelve." She raised her head again - Mei Zuo was still staring lovingly at her – and smiled, heart beating with so much happiness.

"Thank you, Mei Zuo. Thank you for making this dream happen."

Mei Zuo smiled, squeezing her fingers. He brought their joined hands up and brought it to his lips. He stared long and deeply into her eyes.

"No, Xiao Qiao, I should be the one thanking you."

Before Xiao Qiao, Mei Zuo never had the need to wrack his brains, thinking of ways to please a girlfriend on an occasion as St. Valentines Day. Every tedious year, he did the same on Valentines. Bring whoever his current girlfriend was to an expensive dinner. And as he sat across from those girls, he did nothing but endlessly wished to have the evening to move faster.

But like everything he felt for her, Xiao Qiao made Mei Zuo feel differently this Valentines Day. She managed to make him go absolutely crazy planning this evening. After all, this was their first Valentines together. Damn if he would have anything less than perfect.

In the end, he felt quite proud of the way things went out.

Though, he never understood what Dao Ming Si found so romantic about stargazing, after this experience with Xiao Qiao, Mei Zuo never felt as appreciative of the stars and skies. . .

And though their dinner was no gourmet feast at all – just some simple sandwiches - he was proud to say he prepared everything himself. . .

He even had to secretly learn playing cello for a week. And though he played quite badly, Xiao Qiao's touched smile made all his efforts worthwhile. . .

Mei Zuo sighed contentedly. He was glad he decided to spend their evening in this place. This place which held a really special place in his heart. This place he first found out about Xiao Qiao's cello-boyfriend. . .

The memory made him smile. Who would have ever guessed he was that 'secret' love? For the millionth time, Mei Zuo wondered what he ever did to deserve this girl's love.

Half-sitting up, Mei Zuo leaned on his elbow and stared down at Xiao Qiao. "I should take you for driving me crazy, this foolishness as Xi Men liked to use. . . " He shifted as to have his upper body on top of hers. "For giving me that wonderful feeling Ah Si had been raving about before. . . "

Just as Xiao Qiao face was beginning to flush red with their proximity, Mei Zuo suddenly rolled them over.

Their faces were less than an inch from each other, their lips hovering just a breath away from touching. A weird thumping began in Xiao Qiao's heart. "Mei Zuo, what are you-"

"And I thank you for giving me that feeling of wanting to love someone more than I thought I ever would," Mei Zuo said, cutting her words. She was so beautiful, her long hair tickling his face and neck. He reached up to caress a satin cheek.

Moving his head, Mei Zuo touched Xiao Qiao's lips with his own. At the back of his mind, Mei Zuo told himself that given such circumstance, touching, kissing Xiao Qiao was probably not the best of ideas. His kiss lasted barely five seconds and he was pulling back. He stared at her - with what he knew – was with love and desire.

Seeing his emotions in his eyes, a little look of uncertainty quickly crossed Xiao Qiao's eyes and Mei Zuo was quick to reassure her.

"I'm sorry but don't worry. I just want to hold you." He stared deeply into her eyes, "Is it okay?"

Looking down at this man, Xiao Qiao couldn't help the fluttering in her stomach. Actually, he made her feel more flustered than afraid. As much as she was sure of her feelings for him and his feelings for her, she just wasn't ready. She smiled at him, very happy and touched that he understood even without asking. That he respected and loved her enough as to think about her first before himself.

She nodded, wordlessly saying of course it was okay. Then she leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes in contentment.

They held each other, so happy and so very in love. Xiao Qiao couldn't help smiling as Mei Zuo softly whispered promises into her ear. Her heart gave a jump as Mei Zuo's lips traced small kisses on her hairline.

"I love you, Ying Xiao Qiao. I'll never ever stop loving you."

Xiao Qiao closed her eyes, trying to let those words and how Mei Zuo just said them forever remain in her memories. "I love you too, Ling Mei Zuo." She smiled against his chest.

"And you're welcome."

-------------------------

"Been drinking again?"

Xi Men stopped on his tracks. It was almost midnight when he returned to Xi Men mansion and he was surprised to find Xiao You standing before him. Had she been waiting for him?

After all that has happened last night. With Tian Li seeing him and Xiao You and Xiao You running after Tian Li, with Xiao You ignoring him as he knocked on his brother's door, Xi Men knew he couldn't face Xiao You. He thought Xiao You probably didn't want to see him anyway.

That's why he went to work very early that morning to avoid Xiao You and his brother. Knowing they probably had some plans for Valentines, Xi Men stayed away until this late as to avoid seeing them too.

He forced a smile on his face. "No, I was at work." He stared back at Xiao You, wondering what she was thinking. Her eyes were blank of emotions. . . so very void. . .

Finally after a long silence, Xiao You spoke, her voice very even and calm.

"We need to talk, Xi Men."

Xi Men could only nod. She was right. They need to talk. They had so much to talk.

But for a moment, Xiao You was hesitant to start. "My parents, little brother and little sister would be arriving in a few hours." Bravely, she raised her eyes to his. "I told you about them arriving, remember that day, I. . . "

"I do," Xi Men supplied. His eyes filled with sadness, "You said nothing can stop the wedding."

Another silence followed them until Xiao You nodded. "And still today, nothing could. . . " she whispered.

To Xi Men's great consternation, Xiao You pulled out something from her skirt pocket. She took his hand and placed a necklace with a pendant on his palm. It was the gift he had given her before.

"Xiao You. . " was Xi Men's shaky breath.

Her eyes met his squarely, they were still void of emotions. "That was a mistake, Xi Men. I should have never accepted it." For the first time, Xi Men noticed the necklace she was wearing. No doubt, just as the diamond ring on her left hand, Tian Li gave this necklace to Xiao You. And no doubt her intention in giving his gift back was very clear.

She was taking away any smallest form of hope for him. . . she was finishing the tiniest of spark that she may feel for him. . .

She was choosing Tian Li. . . she was still choosing Tian Li. . .

"Xiao You." This time Xi Men's voice came out ragged as he felt tears formed behind his eyes.

In his mind, he saw her. . . Dressed in an outrageous outfit in Jing's birthday. . . Crying in the middle of the street. . . Bravely, telling him that she liked him. . .

Without another thought, he grabbed her. Clung to her fast and close. If only that time, he had been as brave as her. . .

"I love you, Xiao You," he cried, his face buried in her hair. He pulled back and stared pleadingly into her eyes. "I love you. I had loved you even before you went away. . . but I was a coward and I didn't do anything. . . But I did love you and I love you first than my brother." He pulled her to him and kissed her. Kissed her the way he had always wanted to kiss her. When she didn't respond, the passion turned into desperation. When she still stayed limp in his arms, he pulled back. His heart broke to see her staring at him like he didn't mean anything at all to her. He stepped back from her a couple of steps with the tears freely raining down his face.

"Why? Why, Xiao You?" His voice was as broken as glass now. "I know you loved me, you loved first before my brother. . . "

With those words, the empty look in Xiao You's eyes turned glassy.

"I did, Xi Men. I did love you. More than you may know," she sobbed. As Xi Men tried to take her in his arms again, Xiao You shook her head, evading him.

"But I can't," she moaned through her tears. "I can't. I can't leave Tian Li now." She looked up at Xi Men, eyes so full of pain. "If you confessed a day earlier, I think I may have gone to you without a second thought because. . . because part of me. . . I think I still do love you."

Xi Men would have crowed in joy if he could. He had longed so much to hear her say that but the look in Xiao You's eyes only froze his heart.

"But it's all different now," she continued. "After all that has happened last night. . . Did you know that a part of Tian Li still loved Jing too?" Xiao You's shoulders shook violently and her lips quivered unmercilessly.

It broke Xi Men to see her like this, gingerly he took her in his arms. Though she still kept on trembling, thank god, she didn't resist him.

She buried her head into his chest, crying softly. Finally, she began speaking again, her voice so hoarse. "Xi Men, you know what? It hurt so much to hear Tian Li call for Teng Tang Jing's name."

A chill ran throughout Xi Men's spine.

"The pain I felt made me realized how much I really love him. I love him, Xi Men. . . I love him so much."

"Xiao You. . . "

Pulling back, Xiao You stared back at Xi Men. Neither knew where the marks of his tears began and where hers ended. Their cries mixed together in an agonizing symphony of heartstrings breaking.

"Somewhere in his heart, I know he feels the same. So you see, Xi Men, I can't leave him and I don't want to leave him." She stepped away from his arms, leaving Xi Men's arms aching to hold her again.

"When I came back, I was stupid to let my memories of you and all the regrets of a lost love get to me. In a way, I was at fault for driving Tian Li away from me and to Teng Tang Jing. . . "

She breathed deeply and smiled pitifully. "But I know one day, he'll be truly be able to forget. One day, he'll be finally able to let go of his first love. . .

Xi Men closed his eyes, not wanting to hear what he knew she would say next. He wanted to run, run fast until not even Fate could catch up.

But his feet remained stoned on his spot.

"Just as I am willing now. . ."

The first strike of the grandfather clock came, announcing it was no longer Cupid's Day.

. . . No, not even St. Valentines could give him a miracle now. . .

"Goodbye, Xi Men. Thank you for all the memories but from now on, I won't think about them anymore. She smiled, a bit wryly. "You know, I do think that you're a good man. . . but you're not my good man."

And before Xi Men could say anything more, Xiao You was running away. . . Like Cinderella, running in a hurry as the clock continued strike the hour of twelve. . .

But unlike Cinderella, she didn't leave any hope for the person she left behind. No glass slipper that could hint how to find her again. . .

Instead, she left him a butterfly necklace damped with tears. . .

----------------------------

**Next chapter:** As the winner of the battle among brothers, Tian Li knew he should be happy but how could he when he himself wasn't certain whether his bride's decision was out of duty or love? Between a heartbroken Xi Men and a stubborn Xiao You, in the end who would be the one to finally truly let go? Find out Thursday in **Between Xi Men and Xiao You.**

AN: I feel like I just gave out the next chapter with my 'preview' thing. Oh well, my mind's have not been working properly and I can't think of anything better anyway so please bear with the lame chap. Hehehe. Anyways, there'll be a very 'intriguing' scene between DMS and SC. It's so intriguing that I have that scene written down for a while now. Hehe, well, just wait for it, okay? On the mean time, comments please! I know this chapter was all mushy and waffy(warm, fuzzy feeling: used in sailormoon fanfic slang) except for TL-XY-XM part but I'm afraid, Valentine's spirit is getting to me. Hehe, I hope you guys don't mind. Well, xie xie in advance.


	17. Between Xi Men and Xiao You

**AN: **Here it is, min'na-san. Once more, I am sorry that this came out later than promised. I really did plan to have this out Thursday(as I've said, I want to finish the fic before my bday) but it had been my prelims week in school and I wasn't able to squeeze it between studying anatomy, therapeutic exercises and physical assessment. O.o So anyways, I'm sad that I won't be able to finish/put up the last chap before my bday but at least enjoy this chapter first then cheer me up later!

**abyss**: no i am not a coucher. i think they're more of ken fans. i voice very clear and very proud am a jerry fan. hmm, make that a obssess jerry fan thank you for reading. can i be a honest? i tried to check your fic, and ohh how do i say this. you see i am a dms-sc fan(more of a dms fan than dms-sc actually) and a lei-jing fan, i'm afraid, i dont know if i can read your story w/out getting biased. i dont read lei-sc story, lest i wouldnt know know how to comment w/out putting my personal feelings. hmmm, here's the deal, if you want i'll read your story and comment on the everything (plot, grammar, character development, etc) except the love relationship. i know that would be weird but i dunno, it would be like a very objective review. is that ok? sigh well, tell me what you think and i'll get back to you as soon as i can. once more, thanks!

**piglet:** dms and sc. haha. i guess i'm just being obvious of the pair i love most. hmm, or maybe it just mirrors MY dream with dms. and of course lei and jing. winks they are my second fave pair(it's SOOO good to finally be able to be honest w/that!) anyways, read this chap and you'll find out the conclusion of xm-xy-tl. thanks as always! you're the best. you're my oldest/most loyal reviewer ever since i started this fic. i sincerely give you my biggest appreciation!

**yellow**: thanks for reading! read this chap find out!

**Disclaimer:** Geez. I've run out of disclaimers. . . (Stupid anatomy exam. . . killed all of my brain cells. . . )

This chapter is dedicated to _sol, jek _and_ bottle_. They were able to read between the lines and deduct correctly some points in the TL-XY-XM triangle.

-

Chapter 17: **Between Xi Men and Xiao You**

"You know these past few days, I've been thinking a lot. I can't help remembering how good you were to me ever since I was little, Tian Li. You did a lot for me but now when for the first time I can return all your favors, I can't. . . "

Xi Men sighed. He has never been good at confessions. But he can't just leave without explaining and coming clean with his brother, right? Hard as it was, he had to do this.

He pulled his phone back into his mouth to speak softly into it again. Since he was such a coward, he can only confess the truth to his brother thru a voice message.

"The truth is I'm in love with your fiancée. . . Yes, I love Xiao You and I've actually been doing my best to win her back."

Xi Men sighed again. "But she rejected me and now it's less than two days before the wedding, I just can't stay here and watch. I'm sorry to say that it kills me to see how much Xiao You loves you. I'm sorry to admit that it hurts to see how much her parents, little sister and brother adore you as well. I'm sorry but I just can't force myself to be happy for you, Tian Li. . . "

Xi Men's voice broke as he felt his eyes watering. Hoarsely, he managed to choke out, "So, I'm sorry to say I can't be at your wedding. I need some time alone right now. . . so Tian Li. . . just take care of her, okay?"

With that, Xi Men ended his voice message. His brother would get it probably when he wakes up tomorrow. By then, he would be gone. . . long long gone. . .

Putting his phone down on his bed – thinking he didn't need anything to help F3 track him down - Xi Men went out of his room. It was two AM in the morning and he was the only soul still awake in the Xi Men mansion.

He was leaving. Leaving to find himself. Maybe everyone just had to go through this stage. Like how Tian Li did before, like Ah Si, Shan Cai and Lei, now it was his turn to run away. . .

Run away until all the pain is gone. . .

Before that, he needed to do one last thing. He stopped outside Xiao You's door. He envisioned her sleeping soundly and peacefully on her bed. Even in her sleep, she must be smiling. As she should. After all, sadness just doesn't suit her. . . and yet that was all he ever gave her. So maybe it was better that she marry Tian Li. Surely, his brother would be able to make her happy. . .

Xi Men stared at Xiao You's door for a few more moments before going down on his knee and putting an envelope on the carpeted floor before the door. He really wished he could face her and tell her personally the things he wanted to say but he knew he wasn't that brave to face another rejection.

With one last look at Xiao You's door, Xi Men went on his way.

And that was how it was, years ago, the older Xi Men brother left home to try and forget his unrequited love. . .

Seven years after Tian Li came home but this return meant the younger Xi Men brother's turn to leave. . . this time, all to forget the love he had lost to his brother. . .

Now, only time would tell if Xi Men Zhong er Lang would ever return. . .

-

"That's beautiful."

Looking up from her position in playing her cello, Xiao Qiao turned to see Mei Zuo by her music studio's door, smiling at her. She smiled back.

"What are you doing here?" she asked as he reached her. She lifted her face for his kiss.

"I missed you," Mei Zuo answered as he pulled away. He smiled sheepishly as Xiao Qiao raised a brow. So it was only nine in the morning and they last saw each other barely ten hours ago but why not? He really did miss her already. He stroked her hair. "Is that piece you were playing new?" he asked, diverting the attention. "It's very nice."

Xiao Qiao smiled knowingly. Okay, so he wanted to change the topic, that's fine. But really he was so adorable she couldn't stop herself from squeezing his fingers.

"Yes, it's new," she finally answered. "I've composed it myself."

Mei Zuo's eyes widen, impressed. "Really? It was really good." He traced a finger along Xiao Qiao's jaw and teased, "Who is it for? Me?"

Xiao Qiao laughed and stood up from her seat; she tried to pinch Mei Zuo playfully. All she got was hard muscles.

"Don't get your hopes up." She brushed back his hair from his face and smiled. "It's for Shan Cai and Dao Ming Si." At Mei Zuo's raised brow, Xiao Qiao continued, "For their wedding. Shan Cai asked me if I could play a piece for them and I was more than glad to agree. She doesn't know it yet but I made something especially for them."

Mei Zuo smiled; she was so sweet. And so talented too. He kissed her right cheek. "It's beautiful and they'll surely loved it," he said before kissing her left cheek. "So? What is it called?"

"Ni Yao De Ai."

Mei Zuo couldn't help laughing. "Kinda suits them," he said and Xiao Qiao couldn't help joining in his laughter.

They were suddenly interrupted when Mei Zuo's phone suddenly started ringing. He pulled away from Xiao Qiao and answered Shan Cai's call.

As she watched him talk to Shan Cai, Xiao Qiao couldn't help getting anxious. Mei Zuo's face was turning paler and paler. Finally, he hung up.

"What is it?" Xiao Qiao was quick to ask. "Don't tell me they're canceling the wedding?"

Despite the dread forming at the pit of his stomach, Mei Zuo couldn't help laughing. Xiao Qiao could really do that to him. With just a word or a smile from her, she could change his whole mood.

"Cancel the wedding? Nothing of that extreme, Xiao Qiao."

She looked completely agitated and Mei Zuo couldn't help smiling again. She had accepted his friends so much. . . She was being more concerned that he was and yet she didn't even know about the situation yet!

"Then what is it?"

Her question brought Mei Zuo back to the current problem. He frowned. "It's Xi Men."

"Xi Men? Why, what happened to Xi Men?"

Now that she was panicking, Mei Zuo couldn't help panicking himself now too. Yes, it was like they share the same emotions now.

Pressing his hands to his temples, Mei Zuo grimaced. He couldn't understand his buddies sometimes. What's with their fascination with running away? Ah Si running away from being a Dao Ming. . . Lei too. . . and now Xi Men?

God, with a broken soul right now, Mei Zuo could only hoped Xi Men wouldn't do something foolish. . .

"I just hope he wouldn't be stupid enough and go heave himself down a building-"

Xiao Qiao gasped. "WHAT? Xi Men did what?"

Mei Zuo shook his head, realizing he was misleading her through his words. "No, no, no. Xi Men didn't do anything. . . yet. . . " Mei Zuo frowned, "But he ran off and only God knows what stupidity that guy could think of."

Finally, Xiao Qiao can breath easily again. "Ran off?"

"Yeah, probably couldn't stand seeing Xiao You marrying Tian Li." Mei Zuo shook his head. "What a mess! What a completely complicated mess!"

Xiao Qiao could only stand there silently. Her heart was tugging for Xi Men, though it was unfair to her friend Tian Li, suddenly she was understanding how much Xi Men Zhong er Lang really do love Xiao You. Such a sad thing to see brothers vying for the love of one woman.

Seeing the concerned look on her face made Mei Zuo smile. Xiao Qiao had a heart as big as Taiwan. The concern in her face made him even more endearing to him. He pulled her to him and kissed her forehead reassuringly.

"Hey, don't worry. I was only kidding. I'm sure Xi Men wouldn't do anything so drastic." He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "At least, I hope so."

Xiao Qiao leaned her cheek to rest into his shoulder then sighed. "I just feel bad. I've been rooting Tian Li all this time. But now, I see how much Xi Men actually cares, somehow I feel torn and I'm not even Xiao You!"

Mei Zuo nodded in understanding. Yeah, poor Xiao You. . . Poor Tian Li too. . . And of course, poor Xi Men. . .

Tightening his hold on Xiao Qiao, he could only thanked all the powers that be that except for her cello, he didn't have to compete Xiao Qiao's affections with anyone. . .

Shaking his head, Mei Zuo sighed, remembering his buddy. Tomorrow it would be Xiao You and Tian Li's wedding. Whatever happens he could only wish now that Xi Men would be able to take it. . .

-

_To my first and one true love,_

_I know you are decided with my brother but I had to leave this letter behind because at the very end, I still want to try again._

_I already told you about my feelings but I regret I wasn't able to tell you sooner. Because in reality, Xiao You, you had my heart for a very very long time._

_But I am Xi Men Zhong er Lang, I prided myself of not needing any woman permanently, of not needing love. I admit it now, my resentment for my father before influenced me a lot. If I didn't commit myself, I couldn't possibly hurt anyone, I couldn't possibly hurt myself. But I was wrong; because of my cowardice, the first girl I ever liked had still been hurt._

_After that I think my reputation as a playboy went up another notch. I wanted to believe I was perfectly happy with my life then you came along._

_Truthfully, you were the last girl I'd thought I'd go after. But when I saw you that time at Jing's party, for the first time I called a girl cute and actually find it endearing._

_For the first time, I went out of my way to help a woman out. I'm more known to make girls cry than make them smile so even though I didn't know why I was doing it that time, all I knew is I didn't like seeing you cry._

_After that time, I helped you, we slowly became friends, at the back of my mind I knew I was playing with fire. I had never let a woman get close to me, except Xiao Gen, and I ended up hurting her. I didn't want to hurt you but somehow I couldn't stay away._

_So when you confessed to me, there was only one thing I knew what to do. I need to stay away from you as far as possible. And yet, I still planned that date. When I told you I wanted to scare you, actually I was trembling inside myself. I was scared you would see through me and discover that beneath the playboy mask, all I wanted was to find love too. Scared my touches would give away the fact that I was actually attracted to you as well. Attracted more than I've ever been with anyone before._

_But you had to leave, the fact had been all too convenient for me. You would be so far away; I couldn't hurt you then. When you're gone, my feelings would definitely fade too._

_It didn't happen that way. The pleasure I found in having lots of women had never felt as empty as before. I just can't stop thinking of you and those brief times we were together. For a while, I actually thought about giving up my playboy ways. _

_But I can twist things the way I want to believe. You were gone and that should be good for me, right? So then, I returned to being playboy Xi Men but somehow not as notorious as before. _

_Then finally that time you came for a visit. Once more, you managed me to make me open up and that's more reason why I should stay away. By telling you my story of Xiao Gen, I thought you'd give up but instead you actually helped me find Xiao Gen's message. I'll forever be thankful for that, Xiao You._

_When I held you in my arms then, I should have told you the truth. Told you how grateful I am for what you did. You helped me moved on from a ghost that haunted me. Back then, I should told you how grateful I am for you. You saw through me and yet you understood. Discovered the weak side inside me and still accepted that. _

_More importantly, back then I should have told you how much I really liked you because now that you're marrying my brother and I understand you want to forget all the things we shared before. As much as it hurt, I know I would have to accept your decision. _

_So forgive me if I had to leave like this. I hope you understand that though you think I am a good man, I regret that I'm not ready yet to be a good man for anyone else but you._

_If a day comes that I'll be able to forget, I hope we can start over. Let's hope if that day comes, there would truly be no more regrets._

Xiao You's didn't even realize she was crying until she reached the end of the letter.

Xi Men. Every word in his letter had pricked at her heart. For a long long time she had longed for nothing but to hear him say such words.

It was a beautiful letter. And yes, even she would admit so full of love. But it was a love she had left in the past. A love that was nothing more but a bittersweet memory. . .

Wiping away her tears, Xiao You could only wished one thing.

_Yes, Xi Men, let's just hope there'll be no regrets. . ._

_-_

Have you ever felt so right and so wrong at the same time? So sure and so confused? So deeply in love and not?

Tian Li had.

With all the courage he could muster, Tian Li reached to take Xiao You's hand.

They were in the garden, sitting closely together. It was barely noon of February 20, 2003. In less than twenty-four hours, he and Xiao You would be facing the altar. . .

When everyone wore up this morning, there was only one thing they realized. Ah Lang was missing.

But when Tian Li checked his phone, he found a voice message from Ah Lang. He was asking for apology, saying he couldn't be on his wedding. Asking sorry that he just can't be happy for him. Asking sorry that he can't forget Xiao You. . .

"We need to talk, Xiao You," Tian Li started softly.

Xiao You turned to him, eyes filled with apprehension.

"I received a message from Ah Lang, he said he won't be coming home again tonight. He said he won't be coming to the wedding at all."

Xiao You lowered her eyes and remained silent. "I know," she said finally after a while. "He left me a message as well."

Tian Li guessed as much. He stared at Xiao You, his heart breaking. Could he really go through this. . . ?

He had to. . .

"Xiao You, please tell me honestly what do you feel about it? How do you feel about my brother?"

Xiao You raised her eyes to meet his. "Tian Li, I'm marrying you tomorrow, do you really have to ask?"

A self-mocking smile twitched in the corner of Tian Li's lips. "Yes." Sighing, he released his hold on Xiao You's hand and turned to look in front of him instead.

"Do you know why it didn't work out between me and Jing?" His voice came out low and pained.

Xiao You turned to him surprise. She was shock to have him bring this up. He never initiated telling her anything about Jing. She kept her silence, waiting for him to continue.

"She couldn't return the feelings I had for her. Because even though she had put me in the highest of pedestals, that's still not enough. " He turned to Xiao You and gave a small pained smile. "It's because adoration plus respect plus gratitude still doesn't equal love. Love is just love."

"Tian Li-"

"You were always saying I'm perfect," Tian Li began, his voice thick. "Jing used to always tell me the same too. . . " Tian Li stopped for a few seconds, trying to control his emotions. "I don't know why I never realize it before but now, I think I understand."

With a trembling hand, Tian Li reached out to touch Xiao You's cheek. He stared for a long time into her eyes before asking, "Am I the perfect side of my brother, Xiao You?"

Xiao You's eyes widen in shock. They stared at each other for a while until she pulled away from his hands and looked away. Her actions confirmed Tian Li's suspicion. It hurt a lot him a lot. . .

Changing the subject, Tian Li began to tell her about his past with Jing. "Jing and I grew up together. When we were of right age, I told her my feelings and for a time we dated but in the end I understood she could never loved me honestly. So I ran away from home. . . to escape."

Very slowly, Xiao You turned back to Tian Li. She looked intently at him, silently telling him to continue.

Tian Li took a deep breath before doing so. "For six years, I tried to escape the pain of a broken heart. For six years, I can't even look at any girl and not remember about Jing and get hurt. . . that was until you came along, Xiao You."

Tears welled in Xiao You's eyes. Tian Li instantly felt his own tearing up as well.

"You taught me to smile and laugh again. You helped ease the pain of the love I lost, Xiao You. I loved you for that and I do love you. There's a part of me that truly loves you." Tian Li exhaled a deep shaky breath, "But I can't deny that I also still love Jing. Remember when I told you about forgiving and forgetting? I told you I did it wrong. Though I tried to forget, it didn't mean I have truly forgiven. So now, it's all too obvious that I haven't forgotten as well."

Cupping her face in his hands, Tian Li tried to catch Xiao You's eyes. They were filled with confusion.

"The way I see it now, Xiao You. Neither have you." Releasing his hold on her, Tian Li only stared at her. The physical contact was only making things harder for him. "I don't think you have completely forgiven and forgotten Ah Lang. . . you didn't want to forgive and forget. Because deep inside, I think you never really wanted to give up."

Hands shaky, Tian Li reached to brush away his hair from his face. He felt Xiao You's eyes follow his movement and he knew why. The act was so much like his brother's. Aside from their looks, it was one of the few mannerisms he and Ah Lang had in common.

He smiled ironically. "You know, I don't want to be a man who loved with half a heart but I really really do like you. If there was even a cell in me that could believe you love me for who I am, I could be selfish enough not to let you go. . . but I really do think you still love my brother. . . "

Not able to suppress herself any longer, Xiao You wrapped her arms around Tian Li.

"I'm sorry. . . so sorry," she sobbed. Tian Li smiled in her hair. He pulled back and fondly pinched her cheek.

"Silly girl, what are saying sorry for? You'll be making my brother happy, what's there to be sorry about? Don't think about me, Xiao You. I'll be fine. Instead, think about yourself and think about Ah Lang. You two deserved to be happy."

Xiao You smiled despite her tears. He really really was perfect. How could he be this understanding? This giving? She looked at him, asking him silently what would he do now?

Tian Li understood and though he was hurting a lot, he still managed to smile. "You know, I think we could really make it work between us but I think we loved each other for wrong reasons but I don't regret it because I still believe there was a reason we met. . . Maybe to help us face the truth." He smiled jokingly, "Or maybe it was to give my brother a smack in the head. . . Or maybe there's something else. . . All I know Xiao You is I didn't regret it."

He pulled her to him. Leaning over to Xiao You, Tian Li gave her a short kiss. A short, one last farewell kiss. . .

"I'll never regret it, Xiao You." He hugged her to him tightly, knowing it'll be the final time he'll ever be able to hold her like this. Tears came to his eyes again.

"So, Xiao You please be happy. . . for my brother. . . for me. . . "

-

Her shoulders were shaking violently, tears raining down her face endlessly.

Hua Zhe Lei pulled Jing towards him, stroked her back repeatedly and tried his best to soothe her.

He didn't want to see her cry. He never wanted to see her cry. He wanted her to know, he'll be by her side forever and he was ready to share every happiness and difficulty in her life.

"Please stop crying, Jing," he whispered, brushing and kissing her tears away.

Jing let Lei wrapped his arms around her tighter. It felt good to have him here, if it wasn't for his arms around her, she would fall apart.

"Why did they break up, Lei?" she asked, her voice hoarse from all her crying. "Is it. . . because of me?" This time her voice came out meek. "Is it my fault?"

Lei tilted her head so he can stare into her eyes. "It's not your fault," he stated firmly.

Jing nodded. Though her sobbing mellowed a little, tears still continued to run down her eyes. She rested her head upon Lei's shoulder, thinking how disastrous the day had been.

First, Xi Men had gone missing. . . and now the news of the wedding cancellation. . .

Xi Men could be very well the reason behind the wedding being cancelled. But. . . as unthinkable as it was, Jing couldn't stop thinking whether she could she have some fault at this too? If she had, then it was her worst fear come to life.

Now that she was finally with Lei, Jing knew she couldn't be any happier. But could she really live with knowing she could still be very well hurting the man she owed so much?

Oh, how more cruel could Fate be to let brothers fight for a love of one woman? How more cruel could Fate be to let Tian Li get broken? Again. . .

"Do you want to see and talk to him?"

Startled, Jing turned to Lei. He was looking down at with so much understanding that she wanted to cry again.

Yes, she did want to see Tian Li. She needed to talk to him. Surely, he needed comfort. After all things he did for her on the past, for once, maybe she could return the favor.

"Would you come with me?" Jing asked Lei, timid and unsure. "I need you."

Lei didn't answer but instead he kissed her lips, reassuring her. As the kiss stretched on and on, Jing was filled with courage.

And she knew she needed all the courage she could. . .

-

Dao Ming Si and Shan Cai sat next to each other, mounds of papers in front of them. They were sorting out the guest list for their wedding. Dao Ming Feng had just arrived back in Taiwan and was giving them another hell of a time.

But not the hell like before, she had truly accepted Shan Cai to be her future-daughter but she was still making things hard for them. Really, did she need to invite a folder full of politicians, businessmen and media?

"So stressing!" Shan Cai said, looking at the pile and pile of names they yet had to look into. She turned to Dao Ming Si. "I feel bad for Xiao You, after going all through this hard work, the wedding is suddenly off." Dao Ming Si raised a brow at her. She laughed, "Okay, so I don't feel bad, I'm proud. Our matchmaking ways paid off, don't you think so?"

Dao Ming Si shrugged. With a day before their wedding, Tian Li and Xiao You suddenly called it quits. The media would probably blow it out of proportions so no one knew yet except those closest to Xiao You and Tian Li. But Xi Men had gone missing and no one knew how to contact him so of course it was safe to assume he still thought the wedding was on. "She yet have to find Xi Men, remember? He still doesn't know the wedding is off."

Shan Cai smiled and shrugged. "I'm sure, it'll worked out." She put her hands together like an excited kid. "I'm really happy for Xiao You, and of course to Xi Men."

Dao Ming Si didn't comment; he only remained silent. He was happy for Xi Men and Xiao You too. Happy that Xiao You would be able to make his buddy happy. But aside for being glad, there was also a pit in Dao Ming Si's stomach. For some reason he felt bad for Xi Men Tian Li.

Sighing, he picked out another paper. He stopped and his eyes narrowed thoughtfully. He stared at the name for a while before he turned to Shan Cai. She was busy listing out names again.

"Shan Cai."

"Hmmm?" she asked, head still buried in her work.

"I was thinking-"

Quicker than light, Shan Cai's head snapped towards Dao Ming Si.

". . . why don't we pair Tian Li with someone too?"

Shan Cai couldn't have been more surprised if Dao Ming Si suggested they adopt cats. He didn't like cats and as far as Shan Cai understood, he never cared for Xi Men Tian Li either. And wasn't he always saying they should not 'butt into' these things?

"Are you serious? What have you taken a liking to matchmaking now?" Shan Cai asked, eyes fixed questioningly at her fiancée.

Dao Ming Si blushed. "I just feel bad for Tian Li, okay?"

That answer made Shan Cai smile. Truthfully, her Dao Ming Si had come a long way. From the arrogant I'm-a-gorgeous-and-don't-I-know-it jerk, he had turned to a more human one, actually being compassionate about others now too.

Shan Cai nodded her head; well, she feel bad for Tian Li. Since she and Dao Ming Si did a lot in helping out Lei and Xi Men get their true loves, why not try helping Tian Li too? Who knows maybe it could work out this time for him.

"So what do you have planned?"

Dao Ming Si turned to her, eyes serious. "Well I was just thinking it this way. Tian Li loved Jing. They were together for a while but Jing actually loved Lei instead. Lei. . . on the other hand. . . ah. . . "

"Liked me for a while before," Shan Cai tried to help.

"Right." Quick to change the subject, Dao Ming Si smirked. "You two could have been together but you were just too deeply, madly and desperately in love with me. . . "

Shan Cai frowned at him. "Don't flatter yourself," she said wryly.

Dao Ming Si smiled cockily before shrugging off. "Anyway, so this is what I have in mind. Maybe I have the answer for Tian Li-"

"Dao Ming Si!" Shan Cai suddenly cried, aghast. "You are not planning on leaving me for Xi Men Tian Li, are you?"

Dao Ming Si scowled at Shan Cai. He was being serious here! Honestly, this woman was too difficult. . . yet he loved her much nonetheless.

"Are you done joking around?" Shan Cai only smiled cheerfully. Dao Ming Si stared at her mouth. Her desirable little mouth. . . he almost leaned over to give that mouth a kiss but quickly stopped.

"Wash your mouth with soap, would you?" he said, grimacing. "Even as a joke, those words are just too disgusting."

Shan Cai lifted a brow at him. "And what if I don't?"

"I won't kiss you then," he said simply.

Shan Cai almost laughed. As if that should worry her! Most likely he'll only be punishing himself. She met his eyes, challenging him. After a while, she began to frown seeing he was actually serious!

Annoyed, Shan Cai crossed her arms. "Fine! Don't kiss me then! See if I care!" Dao Ming Si only shrugged, irritating Shan Cai more. Stupid, annoying pighead! "So? Aren't you going to explain your plan?"

Dao Ming Si was baffled. What was she suddenly being so grouchy for? But knowing he could never argue and win over with this woman's mood swings, he decided to shrug it off.

"Well," he began. He turned the paper he was holding over to Shan Cai. "What do you think?"

A still irate Shan Cai peered over to see whatever the stupid pighead was holding up. Something akin to suspicion flickered within her but she quickly brushed it off. She rolled her eyes and turned back to Dao Ming Si.

"Forget about it! They have absolutely nothing. . . " A light of realization flashed across Shan Cai's face. ". . . in common. . . They're. . ." Suddenly, Shan Cai was smiling excitedly. She forgot all about being annoyed with him and clasped her hands around his neck. "They're perfect for each other!"

Dao Ming Si smirked and returned her hug. They were pressed closely and with the way her cheeks were flooded with color, it took all of his control not to kiss her. In the end he gave up the fight and touched her lips in the barest of kisses. "Yes, I think they are."

At the contact of their lips, Shan Cai suddenly felt breathless. She felt her cheeks warming delightedly.

She turned to Dao Ming So. She would have crowed that he had just lost to his 'no-kissing-policy' but she was too giddy to be teasing.

"So? What do we now?" she asked. Thoughtfully, she unconsciously licked her lips; suddenly she realized it and saw how Dao Ming Si followed her movement with intense eyes. "We should plan. . . " She blushed even deeper. "But I'm thinking we could also. . . "

"Kiss." With that Dao Ming Si leaned over to Shan Cai and gave her just that. Damn mouth and tongue and the curses or jokes from them. But damn it more that he just can't ever say no to this woman. . .

And they still had two months more before the wedding anyway. Planning could wait later. . . much much later. . .

Pulling her closer, Dao Ming Si let the paper he was holding slipped from his hands. . .

-

Tian Li forced a smile on his lips as he stared at Jing and Lei. It was the first time he came face to face with them ever since they got together. They didn't see him nor Xiao You last time at the restaurant after all. Despite himself, like that time, Tian Li could only marvel how good they looked together.

"Is there something you guys wanted to talk to me?" Tian Li finally asked. He could only hoped his voice didn't reveal how affected he was at the moment. Could only wish his eyes didn't betray the oceans of tears he had shed since that afternoon.

Jing lowered her eyes and it was Lei who nodded.

"Jing wanted to talk to you." With that, Jing lifted her eyes and met Tian Li's. She was silently asking him if it was okay.

Though apprehensive of the strange atmosphere hanging around the, Tian Li nodded.

"Sure, is the garden, fine?"

Jing nodded. Lei turned to her and kissed her cheek affectionately before whispering, "I'll just go and see Xiao You."

With that, Lei turned to walk away, leaving Tian Li and Jing so dreadfully alone.

After a while, Tian Li finally smiled and asked to lead her outside. Once on the garden, Tian Li couldn't help cursing himself.

Did he really have to suggest the garden? Just a few hours ago, he ended everything with Xiao You here. . .

And now Jing. . .

"So you wanted to tell me something?" Tian Li hated how his voice came out, scared and broken.

For a while, Jing didn't speak. Suddenly, she surprised him when she reached to touch his hand.

"You're hurting, aren't you?"

Tian Li turned to her, eyes wide and incredulous. He saw her eyes brimming with unshed tears.

"Jing-"

He wanted to pull away from her hand and yet he didn't want to either . . .

Suddenly, memories flooded his system then. Country from country he went, always trying to find the acceptance he so desperately sought.

And yet. . . and yet. . . he didn't find it. . . he thought he found in Xiao You but he didn't. . .

He heard his voice before he knew it. His smile was ironic. "When we first met after all these years, I told you I'm happy but actually I didn't keep my promise. . . I didn't find happiness. . . "

Suddenly, Jing's arms were around him. Tian Li stiffened.

"I'm sorry," he heard her whisper. A tear fell from her eyes and into his shirt. "For everything. That you're not happy when I am. . . " Pulling back, Jing looked into his eyes. "I know it wouldn't help much but I'm here and if you want to cry, I'll let you."

For a second, Tian Li only stared at Jing then trembling hands went around Jing. He was probably only hurting himself by letting himself touch her again but maybe this was the closure he needed. . .

No more running away this time. . .

"You know, I still love you." There he finally admitted it.

Jing smiled sadly in response. She wrapped her arms around him again. "I'm sorry. . . but thank you. . . "

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. The words echoed in his mind and it made things lighter. . . Somehow. . .

Suddenly, at that moment, Tian Li found his answer.

He pressed her to him as tears finally fell from his eyes.

His biggest mistake before was trying to escape the truth. He loved her, loved her so pure and true, that couldn't possibly be wrong, right?

Yes, it wasn't. . .

Unrequited as it was. . .

-

"What took you so long? I've been waiting for you."

Xi Men stared disbelievingly at the woman before him. Was she a dream? An illusion? It couldn't be her. It couldn't be Xiao You standing before him on the very same rooftop that turned their whole story upside down.

Today was her wedding day and he had gone here in this rooftop, to reminisce the time he was able to hold her because he knew in a matter of hours, it would be even more forbidden that ever. . .

And seeing Xiao You here now, the darkness shadowing her features in some mysterious aura, Xi Men knew this must be a beautiful dream.

"Xiao You?" His voice came out unsure yet hopeful. "What are you doing here?"

Xiao You smiled mysteriously. She turned away from him and towards the billboard. Xiao Gen's billboard. It was still a few more minutes before sunrise. . . a few minutes before Xiao Gen's message would appear again. . .

"The last time we were here together, there was only one thing I was thinking. Thru Xiao Gen's message, I wanted to tell you my own message as well."

Xi Men watched her, heart beating more hopeful each passing second.

Xiao You turned to him yet she lowered her eyes, a sad smile on her lips. "But when I saw you cry, I understood I should give up. I thought I should just forget you or I'll just get hurt because I thought you may never forget Xiao Gen." Xiao You heaved a heavy sigh. "So when I returned to Canada, I did my best to forget, I had to forget I kept telling myself. . . And then I met your brother."

Xiao You lifted her eyes and bravely met his. "He's everything a girl could wish in a man but more importantly, he reminded me of you."

A shock Xi Men could only stare at Xiao You. After a while, he had wits enough to take her in his arms.

"Oh Xiao You. . . "

She buried her face into his chest, she wasn't crying but her voice held very raw and deep emotions.

"Though I had to give up on you, deep inside I knew I actually didn't want to. Through Tian Li, I found the things I always wished I could share with you. I wanted to be the one to heal you of all the pains, but you didn't let me yet Tian Li did."

She clutched at his sides, pressing Xi Men closer. Xi Men welcomed it, wanting to be as close as he could be. . .

"I wanted to be the one to make you happy but you wouldn't let me. . . Tian Li did. . . I wanted to love you and you didn't let me. . . But Tian Li did."

Pulling away, Xiao You stared at Xi Men. She had never been more certain of her feelings for him at that moment. She reached out and touched a hand to his cheek.

"I didn't want to hurt your brother, it was true that because I know he needed me. But when I said I loved your brother and said I don't want to leave him, I understand now that it was actually because I love _you_ and I didn't want to give up on you."

Xi Men stared at her. She had become such a strong woman. To be able to say these words and not falter. So much courage she had. At that moment, Xi Men knew he only loved her even more.

"So, maybe in a way, I did love Tian Li but all because I loved you so much, Xi Men. . . I know that now. I know now that I never actually stopped loving you. . ."

Those were the words he'd been waiting for. Xi Men hauled Xiao You to him and kissed her, as he should have done that last time they were there.

When they pulled apart, tears were freely flowing down their cheeks. Oh so much time they had wasted.

But it didn't matter now. . . if they could be together. . . Everything would be alright. . .

"I love you too, Xiao You," Xi Men whispered, his lips hovering close from hers. He kissed her again. Kissed her a few more times before he could continue.

"I love you, Xiao You and I should have told you that before. . . but I was a coward, please forgive me?"

Xiao You shook her head. She smiled. It was the innocent sweet smile he first saw on her. The same innocent sweet smile that completely contrasted her outfit when he first laid eyes on her on Jing's party. The same innocent sweet smile that made him go to her in the first place.

"You don't have to say sorry," she whispered back. "It really looked impossible then. . . and I had my own faults. . . " Her voice shook up before she wrapped her arms around him again. "Thank you for not wanting to give up. . . Oh Xi Men, I'm just glad, all that is over."

As Xi Men gather her into his arms, for the first time ever since that day he found out she was engaged to his brother, Xi Men felt his heart lighter. In the back of his mind, he thanked his buddies, Shan Cai but most especially, he thanked his brother.

Surely, his brother was happy for him and Xiao You. . . but it didn't mean he wasn't hurting right?

_Tian Li, _Xi Men thought. _Thank you. . . and I'm sorry. . ._

Xi Men then tilted Xiao You's head and stared for a long time at her eyes. He had always been saying that he would never go after her type. But it was her pure and innocent type that taught him and his brother so much about love.

But d_on't worry Ge Ge. . ._

The moment he thought of that, Xi Men couldn't help smiling. It's been years since he addressed Tian Li with that title. Even just for that moment, Xi Men knew it wasn't wrong if he felt his blood-brother Tian Li was thicker than of F3 . . .

_I promise. . . I'll make her happy. . . _

And with that he sealed his promise and leaned towards Xiao You. They kissed for a long time. Kissed like two lovers who had ran a big field to jump right into each other's arms. . .

And back where it was, Xiao Gen's message appeared with the first few rays of the sun. . .

"I love you, Xi Men," Xiao You whispered when they finally pulled apart.

"I love you too, Xiao You. . . "

And once more the couple kissed again as if making up for all the time they had thrown away. They were oblivious to anything but their own pounding hearts. . .

Eventually, as the sun rose fully, the Xiao Gen's message disappeared again and yet the two never even noticed. . .

-

**Next chapter:** Love is in the air! Now that the day for Dao Ming Si and Dong Shan Cai to tie the knot has come, who of the remaining pighead 3 would come next? Between watching his first love in the arms of Lei and his ex-fiancée bask in his brother's side, would Tian Li finally meet the right girl? Find out with the last chapter - **Between Endings and Beginnings**.

**AN:** So how was the chapter? Haha, kinda mushy I know. Hehe, sue me, after all the drama I had written, my mind had finally given up on me. Anyways, for the last chap/epilogue another guessing game is up. So who do you think is this person dms and sc calls 'perfect' for Tian Li?(Read between the lines, readers!) Guess right and of course, the chap would be dedicated to you. Or you guys could guess who of the 'remaining pighead 3' would come engaged next and I would dedicate the epilogue to you as well. So, I'll shut up now and let you guys review my story! Please review; my 20th birthday is coming tomorrow so I want some cheering up, okay? (hayyyy, I cant believe I'm 20! Aurghhhh! I feel SOOOOO old!) Oh well, just be sure to be all complimenting and praising, ok?

**AN2: **Some might ask me what the hell am I saying? I'm contradicting myself with each chapter. So this is my proof about Xiao You's feelings for Tian Li. If you are skeptic/or couldn't understand what I was trying to say in the chapter then please go and read the following chapters again to refresh your memories. Chapter 1 – when Xiao You met Tian Li, she couldn't stop thinking how he looked like Xi Men. Chapter 5 and 9 – Xiao You kept comparing Tian Li and Xi Men. Chapter 16 – While looking at the sleeping Tian Li, she thought how much he looked like Xi Men. . . Well, just lil inferences that could mean so much, no? hehe


	18. Between Endings and Beginnings

**AN: **This is it, min'na-san! The last chapter of our fic. I feel so happy, my second completed story! Though I wasn't able to finish it as I originally planned(before I turn 20), I still feel accomplished in a way. After all I finished this in 9 months, a big improvement from the last that took me a year and a half(but hey that first sailormoon fic was during the first time MG aired in the phils. I couldn't think about anything for more than two minutes other than dms!) Hehe, well, enjoy the epilogue please!

**Juliana:** am i really? so many readers always tell me that i'm mean and wicked. poutsanyways, one of your guesses is right, so read on to find out who! oh! thank you for greeting me.

**piglet:** hehe. does that mean you hate ye sha? (i do too! tee hee hee) anyways, thanks for greeting me. about who gets to be engaged next, read on ohh thanks for dropping by 'this time around' i'll try to update as soon as possible

**lostbeauty:** hehe. i'm sorry about xg and xm, hope you still like it though. thanks for reading!

**Disclaimer:** This is the last chap and yet, I still can't think of anymore disclaimers. . . (jerry's been missing in action far too long. . . I'm missing him soooo much that my mind isn't working as it should. . . )

This chapter is dedicated to **_Lhara, charm_**, **_Miracle_**, **_Myself_**, **_Juliana_, _piglet, Guess_ **and **_vase_**.

Chapter 18: **Between Endings and Beginnings**

He tried looking away. Really he did. He tried all sorts of tricks too.

First, he tried counting the number of roses decorating the entire church. Somewhere around one hundred twenty something, he caught a sight of pale lavender bridesmaid's gown and he just lost count. Next he tried looking for F4 but it didn't work either. Mei Zuo was too busy staring at Xiao Qiao. Xi Men too busy holding Xiao You in his arms. Lei too busy speaking with Jing. And Dao Ming Si? He was too busy getting nervous. Defeated, he saw some Ying De classmates and decided to go and talk to them instead. It worked for a while until a boy he was talking to just had say that!

"Mi Mi looks exceptionally pretty today," the boy had commented casually.

As if his eyes had a mind of their own, Qing He followed the boy's gaze. He couldn't say the boy was lying even if he tried, Mi Mi did look good. Her simple make-up emphasized her pretty features and her modest gown showed off her young and slender figure.

Soon, Qing He excused himself from the boys he was talking to. It was no use since his gaze just couldn't stop wandering towards his junior.

Suddenly, his heart jumped up to his throat when he caught Mi Mi walking towards him. Afraid he was caught staring, he turned away so quickly that he almost knocked down the high table with the beautifully arranged roses beside him.

"Qing He Senior," Mi Mi greeted as she reached him. Trying to keep a straight and impassive face, Qing He turned to her.

"Oh Mi Mi, it's you. I was just staring at these beautiful roses here." Qing He knew he was rambling on like a robot but he couldn't stop, just as he couldn't stop the strange drumming rhythm of his heart. "Well F4 is F4. Nothing but the best, right? And ahh. . . um. . . did you want something?"

Mi Mi blinked at him confusedly and Qing He felt a complete idiot. But suddenly when she smiled sweetly, Qing He felt twice as idiotic. How come even Shan Cai never made him feel like this?

"The wedding coordinator just received a message from Shan Cai Senior; she'll be arriving in a few minutes. Now, the coordinator wants us all ready for the entrance."

Mi Mi's words only caused Qing He to get nervous even more. Suddenly, his palms felt cold.

As expected, Dao Ming Si's had three best men. F3. Aside from them, he only had one groomsman – him. For the life of him, he couldn't understand what they were thinking of partnering her off with Mi Mi.

Just imagine it. After those little flower girls, he and Mi Mi would walk down the aisle. Side by side. Sure, there'll be three best men walking down with three maids-of-honor as well. But it was public Taiwan knowledge that Lei was with Jing, and Mei Zuo was with Xiao Qiao, just as Xi Men was with Xiao You. There's a small probability that some just might mistake him and Mi Mi too.

Ohhhhh. Why did she have to be so cute? So pretty? Why did she have to be. . .

"Qing He Senior, Qing He Senior, are you okay? Is there something in my face?"

"Huh?" Mi Mi watched as Qing He shook his head, as if clearing a fog. "No no. I'm okay. And no, there's nothing in your face. What makes you think that?"

"Oh, it's just that you were staring at me." The reply she got was the last one she dared expect.

"Oh well, it's just you looked so pretty." Mi Mi's big eyes went even bigger. Realizing what he said, Qing He's face quickly began to color red.

"I mean. . . ah. . . that is. . . "

Feeling a bit flustered, Mi Mi bowed her head, hiding her what she knew was flushed face too.

This was the second time her Qing He Senior called her pretty. And like the last time, it amazed her how her heart began to beat wildly.

She had been thinking that her Qing He Senior was beginning to grow feelings for her. More like hoping, she amended. She couldn't deny that she liked Qing He and truthfully as the weeks passed, Mi Mi knew she was soon headed for the L-word.

A long awkward silence followed. Mei Zuo, helpful as ever, yelled something, breaking the torturing silence between Qing He and Mi Mi.

"Bao fa hu de er zi, stop flirting and fall in line already!"

Mi Mi and Qing He's faces reddened even more. Well, at least, Mei Zuo did managed to cut the silence.

"Flirting? Who? Me? You are funny, Mei Zuo!"

Still blushing, Qing He grabbed Mi Mi's hand and her heart almost jumped right out of her chest. As they walked towards the line in front of the church, Qing He kept muttering how silly Mei Zuo was.

He released her hand the second they arrived at their place in line.

Surprisingly, it was Hua Zhe Lei who started the teasing again. "Why are you, blushing Qing He? Maybe it's true?"

"WHAT? NO! You all got it wrong!"

Mei Zuo slapped Qing He good-naturedly at the back. "When you need any help at all. . . "

"Right. But if not Mei Zuo, you can come and ask me too," Xi Men added.

Truthfully, Mi Mi was beginning to get worried that her Qing He Senior's face would explode soon. With all the blood going up on his face. Just in time, the bridal limousine arrived.

Mi Mi held her breath. Dong Shan Cai, soon to be Dao Ming Shan Cai, was the personification of a perfect blushing bride in her pure white silk gown, which Mi Mi knew trailed behind her for eight yards. Through Shan Cai's veil, you could see the excited and nervous smile on her shy face.

Shan Cai was her role model but Mi Mi couldn't help suddenly helping a little jealous. Could she ever compare to her? Most especially in dearest Qing He's eyes?

Risking a glance at Qing He, she was thoroughly delighted. He wasn't looking at Shan Cai with his usual dreamy look instead he was actually staring at her. Again!

Pretending not to have caught him staring, Mi Mi smiled softly to herself. There was no need for her to feel sad. Wasn't Shan Cai Senior her idol?

Her and Dao Ming Si's love was one of the most impossible romances in history. But look at them now, a poor girl and the wealthiest son of Taiwan about to get married.

Surely, it mean there could be hope for her too, right?

Shan Cai had never felt as excited and as nervous as she did now. And as she walked down the aisle, she couldn't help smiling beneath her veil, remembering once upon a time in her life, trudging along he great Ying De road had excited and made her nervous too.

Cameras after cameras kept flashing and Shan Cai could only remember how she used to always say she hated being in the crowd of the high-class people. But look at her now, amidst not only Taiwan's but also Asia's wealthiest names and she was at the center of attention.

What had changed her life?

Looking up, she found the three best men, so dashing in their tuxedoes, smiling at her. Ling Mei Zuo. Xi Men Zhong er Lang. Hua Zhe Lei.

They were nothing but little kids to her three years back. Spoiled rich boys who wouldn't know how to live in the normal world. She did her best, tried so many times to escape F4 and their so different world from hers but in the end, there's only one thing left to do and that was to accept that there was no way of resisting F4. She had learned to love this friendship they offered.

Still smiling, the three moved and finally Shan Cai saw him. Her eyes never living his face, she began walking the remaining steps towards her groom.

Dao Ming Si. He was the one who changed her life the most. The same man who had ran after a bus for her. The same man who defied his mother all the way for her. The same who got beaten up so badly for her. The same man who made her fall so helplessly in love.

When did it happen? Truthfully, she can't remember when she had begun to lose her heart and life to this annoying man.

Was it when he tended to her wounds after he rescued her from those boys who bullied her? Or was it when he fell sick after he waited for her for four hours in the rain? The time she had fallen on him and kissed him unknowingly? Or could it be that very first time she gave him an uppercut?

Like before when he had asked her why she had liked him, she couldn't find a definite answer to this question now. Like her answer from before, she only knew she liked him more and more each day.

And now, for everyday for the rest of her life. . .

Finally, Shan Cai reached Dao Ming Si; he smiled first at her before he turned to her parents to give them each a tight hug.

Tears formed in Shan Cai's eyes. Somewhere in the crowd, she knew Li Zhen was there and silently, she thanked her. Though Li Zhen betrayed her once, if she had never dropped that box full of dirt, she may have never had the chance to meet this wonderful man.

For beneath the tough exterior, the rude language and annoying narcissism, he was a kid who just wanted to love and be loved in return. Shan Cai felt forever grateful that he chose her to be that woman.

Breaking away from her parents, Dao Ming Si looked up to meet her eyes.

"Shan Cai."

Oh how she loved the hear of her name on his lips. Spoken so reverently. She was nothing but a weed, but this man who had everything, spoke her name as if it was the most special treasure in the world.

She was still a weed, and a weed she would always be. But she was marrying her Dao Ming Si. Her Dao Ming Si who didn't care if she was no Cinderella because he loved Shan Cai, the weed.

Once, almost like a lifetime ago, in a cruise ship named Norwegian Star, she had wanted to escape being a weed and thrilled becoming a Cinderella. So surreal, it had felt like a wonderful fairy-tale romance; but now the strong pounding of her heart proved she was wide-awake and this was real.

Placing her hand on his, they walked towards the altar to start a real-life happily-ever-after. . .

She had just finished giving her vows. Just like everything about her, Dao Ming Si knew her words had been forever saved into his memory. Even if he lost his memories again, he knew he could never ever forget again.

At least not her. Never again.

Only death could ever keep him away from her now.

With trembling hands, he took her small hand into his own. As he slipped her wedding ring into her finger, he looked into her eyes deeply.

She had never looked so beautiful to him as she did now. This girl; she chose him to be her husband. After all the tears he caused her. After all the chaos he caused in her life, still she had willingly decided to give her heart to him forevermore. That thought alone caused his heart to swell with so much gratitude and happiness.

His wedding was being broadcasted live throughout Taiwan and even some other Asian countries and yet he didn't care who saw how tears started to fall from his eyes. The great Dao Ming Si's eyes.

"Shan Cai, once after running out from a birthday party, you asked me why I chose you?" He smiled at her, "I told you I didn't know why. Until now, I don't why."

He stopped, trying to control his voice. "All I know is when you're not beside me, I would feel as if there's a big gap inside me. I told you that I had everything and could have anyone but I don't want anyone else and if you didn't choose me, all the wealth and power in this world are as good as nothing. . . If you didn't choose me, I don't know how I would live my life. . . "

By this time, the whole church was already crying. Dao Ming Si could have sworn, above all the noise, he heard his own mother sobbing. . .

He turned briefly towards his parents. And true, the invincible Dao Ming Feng had tears in her eyes. She smiled weakly and encouragingly to her son. Just as Dao Ming Cheng did too.

Dao Ming Si smiled gratefully back at his parents. Though he did harbor some resentment for them, he saw the remorse in their eyes. And the fact that they finally gave him his one true wish in life was enough to forgive all the misunderstanding from the past.

Finally he turned back to his bride to continue his vows. He stared at her, every memory – happy and sad alike – rushing into him.

Defying death to return to her. . . running after a bus to chase after her. . . getting beaten up to protect her. . . He'd do all over again for her.

Her. Only for her. Only for Shan Cai.

"Only for you, Shan Cai, I promise to love you forevermore. I would cherish you with everything I have. I would never, will never ever see another woman the way see you. I love you so much and I am ready to give up even my life for you, Shan Cai."

There was nothing but silence around the room. Even the sobbing just from a few minutes ago died away. All was still until the first tear fell from the bride's eyes.

"Shan Cai, I-"

"Pighead," she whispered but oh so fondly. "Shut up already and kiss me."

And who was he to say no to her? He smiled at her, showing off his dimpled cheek.

So even without prodding from the priest, Dao Ming Si pulled his wife's veil off her face.

He pulled her closer by the waist just as she placed her gloved arms around his neck. They stared at each other; even the coldest of heart would know how deeply they were in love. Their lips met briefly but the next second they met again. Slow, gentle and full of love.

"Uh, since the groom and bride are already kissing, there's nothing left to say but I pronounce you man and wife."

The whole church – which had grown silent and shock from the events that had just transpired - erupted with cheers.

The said groom and bride, still too busy kissing, never heard.

"_Zuo ge hao qing ren _

_Mei yi tian dou ke neng you hao shi fa sheng _

_Mei you ku zhi you xiao rong duo ji fen _

_Wo jiu jing he de he neng _

_Ru ci xing yun xiang shou ai ni de fu fen"_

Jing smiled as she tightened her arms around Lei. They were dancing slowly to a beautiful song.

Yes. Finding love, true love, means smiling and being happy. As Lei pulled her towards him a little closer, Jing knew all the sad times were definitely the past now.

Now, she was held by the one man she loved all her life. She was with Lei, and he was such a good lover, the best lover for her, she would never ever feel long for anything more again.

He understood her. Cared for her. Protected her. Most importantly, he loved her.

Loved her as she loved him.

She was only pulled out of her thoughts as Lei whispered into her ear.

"What are you thinking about, Jing?"

Raising herself from her comfortable position in his shoulder, Jing smiled at Lei.

"You," she said softly. She brushed the stubborn lock of hair falling over his beautiful eyes. "And how this song now seems to be describing you."

He smiled – a smile she had grown to love ten times as much as she did when she was a teenager.

He stroked her hair but his eyes never left their hold on hers.

"I was thinking about you too," he whispered. "About us, to be more specific."

The use of 'us' made Jing's heart to skip a beat.

Pulling her towards him again, both tightened their hold unto each other.

"You know when I was young," he began, his breath fanning warmly against her bare neck and shoulders. "I've never imagined this coming." His hand trailed down along her exposed arm, sending a light shiver down Jing's spine.

"I don't think neither Mei Zuo nor Xi Men ever thought Ah Si would be the first for us to get married as well."

Jing laughed. Quite honestly, she herself never imagined Dao Ming Si to be the first of her F4 to get married either. She had always thought Mei Zuo would be first to face the altar; Auntie Ling had been ready for ages to partner off her son with Ying Xiao Qiao.

Once more, Lei pulled Jing out of her reverie as he placed a small kiss in her temple. Jing looked up to him questioningly.

He smiled again – so soft and gentle. "But even when I never imagined that Ah Si would be the first of us to get married, I have always saw this."

His hands searched for hers and brought them to his chest.

"That it would be me and you. Together. Looking at each other's eyes, in love." He leaned and kissed Jing's forehead, "That's been my dream since I was young, Jing. I've dreamed of this for so long."

Jing smiled, touched and moved. She squeezed both of his hands. "It was my dream too, Lei. I've dreamed of the day I could look at you without reserved. Dreamed of the day when we could truly find love."

No words were said next. They let their lips speak for themselves.

Lei could feel her slender fingers playing with his hair, massaging his scalp. In response, he pulled her closer, meeting her lips deeply.

They were definitely attracting attention. But he didn't care. He had waited for this for so long. Even during the time he tried to forget about her and fell for someone else, some part of him wanted this. Craved only for her.

And now, she was here. In his arms, finally. Just as he always dreamed.

They pulled apart simultaneously as the need for air became so great. They stared at each other and saw nothing in the other's eye but pure and honest love.

God, she was beautiful. He had always known that but through the months, they had spent understanding each other, he found out just how deep her beauty was. More than skin deep, she had a heart full of compassion and kindness.

They had learned to give to each other. The other's happiness had become the other's own happiness too.

Like her decision to study law. Before, though he had let her pursue her wish because she wanted it; now, together they had resolved to let her go back to France to continue her last three semesters of school, because Lei found just how passionate she was about helping their countrymen. Though he would miss her terribly every second she was away, they decided to call each other everyday. And every chance he got, he would go and visit her. In turn, she promised to return home every break she had.

No one ever said love was easy. Not Shakespeare, nor any of classic movies. To make love work, one had to compromise. But trying your best to make it work is what makes love even more beautiful.

He was determined to forever work his best for her. He lost her once and he was never going to lose her again.

Though sometimes, he still regretted letting himself wait for so many years before fighting for her, her gentle smiles makes everything all right.

Everything would all right. She was here with him, the girl he loved even before he was old enough to know what love was. She was his love. His life.

Cupping Jing's face, he stared deeply into her eyes.

"Aish'teru, Jing."

Her eyes went wide and tears suddenly sprung from her eyes. He knew what she was thinking.

Suki and ai. Japanese words both pertaining to love. Suki was loving strongly and affectionately; ai was loving unconditionally and selflessly.

Though, he loved her all his life, he found out that wasn't enough. But after being with her for the last few months, he fell all over again. This time, he knew his love would be more than enough.

He loved her with all his body, heart and soul.

"Aish'teru, Jing," he repeated. He tenderly wiped the tears falling from her cheeks then kissed the marks they left next. "Aish'teru."

Her slim arms went around his neck. "Oh Lei, I love you too." She turned so she could face him. "Aish'teru too, Lei. Aish'teru."

As they kissed once more, Lei knew there was nothing more he would ever be asking for.

Well, except maybe one. . .

And that was to have Jing as his own forevermore. . . to have her as Mrs. Hua Zhe Lei. . .

Everyone in the room had their attention on Xiao Qiao; all sat impressed with her, the beautiful lady in the pale lavender gown playing her own musical composition for the newly wed couple.

But no one watched her with as much adoration as Mei Zuo did. His eyes followed the smallest of her movements as his heart pounded with so much pride and love.

Smiling to himself, he remembered the first time he heard Xiao Qiao playing her cello. It was in a restaurant on this very same Maple Hotel. The second he heard her music, heartstrings were strung. Imagine to his surprise, when he finally saw her face. That the very talented girl turned out to be the same beautiful girl he called a 'vase' in Xi Men's party before.

Over the last few months, Xiao Qiao didn't just proved to be a girl gifted with a beauty to make any man stop and stare and talents to make every girl envious; she also turned out to be a smart, witty and fun girl with a kind and caring heart. She possessed in her everything in a girl Mei Zuo didn't even know he wanted.

As Xiao Qiao finished her piece, Mei Zuo was the first on his feet. Soon everyone followed, giving her a standing ovation. As she bowed and thanked the crowd politely, Mei Zuo strode his way towards the platform. She smiled at him and let him assist her going down.

Her eyes suddenly grew wide when he didn't make a move to lead her back to their seat, instead Mei Zuo took her hand closer and pressed a kiss on her knuckles.

Instantly whispering erupted around the room.

"Mei Zuo?" Xiao Qiao looked back at him questioningly. He only smiled at her.

Neither his parents nor F3 knew what he planned to do. And surely, Ah Si would be annoyed with him after but he just couldn't wait any longer. . .

"Xiao Qiao." His voice came out loud, strong and clear. His lapel to be used for his speech later on was actually switched on now. He wanted everyone, including every media personnel to be able to record and hear what he had to say.

He smiled at her first before cupping her face, making her look up at him.

"Ah Si would kill me for taking the limelight off him on his own wedding," Mei Zuo started jokingly. He smiled at his girlfriend before his face turned serious, "but I made a promise to you to be always honest with my feelings."

Mei Zuo watched as Xiao Qiao's eyes went large. The barest hint of red began to color her lovely cheeks. Beneath his hand, he felt how her pulse suddenly jumped.

Catching her eyes with his own, he continued. "You make me so happy Xiao Qiao and I want to whole world to know that I love you." His hand slid up her cheeks, trying to be careful not to smudge her make-up. "I love you so much, Ying Xiao Qiao."

A small shy smile curved up her lips but he wasn't finished.

"You're my first love," he added, tilting her head to maintain their eye contact. "And I want you to be the last and only one too."

He didn't have time to see the surprise look that came to her eyes. He was already on one knee. From his tuxedo jacket, he produced a small blue velvet box. Xiao Qiao stood in front of him, her eyes impossibly large as he opened the box to present with her the diamond ring inside.

Suddenly, cameras were flashing at them and excited murmurs went louder but Mei Zuo's gaze remained steady at his girlfriend and his ears focused only for her answer.

"So what do you say, Xiao Qiao? Will you make me happy for the rest of my life by accepting to spend it with me and be my wife?"

She didn't know what to say. She tried to open her mouth but she couldn't seem to form any words. No words could ever be enough to express all the feelings running in her anyway.

Mei Zuo. This man kneeling in front of her was asking her to be his wife. Asking her to be his one love forevermore.

At that, tears came to Xiao Qiao's eyes.

Ten years she yearned for nothing more than to hear Mei Zuo say he loved her. Ten years she waited to have her chance. Ten years she let herself dream one day Mei Zuo would ask her the words every girl in love wished to hear from the boys they loved.

He was asking her to marry him. Even a few months back when she confidently told Lulu and Gina, she would be the last girlfriend, she knew that was still only a reflection of her wish. Just because she wanted to be Mrs. Ling Mei Zuo didn't mean he wanted her to be.

But even when he finally told her he loved her and promised to love her forever, a part of her clung to that silly little girl in here, daydreaming of the day when she and Mei Zuo would arrive on this day.

Mei Zuo saw the play of emotions in her eyes and he smiled teasingly.

"Aren't you going to answer me soon?"

Wiping away her tears, Xiao Qiao managed to laugh. She stared down at Mei Zuo, her eyes sparkling happily and her heart pounding with so much love for this man.

"You know exactly what my answer would be, Mei Zuo." Her eyes twinkled with mirth, "but I guess I could tell you anyway." Reaching out, she helped him on his feet. They stared at each other while their hands went around each other. Xiao Qiao's arms went to encircle around his neck with her fingers burying in his hair while Mei Zuo's arms surrounding her small waist, his hand pressing unto her bare back.

Unmindful of the videos rolling on them or all the sighing within the room, Xiao Qiao leaned to give Mei Zuo a kiss. Even after she pulled away, her lips tingled.

"I love you, Ling Mei Zuo," she whispered. "You've always been my first love and I've always dreamed that you would be my last and only one too." Fondly, she brushed his hair off his eyes. They were glistening with unshed tears. For the millionth time, she fell for him all over again.

"I'll be more than happy to be your wife," she whispered. Her voice didn't hide the fact that she would start crying again soon.

This time it was Mei Zuo who captured her lips with his own. After a long while, he pulled away. But neither one had tears in their eyes anymore, they only had happy smiles on their faces.

And with more than three hundred pairs of eyes on them, Mei Zuo went to put on her finger her new engagement ring.

"Please tell me he's not mad?"

Xi Men turned to Xiao You who was hiding behind his arm and kissed her forehead, just below the hairline.

"He's not." He smiled wickedly, "Actually, Ah Si's smiling, if I didn't know better, I'd say he's actually touched with Mei Zuo's act."

Xiao You smiled at Xi Men and peered towards where Mr. and Mrs. Dao Ming Si were seated. Xi Men was right, Dao Ming Si did look touched with their friend's open declaration of love. Xiao You's smile grew wider.

She could feel Xi Men watching at her closely. She turned back to him, smiling innocently. "What?"

He reached up and tucked some loose strands off her face. He grinned teasingly.

"With your reaction, I'd say you were touched too."

Xiao You raised a brow at him. "What if I was? Weren't you?"

"Are you kidding me? I am Xi Men Zhong er Lang," he clutched his stomach in an exaggerated fashion, "the words love and forever makes me sick."

Hearing him say those, Xiao You wanted to look stern and keep her face serious. But the glint of mischievousness on Xi Men's eyes caused her to laugh instead. She tilted her head to the side, giggling merrily. Xi Men quickly joined into her laughter.

Finally the two stopped. Xi Men drew her towards him and Xiao You happily rested her head upon his chest.

"I was only kidding," he whispered, trailing a gentle hand from between her scapulas down to the small of her back. "I'm happy for Mei Zuo and Xiao Qiao." He laughed a deep throaty laugh again. "Xiao Qiao is really good for Mei Zuo, she taught him that even playboys can fall in love." Pulling away so he can look into her eyes, he smiled fondly down at her, "Just as you showed me, Xiao You."

Looking back into those brown brown eyes of Xi Men Zhong er Lang, Xiao You couldn't help remembering what could have happened to her if she had never met him.

Probably, she wouldn't have spent countless nights of sleep, thinking if he could ever love her back. Maybe, she wouldn't have cried two oceans of tears from the pain of his rejection.

Slowly, slowly, Xiao You reached up and traced Xi Men's jaw. He was watching her as she watched him. Their eyes speaking just as loud as their pounding hearts did.

She may have gone insomniac, may have cried oceans but they can never equal the feeling of happiness in her heart now.

She had cried for him, he did for her too. . . He had rejected her once, twice, thrice; she had pushed him away so many times. . . Xiao You was just glad those times were of the past now.

But even if they had to face more obstacles, Xiao You was sure she could face them. . . together with Xi Men.

Closing her eyes, Xiao You leaned her head on his chest again. She sighed, contented and very happy.

"So when do you want to get married too?"

Her head quickly came up, a blush staining her cheeks.

How beautiful she looked. How lovely and so innocent.

Even if Dao Ming Si was the best example of how love can start in the strangest situation, Xi Men knew he could give a run for his friend's money too.

Yang Xiao You. She seemed more than a kid dressed for a costume party when he first saw her. He bet all his father's riches, not one had ever thought the very same girl would be the end of playboy Xi Men Zhong er Lang.

Yang Xiao You. How he loved her. It was such a shame though that it had to take getting her engaged with his brother to make Xi Men realize what she meant to him.

Yang Xiao You. She was the only girl in this world Xi Men could imagine himself growing old with.

Yes. Growing old with. When you hear Xi Men Zhong er Lang thinking about getting old with someone, it surely meant he got it bad. Very very bad.

"Xi Men," she protested, her cheeks still pink.

Xi Men sighed, pulling her towards him again.

He'd been trying to hint marriage with her for the last few weeks, but so far all he got were blushes and silence. Basically answers as good as no.

Of course, he understood how she felt. She had just gone thru an engagement and a break-up, and yes with his brother no less. She needed time, especially with the media's eye so closely turned on them. Besides, they had only been together for exactly two months and one week; maybe it was just too early to think about marriage.

But it was okay. At least, she knew how strong his feelings were. At least, she knew just how much he loved her. That he wanted no one else but her. And yes, forever.

"But you do know that I love you, right?"

Once more, Xiao You looked up to him. She smiled, a small, happy and serene smile.

"I do," she said. She then smiled coyly, "Or do I?"

Xi Men caught on quickly to her teasing. He leaned forwards until his lips kissed hers in the lightest of touches.

"I love you, Yang Xiao You." His hand traveled up to cup her face. "I love you, I love you, I love you," he chanted repeatedly as his lips moved across hers tenderly.

Slowly, Xiao You opened her eyes; they were shining with love and happiness. Xi Men was determined to always have them shine like that.

Her arms tightened around his waist. "I love you too, Xi Men." They stared at each other until everyone else in the room began to disappear.

The noise around the room went louder, pulling both Xi Men and Xiao You out of their own world.

They smiled at each other, though a bit disappointed by getting distracted. Trying to gather his senses back, Xi Men whispered, "We should go and congratulate Mei Zuo and Xiao Qiao now."

Xiao You nodded. Taking Xiao You's hand, the two began to walk towards where Ah Si and Shan Cai where hugging Mei Zuo and Xiao Qiao. Lei and Jing were already there too.

As Xi Men's eyes fell on his happy brother, he couldn't help chuckling to himself. He was very happy for Mei Zuo. One day, soon he hoped, he'll be the one getting congratulation.

Leaning over, he whispered softly against Xiao You's ear.

"Maybe not now, but I promise next time it'll be our turn."

Once again, Xiao You turned scarlet. She grinned at him.

"Maybe. Kept wishing for it then maybe it'll happen."

That was a good enough answer for him. Smiling, Xi Men pulled her closer.

Stealing a glance towards Hua Zhe Lei, Xi Men found his buddy holding Jing closely to him. Just then Lei glanced up and caught Xi Men's gaze.

They raised their brow at each other. Xi Men knew that they were having the same thoughts.

But he was Xi Men Zhong er Lang. No matter what, he was going to catch the garter Dao Ming Si would throw later away from Lei. . .

Xi Men Tian Li was shaking his head as he silently made his way for the door of the reception room. He could still remember a time when F4 did nothing but leave a trail of crying women behind them.

He smiled amusedly. Well, surely after Dao Ming Si's wedding and now Ling Mei Zuo's engagement, there were still a lot of women crying now.

For a second Lei and Jing's image flashed through Tian Li's mind. Ah Lang and Xiao You's, the next.

In the next few months, more women would be crying their hearts out when it's time for those couples to get engaged and married.

Finally reaching the door, Tian Li managed to slip out of the reception area without attracting attention.

It's been more than two months since Lei and Jing and Ah Lang and Xiao You started going out. The sudden cancellation of his wedding then seeing his ex-fiancée together with his brother had caused the media to go frantic with their news.

_Xi Men Tian Li Left at The Altar: Bride Goes to His Brother._

_Xi Men Zhong er Lang Gets The Company and Now Also Gets the Girl._

_Torn Between Two Brothers? The Yang Xiao You Story._

On and on, the stories never stopped. Everyday for weeks, pictures of him, Ah Lang and Xiao You were plastered in every known newspaper in Taiwan. If it wasn't until a few weeks ago did it started mellowing down. A bigger news was at hand after all. F4's leader, The Dao Ming Group of Companies' heir, and Taiwan's most sought-after bachelor Dao Ming Si was getting married. The media had decided that writing out Dao Ming Si and Dong Shan Cai's story should be given more attention this time.

But now Ah Si was finally married and Mei Zuo had just gotten himself engaged as well, Tian Li knew it wouldn't be long until all those newspaper, radio and TV media turned their attention to the last two remaining bachelors of F4 in the room.

That's why Tian Li decided he should disappear from the sight for a while lest those paparazzi destroy the good air by asking stupid questions between him, Xiao You and his brother or even between him, Jing and Lei again.

Stealing a glance inside through the glass doors, just in time, Tian Li saw his brother and Xiao You walking towards the front towards the newly engaged couple. Just then, his brother leaned over and whispered something in Xiao You's ear. Her faced brightened red prettily. As she whispered something back, his brother smiled and pulled her closer to his side.

His brother looked so happy. Even though the media had given them a hard time, it was good that it didn't dampen the obvious happiness between Ah Lang and Xiao You.

Turning away from them, Tian Li caught sight of Lei and Jing next. On the dance floor a few minutes ago, in front of all Taiwan's media to see, the two had kissed without reserved. It was quite obvious how much happy and in love they were too.

Turning away from them, Tian Li smiled. Really smiled. What he told Xiao You and Jing before were real, he loved them both greatly. Loved them so great that seeing them so happy gave him some happiness of his own now.

Though she can't love him back, Tian Li was slowly beginning to accept that loving Jing as a friend was better. This time, he decided to faced his pain and not run away and he was grateful Jing was helping him through it. When she had let him cry in her arms when he needed it, it helped slowly eased away the pain. . .

And though she was now with his brother, Tian Li knew there was a reason why Fate let him met Xiao You. If it was to help his brother have his very own happiness, Tian Li was contented with that.

Suddenly from the corner of his eyes, Tian Li caught sight of a canvas that was covered in a velvet drape complete with the tripod set sitting a few meters from him. Piqued whether it could be gift for Dao Ming Si and Shan Cai that had somewhere wasn't brought into the reception yet and of what the painting could be, Tian Li slowly walked towards it. Gently, he pulled back the drape and he couldn't help smiling again at the sight of the charcoal painting.

He was an artist himself and the art impressed him greatly.

"Very good," he said, unconsciously out loud.

"Thank you."

Startled, Tian Li turned to his right to meet a pair of dark hazel eyes. A slender girl dressed in simple yellow gown with her bare tanned arms exposed. She had very attractive features and the big smile made her face twice as pretty.

"You drew this painting?" Tian Li asked finally after he caught himself staring at her for quite a few more seconds more than necessary.

The girl nodded. She turned to her painting and for a second, Tian Li saw some longing there as she stared at the beautifully drawn picture of Dao Ming Si with his arms around Shan Cai.

"A gift for them," the girl whispered. The next second, she turned back to Tian Li and bit her lip worriedly.

"Had the party started long? I'm afraid Shan Cai and Dao Ming Si would kill me if they found out that I arrived only now."

Tian Li smiled reassuringly, "The party started quite some time ago but if you sneak in silently now maybe they wouldn't notice. The people inside are still all over Mei Zuo's engagement."

The girl's eyes sparkled delightedly. "Mei Zuo and Xiao Qiao got engaged? What great news."

Tian Li nodded. This girl seemed to know a lot about F4, maybe she met them while he was away? Though she looked a bit familiar, Tian Li couldn't seem to place where he saw her.

Remembering how the girl had looked while looking at her portrait of Dao Ming Si, Tian Li couldn't help wonder if she was one of those girls who gave her heart and shed tears for Dao Ming Si.

Shaking his thoughts, Tian Li smiled at the girl. Even if he was right that this girl had once loved Dao Ming Si, he also knew she was also an artist. An artist who just told the world with her art how much she knew that Shan Cai and Ah Si belong together.

"Well, I just I should go inside now," she was saying.

Tian Li smiled at her, like the true gentleman, he offered to escort her.

Her eyes brightened gratefully. "Thank you, thank you."

Once more, Tian Li couldn't help smiling. "Don't think any of it." He held out his hand towards her, "I'm sorry I haven't introduced myself. Though you seemed to know a lot of F4, I don't know if you know about me but I'm Xi Men's brother. I'm Tian Li."

The girl smiled. Tian Li couldn't help thinking again how even prettier she looked when she smiled.

She took his hand. "Nice to meet you, Tian Li. Please call me, Ye Sha."

AN: That's it, guys. The end of my humble fic! Thank you for sticking with our characters thru to all their insanity, silliness(can I say Dao Ming Si? ) and drama. Please review, my dearest readers. I would really really appreciate it a lot! Thanks in advance!

AN2: I don't know but you guys may have forgotten so let me just refresh your memories. The last scene is a déjà vu of chapter 1, remember how Tian Li and Xiao You met? Once more please review and oh don't forget to tell me what you think of this Ye Sha and Tian Li thing.

Translation: Zuo Ge Hao Qing Ren (Be A Good Lover)

Zuo ge hao qing ren (Be a good lover)

Mei yi tian dou ke neng you hao shi fa sheng (Everyday good things can happen)

Mei you ku zhi you xiao rong duo ji fen (Without crying, only a bit more smiling)

Wo jiu jing he de he neng (After all what makes me deserve)

Ru ci xing yun xiang shou ai ni de fu fen (Such fortune to be able to enjoy such a lucky share of loving you)

AN3: I don't know if you guys would read it but I might make sequel of one-shots on the 'what happens next?' There'll probably be six chapters, one for each F4 member and their partners, another chap for Mi Mi and Qing He and last for Tian Li and Ye Sha(still not sure on this, I'm waiting for your response on the pairing). Once more, this is still a maybe. I'm currently working a Sailor Moon fic(which I haven't updated in almost a year! Eeek. I'm so scared visiting the sailormoon fanfic section in now), also I'm still working on my Jerry fic then the sequel Jerry-OC fic next, also I'll be starting my Fushigi Yuugi/Nakago-Yui fic in another two weeks or so, and I had impulsively started the fic I promised dearest bottle and Myself(I was supposed to do this story until later but now it's here, do check it out!), the lei-jing fic so if I do make some sort of sequel for this story, please don't expect so much on it. hahaha. After all, I already followed my whim on writing an MG story, I think it's time I returned to my first love in writing: the anime fanfiction world. hehehehe

Anyways, here's the uniqueness of this sequel. In Between You and Me, I give previews of what happens for the next chap, right? This time around, I'll just give titles of the next chapter and I want you guys to 'challenge' me in writing the one-shot with your ideas.

For example, the first chap would be titled 'Between First Nights and Morning Afters'. Yes, obviously it's about SC-DMS's honeymoon night. (Ohhhhhhhhhh ) Now all scenarios you want to see, tell me all of it and I would try to squeeze as many into the chap. Of course rating's only up to PG-13! I cannot even imagine DMS with anyone other than me. Hahahaha.

Well that's it for now. Tell me if you like this idea. If not, well, crazy me.

Thanks again, min'na-san! I love you, Jerry, err I mean I love you all! See you in the other fics!


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